I Feel More With Everyday That Goes By

I woke up before Morgan like always and decided to be productive for once on this spring break. I put on a pair of Under Armour capris and a tank top over my sports bra. I put on my neon running shoes. I made my way to the hotel gym and claimed a treadmill for myself. I put my phone in the water bottle holder after I put in my earbuds and started my running playlist. I let out a content sigh as King for a Day by Pierce the Veil featuring Kellin Quinn came blaring into my ears. I walked briskly for the rest of the song and when If You Can’t Hang started, I moved to a run.

I let myself get lost in the feel of my straining muscles and the peace it gave me. When I ran, I didn’t have the energy to think about anything other than how to move my legs. I lived my whole life in my head; I wasn’t an overly social person and would commonly be caught spacing out on my friends. I was always thinking of something even the minute before I went to sleep. I had an overactive brain and the only way I could successfully shut my thoughts out was through running. I liked the ability just to use brawns over my brains every once in a while. Ever since I went to college I had only used my brain. I no longer played sports or did anything that really involved physical strength over brain strength and I missed it. Running was a way to get a quick fix for that because I got to burn myself out in the least amount of time so I could rest up before continuing with the rest of my day.

I was not one of those awesome people that could run a horrendous amount of miles. I struggled to reach the mile mark most of the time. Admittedly I was way better at biking a whole bunch of miles in place of running. Once I finished my mile, I biked for a while until I got bored and decided to go upstairs and shower. I quietly let myself into the room in case Morgan was still sleeping. I rustled through my suitcase and got out a new pair of clothes before going into the bathroom. I quickly took a shower and changed into a pair of leggings and a loose fitting t-shirt. Morgan wasn’t going to be up for a while so I decided to go back to bed. What can I say? I like my sleep.

A little later I woke up to the sound of Morgan rustling around. I watched through a barely cracked eye as she took her phone off the night stand in between our beds and sleepily looked at her phone. The smile that lit up her face indicated that Ovechkin had texted her. She sent a text to him and before she could even put the phone back on the wood, it buzzed. Ovechkin shouldn’t be desperate, it was unattractive. “Hey Jen, we are going to lunch with Mike and Alex okay?”

I rolled my eyes of course I’m getting dragged along on this excursion. “Do I have a choice?”

She gave me one of those smug smiles and replied, “Nope, you’re going and you’re going to like it.”

I groaned and face planted back into my pillow. I lie there for a few minutes before I slid out of bed and grabbed a pair of skinny jeans, a black tank top, and a black vest. I changed in the bathroom and applied a little bit of makeup before letting Morgan use the bathroom. I was ready fairly quick so I just went back to my bed and read.

I was reading the Black Dagger Brotherhood series that Morgan recommended to me when there was a knock on our door at 11:40. I let out a sigh, of course, those two come right when someone gets kidnapped in my book. They should know not to announce their presence until I was done with the book. Jeez, I was such a bitch. Hanging out with Mike wasn’t all that much of a chore. He was very good company if I was being honest. I couldn’t explain why I didn’t want to be around him, probably because I knew I would end up liking him and that would just be messy. I was going to law school and I didn’t want to factor in a long distance boyfriend because I refused to change my plans for a boy, no matter how charming he was.

Morgan snapped me out of my thoughts by asking me if I was really okay with all this. I felt bad that I had been such a downer on her. I really wasn’t having as bad of a time as I was making it out to be. I was acting like this because Mike was getting under my skin more than I wanted him to be. He was a genuinely nice guy and there was really no reason for me to be acting like this. I should just throw caution to the wind and just go with it, but who was I kidding? The moment I was careless would be the moment I died. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just can’t believe we are really doing this.”

Her green eyes lit up with excitement mixed with happiness and I decided that I wouldn’t be a complete ass today for her so she could have fun. “I know, I can’t believe that this is happening after joking around so many times it’s finally happening. You ready?”

I nodded and replied, “Let’s do this.”

Morgan opened the door and hugged Ovechkin for a God-awful long time. Okay I was going to be nice. I was going to be nice. Fuck it, I’ll be nice after this, I cleared my throat obnoxiously. The pair broke apart with sheepish smiles on their faces. Alex greeted me and I gave him a nod in return before stepping past them and up to Mike.

“Hey darlin’,” Mike greeted with a small grin on his face.

“Green,” I greeted with a grin of my own. I offered him my hand and together we walked to the elevator. The four of us rode to the lobby and walked out and got into Mike’s escalade. He pulled out of the hotel parking lot and as he continued to drive I asked him, “Where are you from again Green Bean?” Might as well get some basics down because I had a feeling I wasn’t getting rid of Mike. Even if we decided to quit this weird should we shouldn't we dance and went our separate ways, Morgan and Alex would still factor into our lives and bring us together.

“Calgary,” he responded. “Are you a city girl or do you live in the ‘burbs?” He made a left turn at the traffic light. I shook my head a little at the sound of Morgan giggling. She and Alex were in the back bench seat talking to each other. They were both totally consumed with each other. As far as they were concerned, Mike and I had no relevance to them. They were just floating to the restaurant that’s how much they were paying attention to how they were getting to the restaurant.

I looked my window. It was a spectacular day surprisingly. There was not one cloud in the sky, but it wasn’t an overly hot day. The breeze kept my skin cool while the sun tried to keep me at a comfortable temperature. I was a winter person mainly because I was obsessed with winter sports and the fact that I got less migraines in the winter. Summer was just too hot to function. I’d rather look like the Michelin Man than be too hot and not be able to do anything about it. This was the kind of summer weather I liked. Not too hot and not too cold with a breeze. It was the perfect weather for jeans and a tee. Traffic was steady because it was approaching lunch hour, but Mike had Rise Against playing softly throughout the escalade so I was content where I was. “I live in a rural area. I lived in New Castle which was a small town about 45 minutes north of Pittsburgh. Just before high school, we moved to Jamestown, Pennsylvania. That’s an hour and a half north of Pittsburgh. It’s a very tiny town with one red-light. My house is pretty colossal and its a lake front property. It’s in the snow belt so we always get pounded with snow. My family likes to shoot guns in our back yard or fish. At night we have either a bonfire outside in the summer or one in the fireplace in winter. It’s awesome up there in the winter because we can play pond hockey or ice fish. Most of the time we go snow moiling though.”

“Look at that, something you will talk to me about, “ he said with a smirk.

I punched him in the arm playfully, “We didn’t have time to talk about anything else because you were supposed to leave me the fuck alone.”

Mike shrugged as he completed another turn, “Whoops. I missed that memo.”

“Yes you did,” I told him in a deadpanned tone. “So is Calgary a big city?”

“It’s reasonably big. I live in Chestermere now so I’m not in the city. I like the peace and quiet in the off season.”

I nodded along. I hadn’t lived in a big city or a big suburb in my entire life. I knew what he meant in a way. Cities were big and loud. There was always people everywhere and in your way. I liked small town living because of the lack of traffic and the big perk of not having a main road right by your house. I would not be a happy camper if I were to hear cars and horns going all night. I’m a light sleeper and have to wear earplugs because the slightest noise could wake me up. Needless to say I was an even bigger bitch when my sleep was disturbed. I was perfectly fine waking up by myself with an alarm or just naturally, but if someone else tried to disturb me I would be liable to bite your head off. I was a private person and big city living just wasn’t me. I couldn’t even fathom the idea of living or working in a place like D.C. Mike must have the patience of a saint to deal with this place. “I would never survive in a place like this. I’d either off myself or land in jail because I whacked someone that got in my way.”

“Jen,” Morgan said in a scolding tone, “What did I tell you about whacking people?” She looked into the side mirror outside in order to make eye contact with me through it.

I let out a mock angry huff, “That I’m not allowed to whack people unless I hide the body so well that the police can’t locate it,” I said with a smirk.

Mike looked at me with a dark eyebrow raised and a slight grin in place before looking back at the road. He made one last turn into the parking lot and quickly found a parking spot. The four of us walked into the restaurant and bar and were seated immediately. The petite hostess said that our server would be with us in a minute. We responded with polite smiles and thank yous.

I saw this chick coming from a mile away, or maybe that was the stench of her perfume. Let me tell you it was some kind of God awful. For one she sprayed way too much. Her jeans were at least three sizes too small. I had a feeling that if she bent over, she would either split her pants or display eight yards of ass-crack with her too tight shirt. I mean she was a grade A slut. She had that ‘notice me’ red lipstick on as well as a shit ton of makeup caked on her face. It may have been the small town, country girl in me but I think a woman is at her best when she looks the most natural. That didn’t mean she had to go without makeup, a little went a long way to enhance a woman’s beauty she already possessed. More than that I hated fake beauty. I wanted to see what a woman was, not what she wanted others to see. Needless to say, I was a big believer in being who you are no matter what.

This girl was clearly not being genuine and that just gave me a bad vibe about her. I hated posers and that’s exactly what this girl was, a body willing to be anything it had to be in order to get attention. That was probably my biggest pet peeve. I had gone to high school with about as many posers as I could take and I just wanted someone to own up to who they were or get out of my way. I didn’t use people and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let anyone use me or ignore me for that fact. It was just plain rude. I could totally see why she didn’t have eyes for Morgan and I. Seriously have you seen Mike Green? The man is gorgeous and Ovechkin…well there had to be something likable about him. I could get the need to impress them. Ignoring their friends though, not impressive. When I say ignoring Morgan and I, it may have been a drastic understatement. Not one glance our way, not one word to us, we might as well have been invisible because I was seriously beginning to think she really couldn’t see us.

She was doing everything she could to get the boys to notice her. She made eye contact, swayed her hips so much I feared she would dislocate one of them, flipped her hair like a champ, and smiled and laughed at everything. Seriously she was the most available woman I think I have ever seen that wasn’t a prostitute. Good Lord she was on my last nerve. I get that you want to get with them, they’re famous and all, but this amount of availability was just annoying. ‘Misty’ as her name tag read broke my last straw when she put my plate of spaghetti down and splashed some of the sauce on my arm. I winced at the burning sensation and glared at her as she lastly set Mike’s plate of salmon down and touched his arm tenderly promising him that if he needed anything, he just had to ask.

Get the fuck out of here bitch! Like really? Go to hell. Clearly he was here with me. He looks at me the whole time he talks to you to make sure I know who he really wants because you’re just too damn obvious. He is rubbing calming circles in between my shoulder blades because he knows how much your lack of manners is bothering me. He was acting like a devoted boyfriend.

Those facts alone made me want to rip Misty’s hair out. I didn’t want to know how good Mike could be to me. It also hit me at this moment that the fact that Mike could be perfectly capable of taking this girl home with him. I had no right to contest this and I couldn’t stand it. Mike was mine because he was interested in me. Not her. He wanted me, not her. Wait, what?

Nope, no, no, no I did not like Mike Green back. I couldn’t. I had known him for a hot second and that was not enough time to truly know him. I wanted to know what made him tick before I got involved with him, but now I just wanted to show this bitch who was boss. I cut up my noodles angrily and shoved some into my mouth. Not very lady like, but at least they weren’t hanging from my mouth waiting for me to slurp that shit up, that was just nasty. I heard a chuckle from beside me and looked over at a smirking Mike. “What?” I snapped.

“Don’t start acting like a jealous girlfriend or I’ll have to make an honest woman out of you,” he whispered into my ear, causing goosebumps to appear on the skin of my neck. I couldn’t distinguish if they were because of his hot breath or the words he said. I just looked at him completely speechless and flabbergasted. My body temperature spiked, letting me know that my entire body was crimson at the thought of him making an honest woman out of me. I wasn’t dead. He was a strong, attractive man. I’ll admit I wanted him on a physical level already. Sitting there in a pair of jeans that hung low on his hips, enough to know that if I lifted his shirt I would be able to see his hip bones protruding and his strong chest. His worn gray tee. He was attractive in the way that I wanted his arms around me to comfort me and to protect me from all he could because Mike Green looked like he could give one hell of a bear hug.

I grimaced. Please tell me that I didn’t actually want to have a cuddle session with Mike Green. I didn’t do cuddling and yet here I was thinking about how nice it would be to snuggle into his side and tuck myself under his chin and spend hours at a time just relaxing in his arms. Ughhhh just shut up Jen. You don’t cuddle.

I wanted to just storm out of this situation. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and Mike knew it. He knew that I didn’t like Misty looking at him. He was enjoying the fact that I wanted him all to myself. I was giving him the upper hand and that was definitely going to bite me in the ass. I had given him hardcore evidence that I was interested in him by acting standoffish to this waitress. He had shown me in every possible way that he wasn’t going to give this woman the time of day and yet here I was still wanting to slap a bitch silly. I’m sure it was written all over my face and in that moment I had blown every chance I had at negating Mike’s advances.

“Please,” I scoffed throwing him a disdainful look. “By all means, if you want her, go get her. I won’t stand in your way.” I could still try to get him to go away and hope like hell it worked by some miracle right?

Mike smirked and slid closer to me so that our thighs were touching under the table. He put a hand on the back of the booth behind me, not touching me, but boxing me in nonetheless. “Do you want me to go after her? How long do you think it would take me to get her to leave with me? Thirty seconds? A minute at most? How much does the thought of her in my bed bother you? I admire your ability to wait until marriage, but you know I haven’t. You’re still human, the thought of anyone with me like that but you has to sting. You won’t stand in my way, but it will drive you crazy to stand by and do nothing.”

I closed my eyes tightly to gather my wits about me. I debated on the merits of holding my breath so that his scent would not invade my senses and further impede my decision making. We both knew he had a valid point. Just because I wasn’t going to sleep with him until by some miracle that we got married didn’t mean I wanted him to be with anyone else because there might be a chance that a miracle could very well occur. I ignored his comments and ate my food silently. Mike seemed to let it go for now and dug into his own food, not making any space between us to do so. He remained close enough that our thighs and arms brushed against each other, something that usually bothered the hell out of me, but with him, I didn’t mind so much. Every time our arms brushed with a move of our forks, I entertained the idea of jumping his bones. I really just needed out of here.

Once we all had finished with our plates Misty came back and removed them for us. My moments of peace were instantly crushed. I shot Morgan a look that clearly said that we needed to think of a good place to stash this body cause I was going to lose my cool if we didn’t get out of here. She returned my look with an angry one of her own. She wasn’t mad at me of course, she was mad that Misty had the audacity to hit on someone she genuinely liked and was starting to have a relationship with in front of her. Her look told me she would like nothing more than to put Misty in her place.

I saw the moment the idea came into her mind. Her green eyes brightened from the angry dark they had been. The corner of her lips turned upwards into a conniving smirk. Her whole expression alluded to the fact that she had some kind of scheme to make sure Misty knew who Alex had come here with. I could tell that Misty had really pissed Morgan off and she was willing to go the extra mile to make sure Misty stayed the hell away from Alex. She had every right to because her and Alex’s relationship was further along than Mike and I’s and she, therefore, had more right to be pissed off than I did. I was still trying to make peace with the fact that I was pissed at the woman for putting the moves on Mike. I was trying to hold tight to the notion that I didn’t like Mike as anything other than a friend whereas Morgan knew without a shadow of a doubt that she liked Alex if left alone their relationship could develop. Misty was ruining that for her and if I was in her position I’d be more pissed than I was. She turned her gaze back to me and she was giving me this imploring look.

I wasn’t the smartest tool in the shed when it came to common sense. It really should have been obvious what she wanted me to do, but I was just not connecting the dots. I sent her a questioning look before I felt a gentle hand on my chin. My face was turned so that I would meet Mike’s coffee colored eyes. We looked at each other for a minute before Mike angled his face closer to mine and demanded softly, “Kiss me.”

I tried to contain how wide my eyes went and to keep my jaw from dropping. Who the hell just says that out of the blue? There was no moment leading up to that request! It just came out of nowhere and I was so thrown that I couldn’t even function enough to give him a coherent reply. I pleaded with him with my gaze asking him not to do this right now. We should really be talking about this in private. Not that Alex and Morgan wouldn’t find out eventually, I just didn’t want to hash this topic out right in front of our best friends. “W-What?” I asked aghast.

“That’s what Morgan is sending you the look for. She wants you to lay claim on what’s yours and she can lay claim on what’s hers so the waitress will finally back off,” he informed me. He let go of my chin and instead took my hand and placed it over his chest where I could feel the thump of his heart. He looked deep into my eyes and said once more, “Kiss me.”

“What’s gotten into you Green Bean?” I asked softly. He had been previously letting me figure my shit out on my own. Now he was suddenly throwing himself at me. I could definitely see us making leaps and bounds if he continued this path of action. He was a professional athlete, they could only bend over backward so much before he took his fate in his own hands. He knew how to work hard and now he would apply that work ethic to win me over.

I wasn’t stupid. I knew that I could only push him away so much before there was a backlash, but I was hoping the black lash would be him getting tired of me and just go away. His back lash response was to push harder. He was a man that if he got told no he would just work harder. This was both an admirable quality as well as an inconvenient one. It meant that I wouldn’t be able to just shrug him off and unfortunately his determination was a desirable quality. I was a strong-willed person that could only be with another strong-willed person. I liked that the man could make a decision for both of us, but he had to prove that he could do so first by bumping heads with me. Mike was doing just that. He was challenging me and pushing my buttons in order to get me to see things his way. Undoubtedly he thought that if I acted on my physical attraction for him, I would be easier to sway. Which was a very good possibility. He was a very kind person and I was just stalling in order to find a nonexistent flaw in him.

“You,” he replied simply.

I closed the distance and attached my lips to his. It was supposed to be just a lingering peck, but Mike put his hand on the back of my neck in order to keep me in place and moved his lips softly against mine for a little while longer. I didn’t hesitate to kiss him back. He didn’t push his luck though at this point I wouldn’t have put up any more of a fight until we split apart. He released me after another moment.

My face was a space heater when I met his gaze and I felt as if my heart was going to burst from the amount of adrenaline flowing through my body. I felt weightless and slightly light headed. I was afraid that I was going to faint when it hit me. I was in deep like with this man. I hadn’t felt this way for at least six years. The only other person that made me feel this way was Matt, a boy I loved in high school. I kept hoping that I would just forget about Matt when he went off to college, but I could never get too far away from him. He was a friend as well as a someone I wanted to constantly be near. I developed affection in a unique way. I did everything I could to chase them away before we started to get to know each other. Unlike most, I didn’t get nervous around the person I liked. I was a soft spoken person unless I was comfortable talking to someone. The man I would love would be the one I could go to with anything and without fear of judgment.

I knew that Mike would be someone like that for me. He had a great amount of patience when he needed to, he had enough kindness, and he would never judge me harshly in order to embarrass me whether on accident or on purpose. He would be the man that would be able to solve the rapid thought pattern that made up my brain and keeps up with my thought pattern. He would be the only one to fully understand my quirks and love them completely. I saw a lot of similarities between him and my high school sweetheart. He was an athlete, he was a go with the flow kind of man, and he was someone that had my back no matter what. No matter what I did he would always accept me for the person I was, mistakes and all. I needed that kind of person in order to be able to give my heart to someone and Mike was beginning to look a lot like that someone. I hid my face in the crook that connected his neck and shoulder.

Mike wrapped a strong arm around me and gently kissed the crown of my hair. “I’m yours already; that was just a formality,” he whispered. He knew how much that took out of me. I was strong by need and I didn’t depend on anyone to make me happy, to give him the ability to make me happy or sad was a big deal for me. The boys paid for our food without a fight from us girls. Mike kept an arm around me as we walked back to the car. The four of us decided to go back to Ovechkin’s house to watch a movie.

Ovechkin’s house was tops. Everything was state of the art and beautiful in the big two story house. There was a beautiful hardwood floor in the kitchen and white carpets everywhere else. There was a giant silver flatscreen TV on top of a glass television stand. This television in the game room downstairs was devoted solely to play video games. There was a futon that the players could sit on while they were playing. To the left of the TV was a billiard table and to the right was a ping pong table. Upstairs the game room led to the kitchen. It was too neat for me to believe that Ovechkin did anything in this room other than getting drinks out of the fridge. We walked through the archway bridging the kitchen to the living room. In fact, it was hard to believe a bachelor lived in this house at all because it was way too clean and orderly. I shrugged, a guy like Ovechkin could spring for a maid. Alex and Morgan sat on the light gray love seat that faced the flat screen TV while I sat on the couch directly in front of the TV. Mike put in a movie before he came to sit on the opposite side of the couch. I was pleasantly surprised that he had chosen Boondock Saints. Morgan had made me watch it our freshman year of college and I was quickly drawn in by the swearing twins and their shenanigans. When the cat got shot in the movie, I couldn’t help but yell along with Murphy, “Is it dead?”

Mike let out a chuckle and used one of his strong arms to gather me to his side. My body crashed into his broad chest with an ‘oomph.’ I looked up from Mike’s chest and raised a brow at him. “We look like two teenagers scared to sit next to each other because a parent is going to catch us.”

I grinned up at him because that was a completely true and fair statement before snarking, “Well maybe I just didn’t want to sit next to you.”

Mike grinned so big that I was afraid his eyes would sink into his head. He disentangled himself from me before laying his head on my lap. I let out a little snort, “Oh, I see how it is.”

“Just because you don’t want to cuddle with me doesn’t mean that I don’t want to cuddle with you.”

I rolled my eyes, “Whatever.” The rest of the movie went without incident and by Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day I found myself threading my fingers through Mike’s short brown hair. It was incredibly soft and thick. I gently scratched at his scalp with my nails. Mike’s whole body was jello. Within a few minutes of me messing with his hair, Mike’s breath evened out and he was sleeping soundly.

The movie ended and Morgan and I decided that we should make some dinner for the four of us. I didn’t want to wake Mike up because he looked completely adorable. When his eyes were closed and he was in a peaceful slumber, I could almost forget that he was in contention to win my affections. His dark eyelashes grazed his fair skin and my heart ached because it knew that it was already attached to the heart barely a foot away from it. To my heart, it didn’t matter that I had only known him for a couple days, my heart just knew that it was going to give itself over to Mike. It was not a matter of it but when. My heart wanted to say right now, but I forced my brain to take control of me. We barely new each other and while I felt a great deal for him in such a short time, I needed to slow down the woo-ing process in order to escape as much hurt for the both of us as possible. In matters of the heart, I really dragged my feet. Most of the time it scared suitors away but not Mike. My heart was telling my brain to give up the fight and throw caution to the win, while my brain was trying to tell my heart that it was stupid because the brain was only trying to save the heart from unnecessary pain. My brain totally thought heartbreak was unnecessary pain that it was not willing to go through.

It all could be chalked up to I was afraid of getting my heart broken, which I guess is part of it but mostly I was trying to be stingy with my love because when I loved, I loved with a force that was not to be reckoned with. Once my heart took over, I loved completely and recklessly and that was something that was hard to change even if my significant other’s feelings changed. I didn’t want to give love to someone that was fickle because when I loved someone I was devoted. Devotion was almost impossible to break for me. I’d rather not risk the heart break in order to stay at an even temperament throughout my life. Some say that wasn’t really living but I didn’t care. Better sorry than safe was just a Halestorm song to me. I was always safe and I would continue to act in that fashion.

I slid slowly and carefully out from under Mike but unfortunately, I still jostled him enough for him to wake. “Where are you going?” he asked, his voice raspy from sleep. I just wanted to kiss him right then and there. The side of his head that had been on my lap had hair every where. His brown eyes were barely open. He was at a half sitting position when he had asked the question but quickly laid his head back down on the plush couch cushion. I put my small hand on the back of his neck and rubbed it gently. He let out a groan of satisfaction and closed his eyes once more. “Stay with me,” he said.

“I’m going to go help Morgan cook some dinner. Go back to sleep Green Bean.” Without another word I stood from the couch and went to take a step away when he gently took hold of my left hand and pressed his lips to the back of my cold skin, “Thank you.” I wanted to blame it on the fact that his warm lips were a stark contrast to my freezing skin, but I would be lying. The shiver that attacked my body was not warm meeting cold in a physical way but in a metaphorical way. That had to be the sweetest and warm hearted gesture towards me that I have ever encountered.

In that moment, I realized that it didn’t matter if I knew him well enough to finish his sentences or know his favorite movie, those things would come with time. What I knew in that moment without a shadow of a doubt was that Mike would never intentionally hurt me. His eyes told me that what he said to me the first time we met was something he knew in the depths of his bones; Mike was right, we were never meant to be just friends with each other. The more I got to know Mike the more I would like him, our being together was inevitable. It was fated in a way that I would never understand how Mike picked up on it so fast.

I simply nodded in response before rushing into the kitchen. I hopped right into making a salad so Morgan didn’t know that I had this earth shattering epiphany. I needed a little tome to myself to come to terms with the fact that Mike was going to be such a staple in my life for the time being. God this was such a head rush. After years upon years of taking care of myself and being the only person I needed in my life, I was willing to admit I couldn’t, I didn’t want to move into a future in which Mike was no a part of. I remained fairly quiet through making dinner, only singing along to the radio Morgan had put on and listening to Morgan bust out random lines from the Boondock Saints.

We walked back into the living room with our meals. Morgan had her plate and a plate for Alex. I had a bowl of cut up noodles with sauce on top and a plate for Mike. I handed Mike his plate silently. He took it and kissed my cheek as a thank you. He was going to kill me before this night was over I swear. It was almost as if I had been repressing any kind of feeling I had for the past couple of days and the feeling dam had finally broken. No, I wasn’t going to burst into tears and confess my undying love for him, but I now knew how pointless it had been to fight my feelings for him. He was bound to get under my skin, it was just a matter of time.

Ugh, I hated feelings. The way I felt light headed and my heart felt like it was just going to burst in my chest was so unfamiliar to me. I didn’t know why anyone wanted to feel this way. I felt like I was sick and even though I knew that I wasn’t. These type of out of body feelings were completely foreign to me and I just didn’t know how to process anything about this. I decided to forget about all this confusing shit as Alex turned on the Penguins hockey game. I threw all my energy into the game and may or may not have cheered with unnecessary force so I didn’t revert back to all these thoughts.

When the game ended Mike took Morgan and I back to our hotel. He, much like Alex, walked us to the door much to my protest before Morgan roughly punched me in the arm so I would agree.

We reached our door after walking from the elevator to the end of the hall. Morgan immediately went inside to give Mike and I some privacy. As soon as the door clicked closed Mike had his hands on my waist and was pushing me back into the wall. He cupped my cheek in his hand, “Go to dinner with me after the game tomorrow.”

“No,” I said. Then I wanted to smack myself in the face. I didn’t mean flat out no. I just meant that I didn’t want to hang out after the game. I would be tired and he sure as hell should be tired too. I wanted to do something before the game so they could fully enjoy each other’s company. I let out a huff at his dejected face as he removed his hand from my cheek. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him to me. “I didn’t mean it like that. I can function better in the morning than late at night.”

He turned his face in the crook of my neck, not even bothering to move my hair out of the way. “Okay,” he mumbled. “You’ll come to morning skate with me and then come back to my house for a pre game nap so we can go to dinner with Brooks and Meghan after the game.”

I chuckled, “Fine, but only because Meghan is awesome.”

He lifted his head so that I could see the smile on his face as he rolled his eyes at me playfully. “Deal. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. I’ll pick you up at nine.”

“Okay.”

He kept looking into my eyes as if searching for some kind of answer to a question he didn’t ask. I was pretty sure I knew what was coming, but I chose not to believe that he was going to kiss me. Once was enough for today. I couldn’t handle any more big epiphanies. “Kiss me,” he said. Okay, never mind. Apparently he was totally fine with giving me a brain aneurism.

I bit my lip and sent him a small, innocent smile as I replied, “Nope.”

“Please?”

“No!” I said laughing. Wrong choice because when I was distracted by laughing at him, he closed the space between us and put his lips on mine. It was much like the kiss earlier that day. It was soft, sweet, and respectful. He had the ability to control the kiss without pushing for more. He lead by the way I kissed him back, never overstepping his boundaries. I put my hands on his broad shoulders before slipping my finger tips through his soft hair.

It was so soft that I couldn’t believe it. I reminded me of the feel of a cashmere sweater. It made me want to just touch it all day because there was something calming about your finger tips coming into contact with something like Mike’s hair or a sweater. I moved my face to the opposite side and Mike quickly accommodated me. God, he was too perfect to be real. There was not a moment in this kiss where I felt uncomfortable, like him trying to shove his tongue into my mouth like a horny teenager. He kissed me like he had days upon days to waste and I loved it.

It might have been my favorite quality about Mike. He knew what he wanted, but also knew what I wanted and had the maturity to restrain himself in order to respect my wishes. I was totally sure he knew I had absolutely no experience with guys and was willing to make me comfortable instead of forcing his will onto me. Sure he probably wouldn’t have minded deepening the kiss, but he was able to hold that desire back in order to be a gentleman. Manners definitely mattered to me and the way that he was acting just made me like him all the more.

I decided to have pity on his patience and not be such a bitch about life. I tentatively and gently tapped one of his lips with my tongue before opening my mouth a little from the closed mouth kisses we had been giving each other. His hand came to the back of my neck again before he deepened the kiss a little.

The feeling of his tongue against mine sent shock waves throughout my being. I didn’t really know if he was a good kisser since I had little experience myself, but I could never say that I didn’t enjoy kissing Mike Green. He gently pulled me flush against his body as he continued to sensually assault my mouth. We stayed locked in our embrace for a little while longer until Mike slowed the kiss to a stop. He kissed me lightly on the cheek before he told me, “I’ll see you tomorrow at 8.”

I nodded before I clumsily opened the door of our hotel room and shut it behind me. I tried to will my cheeks to return to normal color because I knew there was a blush to them. I took a deep breath before I walked through the entry way and into the main part of our room. We had sprung for a Holiday Inn with two queen beds.

The room had a soft, beige carpet for the whole room except the bathroom that had a white tiled floor. We had the usual kind of bathroom, but the sink was outside in its own section instead of in with the shower and the latrine. The furniture of the room was one recliner, a table with a black computer chair, and there was a television on top of the dresser that had a light wood stain to it to match the beside table in the middle of the beds. I’ll admit, there were clothes strewn about since we had been in the hotel for a few days, but it was a controlled chaos compared to a tornado.

I silently ignored the questioning look on Morgan’s face as I grabbed some clothes to sleep in. I changed into a pair of baggy gray sweat pants, a sports bra, and a black cutoff. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before walking back into the main room and flopping on my designated bed.

“So?” Morgan asked.

“Uh….hi?” I asked in response to her. purposely ignoring the topic she wanted to discuss ‘cause let’s face it, I didn’t want to discuss that shit. I just don’t talk about these things. Hell, I don’t talk about these things at all. I grew up with a brother and we never broached that topic…ever. I also wasn’t going to tell my friends in high school this kind of shit because one, they were all dudes and two, they were also my brothers’ friend. That would just be awkward.

“How’d it go?”

“He fucking kissed me okay?” I said exasperatedly. Part of me had no patience to deal with the Spanish Inquisition that I was going to get if I didn’t just give the details right away, but I also wanted to shout to the world that Mike Green kissed me, but that wasn’t my style. Instead, I made peace with the fact that I would internally shout it out to the world. That was my style anyway. I wasn’t in tune with my feelings other than when I felt them and when I couldn’t handle them anymore and had to face them within myself.

“‘Bout fucking time,” she said with a smirk. She turned in her bed, to her side in order to face me. Her smile was radiant which made me feel bad. Here I was being such a brat this entire spring break when my best friend wanted nothing but her happiness and my own. She knew maybe before I did how much Mike meant to me. She was a good friend, no matter who she wanted to see. She was willing to put so much energy in wanting happiness for me that the least I should do was return the favor.

“Morgan?” I said with a serious tone so she knew not to poke fun at me.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bear all this time. I really want you to be happy. If that happiness comes with Ovechkin and as long as he treats you right, I’ll be more civil. I want you to be happy and if Alex makes you that way then so be it.”

“Wow,” she replied momentarily shocked. We made eye contact and she nodded once before a shit eating grin took over her face, “You got that much insight from a kiss. Damn it must have been incredible.”

I rolled my eyes. I knew she took my words to heart by the nod before the joke. The way she took a crack at me told me she had forgiven my transgressions. She had such a way of keeping things light in serious situations. “Yeah fuck you,” I said with a grin. I wouldn’t know what I’d ever do without Morgan.

Her phone buzzed and I figured it was Alex so I just settled into my very comfortable bed and watched the movie that was on our tv before I felt my eye lids getting heavy and I succumbed to sleep.