Assistants and Dearest

"Kellin? Kellin are you in there?" I heard when I awoke in the morning. I knew it was Vic, and the tired, senseless part of me almost got up and let him in.

But then I remembered last night.

"Kellin I know you're in there." He said, pounding on the door again.

"Go away." I muttered, not willing to talk with him much longer.

I fucking hate his guts right now.

"Let me explain Kellin he-"

"Save it." I got out of the bed and went into the closet.

I had made up my mind. In my bag was a wad of cash that I had earned from working with Vic and other places. The audit is in a few days, so what's the point in sticking around? What's the point staying for someone who obviously doesn't give a fuck about you?

I grabbed the suitcase and dragged it out, filling it with my stuff quietly.

When I unlocked my door and opened it, I was surprised to see Vic sitting there, looking at me apologetically. I saw past it though. It was an act. In fact, he was an act.

"Kellin, what're you doing?" He asked me quickly, glancing at the suitcase and shaking his head.

"I'm leaving." Was all I said before shoving past him and towards the door. He caught me by the arm, spinning me around towards him.

"No no no Kellin, please don't leave me." He begged. "I love you Kellin please d-don't l-leave me." He said, tears now in his eyes. I felt a pain of regret in my gut, but I knew this wasn't true.

I should've left earlier.

"Please forgive me Kellin, I can explain it-"

"I can't forgive you." I choked out. It hurt to admit the truth.

How could I forgive him? It's not that easy to recover from a heartbreak, especially one of the cheating realm.

"I've gotta go." I whispered to him, hand on the door knob. Surprising enough, he didn't pull me back this time.

"Kellin." I heard him say. I turned around and met his red, puffy eyes. "I won't force you to stay, but if you walk out the door, I lose you. You lose me. I'm sorry." Was all he said, wiping at the tears.

With a sigh, I thought over his statement. He was right. If I walked out this door I wouldn't have him anymore, he wouldn't have me. But it's apparent he doesn't want me anymore.

That just pushed me off the edge. What I did next was out of spite.

I turned the knob and walked out of the house, not missing Vic's astonished expression.

☆ ✰ ✮ ✯

So where to now? I have no home, no job, no Vic. I just threw everything down the drain.

And here I am, sitting in town on the curb waiting for nothing in particular. Maybe I need to check into a hotel and then find a place to rent, and then go from there. In my mind, things seemed easy, but I knew deep down things were all wrong. I wasn't going to be okay for now, but eventually I would be. The only thing that bothers me is I know this isn't the last time I'll ever see Vic. And when I do, I won't be okay.

Seeing him isn't okay.

I was so naive to believe I was good enough for someone. I'm pushy, I'm rude, I'm just not a good person in general, so could I blame him for disliking me? That's probably why he didn't come after me.

But you wanna know who did?

A car rolled up next to, pulling off the curb. It wasn't until the door opened that I took suspicion to the car. And who stood there?

None other than Mike Fuentes.

"Kellin, can we talk?" I sighed before grabbing my suitcase handle.

"No." I huffed, no longer thoughtful.

"We need to talk about last night." He said firmly, grabbing my arm much like Vic had earlier. I shook my head, trying to tear away from him, but he wouldn't let go. In fact, an ounce of pain made it's way to my wrists.

"You can't just leave Kellin. Please don't be this way. Let him explain." He looked at me, his eyes pleading mine. "He's so hurt right now Kellin, When I came home I knew something had to have happened. I need you to let him explain." My eyes got watery. Why did they always have to do this to me?

But finally, I spoke. "Fine." He let go of me and we got into the car, driving off towards his house.

It was no longer mine I guess.

When we got inside, I saw Vic sitting on the couch, head buried in his hands. I felt bad for him, just about as much I feel.

"Kellin?" He asked, looking up at Mike and I. Mike gave me a sly smile before walking out of the room, leaving Vic and I alone. I stood still, avoiding Vic's gaze. "Come sit." He directed, so I did, on the other side of the couch.

And I couldn't help but to smile. This was the same position we were in before our first actual kiss. Except now, that wasn't what was going to be the outcome. My smile faded as he spoke again.

"Can I explain?" He asked, grabbing my hand. I pulled out, but nodded. He let out a sigh, glancing at me. "Okay, here's what happened. I need you to believe me. Kellin, I never meant to hurt you. The guy that I kissed last night, his name's Tyler. We dated awhile back, but I broke things off with him. He hurt me, he did unforgivable things. I wanted to know why he did those things to me. So, I took him out there. He kissed me and told me he still loved me." I looked at him. "And then I saw you. I saw your pretty eyes, and it confirmed what I said next. I told him I didn't love him back, I couldn't love him. I love you." My heart fluttered, but the feeling soon faded.

"How did he hurt you?" I finally asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

"Sexually." Was all he said. My heart broke more than it ever had. Vic had been sexually abused?

I thought back to Matty.

There was only one thing worse than being persuaded have sex; Being forced to.

"I'm sorry." Was all I said. He shook his hand.

I wanted to comfort him, really I did. But I couldn't bring myself to do so. He still betrayed me.

"Can you ever forgive me?" He asked after a few minutes, I looked back at him.

"Maybe." I saw him smile slyly. "But not now." His face went monotone again.

Vic broke my heart, and even though there was a reason, that didn't make everything better. Could I trust him again? Maybe I can forgive him for what he did, but trust is another thing. He told me he was going to the store, not to go see his ex boyfriend.

"Why didn't you just tell me the truth?" I blurted out.

"I thought you'd get mad at me..." I shook my head.

Maybe I would've been uncomfortable about it, but I wouldn't have stopped him. Most of this argument could've been avoided if he would've told me the truth.

"Well, you still should've..." I choked out. I just wanted to leave.

"Well, I didn't solely lie. I did go to the store, but then I went to him."

I shook my head before standing up.

"Tell Mike I said you're welcome." Was all I said before grabbing my bag and walking out the house again, ignoring Vic's pleads to stay.