Out of the Woods

Winter throws a cold blanket over the city that he calls home. The sky begins to break, but the dark clouds continue chase the sun away. James lies in bed staring out the window pondering the time. Maybe it’s time for him to get up, or maybe he can just lie here lifeless for another hour. As fate would have it, in the distance, his alarm goes off. Every curve of his back strains as he finds the strength to crawl out of his warm bed, exposing his skin to the cold. He could never sleep with the heat on, and he would pay for it every morning. His body continues to grow goosebumps as he searches his kitchen for coffee. The time reads 6:45 am as he lets his lips kiss his steaming cup of caffeine. He wasn’t sure how he was going to feel today …

Well, this is fucking perfect he mutters as he notices his truck is covered in ice. The chill in the air continues to grow the longer he scrapes the ice off his windshield. He might complain about the cold every second he’s in it, but that’s the cost of playing in the center of the hockey universe. The city was still asleep as he rolls through the streets of Toronto, and he was wishing he were still in bed too. He turned on his satellite radio as he pulls up to a red light. He fumbles to find a station, and then he hears the one song that brings him somewhere he’s trying to escape.

But if I told you I loved you, would it make you want to stay?
I'm sorry for the way I hurt you, and making you walk away...

His entire body froze up even though the heat that was blasting through his truck. The song continued to play as he was hit with a floodgate of memories. Everything began to feel all too real for him. His breath sharpened as it felt as though someone was digging an old rusted knife through him. He couldn’t bring himself to change the station either. In some ways, he wanted to remember why he loved the song so much. He didn’t care if he was putting himself through self-torture. He’d do anything to have summer back … to have her back

He had his good days, and his bad days when it came to her. He never really paid much attention to the girls he met during the offseason. Just like summer, the girls would leave the second the leaves began to change. But James never forgot this one girl he met. He spent a month in Vancouver training with other players, and a couple of them decided to spend August long weekend at a country music festival. It was meant to be a weekend full of music, boozing and camping, but that wasn’t the case for James. As soon as he saw her, he knew she was trouble. But the good kind of trouble you want to get into.

James pulled up to the arena just as the song ends. He slides the key out of the ignition as a sigh escapes his lips. His entire heart felt heavy and his stomach sunk. He’d do anything to see her again. Just to hear her heart pound against him as they sat on his truck tailgate stargazing, sipping fireball from a water bottle, or how she grabbed his hand to pull him into dance when they met. The memories of those three days they spent together were like his drug. They caused him to be taken away from reality, making his heart race, tingling his skin, and having a smile escape from his lips.

But she wasn’t here when he woke up. He would be hit with his own stupidity for never getting her number, but they both agreed it wasn’t going to go past that weekend. Even though deep down inside, James knew it was going to be more than a summer fling, but he never had the courage to say it. He just let her drive away, watching her tail lights disappear.

You should’ve fought for her James thinks to himself as he hits his head on the back of the seat. Maybe he was broken, maybe wasn’t allowed to be happy.