Black & White

January 11, 2020

Halvo parked his car in front of his apartment building and looked up at it with a sigh. He was not looking forward to returning home. Mostly because he missed Chaney. But almost equally because he wasn’t looking forward to the conversation that would almost inevitably take place. He had no idea how he was going to approach the topic. It had been such a taboo subject in the past, and now that it was staring him in the face, he had no choice but to tell them. He wouldn’t deny the nerves he felt building inside him.

He got out of the car and grabbed his bag from the backseat. He couldn’t avoid them forever. This conversation had to happen and soon. It was Saturday, but he had to be back in Tempe by the end of the week so he and Chaney could start apartment hunting. He promised her he would be back by then. So he couldn’t just suddenly disappear from his life here. He had to talk to them.

To kill time, he opted to take the stairs up to the 8th floor where they resided. He was putting off this conversation as long as possible. He eventually made it to their floor and down the hallway to the apartment he lived in. With a sigh, he reached into his pocket to pull out his keys and unlock the door.

“Halvo?” a female voice called from the kitchen.

“Hey Steph, I’m home.”

“Uncle Halbo!” a young male voice came from the other side of the apartment. It was quickly accompanied by the sound of tiny feet running across the hardwood floors as he came running towards the living room. “Uncle Halbo!” he called out again as he tackled Halvo’s legs in a hug.

He smiled at the gesture. “Hey there, Squirt,” he chuckled. He bent down and picked the boy up and held him on his hip as he walked to the kitchen where Stephanie was cooking dinner.

She put down the utensils she was using to cook dinner and walked across the kitchen to place a kiss on her son’s head. “Jacob Eric, don’t pester your Uncle Halvo. He just got back from visiting his friends in Arizona,” she lightly scolded as she grabbed him from Halvo’s arms and pecked Halvo on the corner of his mouth. “How was the trip? How were the guys?” she asked. She had moved him to her hip as she resumed making dinner.

“Uh, the guys are great, yeah. I uh, hung out with John and his fiancee Kelly a lot...had an engagement party for them...and myself,” he mumbled the very end. He quickly walked over to the fridge to grab himself a beer.

Stephanie’s eyes went wide as she shot a look to Halvo, who’s back was to her as he was hidden by the refrigerator. She set her son down. “Eric, go on and play in your room. I wanna talk to your Uncle Halvo for a bit ok? Dinner will be ready in a little bit.” She gave him a kiss on the top of his head and waited until she saw him run down the hall into his room before turning back to Halvo.

Halvo could tell by her sickly sweet tone of voice to the kid, that he was about to get chewed out. He grabbed an extra beer and turned around to face Stephanie with a sheepish expression.

“Engagement party for you? And just who would you be engaged to?” she asked as she crossed her arms across her chest. “Who could you possibly have met in that short time to--wait. No. Fucking. Way.” She shook her head incredulously and returned to the stove where she was stirring whatever was in the pot.

“What?” he asked confused as he walked over to her, a beer in each hand. He set one down on the counter next to her as he popped the top off the other and took a hearty swallow. “I don’t get why you’re so bent out of shape about it.”

“Seriously Halvo? Chaney?!”

“What? You guys were best friends once. Why are you so anti-Chaney now?” he asked a bit hostile as he took another swig of his beer.

“Because she screwed you over…” she stated obviously.

“Yeah...because of you. The deterioration of my relationship with Chaney happened because of you. I had to keep your secret which drove a wedge between her and I. So I don’t understand why you seem so shocked that we would one day end up back together.”

Stephanie had to bite her tongue to keep from yelling at him. Especially with Eric around who could probably hear them. “Halvo, I can’t have this conversation right now with EJ still in the house. I’d rather save this conversation for when he won’t be listening to us fight,” she replied sternly as she turned back to finish dinner.

He rolled his eyes and grabbed the other beer off the counter. “I’ll be in the living room.”

Halvo made his way to the couch and sank into the cushions as he laid down, setting his other, unopened bottle on the side table by the couch and keeping a hold on the one in his hand. He reached for the remote on the table and turned on the TV when he felt something land on his legs. He looked down and saw Eric attempting to crawl on his legs. He laughed a bit. “Yo Eric, need a hand there?” he chuckled as he watched the child struggle to climb over his legs.

“Don’t call me that Uncle Halbo,” he whined, grunting a bit as he tried rolling himself on the couch. Halvo wasn’t making it easy on him as he kept moving his legs to tease the kid. “You know I don’t like when you call me that.”

“Then what do you want me to call you?” he chuckled. “We’ve always called you Eric.” He finally leaned up and pulled Eric up onto his lap so he could lay on the couch with him.

“Because Eric is your name. Why do we both have the same name? Are you Mommy’s brother?”

He chuckled a bit. “Not quite kid. We’re just good friends. Your mom named you after me. That’s why we share a name. That’s why she calls you Eric Junior, bud,” he said ruffling his hair a bit.

“But what about my first name? Who’s that guy? Is it my dad? Where’s he?”

Halvo took a deep breath. “Jacob isn’t your dad. Jacob is your grandfather.”

“Oh. Where’s my dad? The other kids at school have a mom and a dad. If my dad isn’t here, why can’t you be my dad? I love both you and Mommy the same. You already live here with us.”

He smiled a bit. “It’s not that simple. Uncle Halvo is about to get married.”

“To Mommy?” he asked excitedly.

“No. To someone else.”

“I already don’t like her,” he said as he crossed his arms.

“Be nice dude. You haven’t even met her yet. You’d like her.”

“No I wouldn’t. I’d hate her,” he argued defiantly.

Halvo chuckled. “EJ, seriously...ok. So you know how when your mom isn’t home that you and I watch Indiana Jones?”

“Yeah! Indy is my favorite!”

“Well Indiana Jones is her favorite too. Indy is my nickname for her because she loves Indiana Jones so much.”

“But she’s a girl! She can’t have a boy nickname,” Eric said confused.

Halvo just ruffled Eric’s hair. “You’re hilarious kid. She’s gonna like you.”

“So is she moving here with us?” he asked.

“No, bud. I’m moving to live with her…in Arizona” Halvo sheepishly replied.

“But you can’t leave us Uncle Halbo! You have to stay here with us! Who’s gonna teach me music and help me with my homework?” he frantically asked, tears welling up in his eyes.

“Don’t cry kid. I’ll still be here. I won’t be in LA with you and your mom, but I’ll come visit you as much as I can.”

Eric flung himself against Halvo’s chest and wrapped his arms around his torso as much as his little arms would let him. Halvo hugged him back as he tried not to tear up. He wouldn’t deny he loved the kid just as much as if he was his own son. The thought of having to be away from him, physically hurt his heart. He had been there helping raise Eric since the day he was born. Ever since he took Stephanie in, he held a special place in his heart for her kid.

“Boys, dinner!” Stephanie called out as she started setting the table in their kitchen. She avoided making eye contact with Halvo as the couple times she did she couldn’t help but shoot daggers at him. She wanted to remain as civil to him in front of her son as she could.

They all sat at the table in an odd silence as the weight of Halvo’s news suffocated the room. None of them really made eye contact with anyone else at the table as they were all too focused on eating their meal as peacefully as they could.

“EJ, hurry up and eat your dinner. Your friend Adam and his mom will be here soon to pick you up for your sleepover.”

Eric just nodded and finished his food in silence.

“What’s wrong hon? Aren’t you excited to play with Adam? You’ve been looking forward to this all week…” Stephanie asked sadly.

Eric just shrugged as he pushed his food around on his plate. “I’m not very hungry Mom. Can I go play in my room?”

She nodded sadly and let him go to his room. She waited until Eric had gotten up from the table and began clearing off his food and putting it away in the fridge for him to eat the next day. Shortly after, there was a knock on their door and she got up to answer it to find Adam and his mother at the door.

“EJ! Adam is here! Your bag is here by the door. Come on sweetheart,” she called out.

Eric came trudging out of his room and went to the kitchen to cling tightly to Halvo. “Will you still be here tomorrow? You won’t leave me will you?”

Halvo kissed the top of his head. “Promise kid, I’ll still be here tomorrow. Go have fun with your friend.”

He nodded and walked over to the front door where his mom was standing with his overnight bag. “Have a good time tonight alright honey?” She bent down and kissed the top of his head. She stood out in the hallway outside their door until he was on the elevator with Adam and his mom before walking back into the apartment and slamming the door. “Eric. James. Halvorsen. What the hell.”

“Woah, you don’t waste time do you?” he mumbled sarcastically as he continued casually eating his food.

She groaned and stomped over to the kitchen and sat across from him. “Halvo, I’m just looking out for you alright? She dumped you once before. Who’s to say she wouldn’t do so again?”

“Because we both know what we’re getting into,” he defended harshly.

“Do you? Does she know that you live with me? Because I’m sure she would be thrilled to learn that…”

“She knows I live with a woman and her son,” he mumbled as he took a swig of his beer.

“Goddamit. You’re going to be the one to screw this up this go round if you’re not careful…” she scolded.

“It’ll be fine. Seriously. She never has to know.”

“Right. Like you’re going to be completely okay with keeping EJ a secret from her. You know you love that kid like he was your own...that’s not a secret.”

“But she would understand. I was just helping you out since you didn’t have anyone here to help you,” he defended.

“Maybe initially, but after the first few months I got the hang of it. Five years later and I’m still alright. Halv, this is all on you. You can’t deny that the life we’ve established is one of the most real things you’ve ever experienced…” Stephanie added softly.

“I’m not denying that. I’ve loved this weird little family and life we’ve built. But this is Chaney…She’s my dream girl.”

“Exactly. That’s my point. That’s all this engagement and relationship with her now is...a dream. Whatever you think you have with her is a dream. It isn’t real. You can’t go chase something that doesn’t exist.”

He shoved up from the table angrily, grabbing his beer and heading towards the living room. “I’m done having this conversation.”

“No you’re not. You can’t keep running away from this.” She walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “You can’t keep pretending that you haven’t already settled down and built a life. Because you have. With me and EJ. No matter how unconventional it is. The three of us in some weird, mixed up way, are a family.”

He shoved his shoulder out from her hand. “Yeah, well, I’m wanting to start my own now. With Chaney,” he mumbled.

“But you’ve already started a li--”

“Stop,” he gruffed. “I was just here to make sure the little guy had a guy in his life. That’s it.”

“Maybe. But you decided to stick around because you fell in love with him. Admit it. You treat him like he was your own and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for taking us both in and loving my son. But Halvo listen to me. You can’t just up and leave him now because your high school sweetheart briefly came back into the picture.”

“Yes I can. I have my own life I want to live now. You’re not my wife or girlfriend, and the kid he’s...he’s not my son.” Halvo then quickly got up and stormed off to his room and shut himself in there. He instantly went over to the record player and shuffled through his crate of vinyls before putting his beloved “Rumours” album on the turntable. He collapsed on his bed and closed his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair. Leaving here was going to be a lot harder than he initially anticipated.