Drown

I won't be the kid who says the first day of school was the best day they ever experienced because of all the people they met and all the classes they're looking forward to taking. I also won't be the person to talk about how miserably disappointing it was and how much I hate all the teachers who probably already hate me too. Instead, I'll go out on a limb and say it was an ordinary first day; nothing too exciting and nothing really worth complaining about.

I've experienced plenty of "first day" feelings and although this wasn't my favorite in my history of them all, I can't complain.

I was fortunate enough to have Taylor in this school with me this time around and to have been able to have lunch with her so I wouldn't have no where to go once it was time to go to the cafeteria. I'm sure they did that on purpose when creating my schedule, which I'm grateful for.

Then theres Gabe. Gabe had introduced me to two other people in the halls after class since I had learned we had our next period together and he walked me there, showing me exactly which turns to take and even going above and beyond with explaining to me how to arrive at the classroom I had after this one. I was lucky enough to have met him today, and happy about him introducing me to some people since I wanted to be familiar with atleast one person in each class but I knew that was wishful thinking.

I've just come to notice if you isolate yourself on the first day and make no friends or efforts to speak to people, it usually stays that way for the rest of the year. I don't want that to happen.

One of the people Gabe introduced me to was his girlfriend, Sophia. She seemed nice enough; Honestly she reminded me a lot of Gabe by the way they talked and the sense of humor they both seem to have. I later learned we have last period together, but we didn't talk much like we had when Gabe was here. She offered me a smile when I walked in and that was the end of it. I didn't mind, I can understand it still being a bit awkward since we had just met.

School was overall not as bad as I expected it to be, and I'm glad. Telling Vic all about it proved to be entertaining since he actually seemed happier about the news than I am.

"is this the part where I get to say I told u so?"

"knock yourself out but dont expect me to reply for the rest of the day if you do" I answered with a smug smile. It isn't like he could see me or I could see him, but sometimes these conversations with Vic seem real enough and seem like they're happening right before my eyes; Him sitting right beside me on this bus while we talk rather than Tay.

"dont be an asshole because i was right about something :("

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I'm not sure why, but that caught me off guard and that was funny in a very cute way. He's probably pouting over this and its obvious hes being a big baby, but its cute when he does that.

I locked my phone for the remainder of the bus ride home. I decide to reply once we get off the bus because I didn't wanna seem like I was ignoring what Tay was saying.

"What's funny?" I heard her ask curiously from besides me, scrolling through her music to pick a new song to play in the headphones we were sharing.

"Nothing sorry, I was reading a text."

"Super informative. That's hilarious, glad I could share that laugh with you." She said with sarcasm but a smile pulled at the end of her lips and I knew she was just messing around. I smiled at her and laughed a bit before looking out the window and trying to figure out how far away we were from her house.

Her house. I won't ever get use to calling it anything else. The idea of living here any longer than necessary leaves a sickening pit in my stomach, one thats much deeper than usual. I'm just glad this 'living together' thing with family I haven't seen in years isn't as awkward as I thought it might be. It should be awkward, but it isn't. I'll admit the first couple of days were strange since neither of us knew how to act around the other, but we got over it.

The bus turned onto a street I finally recognized and I knew we had arrived back to her home. I grabbed onto my backpack and placed it onto my shoulder, taking her headphone out of my ear as she followed my lead and did the same.

Once we were off the bus, we made it back inside the house with no trouble to find both her mother and my father home and in the kitchen talking while her mother held a cup of water in her hand. She spotted us with a smile but didn't move from her spot, and neither did my father.

"You guys are kinda late, aren't you?" My aunt asked. I looked over at Tay for assistance because I had no clue, and thankfully she got through the question smoothly.

"The bus driver takes his time dropping kids off sometime, traffic exists, I don't know mom. Plenty of reasons to why we are exactly 6 minutes late." She answered before placing a kiss on her mothers cheek as a greeting and going into the cabinets for something to eat. She acted as if it was no big deal, and maybe it wasn't but being late should be a big deal, shouldn't it?

It was foolish of me to listen to this conversation and let myself get nervous. Her mother was not like my dad, and just because she asks questions like that doesn't mean I should be afraid to answer. It just reminds me too much of when my father used to get angry with me for not being home at a specific time; even one minute late from his request resulted in getting hurt and too many "you should know better than to purposely not listen to me" arguments that almost always ended the same.

As far as I knew, her mother wasn't like that. She was even smiling while asking us about it which should be sign number one this was just a friendly conversation but I can't help trying to read between the lines.

I was so lost in thought, I didn't even realize I was being spoken to. Tay had been standing infront of me with a small bag of Oreos for who even knows how long while her mother was also trying to get my attention from where she stood a few feet away from us.

"Hm? Oh, I'm sorry." I answered quickly and honestly a bit frighteningly. I didn't mean to fall into the mindset I'm in, but I couldn't help it. My answer seemed too rushed and quiet and I couldn't even look them in the eye and I knew they would question me but I couldn't give them a straight answer then I'd be stuck on what to say while my father is right there watching and-

"How was school, Kellin?" My aunt asked me curiously, cutting my thought process off completely because I knew I had been overreacting but that just confirmed it when she changed the subject without a care or second thought to it. School, right. Because it was the first day after all.

"Better than I thought it would go." I replied truthfully while taking the bag from Tay and thanking her. I didn't want them, but theres no use in being rude. She stepped beside me and watched her mother and I speak for a few minutes as I told her small details about my day.

"I've got homework so I should head upstairs and do that. Come on, you probably have stuff to do too." Tay said beside me and I nodded before we headed towards the stairs with a goodbye. I let out a small breath of relief being away from the kitchen and now on my way towards our rooms.

"For whatever reason you seemed real uncomfortable, so I tried getting you out of that situation. You're welcome." She informed me and suddenly she was one of my favorite people to walk the earth. I smiled before playfully placing my arm around her shoulder and walking up the stairs. Now, rather difficultly since we were attached at the hip.

We laughed at ourselves the whole way up and almost tripped a few times but made it to the top in one peace thank God.

"I actually do have homework so I'm gonna go do that. I'll come visit you in your room later, make sure I don't walk in on anything illegal."

"Then make sure you knock." I replied jokingly before she chuckled and closed her bedroom door. My smile dropped slightly, my mood falling since I was once again alone. I wouldn't let it get too bad though, I just had to keep a positive mindset for awhile and I should be fine.

Once I walked into my room, the first thing I did was change out of my school clothes and put sweatpants and a teeshirt instead. I didn't plan on going anywhere today, so why stay dressed up in clothes that aren't comfortable enough to relax in? I plopped down on my bed and took one long breath. This is my favorite part of the day, as bad as that must sound. If I'm in a good mood, theres nothing better than coming home from an exhausting day of school and changing into sweats, laying down and worrying about nothing other than the time of day.

Speaking of school, I almost forgot I haven't answered Vic.

I pulled my phone out and reread his message. I smiled at it all over again, not even phased by his stupid use of insulting.

"you weren't right, you took a lucky guess." I informed him before lifting myself onto the bed more comfortable and laying on my back, this time with my covers covering half of my body. A few moments after I got comfortable I heard my phone vibrate beside my hand.

"someones angry I was right"

"LUCKY guess"

"alright whatever u say"

I chuckled quietly to myself. His carefree attitude is contagious, and I slowly find myself not worrying about the world around me for the next hour that we're speaking. I forgot about my situation, and the fear it fills me with. I don't worry about having to be back on a school schedule. I focus on Vic until I find myself shutting my eyes while waiting for him to reply, barely acknowledging the quiet vibration I hear beside my head when he probably texted me back.

***

I wasn't sure what time it was, but I do know its much darker in this room than it was the last time I looked around it. I must have dozed off for a couple hours and someone must have come in here to shut off my light when I accidentally fell asleep. I'm guessing Tay, since she did tell me she'd be back in a few.

What time even was it? I grabbed my phone to check and realized I had 3 text messages from Vic and I have been asleep for 4 and a half hours. Great.

It was almost time for dinner which means I woke up at a pretty good time rather than needing someone to wake me up forcefully and getting cranky over it. I sat myself up in bed and rubbed at my eyes, wiping the sleep away from them and trying to wake myself up further. Before I could actually even get out of bed, I heard my door open and footsteps as someone walked inside. I felt my throat close up as I watched my father step in and open my light, closing the door behind him.

I had my eyes locked on him as I watched him step inside and look over at me once the door was secured. I probably looked as terrified as I felt, because I don't think I've actually been alone with my father since we've been here. I wasn't sure what to expect or how to act. He on the other hand didn't seem like himself.

"Out of bed. We need to talk."