Do You See What I See?

I had just dropped from her bedroom, leaving her there, vulnerable. I could barely believe it was still dark. If I ddin't know better I'd be freaked. But, it was because of all the vampires around. The vampires and ghosts and shadows all left a dark imprint. Not that it really mattered to me whether it was dark or not. I faded in light. Only Hayley could see me then. She didn't know why. But I did. And I wasn't allowed to tell her.
I had been walking slowly, dwindling in the midle of the road in a deserted town because either, people had been brain washed by the Shadows, the Vampire Helpers, the ones who could restrain the dead. They were more like dead, but they were actually humans that, when dead, had been given the choice between total death and Shadow land, and guess which one most chose?
Obviously.

I felt a small shudder of wind next to me, a dark and shapeless shadow floating next to me. I looked away from it.
"Nudge, go away." I whispered quietly to him in my terrible voice. I hated that voice. I hated me. Nudge, the shadow that followed me everywhere. He'd been assigned to me by the Head Vampires themselves and we had sort of become best friends. If Vampires could have best friends.

'You're thinking about her.' His voice flickering eerily in my head.
"You would too if you were in my situation." I shot at him, my horrible voice still faint.
'It's not like that Salem,' His voice whispered, floating alongside me as I strode up the street.
"What would you know about it?" I hissed, rounding on him.
'You love her Salem. You know you can't. Dangerous.'
"I don't LOVE her! And I know I can't! I'm not stupid! If I was, I wouldn't be a vampire!" I spat at him. How the hell would he know? He couldn't even remember his past life. He would be stuck like this forever unless he was killed by the dead, vampires, or an Immortal; he would live forever.
'Salem,' said Nudge's voice. 'I'm not alive. My death is only postponed for many a year. You know this.' I nodded and continued walking, wanting to be rid of him. He was not deterred, following me like a hawk.
'You know you do. Look inside your heart. You'll see.' whispered Nudge's flickering voice, once more inside my head.
"I don't have a heart, Nudge. I'm dead." I snarled without looking at the Shadow.
'Yes, you do. It just stopped beating.'
I sighed. Sometimes Nudge was too smart for his own good.
Nudge gave a faint, airy chuckle.
'Salem,' he said, serious again, 'You're thinking about her again. Stop it. Dangerous for her.'
At this I exploded at him; he just floated serenly. Which made me even more furious. All my memories of the past hour with her was flickering through my head for Nudge to see. Her crying; Her dream; Stroking her soft hair; When she woke up...
"Don't you SEE Nudge?! I can't leave her because trouble follows her, I'm assigned to look after her! Her blood! Don't you understand what that's like Nudge?! You feed off memories, I feed off blood! Imagine the sweetest memory you would ever taste, and imagine her blood and me. If I didn't like her so much I wouldn't want her blood so much.." I trailed off frantically. I was afraid I would kill her, afraid the vampires would kill me for it too, afraid to see another human die for my hunger issues...
Nudge just floated there serenly, his shadow floating, waiting, listening to my memories, thoughts...
'I was right. You do love her.' said Nudge quietly.
"I. do. NOT!" I almost roared in his face. I whisked around and began running at the speed of light. Nudge was following me effortlessly, guidelessly, even without eyes he could see...see my thoughts and visons...my memories...her...
He. In-fur-i-a-ted. me.
We arrived near the vampire city, Dmitri, Rhyan and Bullo's house. We shared it together.
Nudge swept inside and vanished, probably off to a nice nook and crany for him to roll up and sleep in. Lucky him. I threw myself onto the disgusting couch.
There was a pile of old, bloody steaks next to an old fashioned T.V. Horror tapes littered the floor and the blood and dirt stained couch was groaning beneath me. I got up and examined the kitchen. It had glasses and jugs of blood on the table, and I lapped up a glass of rabbit blood up. Delicious.
The cabinents were empty except for bones and raw steaks, and the occasional mouldy-who-cares-what-it-was-sandwich-that-seems-to-be-alive. That was generally the only human food we ate. Mouldy deposits. Dmitiri, who was an obsessive hunter, had heads of all kinds of creatures hanging on the walls. I made my way up the ruined and crumbling stairs and into my bedroom. The bed springs and matress was all ripped up, feathers across the room, blood smeared on the walls, and a broken bedside lamp, complete with cobbwebs in the corners, which were inhabitated by spiders as large a saucers.
Sadly, I sunk onto my ruined bed. I pulled something ripped from inside one of the intact pillow covers. It was a moth-eaten picture. I stared hungrily at it. If I had not been seventeen at the time of my vampire-turn, I would not remember who she was, who had died for me.
It was a picture of my mother.