C'mere

Ray's POV

The world had crashed on my shoulders. Everything that had meant anything to me was gone. But what I wanted to know was why. Why this had to happen to me, to us.

"Now we lower this young soul into the earth, so that his body may become one with it. So that he may be part of the source that nurtures us and so that we may appreciate the love he gave us and keep him forever in our memories."

I looked at the casket that held the body of Brian Schefter, the man I had loved for so long. I couldn't imagine him in it. Three weeks since his death and my mind still refused to fathom his departure. He had fallen victim to something we all had feared: Los Angeles. I still couldn't understand why it had to be him. Why that bullet could not have hit someone else.

The sermon that was being given just added to the pain. The pastor's voice was low and solemn, changing tone to fit the mood of this sad event. The skies seem to be doing the same. There were clouds covering every inch of blue sky and casting over the sun, darkening our surroundings.

I stared off into the horizon as they lowered the pine box into the ground. I couldn't bear to watch. But the agony and the pain that didn't want me to look were no match for the longing I felt. I glanced down at the grave and my heart instantly ached. I turned and dropped my face into my hands, the despair being too much to handle.

"Ray," I heard someone whisper and then felt the accompanying hand on my shoulder. I squeezed my best friend's hand.

"Do you want to go?" Gerard asked in a low voice, he too obviously heartbroken by the death of our friend.

"I...I just need a walk. I'll meet you back at the Underground."

Gerard nodded but I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't want me to go. This too caused a jolt of emotion in my gut, but I couldn't handle watching the man I love, or had loved, be buried.

I maneuvered my way around the cemetery, carefully stepping around graves and headstones, conscious that people, or those who had once been people, now lay there, forever. I walked out past the iron gates and unto the bike lanes that ran alongside it under the freeway. At this moment that was one good thing about Los Angeles: everything was so cramped and close together that the path for the walk I needed was conveniently close to the place I was walking away from.

It took some time for me to reach the end of the freeway. I could see the hill at which the bike lane rose and then fell to meet the underpass. I looked back at where I had walked and realized I had gone a longer distance then what I was aware of. I sighed and continued up the pass, not really caring about the rumors that a homeless man lived there and attacked people who dared to tread on his territory.

As I came up to the peak of the hill, I noticed that the underpass was not empty. No, it wasn't the homeless man. It was just another guy. I hesitated to go down the walkway, but I had come so far already to turn back.

The blond man sitting against the wall had not seen me yet, as he seemed to distracted by his own thoughts to notice. I buried my self deeper within my black winter coat and walked down the path.

As I got closer to the main ground, I noticed that man had caught notice of me; the smoke having cleared from obstructing his view. His eyes were fixed on me for a while as I walked in his direction. For a second I wondered if he was the homeless man that was rumored. But closer examination of what he wore and how he looked shot down those possibilities.

He was dressed as most guys do around here: black jeans, white t-shirt, and a black sweater of some sort. I nodded at him as I passed, breaking his concentration on me. He shook his head, as if shaking away a small fly or thought that picked at him, and nodded back.

I made my way up the cement valley walls and sat down on the nearest exposed pipe. The silence and the lack of activity caused my mind to become flooded with thoughts, grievances, and anger. I fought back tears that had been building up all day and instead faced out onto the freeway, concentrating and letting my mind get lost with every passing car...