All or Nothing

James Potter had always been known as a prankster around Hogwarts, but most of the time, his spells and hexes were aimed at stuck up Slytherin kids (specifically Snivellus) and Filch.

On this particular morning, however, he was feeling rather creative and sappy and decided to broaden his horizons and hopefully instigate a little something between his two best friends and this was how Remus and Sirius found themselves waking up next to each other, literally attached at the hip.

“Jesus Christ!”

“Sweet Merlin!”

James actually let out a giggle at their distress and sat up in his four poster bed, trying to look as innocent as possible.

“Wha—Wha’s goin’ on?” Peter woke up with a start.

“What’s going on? What’s going on?”Sirius sounded hysterical while Remus was eyeing the flesh at their hips that was molded together, a calm expression on his face. “What’s going on is that Moony and I are stuck together!”

“Huh.” The raven-haired boy across from them feigned surprise (rather badly). “How odd.”

“What—how are we—why?!”

Remus was still poking at the skin. It didn’t hurt, but it was quite uncomfortable being fused to another human being. “Sirius, calm down. I’m sure Madam Pomfrey and sort us out,” he said, only slightly shaken.

“Well, yeah, but how’d we end up like this in the first place?”

James began to whistle, and the werewolf looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Can you think of no person who would enjoy watching two teenage boys amble around the school together?”

Sirius turned to the boy across from him and narrowed his eyes. “James, you didn’t.”

“Oh, I did.” He grinned widely. “I figured you and Moony needed some bonding time, so I bonded you together. Poetic, really.”

Remus rolled his eyes and pulled away, testing his range of mobility without hurting himself or his friend. “Why would we need bonding time?”

James muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like ’so oblivious’ while Sirius seemed to be turning a shade of green.

“So, good luck with Madam Pomfrey,” the bespectacled boy slid from his bed and yawned. “I’m gonna go ahead and get ready for breakfast.

Sirius was left fuming with a slight case of nausea while his so-called best friend got ready for the day. He left with a wink and a smile then disappeared from the boys’ dorm and eventually the common room.

The three boys sat silently for some time, and it took Peter no time to doze back off.

“So…” Remus started, finally pulling his night shirt back down. “Madam Pomfrey?”

The other boy groaned. “I mean, I’m sure we can find some sort of spell—“

“And if it goes wrong? No offense, Padfoot, but I don’t really fancy being attached to you for the rest of my life. Transformations would be a nightmare.”

“Okay, I see your point. Come on, then.”

Simultaneously, the Gryffindor boys attempted to scoot off of the bed, mumbles of ”ow” and watch it” slipping from their mouths whenever one of them made a wrong move.
Standing may have been more awkward than sitting as Sirius and Remus were shoulder to shoulder, their arms squished together in a sandwich-like fashion.

“I’m not even going to try changing clothes,” Sirius said.

“Yeah, just let me pull on some trousers.”

It was only then that Sirius realized that Remus was only in his pajama shirt and boxers. His stomach flipped and he did his best to pay no mind, though it was rather hard to when both of them had to bend over and accommodate for their lack of balance.

Now wearing a pair of plaid drawstring pants, Remus smiled at his friend and nodded toward the door. “Shall we?”

Sirius let out a long sigh and nodded.

Going downstairs and climbing out of the portrait hole was hellish and was made even worse by the fat lady screaming about conjoined twins so that all of the other paintings ran to have a look.

Students blatantly stared as they walked through the corridors, looking like participants in some awful three-legged witch. When at last they made it to the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey was so startled by them that she dropped the tray of medicines she was holding and gaped at the two of them.

Remus simply shrugged and said, “James.”

The medi-witch rolled her eyes. “That boy. One day he’s going to bite off more than he can chew…” She went on muttering while she cleaned the bottles from the floor. “Go ahead and sit on the third bed. I’ll be with you shortly.”

They ambled over to the cot and sat awkwardly.

“So…”

“I can’t believe he would do this to me.”

“To us,” Remus corrected.

“What? Oh, right. I can’t believe he’d do this to us.”

The scarred boy looked over at his friend as best he could with such little distance between them. Sirius definitely looked angry, but he also seemed a bit nervous, and if Remus wasn’t mistaken, his friend’s hands were shaking. He could feel it next to his own, small tremors vibrating against his own fingers.

Without putting too much thought into it, Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand, gaining the boy’s attention. “It’s alright, Padfoot,” he told him smiling. “This is going to be nothing for Madam Pom. Besides, we’ve been even closer than this huddled under James’ cloak.”

Sirius cracked a grin. “Yeah, you’re right about that. I probably have about four broken toes from Pete stepping on them all the time.”

The lycan laughed, and Sirius held his hand tighter.

“Hey, Rem?”

Remus blinked. “Yeah?”

The handsome boy next to him opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, something that was rather odd for Sirius Black considering most of the time he couldn’t shut up.

Sirius sat silently for a few seconds then shook his head. “Nothing, nevermind.”

Remus arched an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing. It doesn’t matter.” They gray-eyed boy looked at him with a forced smile then began to gaze out of the window just when Madam Pomfrey arrived with what looked to be some kind of salve.

As she applied it to their molded hips, Remus couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed that their malady was so easily remedied. After all, there were much worse people to be stuck to than Sirius.