I Chose the Path to Misery

"Hey this is Nicole. Leave a message and I'll get back to you"

"N-Nicky... H-hey. I uh I-I know I'm uh the l-last person you'd want to hear from b-but I uh... i heard you're coming to uh the wedding... I won't bother you , if you don't want me to alright? I promise. I miss you , so much... I'll always love you... I'll see you soon.."

I sigh and finished the call. I sat down on my couch , broken up that she didn't answer. My message sounded so desperate and idiotic. I stammered like a fool and I know she'll probably delete the message.

But I didn't care - I needed to call her.

I hope she's coming without a date to the wedding. I don't think I'd be able to handle it if she has a new boyfriend or a potential boyfriend.

I haven't even looked at another girl since my split with Nicky. She's all I think about and she's all I want. Sergio told me that Lauren told her that I got full custody over Cristiano JR , and that she thinks it's a good idea since the mother wasn't able to take care of a baby.

One day , Nicky will be Cristiano's mother. He's only a month old now. He's still so tiny and young.

My mom's staying with me in Madrid to help take care of Cristiano JR and although she wished for him to be Nicky's child she absolutely adored him.

She doesn't like me at the moment - ever since it was revealed that I cheated on Nicky. She's only here for Cristiano JR and I don't think I'd be able to get her to forgive me.

Maybe if Nicky forgives me , she might consider it. I still remember the words she told me when she found out :

"Your father and I raised you better than this Cristiano! I thought when you met Nicky you'd stop your womanizing ways but you clearly haven't! I am so disappointed in you!"

Katia ; Hugo and Elma still doesn't talk to me claiming I'm too much of a fuck up to ever receive forgiveness from Nicky and that I deserve being alone for the rest of my life.

I know my family doesn't mean anything they say and that somewhere deep down they still love me but hearing that makes my heart hurt more.

Knowing what they're saying might be true and that I didn't deserve a girl like Nicky , she might never forgive me.

But I am willing to try. I'll try to get her to forgive me even if it's the last thing I'll ever do.