Equilibrium

Finnick was sitting at the metal table, dressed in blue with his golden head down. I wanted to run, so I did. I caught the eye of several people as I dashed around the tables, careful not to slam my hip into any of the corners as I crashed into him from behind, making him flinch wildly. I didn’t apologize, pressing my cheek flat against his back as I hugged him from behind. The alarmed faces in the cafeteria turned to small smiles as everyone looked away from me.

Warm hands clutched my arms tightly as he returned my backwards hug. He leaned his head back, knocking it into my forehead lightly. “Hi,” he said softly. I lifted my face and nuzzled it into the back of his neck. “I heard you were locked up again.”

“Did you?” I let go and sat down next to him. I pressed our sides together as he ate lunch. It looked bland and tasteless, but he didn’t seem to be upset about it. He put his hand on my thigh securely as we sat together. “I’m out now, though.”

“I also saw you scratched Dr. Marlin again.” His tone was reproachful. I straightened up, opening my mouth to defend myself but he shook his head, pink lips curling elegantly into a soft smile. “I can only imagine why you did it.”

“You were sitting alone when I came,” I pointed out. Finnick didn’t like sitting alone. He had a thing about numbers since leaving the arena, and sitting as one was not something that he liked to do. He was also facing the west door. There were two, which bothered him greatly so he often sat turned to the side, so that he could turn his head and see both doors. “That’s strange.”

“Only alone for a moment.” I looked up in surprise to see Haymitch sit down. He was dressed in a similar fashion to Finnick, but with a knit hat pulled down over his unruly blonde hair. Haymitch gave me his version of a grin, setting his tray down. “Finnick does good by himself for a little bit. You should go get lunch. They’re going you anyways.”

“Yeah.” I kissed Finnick on the cheek quickly. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Finnick had tired lines by his eyes but he nodded. Whenever he smiled, it rarely reached his eyes. The exhaustion was evident in his face all the time. I knew that he wasn’t getting sleep, but there was nothing I could do about it floors apart.

Lunch consisted of a warm broth, a roll of bread with no spreads to put on it, and a small helping of vegetables. A glass of water was given to me as well. I thanked the man working the food counter politely before turning with my tray in my hands, walking back towards the table.

The cafeteria was filled with the scheduled block of people. There were designated times for certain people, depending on where they were working in the district. My mother worked in textiles, making close by sewing and weaving while my father worked in electrical services, keeping the building up and running. Both of them had different times than I did, which I was grateful for.

As it was, everyone tried to push me on my parents. Haymitch suggested I spend time with them, Dr. Marlin suggested I mend my relationship with them, and even Beetee said I should give them a chance. Finnick remained silent on the subject, wanting whatever was best for me. I knew that he hoped what was best for me was to be with my family, but if that never happened, he didn’t seem concerned.

Sitting back down at the table, I had to sit at an angle to allow Finnick’s pivoted position. He could clearly see both doors to the cafeteria, much to his pleasure. I made sure I was sitting far enough forward so that I wasn’t in the way of either of his paths to the door.

Someone in the room dropped a cup. The sound of glass shattering had Finnick ripping me down by the shirt and on the ground, crouched with his hand flat against my back, keeping me down. My heart was pounding in my chest and my hand was latched onto the fork in my fingers, squeezing the handle so tight I felt the metal warp under my grip.

Everyone around us stared. I was shaking. I couldn’t help but think that the sound of the glass shattering sounded exactly like the pieces of arena falling to the ground and breaking apart into many different pieces. With a shaky breath, I reminded myself that it wasn’t the arena falling apart and that I could stand up.

“Are you okay?” I whispered to Finnick. When he nodded, I took his hand from off of my back and linked our fingers, standing slowly. He remained crouched for a second with his hand in mind before he slowly got up, sitting down completely sideways so that he was facing directly to the doors. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

He nodded once more. I knew he wasn’t okay though. We had been making progress, with him sitting diagonal. Now we were back to the beginning, with him sitting at a ninety-degree angle at the table. “You should eat. Aren’t you going hunting for the first time today?”

I nodded. President Coin had put me on a team of four for hunting. Dr. Marlin gave her clearance for it, insisting that I needed to be put in the environment before he could evaluate anything related to physical activity. I felt like I was a lab rat, but it got me out of the compound and into the fresh air. President Coin assured me I would be given a trident, but that the three other members who were going with me were ordered to confiscate and sedate me if they felt any threat.

Finnick himself was going down to the weapons area for the first time. I had not been allowed down stairs yet, but Beetee had promised that he was working on something special for me. Beetee, who had all of his nerve endings fried and who was now in a wheel chair from the electric damage. Sometimes he had the occasional twitch in his hands or his sentences would trail off, lost in his own thought or his own nerve damage.

Without speaking anymore, I finished my meal. Haymitch and Finnick were good lunch partners, never having the need to fill in conversation. Haymitch because he didn’t like to talk in the first place, and Finnick because there were few things we needed to say that weren’t already known.

Finishing up lunch, I looked at my time sheet. They were given out every morning, ink on our arms and washed off by the end of the day. The small black font was already fading as I looked. I had fifteen minutes to get upstairs to the war room where President Coin would be waiting for me to personally see me off with my team.

“I have to go,” I muttered unhappily. Finnick looked at me. It seemed that I had broke him away from some train of thought. His eyes were distant as he nodded, leaning in and pressing a firm kiss on my lips. “You sure you’re alright?”

“I just want to go.”

I perked up. “Just come up stairs with me. Maybe if we ask nicely…”

He laughed then, shaking his head. “No, Coin wouldn’t like that. I’m excited to visit Beetee anyways. I’ll see you for dinnertime, okay. Just please be careful, Lana. I want you to stay cautious, I don’t know who’s going with you or how they work.”

“That would be me.” I looked up in surprise at the new voice. Gale Hawthorne grinned at me. Finnick raised his brows. “Scipio was sick this morning and Coin needed a replacement so I offered.”

“That was nice of you,” Finnick muttered. I gave him a look and he took a deep breath, smiling at Gale genuinely. “At least I know who you are. I would say watch her but she doesn’t need to be watched.” He pressed another kiss to the corner of my mouth. “I would say she should watch out for you.”

“She’ll come back okay. You have my word.”

I stood up, brushing a finger across Finnick’s cheek. “And you have mine. Truly.

He grinned. “Truly.”