A Lovely Mess

Jamie had claimed that she wanted John to spend time with his friends. She had taken to heart what the boys had said, about barely talking to him or seeing him anymore. The last thing Jamie wanted was to be the type of girl that kept the boy she was seeing from his friends - she wanted to be able to hang out with his friends without tension or awkwardness.

So after Jamie showered, followed by John showering, and then the two of them eating their breakfast, they dressed for Matt's house. Jamie's clothing options were limited, so she wore just a pair of jean shorts and one of John's button ups, while John dressed in cut off jeans and a white shirt. Even though she was dressed plain, Jamie still looked beautiful in John's eyes.

It was the first night that Jamie would meet all of John's friends, and that made him a little nervous. She had only met Eric and the rest of the four in the band. He wasn't sure how everyone else would take to her being so young, even though some of them were only a couple years older than her. He hoped that they would see she's more than just a young girl, because she was. She was much older on the inside.

Jamie didn't seem nervous to him as they walked up the pathway to the door. She remained smiling while John opened the door, not faltering once. John gave her a hand a light squeeze, which Jamie returned with a smile.

Almost immediately once they were noticed, the couple was bombarded. John saw Jamie's eyes widen briefly, but she soon smiled at the hoard of people. She greeted everyone with a wide, innocent smile. John couldn't help but smile at the joy on her face. It was clear that everyone of his friends were a little offset by her age, but he was happy they didn't mention it.

"Finally, you're here, Jamie!" Eric yelled, walking over to her. He grabbed her in a hug. "I've missed you."

She giggled. "Eric, I saw you like three hours ago, not even."

He shrugged and looked at John. "I'm stealing your girl to go get a drink with me," he said, then pulled Jamie along with him to the kitchen.

While most of his friends had dispersed, Max, Tim, and Katie remained by his side. "So that's Jamie, huh?" Tim asked. "She uh, looks a bit young, doesn't she?"

A sigh fell from John's lips. "Just give her a chance, dude. She's great, I promise, you'll love her."

"I think she's gorgeous," Katie said, who was always the voice of reason in their group. She was one of the sweetest girls that John had ever met. Katie was the type of girl to find the good in everyone and was always nice no matter what. "She does look young, yes, but come on, Nate and Parker are only twenty three, that's barely older than her."

John then turned to Max, who always asked the same question any time John had a girl anywhere near him. "Did you tell her about Christina?"

Christina was Max's sister, which was how they met. She was only a year younger, and while Max was John's best friend, Christina was his sister. After they broke up, Max didn't talk to John for two weeks. It was hard for Max to move past it, John knew that, but he also knew that Max knew it was for the best, considering their relationship was a mess anyways.

Shaking his head, John glanced into the kitchen. He could see Eric talking off Jamie's ear, but she was still smiling. "No, I haven't."

"She told me that she called you," Max started. He paused briefly, waiting for John's reaction. "You can't say shit like that to her. She's trying to change."

Katie stayed silent, but Tim laughed. "Dude, your sister is never going to change."

Max ignored him as he looked at John. "I'm sorry, but she needs to stop calling me. She can't keep doing this shit, man, it's getting old. I'm sick and tired of her save herself and the world shit, it's not even true. So tell your sister to stay the fuck away from me, because I'm sure as hell not going to let her bring me down again."

Instead of sticking around the three, after John finished his little speech, he walked off, annoyed that Max always had to bring up Christina. He understood where he was coming from, since she was his sister and all, but he wished it wasn't a constant subject.

John looked in the kitchen again, but didn't see Jamie or Eric, which slightly worried him. He knew how much of a handful Eric could be and he didn't want him to run Jamie off. He saw Katie walk in from the backdoor, which he assumed she had barely been out there, and he stopped her, asking if she'd seen Jamie. She nodded, saying she was outside.

The mood he was in because of Max made him want to leave. He didn't want to ask Jamie to leave since they had just gotten there not long before, but it was honestly the last place he wanted to be. He found her sitting by the pool with Eric and a couple others around her. She smiled as she saw John, waving him over. She stood for a second so John could sit and then he pulled her down to his lap.

"So, what made you go for John?" Andrew de Stefano asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Jamie shrugged as she smiled at him. "His smile," she said. John glanced at her. He didn't know that. "On his birthday, actually. I saw him long before he saw me and I kept seeing so many people greet him and he smiled so wide at all of you with so much appreciation and love. It was fascinating. And then he ran into me - literally - and I just... I don't know," she shrugged, her cheeks flushing slightly.

"I didn't know that," John murmured and then kissed the shell of her ear. She smiled at him again.

A couple others asked her about herself and John couldn't shake his bad mood even though he wanted to. He tried hard, but he hated that Max constantly brought up Christina.

"I think we all approve of you, Jay," Peter said, grinning at the girl. "Don't tell Max, but I like you way better than Christina."

John could see the confusion in Jamie's eyes, but she just offered Peter a smile and didn't look at John. He knew he was going to have to tell her about Christina that night, even though he didn't want to. There was no way to ignore it anymore, not with how many times her name had been mentioned.

"Can we get out of here? I'm not in the mood to stick around," John murmured to her.

She finally looked at him, confused, but nodded. She stood, then John did as well. He told everyone he wasn't feeling well and that they were going to head out. Once all the goodbyes were said, they made their way to John's Jeep down the street. He opened the door for her, then got in the driver's side.

"John," she said softly. He glanced at her. "Who is Christina? I heard her name several times... And, I noticed that's the girl who called you this morning."

A sigh fell from his lips. "She's uh, Max's sister... And a girl I dated for awhile five years ago."

He could tell she wanted to ask more, but Jamie kept her mouth shut. After what felt like forever, she finally spoke. "I feel like we don't really know each other, John."

"What do you want to know?" he asked.

John could see her gathering her thoughts in her mind. "This wasn't supposed to be like this. We weren't supposed to be like this. I'm not the type of girl that spends days with a guy or meets his friends... I don't get to know people and I don't try to make sure their friends like me. I'm not really sure what I want to know and I don't even know what I want. You told me to stay away from you but look where we are now. What the hell happened?"

"If this is about something they said-" he started.

"No one said anything," she cut off. "I am just confused as to how we got here."

They stayed silent for the rest of the drive to John's place. John couldn't help but think about what she said. She was right and he knew it. The fact that he was afraid she was going to leave and that he didn't want her to leave, scared him. He wanted her to stay, which was new to him. It had been years since he actually wanted someone to stay.

When they pulled up to his place, she got out and walked to the door, before John had barely even put the car in park. Once he opened the front door, she didn't wait for him before she went to his room.

Again, he followed. In the doorway, he watched as she stood there beside herself. It was obvious that she was upset, and he wanted desperately to make her feel better.

"Don't go," he said. "Please stay."

Her eyes met his. "I'm not... I'm not leaving." Jamie sat on the bed and pushed her blond hair out of her face. "I'm just confused."

"Let's just not think about it." John went to sit next to her. "Don't label or categorize it. Just let it be, let us be."

Jamie let out a breath and groaned. "You're the one leaving in like three days, John."

"I'll be back... It's just a short tour, only a couple weeks."

He kissed her head and she nodded. "Tell me about Christina," she murmured.

John sighed, but nodded. "I met her through Max, since she's his sister. She was at one of our shows and I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world... until I met you." John pulled at her chin to kiss her, which she accepted. "She was a mess from the beginning. She was a coke addict, but she hid it well. I didn't know until we were together for about three months. I had tried cocaine before, just once or twice, but she did it a lot. She convinced me to do it with her and every once in awhile turned into once a week and then three times a week and then pretty much every day. For the next three years, I turned into a mess. We both did. We fought all the time, did coke all the time, and then fought some more. But I loved her. I loved her more than I ever thought possible to love someone. One day," he paused, "Jared came to my place. He was checking on me because I missed band practice and wasn't answering my phone. I had gotten in a fight with Christina and I guess I took a little too much... I was out, Jared said. All I remember is the fight and then waking up in the hospital. That was my reality check. I ended things with Christina and checked myself into a rehabilitation facility. I got clean in two months and I haven't gone near the stuff in five years. Christina on the other hand, can't stop. She tries to, tries to change and quit, but she always goes back. It's a routine for her so I steer clear. Most of us do, except we can't always avoid her because of Max. I've managed to only see her twice since then and I count that as a blessing. I don't know how I ever loved her." John let out a breath as he glanced at Jamie, who was staring at him in awe. "Look, I know it's pretty heavy but that's not who I am, at all, anymore."

She leaned over, grabbed his face between her hands, and kissed him. "I would never judge you based on your past. It made you who you are now and it's what brought you to me. It doesn't make you any lesser of a person in my eyes."

She kissed him again. John let out a sigh of relief against her lips as he gripped her waist. He wanted to ask what her tragedy was, but he figured he should wait. He knew she would eventually tell him.

"And uh...and I know you're curious about me...about my past, but I just... I don't know if I'm ready for that just yet. Unless you need to hear it now...," she murmured to him, as if reading his mind.

Although all John wanted was to know about her past, he didn't ask. He told her that she could wait and she thanked him with a kiss. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest, to John. He felt like he could breathe easy, even though something in him told him there was a big storm coming at some point in the near future.

Leaving for tour worried him. He knew that Jamie was worried and he knew he told her not to, but he himself couldn't help but worry. He felt like their strong connection would fade because of the distance and that made him uneasy. The relationship was new but he wanted to keep it. He didn't want it to go away, or get messed up, like what usually happened because of tours.

"I think the distance will be good for us," Jamie murmured, almost like she had read his mind once again. "We're... I think we're going a little fast so maybe the tour will help us kind of settle, you know? Distance makes the heart grow fonder."

With a nod, he kissed her forehead. "Just promise me you won't find a new guy while I'm gone."

Jamie giggled and nodded. "I promise, John."