Paralysis

The amount of drugs and alcohol in my body was the most I had in a while.

I didn't know anything I was drinking, popping or smoking, but I didn't care.

My high was a bliss.

I was dancing with Cara and a few college boys when someone snaked their hands around my waist and pulled me into another room.

I looked at my kidnapper. "Tri?"

"Hey beautiful." He glared into my eyes with his familiar hypnosis. "I didn't know you still partied hard."

"Neither did I." I said.

"I'm sorry if I upset you by asking you to come. It's just I miss you."

"You just started to miss me?" I questioned.

The sad part was that while he was always on my mind. We had a history that was hard to dismiss.
He shook his head and sat down pulling me onto his lap. I was too high to care. "I've always missed you... just I had to give you space. I mean you're the one that ignored me."

"I had good reasons. I needed to get straight."

Tri played with me. "Are you now?"

I shrugged and cuddled into him. "I guess not. I was."

"You know, we never talked about what happened."

"No. We didn't."

"Would you like-"

"No, I wouldn't like to talk about it." No need to bring up the past problems.

He sighed with remorse and held me tight. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

Tri started to run his hands on my legs and scrunched his eyes when he reached my thighs. "Mel?"

I flinched. "What?" I snapped.

"Why are your legs so bumpy?"

"It's nothing." I pulled my dress down and tried to hide in it.

"Did you-?"

"It's nothing."

"Melody. Drugs is one thing. You don't need two problems."

I jumped up. "Don't lecture me on problems. You are one to talk."

He tried walking towards me as I backed up. He put his hands in the air as defense. "I was just concerned."

"Concerned wouldn't be letting me get high off my ass when you know what happened last fucking time we played this bull shit game."

I started to shake and couldn't keep my balance as he backed me into a wall, locking his arms around me.

"Hey."

"WHat?"

"Look at me." He grabbed my face and I kept my eyes away from his. "Hey."

"No." I tried pushing him away but he was too strong. "No. Get away."

"Mel. Come on. I'm sorry. Forget it." He held up some pot and grinned at me. "let's forget about this."

I rubbed my eyes and sighed. "Okay."

---

I didn't remember what time it was. Actually my concept of time completely bypassed me.

But by my scenario I knew I was about to get into something that wouldn't be a good choice.

Well, okay, none of my choices were good. But this one was rotten.

How the fuck did I end up in bed with Tri?

I was adorned in my bra and panties and Tri was kissing my neck. The air around me was thick with smoke and sweat. My heart was beating faster than I could keep up with and beads of sweat trickled my arm. I was shaking.

I couldn't stop shaking.

"Am I making you nervous?" Tri said seductiivly while continuing to kiss my neck.

"N-n-o, no. I-I-" I tried to speak but couldn't find words.

"It's okay, you don't need to talk." He put his fingers to my lips and stared me in the eyes. "You're beautiful. I missed you so much." His pupils were completely dilated and the blood vessels in his eyes were scattered and broken.

I felt a sea of nausea hit me and I tried to hold it back.

Tri apparently not noticing or caring, or both, probably both, started kissing me.

My lips were sore and I had little control of them, feeling like I had nova cane in my gums. I tried to stop him but my strength had gone to slack.

My eyes started to droop and my head began to spin in ways that made me feel like I was on a merry-go-round.

Slowly a darkness spread through my vision. First the walls around us went, and slowly darkness crept around my image of Tri.

My eyes closed slowly and I fell into an abyss.

I no longer felt control of my body.

I couldn't hear a sound besides my rapid heart beat that gradually began to slow down.

My mind spun with memories of my life with Tri.

Meeting him when we were in third grade, instantly falling for him, him pushing me away, heart break, him coming to me, me pushing him away, more heartbreak, trying drugs with him, opening my life to him, narrowing my life to him, addiction to drugs, falling in love with him, and my near death.

I felt peace at the moment.

A slowing heart beat, and a emotion free mind. The thoughts consumed me but didn't hurt me. It was like being happy.

Almost.

My breathing gets harder and I feel myself slipping away.

If this was death, I wouldn't fight it.

Hell, my life had been a catastrophe.

People I loved hurt me and abused me.

I didn't need to live in agony.

As I slip further and further, there is buzzing in my ears. It feels like screaming but I cannot distinguish.

I pushed it away and let myself fall.