These Eyes Are Blind

Frank never thought this was the way things with Gerard were going to turn out. Frank never thought he'd be his boyfriend and he never thought he'd be laying in his room on his bed next to him. Frank never thought he wouldn't want to fight Gerard off. Frank never thought he wouldn't want to let go.

Gerard runs his fingers through Frank's hair lightly and looks down at Frank already looking up at him. His eyes are bright from the sunlight and it makes them look even more badass than before. Gerard leans forward and pecks Frank on the lips.

Frank grins and ducks his head into Gerard's neck. He's so bashful with him all of a sudden. It's as if putting a label to them made everything more real. It's basically Frank admitting that he has feelings for Gerard. This is a huge thing for Frank to take in.

Gerard moves his hand to the bottom of Frank's back and sways it back and forth soothingly. Frank sighs into Gerard's neck and sends shivers coursing through Gerard. Frank notices but only smiles to himself instead of teasing Gerard about it. Frank wouldn't want anyone to tease him.

"So can I brag about you being my boyfriend?" Gerard asks.

"You most certainly cannot. Just let people think whatever they want to think."

"What happens if I kiss you in front of them? What would you do?"

"Fight to keep my knees from collapsing while I kiss you back."

“I think that would kind of give it away,” Gerard says.

“Just don’t carry a big sign and a bullhorn, okay?” Frank asks.

“Okay, but can I proposition this-”

“No.”

“You didn’t even let me talk,” Gerard says, laughing. He falls to his side, still looking down at Frank, who’s looking up like he’s focused on the ceiling rather than him.

“Alright fine. Go ahead.”

“Thank you. Can I brag that you’re my boyfriend to people who aren’t Mikey or your friends?”

Frank bites his lip for a second, stopping himself from correcting Gerard’s use of the word ‘friends.’ He’s still not so sure he’s ready to take that on yet. That’s a huge thing for him. If letting Gerard call him his boyfriend isn’t already big enough, than calling the people he sits with at lunch certainly is. One step at a time will just have to work for right now.

Frank decides not to correct Gerard however, when he says, “Well what good would it do if they don’t even know me? They don’t even know about my charming personality and fantastic ass.”

“Yes, but I can enthuse to them that you are the cutest person I’ve ever met.”

“I’m not a trophy,” Frank says.

“No, but I’m allowed to be happy that you like me, aren’t I? I feel like that’s the point. God, though, if some of my older friends knew I was dating a guy from high school, they probably wouldn’t believe it.”

“Why?” Frank asks, “What’s so wrong with me being in high school?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean that high school was a really awful experience for me. It was just complete and total hell. I basically swore I’d never have anything to do with it again, including people. I tried to get rid of Mikey but he’s hard to suffocate in his sleep like I’d wanted to. He’s very restless. Almost kicked my tooth out,” Gerard says, and Frank whacks him in the arm, making Gerard laugh again. “Okay, so maybe I’m joking on the murdering Mikey front, but my point is that, never in a million years did I ever think I would willingly go back to that school, even to the parking lot. I’ll take inconvenient routes so that I don’t even have to drive by it, but I’d go back every day for the rest of my life just to see you.”

“Okay, let’s hope I’m not in high school for that long.”

“You know that’s not my point,” Gerard replies.

Frank shrugs, and turns his head to Gerard, “I guess you can brag about me, but under one condition.”

“And what’s that?”

“Would you maybe skip over the part where I’m blind?”

Gerard nods, but then remembers that Frank can’t see it. He puts his head against Frank’s shoulder and nods again before kissing Frank under his jaw.

“Oh!” Frank says, “And also mention that I have a great ass.”

Gerard snorts, and lifts his head up to look down at Frank, who looks proud of himself.

“Seriously?” Gerard asks, “That’s what you want people to know about you?”

“Absolutely.”

Frank hears the sound of the front door opening a moment later, and he has a few thoughts all at once. The first one is that he really wants Gerard to kiss his jaw again. The second is that it’s not even weird at this point for Gerard to be here before his mom gets home. She’s actually been getting home later because Gerard always seems to be with Frank nowadays. His third thought is that he already knows what Gerard is about to say.

“Can I tell her?” Gerard asks, totally proving a point in Frank’s head.

“No!”

“Aw, Frank. That was really more of a formality than a question. You do realize she knows already, right?”

“She what?” Frank asks, “You told her?”

“I didn’t tell your mom anything. She just knows you better than you know you.”

“You’re not telling her though.”

“Oh she’ll figure it out,” Gerard says nonchalantly.

"Well as long as you don't tell her. I can practically feel the way she beams when I'm with you. It's like she's falling in love with the thought of my happiness."

"Of course she is, Frankie. You're her son. She wants you to be happy."

"I know. I want her to be happy too. I wish I could give her more than a blind kid to look after," Frank sighs and closes his eyes.

Gerard caresses Frank's jawline. "Don't say that Frankie. Your mother loves you. She doesn't mind making sure you're well taken care of."

"How do you know?"

"The same way she's going to know about us. Intuition," Gerard leans down and kisses Frank's nose.

"Are you here, Frankie?" Frank's mother shouts from the hallway.

"Yes mom!" Frank replies and smiles when he hears his mother turning on the bath water.

"Long day. I just want to soak. Is Gerard here too?"

"Yes, Ms. I."

"Hi Gerard! Take care of my boy for me while I get some me time."

"I surely will," Gerard yells out and then Frank hears the bathroom door closing.

"See? She could never have that when I'm here by myself unless I'm sleeping, and by then she's too tired. She's always on edge that something's going to happen to me. She trusts you a lot."

"I'm glad she does. Do you trust me?" Gerard asks quietly.

"It's too soon to tell," Frank says.

"I think you do to a certain extent."

"How so?" Frank asks.

"I think you trust that I won't let anything happen to you, but you don't trust that I won't hurt you."

"I don't trust anyone."

"So I'm just anyone?" Gerard asks with a raised brow. He's looking down at Frank and Frank's looking out into the distance.

"No. I didn't say that. I just mean... look, you mean something. I just don't know what yet. But I don't fully trust you either."

“Do you think you ever will trust me?” Gerard asks.

“Like I said, it’s too soon to tell.”

“That’s not the answer to my question. I’m asking for a guess here, not a certainty.”

“Ugh, I mean, I guess it’s possible,” Frank replies, “but don’t quote me on that.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Gerard replies.

“How long do you think it’s going to take her to figure it out?”

“With that expression on your face? Maybe a second.”

“What?” Frank asks, “What expression do I have?”

Gerard grins at him, “it’s cute. You look cute. I like it.”

“What do I look like? Gerard, it’s really mean to not tell the blind guy what he looks like, okay? I will smack you. Don’t you dare think I’m above that.”

“You just look really happy. I mean to say that the last few weeks you haven’t looked very happy, and that’s my fault, but you look really happy right now.”

“That’s your fault as well,” Frank says.

“Saying that I make you happy is not an insult, Frankie.”

“Maybe I wasn’t trying to insult you,” Frank responds.

Gerard grins widely, “You were complimenting me?”

“Don’t act so surprised. I have more settings than just to wildly throw out disses at people.”

“Well yeah. Sometimes you’re sarcastic.”

“Shut up,” Frank says.

“Make me.”

Frank thinks for a moment, because there’s literally no way on this planet for anyone to ever say those two words together without it being extremely sexual, and this situation is no different. It really isn’t. Frank knows Gerard’s intent was probably along those very lines, but he’s not kidding anyone.

Frank takes one of his hands and lifts it up to feel for the side of Gerard’s head, hoping not to poke him in the eye. Once he establishes where Gerard is, it’s easy to figure out where he’s meant to aim when he leans over to kiss him. Frank is aware that literally everyone he knows can find a foreign object without any cause for struggle at all, but he’s still kind of proud of himself when he doesn’t accidentally kiss Gerard’s nose or something.

So far this new town has surprised Frank way more times than he could possibly count. For one thing, he was adamant not to make any friends or to hang out with people regularly other than to use them for transportation reasons. He also told himself that he wouldn’t socialize with anyone from this town outside of school hours, and that was one of his strictest guidelines that he made for himself. He absolutely was not supposed to kiss anyone at all whatsoever. That was so far out of the realm of possibility though, that Frank hadn’t even bothered to list it as one of his rules for the new town.

Frank has thus broken every single one of his rules. He hangs out with people from his school for reasons other than transportation. He actually engages in conversations at the lunch table. He socializes with people outside of school hours, most especially Gerard, but he’s hung out with Mikey and the others at the mall a couple of times too. They usually ditched him to get him and Gerard alone. He has definitely broken the rule that he didn’t even bother making, because he’s kissed Gerard already at least a dozen times. He really can’t help it. He could if he really wanted to but the problem is that Frank neither wants to, nor really wants to. In fact, he really does want to kiss Gerard. This has all completely undermined the guidelines he made for himself, and the biggest problem with that is that Frank doesn’t fucking care.

He just doesn’t. He doesn’t care in the least that he’s broken his rules. He tells himself that he should care, and he tells himself that he really should be ashamed, but he isn’t. He’s too busy being happy. Like, actually happy. Not the happy you get when you watch a funny movie or someone makes a particularly impressive pun. He’s happy like he’s enjoying life. Frank hasn’t enjoyed life since he used to stare out the window and watch cars drive down the street. He hasn’t been happy since he used to know what color those cars were. He hasn’t been happy since he could watch the TV and identify characters by their face rather than their voice.

He is happy though, and that’s something he’s trying not to get too caught up on. He knows that if he thinks about it too much he might ruin it, and he’s too busy basking in the fact that his smile is real to even so much as consider ruining it. Right now, and for as long as he can, he’s just got to keep that up without questioning things.

Gerard’s making him happy. Mikey’s making him happy. Patrick, Brendon, and even Pete with his fucking pizza addiction is making him happy.

“No number of times I tell you that you have a beautiful smile will ever be enough to get across to you how fucking perfect it is,” Gerard says.

“You’re a dork and I hate you,” Frank replies.

“I love your terms of endearment,” Gerard says, “I never thought I’d get shivers when someone called me comic boy, but here you are.”

“Well comic boy, I hope you have plans for tonight because there is no way in hell we’re just going to sit here for the rest of the day while I make a list of the reasons why you’re such a dork. Reason one, you know more about the X-Men than you do about the moon landing.”

“I don’t see why it’s important that I be able to name all the people who went to the moon when I can just as easily spend my time learning the names of X-Men,” Gerard says. “And I did have an idea, thank you for asking.”

“And what’s this idea? I’m going to have to sign off on it,” Frank replies.

“Oh I think you’ll like this idea.”

“What is it? You’ve got me waiting on pins and needles here.”

"I was thinking of taking you out. Maybe we can consider this our first date."

"Slow down there pretty boy..."

"How would you know I'm pretty?" Gerard asks.

"I can feel it. Anyway, where do you want to take me?"

"I want to take you to listen to some live music. A show if you will. Would you like that?"

Frank's smile can't possibly get any bigger at the idea. Music is the one thing in Frank's life that he's always loved. He still loves it to this day and he wishes he could play it.

"I would love that actually."

Gerard smiles back at Frank and sighs. He's so happy he can make Frank feel the way he does.

“I’d love to say I told you so, but I’m afraid that you’ll groan at me.”

Frank groans, “Too late.”

“Whoops.”

“Well, I can’t very well go out with you when I’m dressed like this, now can I?” Frank says gesturing to his clothes, which he can’t even see for himself.

“You look great! What’re you talking about?”

“Great? I want to look hot, Gerard. I want to look hot enough that people stop and stare at me to the point that it makes you the slightest bit jealous so you never move your arm from around me.”

“That’s a specific look,” Gerard notes.

“Yes,” Frank replies, sitting up. “But I can’t see, so you’re going to half to manufacture an outfit for me.”

“Oh so you just expect me to do that for you? You want me to be jealous, and you want me to be the one who picks the clothes out to make me that way? Frank, you’re pushing things a little.”

“Except we both know you’ll do it.”

Gerard rolls his eyes at Frank and sighs, sitting up to look at Frank beside him. Frank’s not wrong. He would literally do anything the guy asked of him, but he doesn’t know at what point Frank figured out that he’s got Gerard wrapped around his finger.

“You know me too well,” Gerard states, standing up and walking over to Frank’s dresser and starting to look through the drawers. He’s not sure exactly what he’s looking for, but he’s got somewhat of an idea about what Frank wants.

The time it takes him to find something for Frank to wear isn't long at all. The time it takes Frank to wash doesn't take long either. Just a few splashes of water here and there after Franks’ mother gets out of the bathroom. Gerard tries but fails miserably and epically at convincing Frank to let him help in the bathroom. There is no way Gerard will be getting a sneak peak off of him.

Frank's sitting on his bed in his jeans when Gerard enters his room. Frank's head and eyes instantly snap in Gerard's direction and that does something to Gerard. The fact that he’s completely quiet and Frank still knows he’s there is a bit of a weird turn on for him. It's like the way people get hot because of how someone looks at them. Well Gerard loves the fact that Frank's so in tune with his hearing that he just knows, which is a good thing since they're going to hear music.

Gerard walks closer to Frank and is down on his knees before him in seconds. It's so obvious that Frank finds this position awkward by the way he moves back just a little. It's not like Gerard hasn't done it before, it's just this time is totally unexpected, and not to mention, Frank being shirtless. Gerard can't deal with Frank being shirtless.

Gerard leans forward and takes Frank's shoe laces and starts tying them up. Gerard hears Frank breathe a sigh of relief and smiles. Frank's so cute when he's like this. Gerard's eyes roam up and land on Frank's uncovered torso. It's not like Gerard hasn't seen boys without their shirts before, it's just that this is Frank without his shirt.

So forgive Gerard if his breathing has shifted a little, and it has. Don't fault him for thinking that Frank's skin looks smooth and he wants to touch him. It's not Gerard's fault that everything about Frank is breathtaking. It's certainly not his fault when his eyes roam up a little further to see Frank looking down in his direction. It's all Frank's fault that he stops breathing right then and there.

If Frank could see, he'd see Gerard's sharp intake of breath. Frank would see Gerard messing up his shoe lace. In fact, Gerard's pretty certain he just made a balloon animal out of his laces. That's not even possible of course, until you see a shirtless Frank. Shirtless Frank makes anything possible... like death.

Gerard's wrestling with the string now and he's glad for once that Frank can't see. Gerard looks like an idiot stretching and pulling the string to untangle it. Gerard pulls rather hard and Frank jumps.

"I usually don't wear them that tight you know?"

"S-sorry. I'm sorry," Gerard rushes out his apologies.

"Are you okay?" Frank asks, uncertainly.

"Y-yeah. Why do you ask?" Gerard tries but fails miserably at hiding the shake in his voice.

"Well, for one, you're trying to amputate my foot. I thought we were closer than that," Frank chuckles at his own joke.

"Frankie..."

"Let me finish," Frank hears Gerard sigh and takes that as the go ahead to continue talking. "You're voice is shaky and breathy. You're stuttering like it's a part of you. So what's up?"

Gerard remains quiet as he keeps working on the shoe lace. He gets it untangled and ties it perfectly this time. "It's nothing. I was just thinking."

"You want me to trust you, yet here you are lying to me already."

"Hey! I'm not lying. I really was thinking."

"About what then?"

"This is the one time I'm going to keep my thoughts to myself. Thank you."

Gerard ties Frank's other lace and stands up.

"Come on, comic boy. What is it?" Frank's now looking where he thinks Gerard's eyes are. He can just barely see the red because it's fairly dark in the room now. Frank can still see it though, and he doesn't have the tint of his glasses right now.

That's another thing Frank never thought would happen. Frank doesn't mind his eyes, but he knows it makes people uncomfortable, therefore making him self-conscious about them. Here he is though sitting in front of Gerard without his guard up and willingly so. It's refreshing to be able to take those things off more than just at bedtime when Gerard's around. It makes Frank happy that there's someone besides his mom that doesn't find his eyes scary or creepy.

"You're just... shirtless," Gerard admits.

Frank raises a brow at Gerard and then smirks, "Oh." Frank chuckles and turns to locate his shirt. "Sorry about that."

"Please don't be," Gerard says as his eyes trail over Frank's body one last time before Frank's pulling his shirt over his head. Just like that Frank's bare chest is gone and Gerard can sort of breathe again.

Frank stands up and walks over to his dresser. He looks in the mirror as if he can see and starts fluffing his hair. Gerard's watching him through the mirror and laughs when Frank does a pout.

"You're a hoot you know that?"

"You're the first to tell me that," Frank laughs and removes his hands from his hair. "I just remember seeing girls do that in movies before a hot date."

"So you do consider this a date and me to be hot?"

Frank calculates his movements as he moves his hand across his dresser. Gerard's watching and he smiles when Frank grabs his chap stick. The boy is really good at locating stuff and getting around. For a moment Gerard doesn't understand Frank's mother's concern. Then it dawns on him that it's her son so she's always going to be concerned.

Frank takes the cap off his chap stick and runs it across his bottom lip first. "Well I guess we can call it a date since you're my boyfriend now." Frank stops talking to apply chap stick to his top lip. "And..." Frank hesitates, "I feel hot when I'm around you so you must be hot right?" Frank puts the cap back on his chap stick and puts it back in its proper place.

"Really now?" Gerard asks with interest.

Frank turns around and leans against his dresser, "Don't tell me you don't feel hot when you're with me." Frank smiles at Gerard, making him laugh.

Gerard walks over to Frank and puts his arms around Frank's waist. "You are the guy whose shoelaces I just tangled because I got lost staring, right?"

Frank laughs and nods, "I think so." Frank wraps his arms around Gerard's neck and lifts up on his toes a bit. "Meet me halfway and tell me if I kiss like that guy."

"Yeah?" Gerard moves forward as Frank leans up.

"Yeah," Frank nods and then his lips are connecting with Gerard's.

Frank isn't sure how long he's been wrapped tightly in Gerard's arms, against the dresser, but he knows he doesn't mind. Gerard's kissing him so sweetly but passionately. His hands are gripping Frank's sides so tightly and Frank's hands are in Gerard's hair. If that's not enough, Frank is now sitting on his dresser thanks to Gerard picking him up and placing him there.

Gerard's so far gone he almost forgets about them going out. Reluctantly, he pulls away and stares at Frank's lips. Gerard can't help but to lean forward and kiss Frank again. He nips at Frank's bottom lip and tugs on it lightly. Frank lets out a shuddery moan. Gerard smirks and pulls away again. He runs his hands back and forth across Frank's thighs.

"We should get going, Frankie."

“Yeah, we should.”

“No need to sound so sad all of a sudden,” Gerard replies.

“I’m not sad!” Frank insists, hopping off the dresser.

“No, of course not,” Gerard says, “I kind of want to stay here a little while longer too, Frankie. If we do, then we’ll end up never leaving though.”

“You’re right,” Frank sighs, “how do I look?”

Gerard’s about to say that Frank looks cute, but he knows that’s not the word that Frank wants from him. Gerard’s not usually the kind of person who describes people with the word ‘hot’ though, so he has to think for a moment before he responds.

“Sexy.”

“Great,” Frank says, “I’d return the compliment, but it wouldn’t mean much coming from me.”

Gerard smiles, and places his arm back around Frank’s waist where he likes it. Frank’s decidedly not a fan of having people put their arm around his shoulder, something about it being uncomfortable, but he really likes an arm around his middle. He’s always in favor of that.

The two of them walk out of Frank’s room, and Frank hears the sound of the TV in the living room. He has a flash of a thought that he should push Gerard off of him, but he knows he’s not fooling anybody. His mother really is smarter than that. She will know. Just like she always knows what’s going on in Frank’s head.

“Hello boys. Are you going out?”

“Yes we are,” Gerard responds. “I’m taking Frankie to go hear some live music.”

“Oh, I bet he’ll like that.”

“Can we stop acting like I’m not even in the room?” Frank asks.

“Do you know when you’ll be back?” Frank’s mother asks, disregarding Frank’s question.

“I imagine we might be kind of late. I promise he’ll get home tonight, but I don’t know when.”

“Alright, just bring him back in one piece.”

“Well I guess that sort of ruins Gerard’s plans to rip my arm off,” Frank shrugs.

“Very funny, Frank,” Gerard says, pulling him towards the door.

“Bye mom,” Frank says, before he’s rushed out the door.

“She totally knows,” Gerard notes. Frank can’t deny that she probably does. His face is very bad at hiding these sorts of things. Frank’s face is extremely transparent.

“She does, doesn’t she? Ugh, my mom knows I have a boyfriend,” Frank frowns.

“Yeah, but I’ve met your boyfriend, he’s nice.”

Frank smirks, “he’s a total dork.”

“I don’t see that as an insult, I’ll have you know. I love being a dork. You’re a dork too, you know,” Gerard replies.

“But which one of us works in a comic book store?”

Gerard opens Frank’s door for him, and lets Frank sit down, before he closes it and runs around to his side of the car.

“You make a valid point, Frank,” Gerard says when he takes his seat.

Frank smiles to himself and says, “I know.”

He patiently waits in his seat for Gerard to get his seat belt. He’s pretty sure that his favorite moments are when Gerard leans over and buckles him in. Gerard’s arm stretches across him a moment later, and Frank hears the sound of the seat belt being pulled and then the click of it. He feels Gerard’s breath against his face again, and he remembers the last time that this happened. The last time Gerard did this, Frank had his first kiss. It was only a few hours ago, but already Frank feels like it’s a distant memory. It’s probably one of the best memories he has. He can’t think of any one that’s better than that one right now at least.

Gerard’s nose nudges against his for a moment before he’s kissing Frank again, very briefly. He pulls away not long after, and Frank can’t stop himself from wishing it had gone on for longer. It’s hard not to long for Gerard, even despite how much Frank tries to push those feelings down. He likes him. Frank really likes him. He can’t help that anymore. He can barely even pretend anymore.

Gerard does the same routine that he always does. Frank listens as Gerard puts his keys into the ignition and turns the car on. Then he's listening to the click of his belt and then the radio is the next thing he hears. Gerard instantly starts drumming his fingers on the staring wheel because a song he really likes is on. Frank wishes he could see him. The next thing he hears is Gerard's voice filling the car as he belts out the lyrics. Frank will never get tired of hearing Gerard sing.

"Who needs music when my boyfriend can serenade me instead?"

Gerard looks over at Frank and sings in his face. "Before I close the door I need to hear you say goodbye. Baby won't you change your mind?"

Frank laughs and it's music to Gerard's ears. Gerard pulls the car out of the driveway and they’re off to add some to Frank's.