Assistants and Dearest

Why am I so shaken up? I get it, Vic and I got caught, but it's gotten to me way more than I thought it would.

The last day has been awkward between Vic and I. He always offers me his attention, but then I decline.

I wanna be okay, I really do, but this is become so fucking hard.

Usually the pressure of getting busted with Vic is a side effect, but right now it's pressuring me, and it's worrying me. What if we get caught by his father next time? Will he ever know? Will anyone ever know?

I'm dazed and confused, and my thoughts just won't sort themselves out. This isn't like me, this isn't who i usually am, is it?

"Kellin?" I heard Vic ask on the other side of the door.

"Yeah?" I asked meakly, sitting criss cross on the bed, swaying my self slightly.

"Can I come in?" I sighed.

"Y-yeah." The door opened, then closed quietly as Vic made his way to the bed. He sat on the edge and looked at me

"Are you mad or-"

"I'm not mad." I snapped, defending myself. "Just shaken up."

"Well it's been over a day, you need to calm down." His arm stretched out in hope to grab my hand, but I moved away.

"I'm just worried we're going to get busted by your dad. A-and then...I'm gonna lose you." I sighed again, hiding the stress behind my expressions. But fuck, I was stressed.

"Babe don't worry, we won't. It was my fault, and I'm so sorry. But don't push me away, not right now." I looked at him, then nodded.

Silence filled the gap between, rather than either of us closing it. I wanted to hug him, or cuddle with him. But I knew he had somewhere to go, his shoes were on. And as on cue, he spoke again.

"I gotta take Mike to that party now." I nodded.

"Have fun." He stood up and huffed, straightening out his red, plaid shirt that fit him perfectly.

"And you're coming with." He stated, grabbing my hand before I could protest.

"What? No way am I-"

"You're. Going. Get dressed." He let go of me and walked out of the room leaving me to myself.

I had two options here. I could protest and argue my way out of going to this party, or I could suck it up and go. And since I'm not in the mood to put up a fight with Vic tonight, I threw on a nice shirt and walked downstairs, meeting Vic by the door. Mr. Fuentes glanced at me, causing me to shiver.

He never apologized for freaking out, even though we found the papers at work today. He did say thought that I could stay here, which was a grand amount of relief. But I still knew he had something against me, I'm just unsure of what that is.

"C'mon." Vic said, handing me my coat. i threw it on and walked out to the car, getting in the back because Mike already called shotgun.

So we drove through the darkness for what seemed like an eternity, but was really only an hour. When we arrived, I saw a house with flashing lights appear, and instantly I knew that's where we going. I panicked.

I've always been kind of socially awkward, so I never was fond of parties.

"Kellin, are you coming?" I heard Mike asked once outside his door.

"Oh, y-yeah." I pushed the door open quickly and slid out, slamming the door a little too hard. I made sure to walk right next to Vic. His hand laced with mine, causing me to smile.

"Eww." Mike said, glancing at our hands. Instinctively, I yanked away, but Vic gave me a stern look and grabbed my hand again, this time leaning in and kissing my cheek.

"Yup, gay love." Vic teased. I laughed against my will.

When we finally reached the house, I held my breath. It was even louder and bigger than I expected.

"Well, have fun you two." Mike said before hurrying off into the lawn towards a girl. I watched as he planted a kiss on her lips, so I assumed that was his girlfriend. I bit my lip before turning to Vic and kissing him softly. I pulled and gripped his hand tighter.

"It's okay Kellin, we don't have to stay..." I shook my head.

"No. I need to get over this, let's go." I pulled him through the door and into the mass crowd of people dancing to shitty music with red cups in their hands. We weaved our way through the biggest crowd into the kitchen where Vic grabbed a couple glasses and poured himself and I some vodka. I cringed at the bitter taste.

"Don't like it?" He asked, laughing a little. I nodded, grabbing a beer from the cooler.

"Better." I said in a sigh, taking another sip. Vic chuckled at me nonchalantly.

"Pass me one." He requested, so I unzipped the cooler and grabbed another beer, handing it to him. "Thanks." He popped the cap before pressing the bottle against his lips. I looked away, biting my lip slightly. I was having fun, but I was also worried and scared.

"Let's go." I said to Vic, clutching his wrist and pulling him back into the room. I found a free spot on the couch and pulled him down with me. His hand squeezed mine.

Teens were pretty much everywhere to be seen, either drinking or making out with, well, probably a stranger. It was pretty disturbing. They were also blasting rap music, which made the scenario way worse. People began to get up a dance, but not even true dancing. Most like grinding on each other. I scrunched my nose up and disgust. it'd be a different story if it was Vic and I, though.

"Do you wanna go?" He asked, meeting my worried expression. i shook my head at him.

"No, I wanna stay." He nodded, taking another swig of his beer.

And two hours later, we were wasted. It escalated rather quickly, from three beers to ten, I couldn't count the difference now. All I know is Vic looks hot in plaid.

"You look hot in plaid." I stated, slurring.

"Thanks." He grinned widely before crashing his lips on mine, tugging my bottom lip for entrance. I let him.

The make-out session went on longer than I expected it to before I tugged on his hand and pulled him up the stairs. Most rooms were occupied, but at the very end of the hall, I found an empty bedroom.

Slamming the door shut, my lips immediately met Vic's again. This time, I wasn't holding back anything. I wanted him here and now.

So with that, I shoved Vic lightly onto the bed, crawling on top and grinding against him. He moaned, kissing my neck slowly. More and more by each second I felt turned on.

"Shit." I heard him gasp, his breath reeking of alcohol. I loved it though. My head buried into his neck, kissing it a few times.

Vic gripped my hips and flipped us over, still being as dominant as ever. He pushed against me again before tugging my shirt off. My fingers worked on his button up shirt.

Things were heated now, so hastily, I got up and locked the door. Crawling towards him again, I unbuckled his belt and played with his zipper before pulling his pants down. He smirked. And to wipe that smirk of his face, I pressed my palm against his hard on, moving it quickly. Vic's breath stifled as he fell back. I smiled in accomplishment.

When I went to stroke Vic, an unfamiliar feeling appeared in my gut. And it wasn't the ecstasy feeling, where you know you're gonna feel amazing.

Quickly, I pulled away from him and clamped my hand over my mouth, afraid that I would throw up any time now. Vic sensed what was wrong, so he scurried off the bed and handed me a trash can.

I threw up immediately, which was unpleasant. But, it could've been worse. Vic stood behind me, rubbing circles on my back with his thumb. He handed me a tissue when I pulled away.

How disgusting that must've been to witness.

I cleaned my mouth before attempting to smile at Vic. What turned into a good night changed quickly into a bad one.

I shouldn't have had that last beer.

"Here." Vic whispered, handing me a couple pieces of gum.

"Thank you." I replied hoarsely, tossing both into my mouth. Vic smiled before pecking my lips. "Ew, why would you want to kiss me after that?" I joked.

"Nothing would ever make me want to not kiss you." He replied quickly, catching my gaze. His lips met mine again, and he kissed them longer this time before pulling away and pulling me back onto the bed.

We got under the sheets and snuggled before I spit out the gum and found myself falling fast asleep Vic's warm arms.

I guess this is better than nothing.