I Chose the Path to Misery

Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.”

Liz Taylor once said that and she was right. Whenever life throws you a curveball all you have to do is stand up and face the music.

Show life that you're bigger and better than whatever he throws at ya.

I'm following that motto ever since my break up with Cristiano.

Yeah , fuck... that's a lie.

The truth is I'm TRYING to follow that motto but my heart aches too much.

Ever since that day at the police head quarters I've been trying to face the music but once I stand up I get thrown back again by a magazine or some stupid paparazzi that clearly loves gossip.

I've laughed at the stuff they have written in the magazines , and I've cried as well.

Cris has been calling me ever since it happened. He won't stop at all and it's making ignoring him and trying to move on a lot more difficult.

I've tried dating - I mean God it's been 4 months but I just can't get over the fact that Cris and I are over. There's no more relationship.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I forgive him ; will we go back to where we were or will things change?

Maybe I should try to forgive him , but maybe I shouldn't.

Luckily I have about a month before I have to make a decision. Trust Lauren and Sergio to have a shotgun wedding and we only have 1 month to organize it.

Lauren , after I begged her , told me I could arrange everything over the phone with her but I would have to go back to Madrid for dress fitting and the actual wedding.

Fuck my life..

She also had the kindest words for me

"Cristiano is Sergio's best man"

I'm Lauren's maid of honor... so to say I was looking forward to this wedding would be a lie but I can't drop Lauren.

Cris might have broken my heart into tiny pieces

But Lauren and Sergio are still my friends

I don't hurt friends.