These Eyes Are Blind

“Frank?”

Frank twitches a little in his sleep, not moving because he’s not aware that he is asleep. He should be, given that he’s looking at dolphins which is impossible given that Frank can’t look at anything. Sometimes though he gets those good dreams where he gets to see things, and this is one of those such dreams.

“Frank,” the voice says again, and he knows that they’re whispering. He doesn’t want to bring himself to a point where he can be classified as ‘conscious’, but he is at least aware now that he’s not asleep. He’s in that fuzzy state between rolling around to fix whatever uncomfortable position you’re in, and just going back to bed.

“Frankie?” they say again, quietly, and Frank realizes this time that it’s Gerard’s voice. He smiles at that, because Gerard is probably the one and only person who could wake him up from a dream where he actually got to see something, and it’s okay. If it were someone else, Frank would sock them in the nose.

“Frankie,” Gerard says again, and Frank sighs. He’d be content to just lie here forever and have Gerard whisper his name in his ear like that. He’s also aware of the fact that he’s the most comfortable he can ever remember being. Gerard’s chest is pressed against his back, with his arms wrapped around Frank’s torso, and he’s not sure that he’s not in heaven. That seems more likely than the actuality that he’s this comfortable with someone as amazing as Gerard. Things like this just don’t happen to him ever. Yet here he is.

“Can’t you tell that I’m asleep?” Frank asks.

“I can, but I just... like you’re really cute, and I didn’t know how to move without waking you, but I gotta pee.”

Frank laughs lightly to himself, but he doesn’t want Gerard to get up because that would mean that his warmth would go with him, and Frank really wants Gerard’s body heat. He just wants it right there with him wherever he goes to the end of time.

“What time is it?” Frank asks.

“It’s about eight in the morning,” Gerard says, and Frank nods. He should probably be concerned with his mother’s reaction over the fact that Gerard slept over, but he doubts she’s going to be all that angry about it. Nothing happened, Gerard just fell asleep.

“I don’t want you to go,” Frank says honestly.

“Just gimme a minute, okay? I’ll be right back.”

“Ugh, fine,” Frank sighs, feeling Gerard wiggle around behind him until he’s gone. Frank can hear footsteps, a door opening, and then the sound of his mother moving around in the kitchen when Gerard leaves his door slightly ajar.

Frank wishes Gerard were back here now. He wishes that he would come back and hold Frank the same way as before.

He still hasn’t opened his eyes, but he doesn’t really need to. He already knows what he’ll see and that’s okay, he supposes. He’s used to it by now, but everyday seems to be the same. He still feels his heart beat a little bit faster the seconds before his eyes open, because maybe this time, he’ll see. Maybe this time when his eyes blink open he’ll see the popcorn ceiling or the green walls. Maybe he’ll squint at the sunlight from the window in his face.

When Frank blinks open his eyes he sees none of those things. What he does see is a big expanse of black. There’s some light in the corner of his eyes, and when he moves his head a little bit, he can tell that he’s facing a light, but he’s pretty sure it’s not the window.

“Hi, sorry, I’m back,” Gerard says, closing the door behind him as he walks up and lies back down next to Frank. It’s not as comfortable as it had been last time, but Frank welcomes him gladly anyway. He just wants to be close to Gerard.

Frank turns himself around and he looks at the spot where he assumes Gerard’s head is, smiling lightly.

“Good morning,” Frank says.

“Oh yeah, right. Morning!” Gerard replies.

“If you just woke up, why does your breath smell like mint?” Frank asks.

“I may have taken a swig of mouthwash.”

Frank wishes he could roll his eyes, but he instead settles on burying his head in Gerard’s shoulder.

“Is that weird?” Gerard asks, “It wasn’t because I planned on sticking my tongue in your mouth, I mean, that was one of a few reasons. I just didn’t want you to think less of me because my breath was bad.”

“You’re just cute,” Frank says.

“Oh okay. Well cute is good. There are worse things than being cute.”

Frank hears his mother knock on the door a moment later, and he feels a little panicked that she might be angry until he hears her. “Frank, are either of you hungry? Do you want breakfast?”

Frank thinks, and he’s not sure if he’s hungry or not.

“I want coffee,” He groans to Gerard, but he’s not overly hungry.

“Me too,” Gerard says. “Do you want to go out and get coffee? I’m buying.”

“I know you are, we have a deal, remember?” Frank says.

“Right, yeah.”

Frank turns his attention back to his mom and shouts back, “I think we’re good!”

"Okay. Are you going to lounge about or are you two going out?"

"We're gonna go out mom," Frank admits and he can practically hear the smile in her voice when she responds and walks away. Frank sighs and snuggles into Gerard some more. "I should probably wash and things like that."

"That's not fair, then I'll be the only one wearing my clothes from the day before and club scent."

"So you want me to wear the same thing, or we can swing by your place. Or you could go get ready at your place while I wash and get ready. Then that would mean you'd have to leave, and I don't want you to leave. You have to tie my shoes and get all bothered over me."

Gerard chuckles and places his hand on Frank's cheek, "Slow down. One plan at a time cutie."

“I’m just presenting you with all of the options, and telling you that if you leave now, even if it’s only for an hour, I’ll never forgive you.”

“Just for showering and changing my clothes?”

“Yes,” Frank nods, “precisely. If you leave I’ll be forced into detesting you, and you’ll make my list of people whose toes will not remain attached to their feet.”

“All just for going home to take a shower? I’ll let you get ready, and then we can swing by my place, okay?” Gerard asks, “Anything that means you won’t hate me forever.”

“I’ll probably hate you forever anyway, you know,” Frank says, and he reluctantly pulls himself up.

“I guessed as much. What do you want to do today then?”

“Right now, all I can focus on is coffee,” Frank says, “you stay there, okay? I’m gonna take a shower.”

“And just leave me here all by myself?” Gerard asks.

“You’ll live,” Frank shrugs, walking up to go to his dresser. He randomly grabs the first of each item of clothing, hoping that they match well enough.

“No I won’t, I’ll just stop breathing.”

“You’re very dramatic,” Frank replies.

“Or I just really like you.”

“Or you’re very dramatic and you really like me. Both of those things are likely.”

Gerard makes a sound, “You’re probably right then. Just don’t be long, I need my coffee.”

“All you care about is coffee,” Frank says dramatically, making his way to the door and closing it. He’s memorized this house enough to get by without his cane. He’s fine as long as his mother doesn’t leave things on the floor, which she wouldn’t knowing how much it messes with Frank.

“And you, I care about you too,” Gerard calls after him. Frank grins, blushing slightly, and walks to the bathroom. He’s glad that he doesn’t have to go through the kitchen to get there because he doesn’t want to face his mother right now. He’s not afraid of her, that’s not it, he’s just afraid of the conversation that would ensue of him trying to deny how much he adores Gerard.

Everything about the shower is relaxing and Frank knows it's because of the night before. He's smiling to himself and taking care to clean everything he needs to while he thinks about the fact that Gerard's waiting for him in his bed. Gerard is in his bed, after their first official date, and sleeping together. Frank never thought he'd be doing any of this, but he is, and he loves it. Frank almost wants to start singing and that's pretty laughable to him.

He doesn't take too long inside of the shower, because each minute he's in there is a minute lost being next to Gerard. So he dresses quickly and realizes that he forgot to put on his deodorant and brush his teeth. He usually brushes his teeth first, but he's obviously not thinking too straight. Frank decides to skip on the deodorant and gets busy with brushing his teeth.

Frank goes back to his room and he hears Gerard humming to himself on the bed.

“You ready to go?” Gerard asks.

“Just hold on a sec,” Frank says finding his deodorant hurriedly before he puts it back. “Okay. Take me away, Gee.”

“Okay,” Gerard says, and Frank hears the bed moving as Gerard pulls himself to his feet. There’s footsteps followed by Gerard putting his arm in the same place as always, around his waist.

“Mikey’s going to be there, isn’t he?” Frank asks.

“Yep. And, in all probability, so will Brendon.”

“Great,” Frank says, “Well, let’s get this done sooner rather than later.”

Gerard chuckles and then he guides Frank out of his room. Frank sighs, and he can feel his mother’s eyes on the two of them.

“Have fun you two!” she calls after them.

“We will!” Gerard says back. Frank sometimes feels like the two of them have been plotting this all without him. This whole time, his own mothers been trying to set him up with Gerard. Everyone’s been trying to set him up with Gerard, really. No one seems to not want them together, and Frank doesn’t know how that happened.

“I’ve never been to your house,” Frank notes.

“That’s because it’s kind of messy,” Gerard says, “You’re going to want to be careful, but I’ll help you.”

"Any reason for you to touch me huh?" Frank smiles and nudges Gerard with his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm that transparent," Gerard chuckles and closes up his jacket while he opens the door. "Let's get going, Frankie."

"Of course," Frank takes his cane from Gerard's hand and begins walking out of the house.

Gerard closes the door and walks behind Frank until he catches up and puts his arm back around Frank.

"Let’s get you into the car. It's a little chillier today."

"Which is why coffee and snuggling with you would be ideal right now," Frank admits and Gerard just chuckles.

“You like me,” Gerard says in a singsong voice, and Frank scoffs, as Gerard opens his door. He slides in and waits until Gerard runs to the other side of the car to respond.

“Yes, Gerard. I like you. That’s kind of why we’re dating. I mean, that’s the point.”

“You don’t sound too sure of yourself there,” Gerard says.

“Well that’s because you tried to tease me for liking you, but that’s the whole point! Gerard, you’re a gigantic dork,” Frank tells him.

“Thank you,” Gerard says, starting the car.

Frank’s still kind of tired without his coffee. He doesn’t function well without some form of caffeine in his system, so most days he’s only half there if he hasn’t had coffee. Right now isn’t one of those days though, because he forces himself to stay completely conscious so that he can hear Gerard’s rather remarkable rendition of every song on the radio. He’s a little choppy in places, but he’s making up the lyrics well enough that Frank sometimes thinks he might’ve gotten them right.

“Every goddamn time,” Frank shakes his head.

“What?” Gerard asks, turning the volume down a little bit for Frank to repeat himself.

“Nothing,” Frank shakes his head, “I just like the way you sing along even though you don’t know a fucking word.”

“It’s the effort that counts,” Gerard says, “and this just isn’t my day, I’m usually better than this.”

“I know,” Frank says, having become well acquainted with Gerard’s vast knowledge of the radio.

“We’re here,” Gerard says, reluctantly turning the music off, which would probably be a mercy to whoever wrote that song based on how Gerard butchered the lyrics.

“Lead the way,” Frank says. He’s almost impressed by how quickly Gerard manages to run around the car. He’s done it enough by now, and it’s adorable each time.

“Okay,” Gerard says, helping Frank up, and instantly letting his hand fall to Frank’s side. “It’s kind of slippery here, so just, hold onto me, okay?”

“Yep,” Frank says, “are there steps?”

“Not on the way to the door, but there are once we’re inside,” Gerard says.

“Great,” Frank groans, “You live on a different floor, don’t you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I just hate steps. They’re always different sizes, and there’s no regulation for how many there are. I just hate steps and all that they stand for.”

“That’s a pretty passionate opinion about stairs you have there,” Gerard says, guiding Frank up a front path of sorts which doesn’t feel overly slippery to him, but he can’t see around him so he’s not really the best judge.

“You have no idea how hard they can be on me,” Frank says, “I have fallen down more flights of stairs than you would believe. Actually, let me correct myself, sorry, I have been pushed down many more flights of stairs than you would believe.”

“I would break the nose of anyone who pushed you down the stairs,” Gerard tells him.

“I’m not sure how much of a help that is now, given that all the people who used to push me down stairs live hundreds of miles away.”

“Well I hate them anyway,” Gerard says, reaching the front door. Frank knows that because they stop and he can hear Gerard messing with a ring of keys which are jingling against each other. There’s the sound of Gerard turning the door knob and then it opens, and Frank’s being rushed in, away from the cold. It is admittedly colder out today than it had been the last few days.

Frank’s met with a house that smells like Gerard very subtly. It’s not a bad smell, but it’s new. He’s not used to it, and he can tell he’s in a new place just by the way the air moves around him. The house breathes differently as well, just a different feeling to it.

Gerard tells him that the first floor is clean enough, but he’ll need more help upstairs. Frank expands his cane in front of him anyway, because he doesn’t quite trust Gerard to notice every obstacle.

“Okay, so we’re going to have to go up the stairs now, sorry about that,” Gerard says.

“We’ve already established that I hate you,” Frank shrugs.

“And you’re cute,” Gerard says. “Okay so there’s, hang on I gotta count... there’s twelve steps.”

“Okay,” Frank says, and he lets his cane find the first one for him, and then sizes it up carefully. “Alright, I think I got it.”

“Okay, well we’ll go slowly to make sure you’re okay,” Gerard says.

“I’m not that hopeless, I just hate steps because they’re sadistic bastards.”

“They’re inanimate objects,” Gerard reminds him.

“Sadistic bastards,” Frank corrects, and Gerard decides not to argue with him. Frank makes his way up the stairs slowly, and he’s quietly proud of himself on the landing at the top.

“Were you over exaggerating how much you hate steps or are you just extremely talented?” Gerard asks.

“I’m just talented.”

A voice that doesn’t belong to Gerard says, “Was that Frank?”

Frank is already predicting what’s about to happen when he hears a door open, and then the sound of Brendon and Mikey talking at the same time greets him.

“Gerard you actually stayed over at his house, oh my god!” Mikey is saying, while Brendon says something to the same extent that gets drowned out.

“We just fell asleep,” Gerard says.

“Yeah right, sure. After you did other things,” Brendon says.

“We did not!” Frank insists.

“They totally did,” Mikey says.

“We didn’t!”

“Oh yeah? Then prove it,” Brendon says.

“How could I possibly prove that?”

“Exactly my point,” Brendon says.

“Well we didn’t,” Frank groans.

“I have to take a shower, I’m going to leave you with these two,” Gerard says, and Frank scowls when he feels Gerard take his hand away.

“No, don’t leave me with them!” Frank pleads.

“Oh, we’re not that bad,” Mikey says, putting an arm around Frank, and trying to steer him somewhere while Frank does his best to protest without actually breaking his jaw.

"I would rather just stay in Gerard's room and hide away in his bed."

"I bet you would. What else would you like to do in Gerard's bed?" Brendon teases and Mikey just snorts.

"I think you should evaluate your life if you actually expect me to answer that if I did want to do more than that," Frank says sarcastically, as always.

"Okay, I don't want actual images or anything."

"I'm sure you'd really be missing out if we did any of the things I know you're thinking about. We'd give a great show."

"Okay, ew! That is my brother Frank."

"You don't seem to act like it when you're watching us make out like a little weirdo, incest is wrong on so many levels, but hey... if you get off on watching your brother make out with the most beautiful boy in our whole school, I won't be the one to judge you."

“Jeez Mikey, I never knew you were such a perv,” Brendon says.

“I am not!” Mikey tries to defend himself, but Frank just shrugs. He knows Gerard’s already run off so now he’s stuck with these two.

“So where is Gerard’s room then? Just out of curiosity,” Frank asks.

“Well it’s not going to do either of us much good to go there. He will kill me if I ever go into his room again. Something about not wanting me to find his secret porn stash or something.”

“I’m fairly sure that’s why you told Gerard not to snoop in your room actually,” Brendon says, and Frank snorts. Brendon either has his back right now or he just really likes to pick on Mikey. Possibly both. Probably the latter.

“Shut up, Brendon,” Mikey says, “and the other reason is because you can’t see much of anything, can you, Frank? I mean, if you want to smell his dirty laundry, knock yourself out, but if not, you’re welcome in my room.”

“Not really the Way who I’d ideally have inviting me to their room,” Frank says, following Mikey’s voice anyway with his cane in front of him. The hallway is shaped kind of strangely, with a dramatic bend not too far from the staircase, and Frank’s also got his senses on to watch out for any debris that might be in his way. He’s somehow not surprised to learn that Gerard and Mikey are both messy. That just seems totally on character.

“So how’d he convince you to sleep with him?” Mikey asks.

“We did not... he just fell asleep. Again. That’s what happened. It was just like last time!”

“Mhm, sure buddy,” Brendon says.

“Why was he so eager to shower then?”

Frank just stands dumbfounded in what he assumes is Mikey’s room. “Because it’s a new day and he didn’t want to feel dirty! And we were out at a club last night with lots of sweaty people! You were there, I’m sure you wanted to shower after leaving too.”

“I still say they fucked,” Mikey says to Brendon.

“You two are unbelievable,” Frank exasperates.

“Yeah, so what’re you two going to do today then? Go to Gerard’s room and lock yourself away until tomorrow? Gross, I started thinking about it, ew,” Mikey says before making a gagging sound.

“We were going to get coffee as soon as we showered, thank you very much for asking,” Frank says.

“Oh, coffee. Brendon and I like coffee.”

“You two are not invited!” Frank insists.

“We never said we were. But who knows, a coffee shop is a public place where you could run into anybody. You just never know what two, or maybe four individuals might bump into you at a coffee shop.”

“You wouldn’t,” Frank says, shaking his head, but he’s fairly sure he can already hear Brendon getting out his phone and texting someone. He may have to kill both of them someday.

“I will slap you both in the face with your own arms that I tore off your bodies, just know that, okay,” Frank says.

“What I’m getting from that is that you’re into rough things, Frank. You like it rough, huh?”

“You’re disgusting,” Frank says.

“Ah yes, but I am your future brother in law, so you should be nice to me.”

“What does that make me?” Brendon asks, “Future... I don’t know, but whatever I am, I want it to come with a new T-shirt.”

“You’re an idiot,” Mikey says.

“I wish Gerard were a quicker shower taker,” Frank notes.

“So that you two can play some tonsil tennis?”

“Dude, who says tonsil tennis?”

“I just did,” Mikey defends himself, “is it outdated? I wasn’t informed of this. I don’t receive a monthly newsletter telling me what sayings are in and what’s out.”

“I’ve yet to be convinced he is not six years old,” Brendon says seriously to Frank.

“You’ve known me since I was, like seven Brendon,” Mikey tells him.

“Ah yes, but maybe you lied about your age when we first met. It could happen.”

“We met in class. We were in the same class. We are in the same year. Several years have passed us by, Brendon, it’s safe to say, I am not six.”

“That’s just what they want me to think,” Brendon replies.

“Who is they?” Frank asks.

“The evil clones who stole Mikey and replaced his brain with that of a toddlers.”

“Ah yes, because that’s a thing that can happen.”

“You’re my friend, you’re supposed to support me,” Brendon says.

“I’m not going to support your idiocy,” Mikey replies.

“You two bicker like an old married couple,” Frank says.

"Yeah," Mikey chuckles, "He wishes."

"Oh please, you know you'd want my lips if you were gay," Brendon makes a kissy face at Mikey and Mikey just rolls his eyes.

"Let's just be glad I'm not, yeah?"

"Whatever you say Mikes."

"Hey, one more thing Bren..."

"What is it?"

"If you ever assume that I want your lips again I will fucking murder you where you lay. Got it?"

"I think that's pretty clear."

"If only I could see. I'd kill to watch you murder him," Frank intervenes.

As if they forgot he was in the room for a moment both of the boys look at him. "Sorry for being rude and not offering you a seat. There's actually a bed right next to where you are. On your left side."

“You’re usually rude most days anyway, aren’t you?” Frank asks, taking a seat on the bed beside him.

“I resent that,” Mikey says.

“Good.”

“So did you have fun making out with my brother last night?”

“Yeah, actually. It was a lot of fun,” Frank says.

“If you don’t want to hear the answer Mikey, I would recommend not asking the question,” Brendon says when he makes a face.

“I can give you details too, if you want,” Frank says, “Like, your brother-”

“Please don’t,” Mikey says, “I don’t want to know the specifics.”

“Pete just texted me back and he says he would be happy to help bother Frank with us today,” Brendon announces.

“Oh great,” Frank groans, “Are you inviting Patrick too?”

“Of course I am! He doesn’t have to come but he has to be aware of the opportunity.”

“That seriously infringes on my personal space. Don’t you think I deserve a private life too?” Frank asks, “I mean, you know, he is my boyfriend.”

“Oh god, hearing him say it is gold.”

“You two are literally the most childish people I have ever met.”

“So what if we are? You made out with my brother,” Mikey says.

“I know that,” Frank says, “I was aware of that when said making out occurred. I don’t really care what you think to be completely honest with you.”

Frank hears the sound of the shower cutting off, unaware that he could hear it when it was going. He hopes Gerard will be quick for a few reasons. He wants to get away from Brendon and Mikey, he wants to be with Gerard and he wants his coffee. Mostly he wants to stop having this circular conversation with the two people whose only topic of conversation seems to be the nature of Frank’s relationship. It’s not like this is necessarily very unexpected, given that Mikey is a blood relation of Gerard, but right now he’s really wishing that the one guy who decided to attach himself to Frank wasn’t also the brother of one of his closer acquaintances.

“Is your whole life built around making other people uncomfortable?” Frank asks.

“Yes. Brendon’s life is built around behaving like a stripper,” Mikey says.

“I do not behave... okay maybe a little bit. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Well there’s one reason to be glad for your blindness then, I don’t have to see Brendon attempt to strip,” Frank says.

“Psh, you should be so lucky,” Brendon says.

“Brendon, you’re so arrogant sometimes, I don’t even know why I put up with you anymore,” Mikey says.

“It’s because I have a car and you need me to schlep you around to various places. Without me, you’d be monstrously in debt to Gerard because he’d make you pay him for car rides,” Brendon explains.

“True. He prostitutes out his car.”

“I think a better term to use would be ‘car service’,” Frank says.

“Nope. Gerard prostitutes his car. Unless you’re Frank in which case he’d drive you to Australia if you asked,” Mikey says.

“You can’t get to Australia by car, dumbass.”

“You don’t think I know that? I was illustrating a point!”

“It was a dumb point,” Brendon replies.

“Most of his points are dumb,” Gerard says, finally finishing up and Frank feels himself breathe out easier than he had a moment before.

“You’re an asshole.”

“Thank you,” Gerard says, holding his hand out for Frank, which he can’t obviously see. Frank’s aware of it anyway, and grabs it, allowing Gerard to pull him up and hopefully take him far far away from here. Not that he doesn’t like Mikey, but he’s not really Frank’s ideal choice of company right now.

“You’re just going to run away? Just like that? I thought you liked us, Frank. You’ve hurt my feelings.”

“You’re an idiot if you think I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I strive for it actually.”

“Oh just go make out with your boyfriend,” Brendon says, “Leave me and Mikey here to drown in our own single misery.”

“Speak for yourself, you’re the one who’s single,” Mikey says.

“Your hand doesn’t count, Mikey.”

“Oh fuck off,” Mikey shouts back, and Frank can tell he threw something at Brendon based on the way that Brendon makes an angry noise in response.

“Let’s just leave them while they’re distracted,” Gerard says, tugging on Frank’s arm. He follows without needing any more persuasion.

If Frank hates going up stairs, than there isn’t a word for how much he dislikes going down. He’s found that you’re much more likely to fall when you’re going down, and it hurts a million times more if you do. Gerard goes in front of him though, seeming to read Franks mind, and this prevents Frank from accidentally tripping up and falling down the rest of the steps. It’s actually a lot easier with Gerard there.

“You know that they have every plan to follow us to the mall, right?” Frank asks.

“Yeah, somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.”

“Well we could probably scare them off if you kiss me.”

“Is that you giving me permission?” Gerard asks.

“I guess you could call it that,” Frank replies. Gerard pulls on his jacket before he’s taking Frank back outside.

"I think I know just where to kiss you," Gerard says.

"Yeah? Where do you have in mind?" Frank asks.

"Our favorite spot," Gerard replies nonchalantly.

"Which would happen to be...?" Frank feels Gerard slip his hand into Frank's and Frank smiles. He's glad it's cold cause that way he can blame his red cheeks on the air.

"My car," Gerard says with a knowing smile on his face. "You're so cute." Gerard opens the car door and let's Frank inside. He closes the door quickly and rushes back around to get in on his side. Once he's inside he reaches over for Frank.

"What do you mean I'm so cute?"

"I just love when you blush."

Frank turns a deeper shade of red, "You noticed that?"

"Yeah," Gerard whispers and Frank notices the change in his voice and breathing.

Before he can say anything about it, Gerard kisses him as if he's been waiting to do that all day. Frank’s a go with the flow kind of person when it comes to kissing Gerard. He’s happy about it whenever Gerard decides he wants to kiss Frank, and he’s happy to kiss him back. He’s not necessarily as good as Gerard, not having as much practice, or being able to pick things up from watching other people kiss on TV and stuff, but he likes to think he’s not bad. Gerard’s never said otherwise.

Gerard really likes him though, or at least, Frank’s pretty sure he does based on the number of times Gerard’s told him that. So, even if Frank’s a bad kisser, Gerard probably wouldn’t tell him.

Frank’s pretty used to being the one who stops the kiss, but right now he doesn’t want to. He’s got this thought in the back of his head that he doesn’t know where the windows in Gerard’s house are, so it’s always possible that Mikey and Brendon might be able to see them, but he’s hoping that’s not the case.

Gerard smells like shampoo, and Frank’s never gotten a better idea of what it smells like than he does right now. It’s kind of a potent smell, not bad or good in anyway, but he likes it. He likes knowing that it’s because Gerard’s head is the color of a fire truck that it smells like that.

“Sorry, Frankie,” Gerard says, like kissing Frank is something that needs to be apologized for. “It’s just that no one likes PDA.”

“No, it’s fine,” Frank says, feeling a little frazzled by the exchange.

“Yeah?” Gerard says, “It’s just that I really like kissing you. I really like knowing that you like me. I pushed probably way too hard to be in your life, and it’s nice knowing that it’s paid off some.”

“No, you didn’t push too hard. I’m just stubborn, and we both know that.”

“You’re also pretty cynical, but I like that about you. It was one of the first things that I liked about you.”

“Thank you? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a little cynicism here and there. You need a glass half empty kind of person in your life,” Frank says.

“I don’t think you need to defend yourself. You’re perfect the way that you are,” Gerard says, starting the car and Frank’s got to look into long term cures for blushing. Gerard’s already started up singing to the radio a second after the engine starts. Frank’s falling in love with the sound of his voice.

“You could audition for a singing show,” Frank says, shaking his head at Gerard.

“No, I don’t have a tragic backstory. I mean, I am Mikey’s brother which is tragic enough as it is, but you only ever win those shows if you’re easy to sympathize with.”

“I’m sorry, who’s the cynic here?” Frank asks.

“Oh whatever,” Gerard says, turning the music on louder. Gerard’s house is a lot closer to the mall than Frank’s is, so there’s almost no time for Gerard to even start serenading him before they’re parking.

“Coffee time!”

Frank grins with him, waiting for Gerard to run around like always. He gets quite a bit of exercise just trying to get to Frank’s door before he can open it. It’s like he’s practicing to be a limo service. Mikey was right about him, Frank decides. Except it’s only Frank who he’d open the door for, which makes him feel both special and weird. Gerard’s just a strange person to be around for long amounts of time. Good strange.

“C’mon Frankie,” Gerard says, pulling him to his feet, “I need my coffee!”

“Yeah, alright,” Frank says, letting Gerard pull him through the parking lot into the mall entrance. Frank’s not sure how big it actually is, because he can’t see it, but it’s not a very huge mall. There’s not many stores, and Frank’s really only ever been in two of them, the Starbucks and the comic store.

He likes the atmosphere of the comic store a little better, it smells like books, and it’s always a lot quieter than anywhere else. People don’t seem to spend that much time in it either, so he gets to talk with Gerard longer without being interrupted. They don’t have very many employees that Frank’s noticed, because he would have thought that being there on Gerard’s shift would be against the rules, but no one’s said anything about it.

“You just want a regular coffee then?” Gerard asks, and Frank’s not sure how he got to be standing in the coffee shop when he’s sure a second ago, they had only just entered the mall. He probably just got distracted by his own thoughts. Sometimes it’s a lot harder to keep track of time when you can’t see it. He just has no basis for what time is supposed to feel like relative to what you’re doing.

“Yeah,” Frank nods, wondering if he’s supposed to sit down or not. He can’t tell what seats are empty though, so he’d probably end up really creeping someone out or accidentally feeling someone up. He’s done that more times than he’d really care to admit, so he’ll just wait for Gerard. It’s nice having Gerard there to be his eyes for him. It's also just really nice having Gerard there because then it means he gets to spend time with him.

"That first sip is going to be heaven."

"I beg to differ," Frank says.

"Why?" Gerard asks confusedly.

"Because I do believe your heaven is standing right here and not being forced into a cup."

Gerard smiles at Frank and pushes him a little. Frank giggles and that makes Gerard's smile increase in size. Frank is everything he's been looking for. A breath of fresh air and looking at him smiling back up in his direction is everything Gerard never wants to forget. Gerard will always remember this moment right here and many more to come. There’s something perfect in how simple it is.

"You're right. Coffee doesn't even begin to compare to how you make me feel."

"I almost want to ask you how I make you feel besides already knowing the answer."

"Why is that, Frankie?"

"Because I love to hear you tell me," Frank admits.

"Yeah?" Gerard boldly brings Frank closer to him. Frank doesn't trust his voice so he just nods up at Gerard. "I'll remember that."

"Why don't you tell me right now?" Frank says and then his attention flies to the entrance when he hears familiar voices approaching. "Oh my Goooood." Frank whines and Gerard instantly wants to hit all of the boys; especially his brother.

"I'm sorry, Frankie."

"It's not your fault. I just need to know ahead of time next life that you have an annoying sibling."

"Will do."

"Heyyyyy," Mikey says to his brother with his hands in the air.

"You're a jerk and this is why I would make you walk before letting you into my car," Gerard walks away to go get their coffees.

"Oooooh! Someone’s upset," Pete says.

"Of course he is. We're always causing distress to his little Frankie."

"Shut up, Brendon," Frank intervenes.

“See! Distress,” Brendon says, as if proving a point.

“So, are we getting coffee then?” Pete asks, “Sounds kind of like a date to me. You going to make out later too?”

“It’s possible,” Frank says, groaning and trying to walk away from them, but he doesn’t know where to sit, or in what direction Gerard’s gone.

“Oh my god!” Pete says ecstatically, “so you really are dating then!”

“Why would I have lied to you?” Mikey asks.

“I don’t know, but it’s amazing to see it with my own eyes.”

“You have no idea how much I would give to see it with my own eyes too,” Frank says.

“Come on, Frank,” Gerard says, coming back and handing him a warm paper cup, which Frank gladly accepts. Hopefully getting a little bit of caffeine in his system will help him be able to put up with these guys. Frank’s honestly not sure if Patrick is with them, because he’s not really the teasing type, but it’s possible if Pete’s there. Patrick seems to cling somewhat to Pete, and Frank’s chalked that up to the fact that he’s pretty shy.

“Are you here to lead me to the gates of hell?” Frank asks, “I think that’s the only place in the world where I’ll be able to go to escape these guys.”

“You signed up for this when you started to date my brother,” Mikey tells him.

Brendon adds, “I don’t know what you expected. We’re supposed to make fun of you, that’s our job as your not-friends-but-actually-are-your-friends-you-just-haven’t-owned-up-to-it-yet.”

“I didn’t know when I met Gerard that he was related to you,” Frank says, as Gerard’s hand on his shoulder guides him towards the corner of the coffee shop, where he’s fairly sure there is a table, that, with any luck, isn’t big enough to seat all of them.

“Now you do, and now you know that I’m not going to give it up until you two are tasting wedding cakes.”

“Really, that’s the only reason he’s pestering you,” Pete says, “Mikey just wants to make sure he’s not left out on the invite to try various wedding cakes. Any excuse to stuff his face with cake is one that he will gladly follow to the ends of the earth.”

“I don’t even know how you eat so much junk food and still have the body mass of a piece of spaghetti.”

“And a skull as thick as his dumb face would suggest,” Gerard says. Frank feels them come to a stop and he feels out for a chair, which Gerard pulls out to meet him. Frank’s pretty sure that this is the same table he sat at with the rest of them a few weeks ago, which means that there’s definitely enough room for all of them to crowd around it. Frank hopes that Gerard didn’t do that on purpose, because the last thing he wants is to entertain company.

Frank takes a spot next to Gerard, and he can tell from loud careless screeching of an old chair against a tile floor, that Pete’s definitely sitting across from them, and someone else is beside him. He’s not as good as identifying people as he is when it comes to Pete, because he, for some reason, has a knack for making everything louder than it has to be. Pete could find a way to make anything loud. He could make being a fulltime mime loud.

“You two gonna kiss or what?” Brendon asks, and Frank just scoffs, taking a sip of his coffee which is the perfect balance between way too bitter and a killer pick-me-up.

“Not when we have a bunch of voyeuristic pervs sitting across the table from us,” Gerard says.

“Oh my god, it’s so refreshing to see Frank with a boyfriend. Like, of course he’s dating Gerard. They’re perfect,” Pete notes.

“I will skin you alive if you say one more thing about us,” Frank warns.

“Violent and threatening as always. Gerard may be good for him, but even a boyfriend can’t take away his murderous inclinations.”

“Not much has changed.”

“No but look at him, he’s smiling more,” Mikey says, and Frank makes a well-targeted kick at him, which receives a small squeak in return that really does make him smile.

“Typical. The two things in this world that make him smile are Gerard and inflicting pain.”

“Don’t forget pizza, you should see him scarf down a pizza,” Gerard says, and Frank pokes him in the side to tell him to shut up.

“Same,” Pete nods in a weird tone.

"So you understand my love for pizza then?" Frank asks, clearly directing his question to Pete.

"I don't understand people who don't have a love for pizza," Pete says almost in disgust.

"I know right? It's like a sin!" Frank pipes up.

"It is a sin, my friend," Pete says.

"Yes, yes," Frank says with a smile.

"Hey!"

And there he is. Frank already knows.

"Hey Patrick," Frank says dryly.

"No! I wasn't saying hey as in ‘hey’! How come Pete gets to call you 'my friend' and he doesn't get a snide remark?"

"It's simple. He loves pizza."

"Wait a minute," Brendon intervenes.

"Yes Brendon?" Frank says while sighing.

"You mean to tell me that all we have to do is genuinely love pizza and we can refer to you as 'my friend'?" Brendon asks.

"Well... I don't know about that. You can't base a friendship off of pizza. Just because someone loves pizza as much as you do doesn't mean they won't whack you in the back of the head with the rolling pin after they finish flattening the dough," Frank says sarcastically and Gerard sputters on his coffee. He's starts laughing too hard and Frank starts to worry a little when he doesn't instantly stop coughing.

Frank reaches over and feels for Gerard's back. When he's sure he has the correct spot he starts patting Gerard's back while everyone else is watching with raised brows. Everyone glances at each other to make sure the other is watching and then they all smile.

"Are you okay?" Frank asks.

"Yeah, I'm good. You're just hilarious at the wrong time. I was drinking my coffee," Gerard clears his throat one more time and then smiles over at Frank. "Thank you." Gerard kisses Frank's cheek and then realizes what he's done when the room roars with everyone's voices. "Oh calm down! It's just two people being boyfriends. Maybe you should all go set out to find someone instead of clinging to me and Frankie."

"I think this is more entertaining," Brendon says.

"I'm just shocked," Pete says. "But congrats guys. Seriously."

Frank just smiles since he doesn't really know what to do or say with that.

"If you guys want to give congrats you can all leave," Gerard says rather bluntly.

"Ass," Mikey mutters and Gerard scowls at him.

"Whatever Mikey. You guys have to leave us alone some time."

"Yeah, I already told Frankie when," Mikey chuckles as if that'll be good enough for Gerard.

"Now," Gerard says firmly.

"Maybe we should go guys," Patrick says, just above a whisper.

“Patrick, ever the eternal party pooper,” Pete says, shaking his head.

“I, Frank and Gerard want us to go, and I’m sorry?”

“Sorry to whom?”

“Yes,” Patrick says, when he doesn’t have a good answer.

“See, the problem here is that, when you try to be too nice to everyone, someone always ends up realizing the transparency in the words that you say, especially when you have two opposing forces whom you’re trying to be kind to, and what we have here is a case of that. By saying sorry to both of us, you’re saying sorry to neither of us, because you’re caught in the middle of two different sides, and since it’s impossible to take both sides at the same time, you either take neither, or you’re lying about taking one. So, basically Patrick, you’re a bitch,” Mikey says.

“When did you swallow a sociology textbook?” Brendon asks him.

“I just thought it would be fun to see the look on Patrick’s face after I called him a bitch. It took a while to get there, but it was so worth it.”

“I’ll bet,” Frank sighs.

“Oh, we should go before Frank starts guilt tripping us about whatever he can think of,” Brendon says. “And I mean that in a completely loving and supporting way, Frank. Also, I really like pizza, I just thought I should let you know.”

“He’s such a kiss ass,” Gerard whispers as the chairs start to move again and Frank grins back at him.

“You two have fun,” Pete says, and Frank can tell he’s grinning stupidly at them.

“But not too much fun,” Mikey says.

“Go fuck yourself,” Gerard replies.

“Love you too, big bro,” Mikey says.

Gerard nods at him and then he rests his head on Frank’s shoulder, which makes him pretty happy. He doesn’t know where the others are, but he’s hoping that they’re headed out of the coffee shop now. Gerard and he will probably run into them sometime later, but whatever. At least they’re alone now. Well alone if you discount the multiple strangers who are also occupying the coffee shop. Frank’s decided not to count them though, because he doesn’t care, and it’s easier to pretend they’re not there when he can’t actually see them.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Gerard says.

“Oh alright. You go right ahead and do that.”

“I intend to,” Gerard says, and Frank grins before Gerard’s lips meet his, and honestly, Frank’s just really happy that this is his life right now. Annoying friends and all. Well, annoying not-friends. Who the hell is Frank kidding though? They can be his friends as long as he doesn’t say it out loud. Yeah, that works. His friends are annoying, but they are his friends. And that’s okay.