These Eyes Are Blind

Frank wakes up early Sunday morning because he can’t convince himself to stay asleep. He tells himself it’s not because he’s excited to see Gerard, but even he knows that’s a giant lie. Of course he wants to see the guy. Well he isn’t actually going to be seeing anyone, but he wants to be in the same vicinity as Gerard, even though seeing him is out of the question.

Frank stays in his room, trying to go back to bed for what feels like an hour, but he’s not sure. He didn’t attempt to find out what time it was when he woke up so it’s anyone’s guess. He just lies there, rolling around in the sheets, trying to pretend he can’t smell Gerard’s shampoo on his pillow.

That’s how he’d gone to bed the night previously. With his head stuffed into the pillow trying to memorize that smell. He thinks, at this point, that he’d recognize the smell of Gerard’s shampoo anywhere, and he would be able to sniff it out like a bloodhound from some ways away. It’s different to the smell that he’d previously encountered off of Gerard, which would have something to do with the fact that he changed his whole shampoo brand because of the dye. And the dye of course was because of Frank. So really, when he thinks about it, it’s because of Frank that his own pillow smells like Gerard’s shampoo.

The shampoo itself isn’t exciting. It smells like chemicals that are trying to smell pleasant, but just aren’t doing their best. There’s no real distinction in the scent, it doesn’t seem to be trying to smell like flowers or fruit or anything, it just is what it is. Frank likes to imagine Gerard smelling like a comic book. He imagines the smell of the paper the pages are printed on, as well as the scent of the ink. That’s kind of how he likes to think of Gerard.

Gerard also has that voice that’s unique to him. It doesn’t really sound like anyone else’s, which just means his is special. Frank doesn’t know why he’s attached to the way Gerard’s voice sounds, or why he likes it so much, but he knows he does. It’s probably because Frank has memorized most voices by now, and Gerard’s is still new to him. As are Patrick’s, Pete’s, Mikey’s, and Brendon’s voices, but there’s a major difference. None of them are Gerard.

It’s not that they’re not nice people, but they will never be Gerard. Maybe it’s because Gerard was the first person he met in this tiny shitty town, or maybe Gerard really is just more special to him, but he’s got the nicest sounding voice out of the lot of them.

“Frank, I know you’re awake,” his mother calls.

“I’m not awake!” He shouts back.

“So who am I talking to?”

“A murderer who happens to be able to steal people’s voices. Or something like that, I mean, it’s early, I’m not creative this early.”

“Do you want breakfast?”

Frank thinks for a moment before deciding that food sounds like a good idea right now when his stomach growls at him. He calls back that he would very much like breakfast, and then tries to get out of bed up for another five minutes.

His body is too comfortable to get up without a fight, but eventually he does manage to stand up. After patting his hair down enough so that it won’t look like he’s got a nest of bees up there, Frank makes his way out of his room and towards the kitchen.

“How’d you know I was up?” he asks.

“I have a sixth sense,” his mother replies.

“Well that’s nice because I only have four senses,” Frank says.

“Oh, watch your mouth.”

“What’d I even say? I just said the truth! I only have the four senses. Well, that, and the sense of dance, but it’s not up to par.”

“Are you going to tell me how your date went?”

“It was not a date,” Frank asserts, sitting down at the table while his mother cooks. He really would like to help, honestly he would love to have the opportunity to help her make breakfast, but he’s not allowed to. He tried once and ended up burning his hand. Ever since then, Frank’s not allowed to even stand near the stove if it’s on. He would love to at least have the option, but he’s not granted that.

“What was it if not a date then?” she asks.

“Just a, I don’t know. It was dinner. A date would imply that I like Gerard. Why does everyone think I like Gerard?”

“Because you do.”

“Why does everyone think that though?” Frank asks, “Do I have this aura that just comes off as super gay for Gerard or something?”

“You act differently around Gerard, that’s all.”

“Well I don’t try. I mean, what am I doing? I don’t have any feelings towards him. Or maybe I do, but that’s no one’s damn business but my own.”

“I didn’t say it was, but I’m curious,” his mother says, “You don’t have to tell me. It’s not like you got in trouble at school, that’s something you have to tell me about.”

“I just, I don’t know, he’s Gerard. He’s a giant fucking dork, and he’s a little clingy. He’s a little in love with himself in a really subtle way. It’s like he expects me to like him, when I have no real obligation to, but he just assumes I do.”

“I don’t think the word you’re looking for is arrogance, Frank. I don’t think he’s in love with himself at all, I just think Gerard is better at knowing what’s going on in your head than you are. As far as his place is concerned, he’s not in the business of denying away everything you’re denying, Frank.”

“What makes you the Gerard expert?” Frank asks.

“I’m not an expert, Frank. I just know my boy.”

Frank groans, and puts his head in his arms on the table, “Maybe I like him. So what? If I did, and I’m not saying I do, I wouldn’t tell my mom about it.”

“But that doesn’t mean I can’t infer it for myself,” she responds.

About an hour later, while Frank is slouching into the folds of the couch, listening to the news that his mother is watching, he’s trying to find anyway to ask if they can go to the mall that doesn’t sound like a plea to see Gerard. He’s also trying to figure out why adults are always so fascinated with the weather. What’s the purpose of the fucking weather channel? Why can’t they just go outside and figure it out for themselves?

“What time is it?” Frank finally asks.

“Nine. Why?” she responds, and Frank just shrugs. It’s only nine in the morning? That must mean he woke up earlier than he’d thought. He has to sit here for another few hours until it’s acceptable to visit Gerard without it verging on creepy. Honestly though, he’d rather spend hours talking to Gerard than sitting here thinking about talking to him.

“Is there anything else on?” Frank asks, “I think I got the message twenty minutes ago that there’s going to be a light sprinkle of snow on Tuesday. And the temperature might get higher on Wednesday causing some snow to melt. And on Thursday, temperatures will keep increasing. Oh, and you can’t forget about Friday where it’s going to start getting cold again to make for a cold weekend. Plot twist!”

“Alright smartass, what do you want to watch?”

“Well I would love to watch anything, anything at all, but seeing as that’s impossible, I’d be fine with listening to anything that isn’t the fucking weather.”

Frank’s got this theory that no matter what time of day it is, or no matter what time of the year it is, you will always be able to find at least one channel playing the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. He’s not wrong today either, as his mom flips through channels, he hears a snippet of dialogue from the movie, which he’s only technically ever seen or listened to once when his mother was watching it. As it turns out, he doesn’t like that movie, so why does every channel in the world think people want to watch it? Frank is also pretty sure that there’s always a marathon of Seinfeld playing if you look hard enough.

They settle on neither of these things, but instead on what sounds like to Frank, an action movie with Will Smith. He’s always considered movies to be for everyone, because, really, you’re not missing all that much if you can’t see it. It’s not that hard to figure out what’s going on. He still wishes he could see what was going on, because sometimes he’s got to ask what he’s missing, but it’s not the worst thing in the world.

It’s actually a lot easier to remember actors by their voices rather than their faces, or at least, Frank thinks so. He wouldn’t know any actors by their faces if he could miraculously see all of a sudden, but their voices are easy. They’re easier to distinguish by character if you can remember a voice.

Eventually the movie does end, and Frank’s pretty sure that another movie is starting up on the TV when his mom asks him if he’s ready for lunch. He hadn’t realized how long the movie was until now.

“Uh, could we, maybe, uh, go to the mall or something?”

“Why?”

“Just, uh, I don’t know,” he says.

“Does Gerard work at the mall?”

Frank stutters, “I, he might. I don’t know, how should I know?”

“Well does he or doesn’t he?” his mother asks.

Frank sighs, because he knows he’s not going to win this one and he finally says, “Yeah, alright. Gerard works in the comic store.”

“I see.”

“I don’t,” Frank jokes.

“Frank.”

“Sorry.”

“I suppose,” his mother says, and Frank doesn’t show it, but secretly he’s really happy, and internally he’s pumping his fist in the air. Frank can’t help himself from grinning a little bit though. He knows his mother can tell.

“Great,” Frank tries to say nonchalantly.

“You can’t expect Gerard to always pay for your food though, Frank. We’ll eat first, got it?”

“Yeah, okay,” Frank says. He’ll still get to hang out with Gerard, and if they leave a little later, than he won’t seem too desperate. He is desperate, make no mistake, but at least this way it won’t look that way as much.

Frank's mother leaves him in the living room to go start on lunch. Frank's mind instantly begins to wander onto thoughts about Gerard. He shakes his head and stands up. Enough sitting around thinking about Gerard, it’s now veering on the brink of weird. If anyone asks, Gerard has never been on his mind.

Frank collapses on his bed, having walked there during his thoughts, and sighs loudly. He doesn't know what to do to stop his mind from reeling. He could listen to music, but that'd only make him think about Gerard, because they have the same music taste. Frank shrugs and stands up to walk back out to the kitchen. He hits the doorway with his cane once he's there to get his mother's attention.

"Talking helps you know, Frank," she says in a bored tone.

"I know, but I wanted to do it that way."

"I'm not an animal or one of your friends. When you want my attention you simply speak. Got it?"

"Got it. So anyway, could you hook up my radio for me, and find my Misfits album. I'd do it, but you know... I'm blind," Frank says with a sarcastic chuckle and points to his glasses.

"I could do that for you if you don't make any more blind jokes for the remainder of this day."

"Mom..."

"Frank..."

"That isn't fair," Frank argues.

"Life isn't fair," she snaps back at him.

"The remainder of the day? That's harsh mom."

"It's one day Frank. Either way, that's the requirement. Now deal or no deal?"

"Usually there's a better deal being presented. I've listened to the show. I think you're cheating me."

"I'm going to get back to lunch now."

"Deal," Frank sighs angrily.

"Good. Go on to your room while I get your radio," his mother says, the smirk evident in her voice.

"Need help carrying that?"

"You asked me that when we packed it. The answer is still the same. I got this, Frankie. If there's anything I've acquired from you being blind it's strength; in more ways than one," Frank's mother chuckles and turns to him when he doesn't say anything back. Upon investigating the sad look on his face, she says, "Oh honey, I didn't mean that in a bad way."

"Could you just..." Frank gestures towards where he knows some of the boxes are piled neatly in the living room and walks to his room.

Frank's mother sighs and wipes her hands on her apron. She rushes out of the kitchen, just catching Frank turning to go into his bedroom. She sighs again and changes her direction. She goes into the living room and stoops down, searching through a few boxes until she finds Frank's albums. She pushes that box to the side and then looks in the box next to it.

There is where she finds his stereo. She stands up and picks up the box containing said stereo. She walks to Frank's room, and kicks the door open wider as she enters, and walks straight to his dresser to sit it down. She looks at Frank laying down in his bed, curled up innocently. He isn't sleeping, she can tell by his breathing, but he doesn't want to be bothered.

His mother knows him very well, and whenever he curls up like that he's either sleeping, or wants to be left alone. She thinks of all the times when he would lay like that, and she would slide into the bed next to him and just hold him until he was okay or sleeping. She leaves the room and goes to get his albums. She takes them back to the room and sits the box on the floor. She sits down and starts searching through the box.

Once she finds the one she's looking for, she puts it into the stereo and turns it on. She adjusts the volume to something she can stand while being in the same room and walks over to Frank's bed. She hears him sigh as she slides into bed behind him and wraps her arm around Frank. She uses her other hand to card her fingers through Frank's soft locks. She kisses his head and holds him tighter.

Frank lets his mother hold him while fighting with his feelings inside of his head. He knows his mother loves him, he truly does, but sometimes he knows she needs a break, but can't get one. He's not upset with her, he's mostly upset with himself. He's the reason she has to do everything on her own. He's the reason she barely gets out to meet people.

It's his fault she'll possibly die alone, because she's always taking care of Frank, or worrying about him. Frank thinks maybe he should just give in and let Gerard into his life. If he wants his mom to have a life, he'll need to let someone else into his. Friends can be there for him through the day, and eventually, if he goes the distance with Gerard, he'll be there for him at night and always. He could give his mother back her life and give her a chance at true happiness.

Of course Frank isn't just going to do a whole 360 and be inviting to everyone, but he should try to let people in. It isn't fair that he's taking his mother's life from her. Sure she made the decision to have a child, which means whatever came with it she has to deal with, but she was never supposed to have a blind child. Things just happened, and it wasn't her fault at all.

"I'm okay mom. I'm not upset with you," Frank says softly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just want to get to the mall," Frank answers honestly.

"Okay. I'll go finish lunch then. I love you."

"I love you too mom," Frank says. He takes his mother's hand in his and kisses it.

She smiles down at her boy and then slides out of the bed. Frank listens as his mother raises the volume for him, and closes his room door when she leaves. Frank rolls onto his back and folds his hands behind his head. He closes his eyes and listens to the music. He lets the waves move through him from the instruments.

His mind begins to wander again, but this time it's to thoughts of Gerard taking him to a concert. He imagines what it will feel like being in a packed room, pressed against Gerard in a crowd, enjoying the loud pumping of the music. The way his heart would pump to the bass of the drums. The feeling he'd get when listening to Gerard singing along with the band on stage. This is everything he wants at the moment, but also he doesn't want that.

He doesn't want to imagine being at a show with Gerard. Why can't he just imagine being at a show by himself or with associates? Here he is again lessening his relationship with the guys he met and Gerard already, after only ten minutes. Frank knows he needs to get himself together.

If he doesn’t get himself together soon, it’s going to be too late. He’s going to be just another guy who smiles too much and lets people walk all over him. He’s short as it is, he doesn’t need to give people even more of a reason to step all over him.

Frank’s lost in the idea of everything though. He’s lost in the idea of not having to live with his mother for the rest of his life. He’s lost in the idea of not being a burden, but then again, he’s going to be a burden no matter who it is he’s with. He’ll be a burden with his mother, or Gerard, or anyone else. There’s nothing he can do to stop being pathetic and useless.

“Frank!” his mother calls from the kitchen and Frank groans. He’s hungry though, and he wants to leave as soon as possible. He’s not so sure why anymore.

For some reason, seeing Gerard just feels like an escape to him. Being near the guy makes him forget, just for a little while, that he’s messed up. Makes him forget that he’s not just a blind waste of space who can’t do anything. Gerard makes him feel human, if only for a little while.

He pulls himself up though and makes his way to the kitchen to eat. Frank’s not really paying attention too much of anything, he’s just trying to eat so that his stomach will stop reminding him that it’s empty.

“Frank, don’t eat so fast or you’ll make yourself sick.”

“Will I really or is that just an urban myth that mothers tell other mothers so that they get to boss their kids around? Do you need me to wait half an hour before I go swimming to?”

“Frank,” she sighs.

“Hey, it wasn’t a blind joke,” Frank says as a defense.

“I guess you’re right, but I am still your mother.”

Frank shrugs and finishes eating, making sure to chew a little slower because he’s not in the mood to piss his mother off and be denied going to the mall. He’s pretty sure she’s not above that. Frank tries to relax himself. Cool the itching he has to talk to Gerard again for just a little bit longer.

“Ready to go?” she asks, what feels like a century later, though Frank knows it was probably ten minutes, or maybe even less.

“Yep!” Frank says, standing up too quickly and almost falling over due to lack of balance.

“Don’t look too eager,” his mother laughs.

“I’m not eager. I’m just... I’m neutral about the whole thing.”

“Neutral? So than you wouldn’t mind if we didn’t go-”

“No!” Frank cuts in. His mother laughs at him again, nothing evil, just amused by the fear on Frank’s face when he thinks she’s not going to take him to see Gerard.

“Would you just... ugh,” Frank says, “I’m allowed to like his company okay!”

“Yeah, it’s his company you like.”

Frank pretends not to hear and rushes himself into the driveway where the car is still parked. He situates himself in the front seat and waits until the other door opens to his left. The car is cold from being parked outside all night, but as soon as the heating is turned on it warms up almost too much for Frank’s liking.

Luckily, the town is small which means everything is within close proximity of everything else. They’re at the mall in less than a few minutes.

“Just let me walk you to the store so I know where you are,” his mother insists when Frank tries to get rid of her.

“That’s so demeaning,” Frank says, “I feel like you just want to baby me. What if Gerard sees you?”

“Then he’ll understand that I’m your mother and want to make sure you’re safe.”

“Or he’ll think I’m just a little kid who needs his mom to take him everywhere,” Frank responds.

“I’m going to walk you there, whether you like it or not. Understood?”

“Fine,” Frank says, “just don’t follow me in. Gerard’s already schmoozed you enough.”

“Whatever, Frankie.”

Frank likes it when Gerard calls him that, but when it’s his mom calling him Frankie, it feels like she’s trying to make him younger than he is. Or maybe he just really likes it when Gerard calls him Frankie. Probably both.

After waiting the whole day for it, Frank is finally standing in front of the comic book store, shooing his mother off. He can’t stop himself from being excited about seeing Gerard. He hates it, but he doesn’t hate it enough to turn away now.

Frank takes a breath and steps into the store. Almost immediately he’s hit with the sound of Gerard’s voice.

“Frankie!” Gerard’s voice says in a really happy tone which worries Frank. Gerard is happy to see him which is anything but good. He’s letting the guy in. Not only is Frank letting Gerard get to him, he’s also pretty sure that Gerard is letting him in. That’s not as disastrous a circumstance as him feeling anything for Gerard, but still, Frank doesn’t want to hurt Gerard. He doesn’t want to like him, but he’d be sad to know that he hurt him.

“Um, yeah. Hi Gerard,” Frank says.

“You look upset,” Gerard says before Frank’s even stepped more than two feet into the store.

“What makes you say that?”

“You just look upset. I don’t like it.”

“I’m sorry?” Frank offers.

“About what? I’m going to try to make you not upset,” Gerard says, “come over here.”

“Where is here?” Frank says, “I mean, I am above average at Marco Polo, but I’m not that good.”

“You’d make jokes at the end of the world, wouldn’t you?”

“Well someone has to be the comic relief character in the sci-fi movie. They wouldn’t have a fan favorite to kill off if not for the snarky jokester,” Frank answers. He walks toward the sound of Gerard’s voice, careful not to hit any shelves. If he were to knock over a stack of comics, Gerard would probably be the guy who’d have to pick up after him, and he’d hate to make Gerard’s job harder than it has to be.

“Why are you upset, Frankie?” Gerard asks. “Is it because you haven’t been able to talk to me for over twelve hours? That’s probably it.”

“I hope you’re joking, or you’re more self-absorbed than I gave you credit for.”

“Was it not obvious? I’m just really in love with myself, Frank,” Gerard says.

“Yeah, I thought so,” Frank replies. He can feel Gerard looking at him, and he can also tell he’s grinning. He wishes he could see it, but sadly he can’t.

He can just imagine that Gerard has the best smile ever. The brightest eyes, and the widest smile. He’s probably gorgeous too, which is something that does not make sense. Frank should not interact with gorgeous people, mostly because he can’t appreciate how good looking they are, but also partly because he just doesn’t deserve to.

“Do I need to let you get back to work?” Frank asks. He’s not sure if he’s disrupting Gerard’s shift or something.

“There’s no one here right now. Comic book nerds only ever leave the house like, once a week. Usually Wednesdays. That’s when chess club lets out.”

“You do realize you just called yourself a nerd,” Frank says.

“I don’t recall ever claiming to be anything but.”

“Do you also play chess?”

“Me? Chess? No, but I am a fan of Dungeons and Dragons.”

“You’re like a textbook dork, Gerard,” Frank says, “please tell me you’re not, like, wearing suspenders and glasses the size of the moon.”

“Would that be a turn off for you, Frankie?”

“I just don’t want to be seen interacting with Steve Urkel,” Frank replies.

“Well, you just don’t know, do you?”

“Never will.”

“Don’t say that,” Gerard answers casually.

“What makes you think I’m going to see again, Gerard? I’m waiting on a miracle, and that’s what I’ll need to be able to see.”

“Then a miracle is what we’ll wait for,” Gerard answers.

“You mean, what I’ll wait for.”

“Why won’t I be there?”

“Because it’s not going to happen overnight, it’s probably never going to happen at all,” Frank answers.

“Then I’ll just have to wait,” Gerard answers, “though I guess I’ll have to start wearing paper bags when you can see again, because you shouldn’t have to look at someone who looks like me after you’ve spent so long not seeing anyone.”

“I bet you’re just saying that, but in your spare time you’re actually a model or something.”

Gerard snorts, “If you could see me, you’d know how ridiculous that statement was.”

“God, you’re always so self-assure until you talk about what you look like,” Frank makes a face and sighs, “like, you’re fine and then the topic is about what you look like and you’re all of a sudden mister self-deprecation.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yeah it is.”

“Nuh uh,” Gerard replies childishly.

“Yeah,” Frank says, shaking his head, “When we first met and you described yourself you were really critical, and then you just maintained it. You keep writing yourself off as unattractive. Gerard, I may not be able to see, but there are some things a blind person can just sense. You’ve got a nice voice, the kind of voice that makes me think you must be good looking.”

“You don’t think that.”

“I do actually,” Frank replies. He’d never noticed it until now, but now that he thinks about, it’s true. Gerard is really harsh on himself. He’ll throw out compliments about Frank’s looks with a snap of the finger, but he talks about himself like he’s a lump of clay.

The chime on the door rings, alerting Frank to the fact that someone just stepped in. Frank just tries to lean against the counter casually, as he listens to Gerard straighten himself up and greet to whoever is there.

Frank stands there for another few moments, but the customer doesn’t buy anything. Frank figures that out from the groan Gerard makes when the door chimes again.

“That guy looked like he had six different variants of the plague,” Gerard says.

“I think he looked fantastic,” Frank jokes.

“Shut up,” Gerard laughs, and Frank thinks that Gerard may have just gotten closer to him from behind the counter. Obviously there’s still a giant piece of furniture between them, but he’s pretty sure that Gerard is right there.

“I bet you look fantastic too,” Frank says.

“Whatever,” Gerard says. “I can tell you without having to place a bet that you’re fantastic looking.”

“You think that means anything to me?” Frank asks. “I don’t give a shit what I look like. I can’t see me, why should I care?”

“Take it from me then. You look really good.”

“I hate you.”

Gerard chuckles and sighs before saying, “I’ve been thinking a lot about Narcissus lately.”

“Who?”

“Narcissus. He was this arrogant Greek guy who was really just, kind of an asshole. I mean, not in the charming sense like you, because hey Frank, you are a bit of a charming asshole.”

“I appreciate it,” Frank nods.

“Well anyway, Narcissus saw his reflection in a pool one day, and he fell in love with himself because he was divinely attractive. So this douchebag falls in love with his own reflection, and the dude realizes that the guy he’d fallen in love with, himself, couldn’t like, love him back. So he got really angry at the gods or whatever, because they were the same person, and he’d never seen anyone else as perfect as himself, so the brawd killed himself,” Gerard says.

“Fascinating. Why am I getting a lesson in Greek mythology?”

“Well I see it like this, okay? Frank, you’re a fucking good looking guy. Like you are, really. You’re ungodly attractive. So maybe this whole blindness thing was a cautionary tale to make sure you stayed selfless. Because, really you are a sight to see, and maybe the fact that you’re blind was so that you couldn’t fall in love with your own reflection like Narcissus did,” Gerard explains.

Frank smirks slightly, “that’s a nice theory and all, but it wasn’t some big thunder god in the sky that made me blind. It was a homeless guy who couldn’t pay for his bread without stealing cash off a couple of preteens. Nothing holy about it. Plus this guy Narcissus, he was a flaming narcissist, I’m assuming that’s where the word comes from. I’m not great, so what is there to fall in love with about me?”

“You have no idea how long the answer to that question is. If you want a list of all the amazing things about you, I’ll have it done by Christmas. Of 2045.”

"I'll be waiting for that," Frank says with a smirk.

"Did you just hint at the fact that you just might be considering keeping me around?" Gerard asks with a smirk on his face as well.

"Considering," Frank smiles while blushing. He ducks his head down so Gerard can't see him, but he's sure he was too late by the chuckle Gerard lets out.

Gerard leans forward but backs away quickly when the bell chimes. Frank follows the sound while trying to hide his blush with his hair. Frank could feel how close Gerard was moments before and he wants to feel what was coming next so badly.

"Hey guys!" a voice shouts and Frank freezes. This has to be a conspiracy.

"What are you two doing here?" Gerard asks.

"We just wanted to see our big brother," Mikey answers.

"He is not my brother," Gerard snaps, pointing at Brendon accusingly.

"Awe, come on! Don't be like that G-Man," Brendon says with his arms outstretched and smiling.

"What are you guys doing here?" Frank finally speaks.

"We'll only be here for a couple of minutes. Don't worry. We won't ruin your date."

"This isn't a date, Mikey."

"Hey, I'm just calling it how I see it."

"And how exactly do you see it, Mikey?" Frank asks.

"As a date. You two were pretty close just now too."

"Oh shut up, Mikey," Gerard says noting how upset Frank is becoming.

"If it's a date you two are extremely rude for ruining it," Frank says and everyone stops talking to look at him in complete and utter shock.

"This could be a date, Frankie?" Gerard asks hopefully.

"Could be, if there weren't pests around acting like 13 year old pansies," Frank spits.

“Oh Brendon, I think we spoiled a moment,” Mikey says.

“That’s precisely what I’m talking about. If this were a date, and I’m saying this hypothetically, because the last person I’d ever date is Gerard-”

“Hey!”

“Fine. The last person I’d ever date is Mikey,” Frank corrects.

“Fair enough,” Mikey says.

“What I’m saying is that, if this were a date, hypothetically, don’t you think it’d be a lot less romantic if maybe, I don’t know, someone’s brother happened to interrupt?”

“He’s right Mikey,” Brendon says, “it’s super awkward that you’re here.”

“Go away, Brendon,” Gerard says.

“So that you two can start kissing?”

“Why-” Frank starts and then groans, “ugh. Why does everyone just assume I like him? Do I give off, like a flamboyantly homosexual vibe or something?”

“Well you don’t come across as straight if that’s what you’re asking,” Brendon replies.

“That doesn’t mean I like Mikey’s brother!” Frank says.

“I’m right here, you know,” Gerard reminds him.

“That doesn’t mean you’re not totally into my brother.”

“But that doesn’t mean I am.”

“But it doesn’t mean you aren’t.”

“I don’t even know what you two are arguing about,” Brendon says, “but I do know one thing, and that’s the fact that Gerard’s giving me a death glare.”

“I’ve seen that glare. He’ll give you the same look if you try to take the last slice of pizza too,” Mikey says.

Frank turns and wishes he could see whatever infamous glare Gerard is giving Brendon, but he can’t. He can’t even picture Gerard’s face to put any expression, any expression at all, on. He has no fucking idea what Gerard looks like. He also doesn’t know what Mikey or Brendon look like.

“Maybe we should go, Mikey,” Brendon says, “Frank is never going to kiss Gee if we’re here.”

“I am not going to kiss anyone!” Frank exclaims.

“Yeah right, Frank,” Mikey says, snickering.

“I’m not going to kiss you,” Frank says, turning to look at Gerard as Mikey and Brendon exit the store laughing like they’re sharing some inside joke.

“I didn’t expect you to.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Depends,” Gerard says.

“What do they look like?”

“Mikey and Brendon?”

“No, Thelma and Louise,” Frank says sarcastically.

“Um, uh. Well, Mikey is an ugly toad who looks like he was run over repeatedly by a truck,” Gerard says.

“Okay, is this Mikey’s brother speaking or a grown adult?”

“Alright fine,” Gerard says, his voice sounding like he’s rolling his eyes, “Mikey and I, I think we have the same nose. Same eyes, that’s for sure. Other than that I don’t know what to tell you, why can’t you just feel his face like you did mine?”

Frank doesn’t have a response to that. Telling Gerard the truth would just lead him into thinking Frank really does have the hots for him. Frank just really wanted to know what Gerard looked like a week ago, because he just knows Gerard is bound to be attractive.

“How about Brendon?”

“Brendon,” Gerard repeats, thinking, “Well Brendon has this massive forehead. You could land a plane on that forehead. His forehead is gigantic. His mouth is pretty big too. His head is an odd shape, kind of long and square almost. He’s not unattractive I guess, but he’s been my little brothers annoying friend for more years than I can count.”

Frank makes a 'hm' sound and nods. He listens intently as he hears a clock ticking somewhere off in the distance. It's so quiet he's sure he can hear Gerard's rapid heartbeat. Frank swallows and clears his throat.

"Uh, what time do you go on lunch break?" Frank asks Gerard quietly.

"In about another hour."

"Oh," Frank whispers. "Maybe you could read me a comic in between costumers."

Gerard smiles brightly and nods at Frank, "I'd love to do that Frankie. Your choice."

"I think I'd like the second edition of Daredevil."

"Okay. Let's go find it."

"Lead the way, comic boy," Frank says with a smile, and Gerard's insides burst with happiness at seeing Frank smiling so sweetly.