Family Reunion

Game 5 comes up, back at the Verizon Center and I go down to the seats Mandy and I have season tickets for, nine rows off center ice behind the penalty boxes.

The game starts up, Tuukka’s name omitted in the list of scratches. The backup goalie for the Bruins takes his spot on the stool next to the bench and I immediately recognize the dark brown curls of Tuukka’s hair under the hat he has on.

I try to ignore him, try to pay attention to the game, but my gaze keeps finding its way back to him. Because of that, the game seems to fly by when I don’t pay attention, and soon, the boys have won 4-3.

Mandy and I make our way to meet the guys. We meet them outside the locker room before splitting up to go to a bar nearby to celebrate going up 3-2 in the series.

John, Karl and the other guys who came out with us go to the bar to get us drinks while we stay back at the table.

Once they come back, I decide I need to go to the bathroom. Mandy offers to come with me but I decline, saying I'll only be a minute. When I find the hallway with the bathrooms on the other side of the bar, I bump into someone coming out of the men's room. I look up to apologize and come face to face with my older brother. I freeze, shocked, and he groans, not looking at me, "Fuck, man, we just lost the game. I don't need a crazy fan pestering me right now."

Then he looks up to glare. Realization crosses his face and he stutters out a hey. I go to lock myself in the bathroom, but I have to go around Tuukka to get there so he manages to pull me back by my arm before I can. "Eela, please. Listen to me." I shake my head and he groans again but doesn't let go as he starts to talk. "Mom told me you left when I came back for the allstar break. She hadn't mentioned it at all and I was a piece of shit that never asked how you were. Look, when I saw you the other day, I tried to explain but you ran away. And then when I tried to call you, your phone was disconnected."

"I got a new number," I mumble.

"Why did you leave, Eela?"

"If you don't know then you really must be a piece of shit," I say, finally finding the courage to turn and face Tuukka. I try to yank my arm out of his grip and go back to John, but he blocks me, hurt crossing his face.

"Joonas said it was me. I didn't believe him but he was right wasn't he?" I don't meet his eyes with another glare so he knows Joonas must have been right. "Eela please, just call me okay? I want to talk about this. But not here. Not now."

I nod my head, if only to get rid of him and he finally drops his hand before thanking me and then leaving. I push myself into the bathroom and wipe the tears from my face, cleaning myself up before going back to the table with John. I slide under his arm, then put my head on his shoulder. "You okay?" he asks.

I look up at him, giving a small smile along with a yes. He tightens his grip around my shoulders before turning back to the group in front of him and rejoining the conversation.

-

I stare at my phone two days later, alone in John's bedroom- now our bedroom after I moved in last month. "Eela?" he calls, coming in with an improperly knotted tie around his neck. "Help please?" he asks pitifully. I rolly my eyes jokingly and get up, unkotting his tie then redoing it around his neck. I smooth down his shirt, then push a piece of hair from in front of his eyes while he looks at me.

"What?" I say, feeling self-conscious under his stare, moving to tug at his blazer.

"Nothing. I'm just gonna miss you."

I bow my head, letting go of his jacket as he moves to the side of the bed where his suitcase lays, ready to go to New York for game one and two of the next round of the playoffs against the Rangers.

"I'll be here rooting for you," I say, smiling, trying to make myself believe I can stay here alone for as long as he'll be gone. I may have done it successfully during the regular season countless times, but after the Tuukka incident, I feel less secure in being alone with my thoughts, all my past grievances against him resurfacing. I make a mental note to call Joonas once John leaves for his flight.

"You're sure you're okay? After Saturday you've seemed off."

I nod, "I'm fine. Stop worrying about me and play your game."

"It's been my job since day one to worry about you," he says, going out with me to the living room. He pulls me in and kisses my lips, then my forehead before whispering his final goodbye, promising me to call after he lands. I nod and he sighs before going out the door with one final glance back at me.

I fall back onto the couch after the door closes behind him and huff, pulling my phone out of my pocket. I go back to staring at what I was stuck on before John left, scanning over Tuukka's contact for the hundreth time, trying to find any nerve to call him. I was so held over on him being a horrible brother that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, but when we talked the other night he sounded and looked so sincere about wanting reconciliation.

I decide the only way I'm going to be able to sort this out is to call Joonas and ask what he thinks. He answers and the first thing out of my mouth is the question of whether to trust Tuukka or not. He sighs, "Eela, you need to trust your judgement. If Tuukka sounded sincere, he probably was and you should probably call him. If you don't think he was, then don't. It's simple."

"I was just so stuck on him being a piece of shit that I can't make myself forget how bad it got when he started ignoring me. And I don't think he gets that either."

"Then tell him that," Joonas says like it's the most obvious thing. I agree, suddenly wanting to get off the phone and then say goodbye to him before hanging up.

I flop back against the couch again, then pull up Tuukka's contact once more before finally pressing the call button.