Soul-Destruct

'I need a minute, just a minute,' I thought as I pulled on my coat and started jogging. I needed this. When I finally got to work, a few minutes late, my co-worker Jen reamed me. Not for being late, though she mentioned that too, she was disgusted by how I looked. “It’s not that hard,” She said.

'Yeah? Well how do you know? You don’t know what it’s like to be me right now. Okay? You don’t know how fucking hard it is to get out of my fucking bed in the morning. You don’t know how I struggle to focus on the simplest task. If I can’t get my homework done, my laundry done, I can guarantee I’m not going to look pretty for work. Sorry. Deal with it.'

Of course I never said these things. I just sat there and said, "Okay. Okay." The thing that I am not. "Okay. Okay, I’m glad you brought this up. Okay. Okay, I’ll have a higher standard. Okay. Okay." 'It’s really not my day.' I thought. 'You don’t know what it’s like to be me. I can’t do this, I can’t. I need to go out again. I have to. I have to get out of here, go somewhere else.' Running away seemed like a great idea. But I couldn't I was stuck there for a whole hour, being berated by Jen.