Status: New
Love Hurts
1
I tried as hard as I could to conceptualize exactly what I was seeing. I'm tired and wan nothing more than to lay down in my occupied bed. Yet as my best friend and the man I loved fucked, quite vigorously I might add. I'd managed to forget all about my aching bones and sweat drenched limbs. I was wide fucking awake and I swear at that moment I could feel my heart tearing itself to pieced in my chest. And the one thing I remember thinking before I got caught. Before they both stumbled and cried out my name in regret as I walked out the door never to return to the apartment we shared. I remember thinking why my bed? Why of all the places in that retched apartment did they decide to do it there. That spreading copious amounts of sweat and I shudder to think what else, was a good idea to do in my bed?
I don’t remember who spotted me first. But the moment he called my name after a generous moan in favor of my ex best friends vagina I turned my back to them.
“No, Cat! Cat wait!” Christopher screams, I can hear him tripping around as he tried to pull on his pants.
“Cat!” Tiffany bellows already about to cry. I ignore them both.
I had a head start, by leaving the apartment the decision for either one of them to follow hadn't outweighed their need for clothes. It gave me time to catch the elevator down to my car and peel out of the lot. I held my tears at bay, they were clawing at the back of my throat for freedom but I held it together. If I let myself cry I’m sure the rotten people I called the ones I loved would be the least of my worries. My car wrapped around a pole being at the top of the list.
It was close to 9 so the streets of L.A. weren’t cluttered with bumper to bumper cars honking at one another. My autopilot kicks in and before I can even think about it I’m at the café. After slamming the car door shut and locking it I take a few moments to collect myself.
Staring at my tinted reflection in the window of my car I make sure the only look I was sporting was sweaty gym goer. I’d have to bury deep the betrayed sweaty gym goer for at least a few minutes until my sister could get me into her office and in her arms.
“Kitty-Cat!” She calls out to me a bit more excited than I expected for 9 at night as I walk through the doors of High & My-Tea. The first café in the city to have a legal marijuana distribution license. When she explained this to our parents she just gave a shrug and said, “Hey, people love their weed and their chai.” My sister. She’s fearless and beautiful and confident.
Everyone wanted her and I secretly wanted to be her because no matter how much people claimed to adore her she didn’t bat an eye. Nothing was ever just good enough for her if it wasn’t exactly what she wanted. And that’s something I wish I’d learned before all that mess happened.
“Sissy,” I sigh. The voice I imagined in my head didn’t sound anything like the one expelled from my pitiful lips. My voice is now choked with tears and all the agony I’d collected over the past 20 minutes. Realizing immediately there was something wrong she began to walk over to me. Keeping her voice low she asks, “What’s the matter? What happened?”
My chin trembles when I try to speak and I slap my hand on my thigh as I try to form the words, opening and closing my mouth several times as did.
“Come on,” her concerned eyes remain trained on me as she guides me to her office. We pass by the counter into the hallway that lead to the kitchen. The employees steered clear of saying their usual hellos for when I visited. One look at me and it was clear this was not a social visit.
The moment we’re alone she asks again. I plop down on the couch in front of her desk and drop my face in my hands. My shoulders shake with my whispered sobs as the image of what I’d seen played before my eyes over and over again on repeat.
She has me in her arms in an instant, holding my head to her chest and soothing her hand over my hair.
“Sweetie please tell me what happened. Was it Christopher?”
I nod.
“Did you get to talk to him?”
I shake my head and sit up to tell her.
“He-I…”
“Take a breath honey,” she whispers trying to rid my face of some of the tears but more just replace them. I do as she says and take a deep, deep breath.
“Tiffany,” it burned me deep to fucking speak her name, “she…” I whimper. Feeling the loss of my one true friend was more painful than anything.
“They were…” I trail off hoping she’d understand. I didn’t want to have to spell it out with explicit detail.
“In my bed.”
Her eyes go wide and she gasps, “What?”
I nod again and bury my face back in my hands to cry some more.
“Are you serious? I’m sorry,” she backtracks, “don’t answer that, I know you’re serious,” which I appreciated.
Before either of us can speak another word we both hear the screeching of tires outside. Her office window gives a direct view of the parking lot. My heart beats triple times, knowing it could only be one of two people if not both of them. It was obvious this being the first place I’d go.
My sister stands up and moves to the window fast for a peek.
“It’s him. He knows you’re here, he parked right next to your car.”
My heart stops beating so fast and it thumps now, hard and roughly against my chest.
“Please I-I don’t want to…” I shake my head.
She kisses my head and replies, “Don’t worry about a thing, lock the door behind me.”
The moment she’s gone I lock the door behind her; I hear his voice.
“Where’s Cat?!” He yells at Yolanda, who'd been at the front. She stutters a confused response.
I move back to the couch and start chipping away at my nails which I'd gotten done today.
“Chris…Chris…” My sister interferes, “She’s gone man, stop.”
“I saw her car Josie, she’s…is…she’s back there I know it. Please just let me talk to her!”
“She doesn’t want to see you, and I told you, she’s gone. Coral took her home with her like 3 minutes ago okay?”
It was a good enough lie, Coral, my sister’s partner in life and business could have taken me back to their loft. It wasn’t true but it sure as hell could have fooled me.
My sister is a world class story teller when she needs to be. There have been plenty of hairy situations we’ve gotten out of thanks to her silver tongue. It, much to my dismay, wasn’t enough today. His determination beat out her lies and it didn’t take much longer before he bum rushed his way through the kitchen and to the door. I cover my mouth as I cry harder when he jiggles the knob before smashing his hand into the door.
“Cat! Cat I know you’re in there, please let me in. Please,” he begs.
“Chris stop it,” Josie snaps, “I already told you she doesn’t want to fucking see you. Haven’t you caused enough harm already?”
“Catherine, please sweetheart…listen to me, it meant nothing I swear. I swear on my life it meant absolutely nothing.”
“You need to leave,” Josie spits more aggressively now.
“It was a mistake and…and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you understand that alright? I love you.”
More tears rush down my face when I realize it’s the first time he’s said this to me. It’s the first time he said he loved me, platonically or the other way and the only reason he’s saying it is because of what I saw. That hurt more than anything.
“You don’t trip and fall and land in her best friend’s pussy you fucking moron. You know exactly how she felt about you and you fucked that bitch anyway. You’re only making it worse,” Josie intervenes.
“It was a mistake Cat, you have to know that! Please let me in!”
“Chris, if you don’t leave I’ll call the cops.
“Josie, please, you don’t understand I never-“
“I understand perfectly well Chris, I wish my sister never fell for a piece of shit like you. Get out of my café. Now.”
“Fell for me?” he questions, still panting.
“Oh no,” I whisper.
“Is it true?” he asks me through the door, “God Cat, please just tell me if it’s true and I’ll leave you alone…for now.”
I shake my head, as if trying to convince myself not to say anything to him.
“Are you in love with me Cat?” his voice is less frantic than before and I close my eyes, imagining his face right now. I hope it hurts like hell.
“Alright times up my friend,” it was a man’s voice now, Terry. He’s one of the pastry chefs and just as big as Chris.
“I love you Cat. I’ve been so in love with you since the moment I met you.”
I cry harder and I’m sure they can hear on the other side of the door.
“Cat please let me in,” his voice breaks and if I’m not mistaken he’s crying as well.
“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry, I love you.”
There’s a struggle and he curses at Terry, telling him to keep his hands off him.
“Look I don’t want to fight with you man, but you either walk out with me or the LAPD.”
“I-I’ll go okay. I’m going h-home waiting for you okay?”
I don’t respond and he sighs when I don’t. A minute later he’s gone and Josie knocks on the door.
“He’s gone Cat.”
At the same moment there’s a knock on the window. I snap my head to it and our eyes meet. I gasp and freeze under his gaze. His eyes wander over my face and I notice his red eyes.
“I love you Cat.”
I look away from him and close my eyes again, bleeding tears.
“I never meant to hurt you.”
“Catherine, is that fucker-?!” My sister exclaims, “Fuck!”
I hear her footsteps jet away from the door.
With his hand on the glass Chris says, “You mean everything to me-“
“What the fuck did I tell you?! Get the fuck out of here!” Josie yells pushing him away from the window.
Terry appears beside her and though his eyes are still focused on me Chris begins to walk away.
Once he’s gone I unlock the door before collapsing back on the couch and letting all the anguish wash over me. Seeing him, hearing him say those things. Under the circumstance that he didn’t fuck my best friend I’d of course be in his arms, kissing him until I couldn’t. But the circumstances weren’t the same.
I don’t remember who spotted me first. But the moment he called my name after a generous moan in favor of my ex best friends vagina I turned my back to them.
“No, Cat! Cat wait!” Christopher screams, I can hear him tripping around as he tried to pull on his pants.
“Cat!” Tiffany bellows already about to cry. I ignore them both.
I had a head start, by leaving the apartment the decision for either one of them to follow hadn't outweighed their need for clothes. It gave me time to catch the elevator down to my car and peel out of the lot. I held my tears at bay, they were clawing at the back of my throat for freedom but I held it together. If I let myself cry I’m sure the rotten people I called the ones I loved would be the least of my worries. My car wrapped around a pole being at the top of the list.
It was close to 9 so the streets of L.A. weren’t cluttered with bumper to bumper cars honking at one another. My autopilot kicks in and before I can even think about it I’m at the café. After slamming the car door shut and locking it I take a few moments to collect myself.
Staring at my tinted reflection in the window of my car I make sure the only look I was sporting was sweaty gym goer. I’d have to bury deep the betrayed sweaty gym goer for at least a few minutes until my sister could get me into her office and in her arms.
“Kitty-Cat!” She calls out to me a bit more excited than I expected for 9 at night as I walk through the doors of High & My-Tea. The first café in the city to have a legal marijuana distribution license. When she explained this to our parents she just gave a shrug and said, “Hey, people love their weed and their chai.” My sister. She’s fearless and beautiful and confident.
Everyone wanted her and I secretly wanted to be her because no matter how much people claimed to adore her she didn’t bat an eye. Nothing was ever just good enough for her if it wasn’t exactly what she wanted. And that’s something I wish I’d learned before all that mess happened.
“Sissy,” I sigh. The voice I imagined in my head didn’t sound anything like the one expelled from my pitiful lips. My voice is now choked with tears and all the agony I’d collected over the past 20 minutes. Realizing immediately there was something wrong she began to walk over to me. Keeping her voice low she asks, “What’s the matter? What happened?”
My chin trembles when I try to speak and I slap my hand on my thigh as I try to form the words, opening and closing my mouth several times as did.
“Come on,” her concerned eyes remain trained on me as she guides me to her office. We pass by the counter into the hallway that lead to the kitchen. The employees steered clear of saying their usual hellos for when I visited. One look at me and it was clear this was not a social visit.
The moment we’re alone she asks again. I plop down on the couch in front of her desk and drop my face in my hands. My shoulders shake with my whispered sobs as the image of what I’d seen played before my eyes over and over again on repeat.
She has me in her arms in an instant, holding my head to her chest and soothing her hand over my hair.
“Sweetie please tell me what happened. Was it Christopher?”
I nod.
“Did you get to talk to him?”
I shake my head and sit up to tell her.
“He-I…”
“Take a breath honey,” she whispers trying to rid my face of some of the tears but more just replace them. I do as she says and take a deep, deep breath.
“Tiffany,” it burned me deep to fucking speak her name, “she…” I whimper. Feeling the loss of my one true friend was more painful than anything.
“They were…” I trail off hoping she’d understand. I didn’t want to have to spell it out with explicit detail.
“In my bed.”
Her eyes go wide and she gasps, “What?”
I nod again and bury my face back in my hands to cry some more.
“Are you serious? I’m sorry,” she backtracks, “don’t answer that, I know you’re serious,” which I appreciated.
Before either of us can speak another word we both hear the screeching of tires outside. Her office window gives a direct view of the parking lot. My heart beats triple times, knowing it could only be one of two people if not both of them. It was obvious this being the first place I’d go.
My sister stands up and moves to the window fast for a peek.
“It’s him. He knows you’re here, he parked right next to your car.”
My heart stops beating so fast and it thumps now, hard and roughly against my chest.
“Please I-I don’t want to…” I shake my head.
She kisses my head and replies, “Don’t worry about a thing, lock the door behind me.”
The moment she’s gone I lock the door behind her; I hear his voice.
“Where’s Cat?!” He yells at Yolanda, who'd been at the front. She stutters a confused response.
I move back to the couch and start chipping away at my nails which I'd gotten done today.
“Chris…Chris…” My sister interferes, “She’s gone man, stop.”
“I saw her car Josie, she’s…is…she’s back there I know it. Please just let me talk to her!”
“She doesn’t want to see you, and I told you, she’s gone. Coral took her home with her like 3 minutes ago okay?”
It was a good enough lie, Coral, my sister’s partner in life and business could have taken me back to their loft. It wasn’t true but it sure as hell could have fooled me.
My sister is a world class story teller when she needs to be. There have been plenty of hairy situations we’ve gotten out of thanks to her silver tongue. It, much to my dismay, wasn’t enough today. His determination beat out her lies and it didn’t take much longer before he bum rushed his way through the kitchen and to the door. I cover my mouth as I cry harder when he jiggles the knob before smashing his hand into the door.
“Cat! Cat I know you’re in there, please let me in. Please,” he begs.
“Chris stop it,” Josie snaps, “I already told you she doesn’t want to fucking see you. Haven’t you caused enough harm already?”
“Catherine, please sweetheart…listen to me, it meant nothing I swear. I swear on my life it meant absolutely nothing.”
“You need to leave,” Josie spits more aggressively now.
“It was a mistake and…and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you understand that alright? I love you.”
More tears rush down my face when I realize it’s the first time he’s said this to me. It’s the first time he said he loved me, platonically or the other way and the only reason he’s saying it is because of what I saw. That hurt more than anything.
“You don’t trip and fall and land in her best friend’s pussy you fucking moron. You know exactly how she felt about you and you fucked that bitch anyway. You’re only making it worse,” Josie intervenes.
“It was a mistake Cat, you have to know that! Please let me in!”
“Chris, if you don’t leave I’ll call the cops.
“Josie, please, you don’t understand I never-“
“I understand perfectly well Chris, I wish my sister never fell for a piece of shit like you. Get out of my café. Now.”
“Fell for me?” he questions, still panting.
“Oh no,” I whisper.
“Is it true?” he asks me through the door, “God Cat, please just tell me if it’s true and I’ll leave you alone…for now.”
I shake my head, as if trying to convince myself not to say anything to him.
“Are you in love with me Cat?” his voice is less frantic than before and I close my eyes, imagining his face right now. I hope it hurts like hell.
“Alright times up my friend,” it was a man’s voice now, Terry. He’s one of the pastry chefs and just as big as Chris.
“I love you Cat. I’ve been so in love with you since the moment I met you.”
I cry harder and I’m sure they can hear on the other side of the door.
“Cat please let me in,” his voice breaks and if I’m not mistaken he’s crying as well.
“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry, I love you.”
There’s a struggle and he curses at Terry, telling him to keep his hands off him.
“Look I don’t want to fight with you man, but you either walk out with me or the LAPD.”
“I-I’ll go okay. I’m going h-home waiting for you okay?”
I don’t respond and he sighs when I don’t. A minute later he’s gone and Josie knocks on the door.
“He’s gone Cat.”
At the same moment there’s a knock on the window. I snap my head to it and our eyes meet. I gasp and freeze under his gaze. His eyes wander over my face and I notice his red eyes.
“I love you Cat.”
I look away from him and close my eyes again, bleeding tears.
“I never meant to hurt you.”
“Catherine, is that fucker-?!” My sister exclaims, “Fuck!”
I hear her footsteps jet away from the door.
With his hand on the glass Chris says, “You mean everything to me-“
“What the fuck did I tell you?! Get the fuck out of here!” Josie yells pushing him away from the window.
Terry appears beside her and though his eyes are still focused on me Chris begins to walk away.
Once he’s gone I unlock the door before collapsing back on the couch and letting all the anguish wash over me. Seeing him, hearing him say those things. Under the circumstance that he didn’t fuck my best friend I’d of course be in his arms, kissing him until I couldn’t. But the circumstances weren’t the same.
♠ ♠ ♠
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