The Ghost of You
Never coming home
Frank's POV
I left the house and closed my eyes for a second, the sun was just way to light and the streets were loud as fuck. I hated being outside, all the human jumping around like bunnies. What the hell is wrong with them? I wasn't like that when I was human, was I? No, defiantly not.
I crossed the road and went to Starbucks. I loved coffee before I was technically dead and so I do now, even if it was extremely hard to actually drink some.
Yeah, I was dead and it didn't bothered me at all, cause I felt dead before that anyway.
It took me a while to figure out was happened. I don't remember much, though. I woke up in a hospital bed. I know, that I opened my eyes and saw a nurse, then I heard the normally constant beeps stopping showing my normal heart rhythm and starting being a solid noise. I heard the nurse yelling “Heart alarm” and I remember the panic in her voice, but then my vision went black. When I woke up I was in a mortuary. I though it was just a big mistake and they'd let me out as soon they'd see me, but they never did. I sat in that dammit hall for about 3 days and it was weird, cause I wasn't hungry or tired. When I tried to rest on a wall I fell back over, right through the wall. And that’s when I started to worry. What was wrong with me?
After I figured out that those wall wouldn't hold me back I went straight trough them, it was terrifying. But not nearly as terrifying as the things I saw after that. When I passed the walls I saw my parents. They cried and I ran towards them. They didn't even realized that I was there. I tried to hug them but it didn't work and I screamed as loud as I could. What was wrong???
Then I saw for men carrying a coffin in the church. It was the one I remembered waking up in, but it was closed now. Did they saw that it was empty? Did they felt that it was to light to contain a dead body? Obviously not. My parents went into the church and I followed them, I tried to hold my mums hand but it didn’t work out and I started to get angry. Why didn't they see me? Was I fucking
invisible?
Then I saw something that would have gave me a heart attack, if my heart would have been beating at that moment.
The men opened the coffin and I saw myself. I lay there in a suit, eyes closed and looking more peaceful than ever before.
What was going on? Why was I here when my body actually lay in this box in the church?
Retrospectively, It took me very long to realize that I actually was dead, but kinda not. I was a ghost.
But at this moment in the church I didn't even know that was possible. And I didn't want to know either. All I wanted to do, was telling my parents that I'm alive and ok. That they could stop worry and crying and that everything was going to be alright. And I did, well I tried. They didn't hear me.
So all what I could do was watching my own funeral and asking myself what happened why I was there.
I knew, that I was at home and really sad, I remembered alcohol and pills and a razor, then I woke up in hospital.
When I realized that I actually killed myself I got angry. How could I disappoint my parents so much? How could I hurt them like this. I cried, but there were no tears streaming down my face. I screamed and begged to make it undone. But nothing changed, not then and not now.
I still visit my parents everyday. They carried on but the pain stayed. My mum cries herself to sleep every night and my dad immures himself in work. I broke them and I hate myself for that.
I don't need to sleep or eat or something like that but I needed I place to stay so I am “living” in a hotel. Well, I just go to the empty apartments and stay there until I find something to do.
Today I had a meeting, that’s why I was at Starbucks. I met a friend, Austin. He was in a band called Of Mice and Men. But he needed a heart surgery and unfortunately he didn't make it. He is a Ghost for 5 Years now and he knows a lot more about it than I do. And that’s why I meet him, he's also very nice and patient when it's about teaching me new things.
“You can actually be a human again, if you are strong enough. And just for limited amount of time.” He told me, when we first met. Without him I'd be lost. And I'm very grateful that I'm not alone anymore. We talked for a while in human appearance, until it got to much and we had to go.
I left the house and closed my eyes for a second, the sun was just way to light and the streets were loud as fuck. I hated being outside, all the human jumping around like bunnies. What the hell is wrong with them? I wasn't like that when I was human, was I? No, defiantly not.
I crossed the road and went to Starbucks. I loved coffee before I was technically dead and so I do now, even if it was extremely hard to actually drink some.
Yeah, I was dead and it didn't bothered me at all, cause I felt dead before that anyway.
It took me a while to figure out was happened. I don't remember much, though. I woke up in a hospital bed. I know, that I opened my eyes and saw a nurse, then I heard the normally constant beeps stopping showing my normal heart rhythm and starting being a solid noise. I heard the nurse yelling “Heart alarm” and I remember the panic in her voice, but then my vision went black. When I woke up I was in a mortuary. I though it was just a big mistake and they'd let me out as soon they'd see me, but they never did. I sat in that dammit hall for about 3 days and it was weird, cause I wasn't hungry or tired. When I tried to rest on a wall I fell back over, right through the wall. And that’s when I started to worry. What was wrong with me?
After I figured out that those wall wouldn't hold me back I went straight trough them, it was terrifying. But not nearly as terrifying as the things I saw after that. When I passed the walls I saw my parents. They cried and I ran towards them. They didn't even realized that I was there. I tried to hug them but it didn't work and I screamed as loud as I could. What was wrong???
Then I saw for men carrying a coffin in the church. It was the one I remembered waking up in, but it was closed now. Did they saw that it was empty? Did they felt that it was to light to contain a dead body? Obviously not. My parents went into the church and I followed them, I tried to hold my mums hand but it didn’t work out and I started to get angry. Why didn't they see me? Was I fucking
invisible?
Then I saw something that would have gave me a heart attack, if my heart would have been beating at that moment.
The men opened the coffin and I saw myself. I lay there in a suit, eyes closed and looking more peaceful than ever before.
What was going on? Why was I here when my body actually lay in this box in the church?
Retrospectively, It took me very long to realize that I actually was dead, but kinda not. I was a ghost.
But at this moment in the church I didn't even know that was possible. And I didn't want to know either. All I wanted to do, was telling my parents that I'm alive and ok. That they could stop worry and crying and that everything was going to be alright. And I did, well I tried. They didn't hear me.
So all what I could do was watching my own funeral and asking myself what happened why I was there.
I knew, that I was at home and really sad, I remembered alcohol and pills and a razor, then I woke up in hospital.
When I realized that I actually killed myself I got angry. How could I disappoint my parents so much? How could I hurt them like this. I cried, but there were no tears streaming down my face. I screamed and begged to make it undone. But nothing changed, not then and not now.
I still visit my parents everyday. They carried on but the pain stayed. My mum cries herself to sleep every night and my dad immures himself in work. I broke them and I hate myself for that.
I don't need to sleep or eat or something like that but I needed I place to stay so I am “living” in a hotel. Well, I just go to the empty apartments and stay there until I find something to do.
Today I had a meeting, that’s why I was at Starbucks. I met a friend, Austin. He was in a band called Of Mice and Men. But he needed a heart surgery and unfortunately he didn't make it. He is a Ghost for 5 Years now and he knows a lot more about it than I do. And that’s why I meet him, he's also very nice and patient when it's about teaching me new things.
“You can actually be a human again, if you are strong enough. And just for limited amount of time.” He told me, when we first met. Without him I'd be lost. And I'm very grateful that I'm not alone anymore. We talked for a while in human appearance, until it got to much and we had to go.
♠ ♠ ♠
I hope, you'll like it