Assistants and Dearest

The papers were neatly organized on my desk. I came in early this morning, just to make everything look clean and correct. Plus, I had extra mail to do since we didn't have work yesterday. Yesterday was also the day I kissed Vic, and more importantly, he kissed me.

The door opened abruptly as Vic stormed in, looking furious. Okay, so not a good day?

"Uh...hi." I said, now timid. Vic turned to me, and his eyes softened, but then quickly filled with anger again. He sat down without replying.

"What's wrong?" I asked after a few minutes passed, making my way over to him. I stopped a few inches away from him. He turned towards me.

"Not worth talking about." He replied rather calmly.

"You can tell me...I'll uh, lis-"

"Go work." He cut in, snapping his head away. I nodded slightly before going back to my desk. Was it me that made him so mad?

I shouldn't have kissed him, I knew this would backfire. It's be a fairytale if he would've liked the kiss as much as I did, but no, this world isn't a fairytale. I sighed before putting some papers into the aquired stacks and going on to do the employees time cards.

"Kellin?" I heard Vic say faintly. Hastily, I looked up and dropped my pen, giving him a nod. "Sorry for being a bitch this morning..." I nodded again. "My dad and I got into a argument and I just didn't want to talk..."

"Oh..." I said warily. "I was kind of worried it was about our-"

"Yeah, about that..." He said before I could finish. "That probably wasn't, um, smart of me to do...I think I gave you the wrong idea." My heart dropped. He didn't like it.

"You didn't like it." I stated more than questioned. His head shook back and forth.

"It's not that, it's just not appropriate and it's wr-"

"It's wrong, its inappropriate, but you like it." I interrupted. He sighed.

"I can't say I didn't like it. I just don't want a relationship."

"We don't have to-"

"I'm not screwing around with someone I'm not in a relationship with." He said firmly.

"I quit." I stated without thinking. That wasn't smart, I needed the money to pay my bills!

"Please, please don't. You're a good assistant and we need each other. You need the money, I need the help." I sighed. He was right, I couldn't quit. Finding a new job would be tricky, considering I had nothing on my resume.

"Fine, maybe I can't quit, but just...leave me alone."

"I don't want you to dislike me because I can't be with you Kellin." His hand went through his hair as he let out a frustrated sigh. I had to constrain myself from staring.

"Well I just don't understand why you're holding back."

"I cannot lose this job, Kellin." I looked back to him. "This is all I have, this is the only way I'm going to get a house of my own, and start a life."

"Lock the doors, it's not that hard."

"We wouldn't be able to be in public together."

"Who cares, I like being alone with you anyways."

Vic continued with the list, and each time I gave him another good reason why he's inaccurate. And every time we figure out I was right, I took a step towards him. It wasn't until I was standing right before him that I knew what was going on.

"Most importantly...it's wrong." He said more quietly, probably because I was close enough to hear him.

"But so right." I replied as usual, my arms wrapping around his neck.

"No. No, no, no, no." He pushed me away, leaving me in my thoughts again. "W-we need to switch, like um."

"Switch?" I asked curiously.

"Yes, we both need this job, but you need to work for someone else, and I need a new assistant." My heart dropped even more.

"That's what you really want?" He looked conflicted, but he finally nodded.

"I'm sorry Kellin, it's for the best. I'll ask around and make sure you get a good, um, boss or something." I nodded.

"I'm going home." I said faintly, grabbing my bag before rushing out the door. I screwed this up again.

Tears fell from my eyes with ease. How could I care about one man so much? I mean, it's better than quitting, but the thought of not working for and being with Vic hurt. And the part that hurt the most was that it's what he wanted. But I knew Vic, and I knew that'd he try to find someone good for me. Vic cared, or so I thought he did. Maybe it's all an act, I can't decipher it by now.

And also, why was I so damn emotional? I never cry about things like this. But I guess I got too attached, and that doesn't surprise me. It also didn't surprise me that Vic didn't follow me this time. Because this time, his words meant what they said.

Back at home, I watched Netflix, ate, and watched videos for to remainder of my day. I was too shaken up to even go out. I considered calling Oli, but then I remembered it's wrong, and illegal. I really wish I wouldn't have befriended some of the people I did in high school. He was the only guy who made me feel worth something though, I was highly vulnerable, such as I was with Vic a few times. I'm not always as tough as I seem.

Their was a knock on my door. My heart sped up as I made my way to it, praying to god it was Vic. But it wasn't, it was the man I so desperately wanted to see, but also the man I hated. Matty.

"What do you want?" I said, closing the door slightly.

"Please let me in Kellin, I want to talk." I had two options here, and unfortunately, I opened the door and watched him walk in.

"If you're trying to get back with me-"

"No, no, I just wanted to talk..."

"Sure." I muttered, but I didn't object to him being here. I wanted anyone here, even him would do.

"So, what's new with you?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

"Hmm, not much, what about you? Who's your new man whore?" I asked bitterly. Matty glared at me.

"As a matter of fact, what I was doing, I quit." Was this true? "I quit because I realized you're the one that I care about, and I'm so, so sorry I hurt you."

"Bullshit." I spat.

"You can believe it or not, but I truly am sorry, I hope you can forgive me." Could I?

It has been a long time since Matty and I have spoken, maybe it was enough time for him to think. Who am I kidding?

"I don't know..." I said, letting his persuasiveness get the best of me.

"C'mon, you gotta forgive me Kellin..." He said lightly, looking at me with those big eyes that I fucking hate and love so much.

I let out a sigh. "Fine. But this is your only chance to prove yourself." He smiled.

"Great, thank you." I smiled slightly.

And before I knew it, our conversation turned into a continues one that went on for a good couple of hours. I sat and I told him everything, even about Vic. Matty always made me want to talk openly, mostly because I knew he wouldn't judge me. I even admitted about hanging out with Oliver.

"Stay away from him Kellin, you're too beautiful to be into these things." He said, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. My cheeks went red.

"Thank you, but I'm not beautiful."

"You, Are, Amazing." He said smiling at me. I smiled and looked away, being insecure as usual. It wasn't until Matty looked at me the way he used to that I completely was aware of what was happening.

He closed the space between us and kissed my lightly, but I didn't feel anything like I used. I felt like I was missing something. That spark wasn't there anymore, and I know why. I'm not in love with Matty anymore, I can't be when I'm really into Vic. But Vic doesn't like me back, so I went along with it.

The kiss got more feverish as Matty gripped my hips, kissing me harder and deeper.

"Let me make you feel beautiful." Matty breathed, resting his forehead against mine. Without thinking, I nodded.

And there I was, letting Matty grip my hands and pull me towards the bedroom, and I couldn't put up a fight because that's how shitty I felt.