These Eyes Are Blind

“Hi Frank,” A voice says near Frank’s head, “so you stayed around. I’m glad.”

“Shh, you’re interrupting the juicy story about the well-endowed guy in the sauna,” Frank says, and points to two teenage girls a few tables over. They are evidently the victims of Frank’s eavesdropping.

“Am I really?” Gerard asks. “Well what have I missed?”

“Well basically, one of them was at the sauna, and there was a guy there who was well-endowed,” Frank says, “or at least that’s what I hear.”

“You’re creepy,” Gerard shakes his head laughing, and he takes the seat across from Frank.

“Thank you. I try,” Frank says, “so what’s up, comic boy?”

“Have you forgotten my name already?” Gerard teases.

“Gerald if I do recall correctly.”

“So close,” Gerard says.

“Well I tried. Gold star for effort.”

Gerard shakes his head, “no you don’t get a gold star. No gold stars for you.”

“Meanie,” Frank frowns, “so what brings you here to this corner of the food court?”

“You.”

“Well don’t I feel well special,” Frank says fanning his face mockingly.

“Oh shut up,” Gerard says smiling. He likes the fact that he doesn’t have to hide the smile on his face talking to Frank. He can just look at him and take in the way Frank looks.

“But if I shut up how will I be able to amuse you with my satirical narration of life?” Frank asks.

“Valid question,” Gerard says. “To be honest I didn’t expect you to still be here.”

“Yeah well, I needed directions to the Starbucks,” Frank shrugs.

“Oh I see,” Gerard giggles. “So you enjoy your coffee then?”

“I love coffee,” Frank replies.

“We have that in common,” Gerard says.

“Well now we have a lot of things in common,” Frank says, “We’re both annoying as hell.”

“I resent that.”

“You were meant to.”

“I see how it goes,” Gerard says, shaking his head and smiling.

“I don’t,” Frank replies, “but I don’t see much of anything.”

Gerard frowns a little, and then decides to ask the first question on his mind, “So I don’t mean to be, like, disrespectful or anything, but I was wondering if you’ve, like, always been blind?”

“Um, no,” Frank answers hesitantly, “I lost my sight when I was nine.”

“Oh, what happened?” Gerard asks.

“Well,” he sighs, trying to remain neutral about the story, “I was a kid, and my friend and I were walking down the street, and it was sort of late. I lived in maybe not exactly the safest place in the world, but anyway we were walking down the street and some guy jumped us. I didn’t really know what to do, right, because it was weird, what do you do in that situation? So I tried to tell him that I didn’t have anything. I guess I just pissed him off more, because he threw me to the ground and slammed my head against the sidewalk. He sort of, like, grabbed my hair and then whacked my forehead a couple of times, and then I passed out. When I woke up in a hospital bed, I couldn’t see. It was pretty simple when I look back on it, but it changed my life.”

“Oh,” Gerard says, “so, what happened exactly that made you lose being able to see?”

“Blood clot,” Frank says, “I slammed into the pavement which caused a blood clot in my brain. No one knows if it’s permanent, but until they figure that out, I can’t see. The thing is that I’m not actually blind. Or, well I’m not blind in the way that you’re probably thinking. You’re thinking like a big black eternal abyss or something, and due to the nature of my accident, that’s not the case for me.”

“So what do you mean then?”

“Well I can’t see anything the way regular people do. I can’t see it for real, but I can see sort of blurs when there’s enough light. It only really works when there’s some light, kind of like shadow puppets. I see forms, but it’s blurry to all hell. Think of the blurriest setting on a pair of binoculars, what I see is a little worse than that. Basically what it means is that on a sunny day, I’m not going to get hit by a car. It’s really not much, I can’t read words on a page, or see your face, but at least I have an idea as to where you are by going off more than just a voice.”

“Okay,” Gerard says, “Will you ever be able to see again?”

Frank sighs, “Don’t know. Hopefully. Maybe someday. I really would like to see a lot of things. Before it happened, if I could’ve been given the chance to take one last final look at everything, just to try and remember it, I’d love to have been able to do that. I really wish I’d appreciated my sight when I had it. I never appreciated the color of the sky, or the texture of artwork. I’d give a lot just to see, like, the Mona Lisa again or something. I don’t remember what she looked like.”

“So you don’t even know what you look like?” Gerard asks.

“Not really, no,” Frank says, “I mean, I know what shape my nose is, and what my ears feel like and all that, but I can’t picture them the way I used to. I have a lot of trouble picturing colors and stuff. Like I don’t know what some colors look like. I lost blue a long time ago, and I can’t even pretend to remember what it looked like. It’s like trying to remember something that you know is there at the tip of your tongue, but you just come up short.”

“So what colors can you remember then?”

“Well it depends. I think red is something I’m familiar with. Red seems to be easy for me to picture. It’s like, you never realize this, but when you’re angry or really steamed up, you see red. Not just in a figure of speech. I see red when there’s something that pisses me off, and it still processes in my head. Plus red is a violent color. It shows up better to my eyes in a sense, because it’s really just strong. Yellow is too pale, and so are greens or blues, but red is this really in your face color. It’s really just there, you know?”

“Not really. I guess I’ve never appreciated the color red the way you have,” Gerard says, “you know Daredevil, he’s red.”

Gerard picks up the comic that Frank had set on the table, and Frank can hear the sound of him riffling through it.

“Is he?” Frank asks, “What else is there about him?”

“Uh, well, I don’t know,” Gerard says and he looks down at the comic to try to find the words to describe him. “He’s got this sort of smoldering look to him, like he’s trying to make himself look attractive. Lips pressed together, if that makes any sense? Kind of like he’s always pouting.”

"I had a teacher that looked like that once. She was attractive, but oh so broody. We called her 'the thorny model.' You know how models do that lip thing you described and they barely even laugh because they're trying to keep up with their looks. Like if they laugh they'll all of a sudden become ugly or something. It looks like they’ve got a thorn in their side. Honestly it was like she had a stick up her ass, hence the name. "

Gerard laughs and Frank smiles again, but he quickly stops when he remembers what Gerard said about his smile. Gerard notices but he decides not to speak up on it. He'll let Frank warm up to him at his own pace. He just really wishes Frank will let him see that beautiful smile.

"Do I have that look?" Frank inquires.

Gerard laughs and shakes his head, "Nah. You don't need to try to look attractive. You already are."

Frank opens and closes his mouth a few times like a goldfish. He doesn't know what to say to that. He just sits there and looks around.

Frank takes his sunglasses off for a moment to survey the room around him. He sees a lot better without the shades, but his eyes tend to freak people out. His eyes fixate on someone in the distance who is, of course, wearing red.

"Do you see that guy right there?" Frank nods in the direction.

"Yeah? Wait, how did you see him?"

"He's wearing red," Frank smiles but doesn't bear teeth this time. Gerard still thinks even that’s beautiful.

“I can’t really see him, but I see him like I know he’s there. He’s still a blur, and if this mall were any darker I wouldn’t see him at all, but I do,” Frank says, and he puts the sunglasses back on.

"Cool. That's pretty cool. Maybe I'll wear red the next time I see you."

Frank is stumped again. Gerard is planning on seeing him again and he doesn't even bother to sugarcoat it.

"Who says I'll wanna 'see' you again?" Frank asks.

"I'm hoping you will, and this time actually kind of see me."

"Maybe," Frank looks down and swirls his cane nervously in his hand.

"What do you look like?"

"Oh me? I'm nothing special," Gerard says with a shrug.

"Join the club."

"How would you know you're nothing special?"

"Like I said before, people aren't actually lining up to meet me. They aren't even nice enough to me. I think if I looked good enough someone would try to be nice to me," Frank says.

"And what do you call what I'm doing?" Gerard asks. Frank gets all quiet and swallows loudly.

"Uh," Frank looks down and worries his lip. "How about that description? What do you look like?"

Gerard smiles at Frank. The kid is cute.

"Uh, let me think. I have hazel eyes, nearly green in the right light, nothing special. I have a pretty round face. I uh, have tiny teeth that look like I've been chomping on wood," he says, and Frank smiles getting Gerard to continue talking so he can keep that smile there. "I have pale skin. I wear a lot of makeup, I guess. I have hella bushy eyebrows. Your eyebrows are perfect."

Frank scoffs, "Cut it."

Gerard shrugs and continues describing himself, "I guess I have thin lips and a weak jaw, unlike yours. Yours is so prominent and strong."

"Really?" Frank asks, and Gerard makes a noise of affirmation. “What color is your hair?”

"Oh it’s bright red. Shockingly red,” Gerard says sardonically.

“Really? I think I’d notice that,” Frank says.

“Fine. It’s black. Nice length. Most of the time it’s unwashed,” Gerard says. “And uh, lastly I have high cheek bones, some people refer to them as girly. I refer those people to the dictionary definition of ‘fuck you’. I'm kind of your average waste of space."

"Hm," Frank nods. "Well then I guess you're just like me."

"I don't think you're a waste of space."

"But a lot of others do."

"Fuck them," Gerard says.

"I don't think they deserve the goods if they don't like me for me," Frank responds.

Gerard chuckles slowly and leans forward, placing his chin in his hands on the table. Frank senses his closeness and looks down at what would be Gerard's face if he could see.

"Do you mind if I touch you?" Frank asks, out of context.

Gerard is caught off guard by that question, especially since Frank doesn't seem like the touchy type.

"For what?"

"You have a pleasant voice. This might sound stupid, but I can't imagine you looking as mundane as you just described with a voice like yours. I'd like to feel what you look like."

Gerard nods and reaches out for Frank's hand that is resting on the table. Frank tries to pull it back but Gerard tightens his grip, making Frank seize up. He pulls Frank's hand towards his face, and lets Frank do the rest.

Frank starts at Gerard's forehead. It feels fairly tiny compared to his mother's. He moves to Gerard's eyebrows next, and smiles when he feels how bushy they are. Gerard smiles back at Frank but doesn't say anything. Frank smoothens Gerard's eyebrows over and then pulls back for a second.

"I don't think they're too bushy."

"Yeah, you wouldn't say that if you actually saw them."

Frank twists his lips and sighs. He reaches back out and feels for Gerard's eyes. Gerard closes them obviously, and lets Frank feel around. They feel a little sunken in, but not too badly. Frank's tongue sticks out at his bottom lip a little as he concentrates on Gerard's cheek bones.

"Are they rosy like a woman's also?"

Gerard chuckles and answers softly, "Something like that."

Gerard looks over and sees a few people looking in their direction, but he just rolls his eyes and focuses on Frank who is now running a hand along his jaw.

"You do have a weak jaw."

"Why thank you," Gerard says sarcastically.

"You're most welcome," A smile tugs at Frank's lips.

He brings his hand up to Gerard's hair and takes a few strands between his fingers. He rubs them and then gets brave enough to run his fingers through Gerard's hair. A few people are now looking a little disgustedly in their direction, and Gerard raises his middle finger to those people.

They shake their heads disapprovingly, and some people move while the others just stop looking. Frank doesn't miss Gerard's movement and he starts to ask what’s up, but once he hears the chairs screeching he decides he doesn't wanna know. He already has a good idea as to what was going on.

People are watching him. He feels their eyes and he wonders why he hadn't felt them a moment ago. Maybe because he was so focused on Gerard. He decides that if Gerard can make him oblivious to the stares of rude people, then Gerard is worth seeing again. He needs someone around like that.

"Don't think I don't know they're staring. I can feel it," Frank says to break the brief silence.

"They're fucking idiots, and I was sure to let them know what I think of their staring. People like that deserve to be blind, not you."

"I get what you mean, but I would never wish this on anyone," Frank says, which is a drastic difference in his personality. Frank’s this cynical, albeit kindhearted guy, and that statement contradicts what he’s shown Gerard of his personality.

“I understand,” Gerard says, after stumbling for a moment.

At the same time they both realize Frank's fingers are still intertwined with his hair. He pulls them away slowly and smiles a little.

"Your hair feels fine."

"That's because I decided to wash it today. I'm glad I did too," Gerard says.

Frank blushes and looks away. He isn't this type of person. He doesn't blush and smile this much. He walks around with a tough exterior, if you will. Not tough in the sense that he'll beat people up or something, but in the sense that he doesn't let people in. He doesn't trust people this easily.

Well, Frank doesn't think he trusts Gerard whole heartedly, that'd be stupid, but he feels like he could in the long run. Frank realizes he isn't done with feeling Gerard out, so he reaches back out and touches Gerard's nose on the first try.

Gerard smiles and praises Frank, "You're pretty good."

"Once I know my target I rarely ever miss."

Frank admits that that may have come off like a come on and maybe he wanted it to. Gerard definitely notices, Frank knows because of the kind chuckle he lets out. Frank gets bold and moves down to Gerard's lips. Gerard is shocked at first but doesn't let on to it.

Frank moves his fingers lightly back and forth. Gerard is mentally thanking the high heavens that he put on chap stick. Frank knows the texture of chap stick and notes that Gerard is in fact wearing some. He pulls his fingers away and smells them.

"Cherry... I wear the same kind," Frank says.

"Marking that for future reference."

Frank detects the smile in Gerard's voice and lets himself smile back.

"Based on my findings, I will say that you feel like you look interesting."

"I'm not sure I do in the sense that you're speaking," Gerard says.

"Look, I may not be able to see, but as I just demonstrated, I can feel. You feel like you look nice. Unique, if you will."

"I can get behind that. No one looks like me, luckily. I’d feel sorry for them if they did."

"Well that probably makes you special. Your own kind. I feel like you're a beautiful individual," Frank states. Gerard is taken aback by Frank's bluntness.

"Th-thank you?"

"Don't mention it, comic boy," Frank folds his hands in his lap and looks in Gerard's direction. "So how long are you going to entertain the blind kid before you get bored?"

"I won't get bored."

Frank thinks for a second and then remembers that he’s supposed to meet his mom at the entrance. He’d promised he'd ask someone for the time and she was skeptical about it. Now he has Gerard to ask, and he can even guide Frank that way.

"What time is it?"

Gerard checks his watch, "It's approaching four."

Frank nods. He really doesn't want to go since this is the first time he’s felt like a real person in a very long time, but he has to.

"Well, I have to meet my mom at the mall entrance."

Gerard frowns, but says, "Oh, okay. I could take you, unless that makes you feel some kind of way."

"It does, but you can lead me."

Gerard smiles and stands up. He walks around towards Frank and stands behind his chair. Frank stands up as well and turns toward Gerard.

"Ready, Cinderella?" Gerard asks.

"Oh I am so gonna get you for that," Frank swings his cane at Gerard and just barely misses when Gerard dodges.

"You're not safe. My first attempt may have been futile, but my next one won't be."

Gerard laughs loudly, and Frank just cracks a smile his way, "Lead the way, Way."

Gerard starts walking and Frank follows him at an even pace. When they get to the elevator and stairs, Gerard looks over at Frank.

"What's your preference? Stairs or elevator?"

"I fucking hate steps," Frank professes.

"Elevator it is."

Gerard touches Frank's arm and guides him the short distance to the small moving cubicle. Frank lets himself be guided by Gerard. It’s nice, actually. It doesn't feel patronizing like when his mother does it or the few people who actually have tried to help him. It feels natural, like someone would guide their friend... or significant other.

Gerard presses the button to call the elevator and luckily it’s already at their floor. Frank and Gerard enter when the doors open, and Gerard pushes the button.

Frank hears footsteps running and then a call, "Hey! Hold the elevator!"

The doors are already closing and they’re pressed against the wall at the back of the small box. Frank puts his cane out and hears the doors jerk back open. Gerard smiles at him and then up at the lady and little girl that just stepped inside.

"Thank you so much."

Frank looks in the woman's direction and nods to her, "No problem."

She smiles at him and then down at her daughter, "Say thank you to the nice gentleman."

She looks up at Frank, "Thank you."

Frank smiles sweetly down at her, "You're very welcome, young lady."

Gerard interrupts, "Hey, what floor are you going to?"

"Oh, I'm going to the first floor."

Gerard walks forward and presses the button. He then presses the ground floor for themselves, since it had gone off after being stopped. He then stands back next to Frank. The little girl tugs on Frank's pants and he looks down at her again.

"Yes?"

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry," the mother says.

"Nah, it's okay. What's up?" Frank asks.

"I like your glasses. Mommy won't buy me any. Says it's not the right weather."

Frank smiles at her, "Well your mother is right, but I need them so that's why I have them."

"I wish I needed them."

Her mother tisks, "Hush with that ignorance. You don't know what you're wishing for."

"I do. I'm wishing to look cool like he does."

Frank smiles brightly and chuckles, telling Gerard it’s okay to join in. Gerard knows it made Frank feel good to hear that, as his whole face lights up.

"You have a fantastic kid," Frank says with a grin.

The lady smiles at them, "Thank you, but I'm going to have to talk with her."

The elevator dings and then the doors open.

"It was very nice meeting you two. Take care," she says. They both smile politely at the lady and then Gerard looks at the little girl as she stops in the door. She then runs over and hugs Frank's leg. Frank is shocked and her mother looks mortified.

"Oh god, I'm really sorry. She doesn't usually do this."

"He reminds me of my favorite superhero. Cyclops. He's cool mom, and nice. I like him," she says matter-of-factly.

The little girl is pulled off the elevator by her mother who scolds her, and says, "That doesn't mean you get to attack his leg."

"But mom," the little girl says, making the ‘o’ in mom go on a roller-coaster of sounds. The doors close on that and Gerard laughs uninhibitedly.

"Seems you have a little friend," Gerard says.

"That was a first," Frank states, still a little stunned.

"I'm glad it happened. You're beaming," Gerard says, Frank looks away and schools his face.

"Frank, you're allowed to enjoy life. You're allowed to smile."

Frank shrugs and heads for the doors when they open. Gerard is close behind him.

"I think if people actually made you smile they would become enticed by you. Your smile could cure cancer," Gerard states.

Frank raises a brow at Gerard and tries to hide his blush, "Yeah, well I kind of need it to cure blindness instead."

Gerard scoffs and walks with Frank to the front doors. Gerard doesn't see any women who look like they’re waiting for anyone.

Gerard mumbles something that most people wouldn’t pick up, but Frank’s acute sense of hearing catches it, “Cyclops is cool.”

“Hey Gerard?” Frank asks.

“What?”

Frank hits him in the shin with the cane and then laughs, “I told you I’d get you back for calling me Cinderella.”

Gerard frowns, rubbing at his ankle for a second, "yeah yeah. What time will she be here?"

"Four."

Gerard looks at his watch again, "it’s 3:58."

"Okay. You can go."

"After all this I don't get to meet the mother?" Gerard asks teasingly.

"No. She's not really welcoming. This isn't something I should just spring on her. She's worse than me, but that’s not saying much because I’m amazing. She'll wanna know you're whole agenda and why you're 'preying on her son.' You could commit a crime and not be drilled as much as my mother would drill you. I told you what happened to me, so you can guess what happens to her around strangers."

Gerard sighs and stuffs his hands inside of his pockets, "Okay."

"I'm not saying you'll never meet her, but I guess that's up to if you actually stay around."

"I plan on it, Frankie," Frank notices the nickname but keeps quiet.

Gerard clears his throat, "How will I get in touch with you?"

"I know where you work. I'll stop by again."

"So I have to leave it all on you? How do I know that you’ll come around?"

"I guess you'll just have to trust the blind kid," Frank tells him.

"Hm, I guess so. Well it was very nice meeting you,” Gerard says, “I believe this belongs to you."

Frank looks confusedly until he feels the comic placed in his hand.

"Oh right. Thanks," Frank says, because he’d nearly forgotten it. He’s not necessarily used to holding things and whatnot, so he’d forgotten it on the table in the food court. It’s a good thing Gerard was there then.

"No, thank you,” Gerard says mysteriously, “And I know we’re going to meet again, because you need someone to read that to you."

Before Frank can ask what Gerard had meant with his thank you, he feels the cool breeze coming through the door as Gerard exits the mall. Frank stands there and smiles to himself. Little does Frank know that Gerard is stood outside staring in at him from a little distance away. He just wants to make sure Frank will be safe.

Frank feels like he’s being watched. He looks out in the direction that Gerard had gone and Gerard smiles at him, not to Frank’s knowledge. Frank's head snaps in another direction and Gerard follows Frank's 'gaze'. Gerard sees a woman who he assumes is his mother approach Frank and pat him on his head. A few words are exchanged and she sits her bags down.

Next thing Gerard sees is her fixing Frank's jacket and Frank clearly objecting to it. Gerard laughs to himself and smiles when she kisses his cheek. Frank makes a face and then reaches his hand out for the bags. Frank's mother smacks his hand and he shrugs. Frank pushes the door open and his words ring out into the air.

"I was just trying to help. You know, I can carry things."

"So can I, so give it up," his mother replies.

"Like I had to give up seeing? If I have the ability to do something, I want to do it," Frank says. Gerard feels bad for Frank in this instance. He understands where Frank is coming from.

"Well I don't need your help, Frank. You just walk. The car is to your left. I moved it when I left you."

"Are you sure you weren't fixing to leave me here?"

Frank's mother sits the bags down again and reaches for Frank. She grasps his arm tightly and turns him to her. Gerard tenses up in witnessing this, especially after what Frank had told him about what happened to him. Gerard doesn't think the woman looks harmful, so he just continues to watch and make sure.

"Don't you ever say that again! I will never abandon you, do you understand me?"

"I guess," Frank says noncommittally.

"I am not kidding with you, Frank."

"Okay mom."

"That's not good enough. Do you understand me?" She asks.

Frank sighs and nods, "Yes mom, I understand you."

"Good. You're the only good thing I have left in my life, and there's no way I'd ever leave you behind."

"How sad can your life be when a blind kid is the only good thing you have?" Frank questions.

"You're not a blind kid. You're are my son. My flesh and blood. I created you and you're my greatest creation. We hit a small bump, that doesn't mean I'd stop loving you because of it."

"If I recall the bump wasn't small and..."

"That is not funny, Frank, shut up!" She says coldly. Gerard is shocked that Frank would actually joke about that.

"Take this bag and go," His mother picks up a bag with what looks like bedding supplies inside. Frank laughs and takes the bag cheerily. His mom smiles at him.

"So all I have to do is annoy you to carry something? Oh how you have set yourself up!"

She laughs and turns him towards the car, "Get going, boy."

Gerard smiles and walks away. Frank walks to a car with the bag in hand.

"Right here?" Frank asks, next to a rundown car.

"Yes."