Sold My Soul

Kellin ~
(dreaming)
I wiped the tears off of my cheeks, as I stared into the mirror, hopefully for the last time. I was so sick of every aspect of my life. I just didn’t want to live anymore.
I hadn’t written a note; honestly no one cared if I died, I thought as I opened the bottle of painkillers I had taken from the woman that co-ran the home. I sat down on my bed, pouring some of them into my hand and brought it to my lips, swallowing a few at a time until I had taken all twenty-five of them. I fumbled with the bottle and lay back on my bed, suddenly feeling sorry for whoever found me. I hoped they weren’t someone I knew. My thoughts were interrupted by someone’s angry voice shouting at me. “What did you do?” the voice asked. I sat up, meeting the eyes of the man who the voice belonged to; a short Mexican with brown curls and matching chocolate eyes. “Who are you?” I asked slowly. “Vic,” he snapped and snatched the bottle from my hand, reading over it quickly. “Kellin, what the hell did you do?” he asked again, and tossed the bottle. He took my hand, pulling me up off the bed and leading me down the hall to the bathroom. I was started to feel the pills, my head clouding slightly. Vic sat me down on the floor in front of the toilet, falling down next to me and demanding that I throw up. “Nooo…” I whined and tried to wiggle away from him futilely. I was out of it, resting my head on Vic’s shoulder and wanting to fall asleep. “Kellin, stay awake,” he ordered, voice tinged with worry as he tried to prop me up in front of the toilet.
His fingers invaded my mouth, Vic forcing them down my throat until I started gagging. My stomach heaved as I threw up violently; ridding my body of the pills I had taken. Vic kept forcing me to vomit until nothing would come up. He wiped my mouth with a damp cloth, holding me against his chest.
He bit his wrist, bringing it to my lips, and filled my mouth with blood. My stomach rolled at the metallic taste, and I fought the urge to vomit again as he forced me to swallow. I couldn’t figure out why he did it and I didn’t want to; I was too focused on the fact that I wouldn’t die. I was going to have to continue my miserable life, and I started sobbing when I realized it.
“Shh, Kellin, it’s okay. It’s okay,” Vic cooed, petting my hair to try and soothe me. “Please don’t cry,” he begged and rocked us back and forth. But I only cried harder. “I don’t want to live,” I sobbed into his chest. “I know, baby, I’m so sorry,” he purred, “I’ll make it better, I promise,” You can’t, I thought, just wanting it to end.
Vic carried e back to my room and gently set me on the bed. “Promise me you won’t try again,” he asked, rubbing my back. I felt so numb, all I could do was nod my head, and cry silently. “Stay with me,” I whispered, barely getting the words out, and closed my eyes when he lay down beside me. “I need you Kellin. Please don’t die, for me, I need you to live,”
I wanted to believe him, but I didn’t know him. He couldn’t possibly need me. “Please,” he begged into my hair softly. I nodded again and pulled his arms tighter around me….

(Dream shift)

“Don’t touch me,” I said, and stepped away from Matty. “Kellin, baby, come on, I swear I didn’t,” he said, trying to appease me. I knew the truth though; I had seen it myself and I wasn’t going to trust him anymore. “How long?” I asked him, wanting a serious answer. “What?”
I rolled my eyes at him. “You know what. How long have you been cheating on me? A month, a year?” Matty reached for me again, frowning when I recoiled. “Baby, I swear, I did not cheat on you,” he said slowly, like it was difficult for me to understand.
“Oh, bullshit, Alex walked in on you fucking him,” I snapped, tired of him lying to me. “Okay, okay, I slept with him one time baby, but he seduced me. And it was only one time,” I knew he was lying to me. I could always tell when he was lying. “I don’t care anymore Matt. Just forget it,” I said and walked away from him, Matty just missing as he tried to grab my wrist. “Kellin,” he said, following after me. “Kellin, stop,”
I went into my bedroom, grabbing a suitcase from the closet, and started haphazardly tossing my clothes into it. “Baby, please,” Matty begged. “Please don’t leave,” I shook my head and continued packing up my things. “Forget it Matty, we’re done. You cheated on me,” I said, honestly hurt. I loved Matty. “And I promise it will never happen again. Just please, please, don’t leave me. I love you,”
My chest ached as he said those hollow words. “I can’t. I—please just stop. We’re done,” I said, and zipped up my bag. It finally hit me that I was leaving him. I would never be in this apartment again.
I rubbed at my eyes, fighting off the tears that threatened to spill over as my ex-boyfriend tried to get me to stay with him. I left, headed to the apartment I kind of shared with Justin. I still had most of my things there, and I was on the lease; I just basically lived-in with Matty….
“Kellin, what happened?” Justin asked and pulled me into our apartment. “M-Matty cheated on me. I l-left,” I said, holding my tears back. “Shit Kellin,” he said, a guilty look crossing his face. “Go to work,” I said, realizing that he was in his uniform with his shoes and a jacket on. “I’ll be okay, just go,”
Justin chewed his lip and kissed my hair before he left.
I fell onto our couch, letting my head fall into my hands. What have I done? I needed Matty. He was everything to me, and now I would be alone again.
I was about to call him and apologize, maybe even beg him to take me back, when someone’s long, tan fingers slid my phone from my hand. I looked up, startled by the guy standing in my living room. “Before you ask,” the beautiful stranger said, “I’m Vic,” I looked up at him questioningly, still wondering who he was. “You don’t need him,” Vic said and sat down on the couch next to me.
“He isn’t good enough for you and he doesn’t deserve you. So I want you to let go of him. Matty has hurt you so many times Kellin, and you honestly deserve so much better than him. You’re so kind and genuine and pure; you deserve someone who will love you, and only you. So let him go,”
I was taken aback by what he had said. Did Vic know me? The way he spoke, it sounded like he knew who I was, and who Matty was for that fact, but he also seemed so familiar to me. It was frustrating. I had the strangest déjà vu feeling and I didn’t know why.
“How do I know you?” I asked, meeting his gorgeous brown eyes. “I’m an old friend. And I know you can’t remember, and that you really hate that, but you’ll understand eventually. For now though, don’t worry about it, okay?” I nodded and waited for him to say something else.
Vic unlocked my phone, opening it to Matty’s contact and handed it to me. “Delete it,” he said, “And then block the number.” I frowned, but very slowly did as he said and deleted Matty’s phone number. “Good, I’m proud if you. I know how hard it is to let go of an ex, and you did.”
He had this shiny look in his eyes as he spoke, making me believe him. For once I was doing something good for myself. “It’ll be okay,” Vic said, standing up. He kissed my cheek, and then I slowly drifted to sleep. ~

“Kellin,” Vic said, rousing me from my sleep. “Kellin, baby, its morning,” I groggily rubbed my eyes and stretched, my back making little popping sounds as it realigned. “Good morning baby,” he said and kissed my lips gently.
I smiled against his mouth and moved my hand up to hold him prisoner there, letting my tongue slide across his bottom lip. “Mm,” he purred, and parted his lips to let my tongue slip between them. Vic kissed back, flicking and mingling his tongue with mine. I broke the kiss to breathe, smiling at him. “Did you wanna talk about your dream…well, dreams?” he asked, an adorably concerned look on his face. “No, I’m okay. It’s a little concerning how suicidal I was though.”
Vic gave me an uneasy look. “I know. Kellin, you tried five times,” he said, grimacing. What? “Five?” I asked, horrified that really wanted to die that badly. “Yes. And I stopped you every time; but you kept finding new ways to try and kill yourself,”
Vic looked like he might cry. “I’m sorry. It must’ve sucked to have to stop me every time,” I said, feeling guilty that I had put him through that five times.
“Don’t feel guilty Kellin,” he said and kissed my forehead. “I’m not upset that I had to stop you, just that you were depressed enough to want to die that badly. I hated seeing yo in so much pain,” he said softly. I couldn’t believe that I had tried to kill myself five times, and apparently in different ways. “Anyway, we should get a shower. I feel really gross,” he said and then ran a finger over the dried cum on my stomach. “Ewwww,” I cringed and let him drag me out of bed.
Vic started the shower, pulling me in with him and letting the hot water rush over us. “Mm, its nice and warm,” I said and grabbed Vic’s shampoo off the shelf. Vic ran his hands through my hair, and then held one out to let me pour some into his palm. He worked it through my hair, laughing when I leaned my head into his hands. “You’re silly,” he said pressed a kiss to the back of my neck, and got soap on his cheek. I laughed this time, a wiped it away, tipping my head back to rinse the soap away. Vic was smiling at me as I started to wash his hair for him, lathering up his pretty, chocolate-colored curls. “That does feel really good,” he said and reached for the conditioner he always used. We massaged each other’s hair with that too, and then soaped each other up with his body wash.
I loved showering with him. It was so intimate, and I loved that I smelled like him all day afterwards.
“All done?” Vic asked after we were both covered in sweet-smelling bubbles, I nodded and pulled him under the water again, letting it wash all of the leftover soap down the drain. Vic, being the gentleman that he was, helped me out of the shower and then wrapped me up in one of his huge, fluffy, red towels. “Can I borrow your clothes again?” I asked as we walked from the en suite to his room, Vic smiling and nodding. “You already have half my wardrobe Kellin; I’m going to run out of clothes soon,”
I giggled and walked over to his huge, sliding door closet and picked out the clothes that I wanted, settling on dark blue jeans and a green camouflage t-shirt.
Vic smirked as he watched me get dressed, eying my ass in his jeans. “You look really good,” he said and let his towel drop to the floor. I couldn’t help staring, even though he had been naked all night and most of this morning; he was gorgeous and he knew it.
“You look good too,” I said, getting a little smirk and roll of his eyes. “I’m not wearing anything,” he said, knowing full well that I was staring. “Oh. I know,” I said and made Vic laugh.
He bent to pull his tight grey jeans on, his hair falling around his face beautifully. “I like those,” I told him, remembering the last time he had worn them. They looked really nice, and made his legs look longer. “Mm, thanks. I like that I can match them. I don’t have to try,”
I giggled and rolled my eyes, grinning at the boy I loved.
He continued to pull on a black button-up, rolling the sleeves to his elbows in that way that I loved and fastened a loose, white tie around his neck. “You look…fancy,” I said, “although your tie is crooked,”
He let me adjust it so that the not sat where the dip between his collar bones was. “Are you going somewhere?”
He shook his head, and leaned forward to quickly kiss my lips. “Not unless you want me to come to work with you tonight. I can,” he offered, brightening the idea of working tonight. “Sure, that sounds nice. You’ll get to see more of Alan,”
Vic smiled at that walked out of the room, leaving me to follow after him like a little puppy. “Are you hungry?” he asked as he walked into his kitchen. “I actually bought food,”
I grinned, nodding and sat in the first chair by his kitchen table. “How about strawberries? I know I bought some,” He said, talking into the fridge and bending over to look for them. “I know they’re in here somewhere,” Vic mumbled, searching around, and gave me a perfect view of his ass as he did. “Here they are,” he said and straightened up, smirking when he turned around and noticed my gaze.
“Just wait,” I did as I was told, a thought occurring to me. “Are you thirsty?” Vic spun around, a cute little look on his face. “Not ravishingly. Why?” I shrugged, blushing now and looked down at my hands. “I don’t know, it’s, um—it’s just been a few days…” My voice trailed off, horridly embarrassed now.
The tip of Vic’s finger tilted my chin up until I was forced to look at him. “You don’t have to get so embarrassed Kellin. I really appreciate you offering, despite the fact that it makes you uncomfortable. I try and wait a few days at a time, just so I don’t have to bother you all the time for blood.” My eyebrows knot together in confusion. “Why? You need it,” I said, “and I don’t mind giving it to you,”
Vic chuckled at that. “Well shit. We could’ve saved ourselves quite a bit of awkwardness.” I laughed and nodded, giving him a tiny kiss. “Can you use a glass today though? I don’t want to get all dizzy before I eat.”
Vic smiled and tuned away to grab a large wine glass, a lot like the ones I owned, and set it on the table before taking my hand and sinking his teeth into my wrist. I winced in pain as he let it go, leaving me to hold it over the glass for him while he got strawberries for me.
I let my blood fill up the glass an inch below the rim before I asked for him; he immediately healed it, thanking me and took a sip.
And here are your strawberries,” he set and set the bowl down in front of me. “Thanks baby,” I said, Vic smiling at me. “Of course,” he said and took another large swallow of my blood. “Hey Kellin?” I looked up, a strawberry in my mouth.
”I was wondering if you had decided about your immortality?” ~