Don't Let Go

Kellin sat in my lap that way for another hour, Justin giving me dirty glares every time he would get bored and start playing with the collar of my shirt. The rest of the guys talked with each other, thankfully keeping the van from going silent. “Are we there yet?” Jack asked from behind us.
Jesse’s eyes rolled, but he nodded. “Yeah, ten minutes, you big baby,” I smirked to myself, looking up at Kellin, who smiled at me. His arms moved around my neck, his head resting on my shoulder. I heard Justin huff, annoyed by how much we were touching.
It was a surprise to me. I had known Kellin for less than a day and I had already fucked his relationship, accused him of two disorders, and shoved my tongue down his throat. Nice Vic.
Kellin's lips touched my throat, and I couldn’t help the smile that crossed my lips.
I liked Kellin. He was cute and hot and attractively confusing. I wanted him.

We arrived at a tall, old-fashioned house made of brick and dark wood. There were a few trees scattered around, thickening as they got further out and morphing into the surrounding forest.
“Alright, there are five rooms and a loft. One room is a double, and the loft only has one bed. Divide,” Jesse said and walked inside. The boys raced past us and up to claim whatever room they wanted, leaving Kellin, Oli, and I on the porch. “Don’t you want to go get a single room, Oli?” Kellin asked teasingly.
“Oh, fuck that. I don’t care if I have to share a damn room with someone,” he said and walked away. I chuckled, following him and Kellin inside. “I hope you don’t mind sharing a bed with me,” Kellin said and winked at me. “Now why would I mind?” I asked right back, and earned a little grin.
“Wouldn’t want you to catch my gay. Or worse, I might fuck you in your sleep,” he said as we ascended the stairs. I looked at him in horror, freezing on the landing. “They don’t seriously think that? Aren’t they your friends?” I asked him. They sounded like some pretty shit friends, if you asked me. “They are, and no…I don’t think they see me that way. But of course I am the slut and Oli’s probably the only one of them who would share a bed with me…. And Justin, but fuck him.” I laughed and waited for Kellin to keep walking. So far, everyone but Oli seemed like they weren’t really concerned about Kellin and that bothered me. My friends didn’t care if I shared a bed with them.
“The loft is up there,” a voice said. Jesse. He had poked his head out of the first bedroom and pointed to a closed door at the end of the hallway. It was the same dark wood as the rest of the interior, opening up to a dark staircase and another door. “This is it,” Kellin said and tossed his bad onto the large king-sized bed.
“This thing is huge,” he said and fell backwards onto it, his body bouncing a little on the mattress. “And it feels really nice. Come here,” I did as Kellin asked and lay down next to him. He was right; it was really plush and comfortable, the duvet extremely soft under my fingertips.
I looked around the room, noting the small circle window looking out the back of the house. The walls were bare, leading up to the pointed ceiling with a fan hanging down over the room. Each side of the bed had a nightstand, both adorned with a doily and matching, dark brown lamps.
“Hey Kell!” someone shouted from the bottom of the steps, ruining our quiet moment.
Kellin got up and walked to the bedroom door, looking down at whoever it was. “We’re gonna order pizza and head down to the lake. You guys coming?” Kellin nodded and looked back at me, a soft smile on his lips. “C’mon Vic,” he said and then left. I followed the quiet sounds of his footsteps outside to where he was standing. “It’s around here,” he said to me. “There’s a little private beach and a fresh-water lake. We usually make a bonfire when we come here,” Kellin explained, leading the way to the beach. “You’ve been here before?” I asked curiously.
“Yeah, but only with Jesse’s parents. Oh, and, Jesse’s brother isn’t going to be here. I lied about that. Usually, I come up here with Jesse and his family in July, but they weren’t going, so we thought we’d come up to get out of camp. The camp our parents send us to will let you in up to a week late; henceforth eight days.”
I grinned; he was kind of deviously clever. “This is it,” he said and gestured to the small, white beach in front of us. The sand feathered out to a sparkling lake, the sunset just visible between the trees on the opposite side. “It’s pretty,” I mumbled and walked with Kellin to a circle of logs. There was a make-shift fire pit in the middle of it. ~

We had all had pizza around the fire, joking with each other lightly, until Justin and Kellin started an argument.
“Whatever,” Kellin said angrily and walked off towards the trees. I looked after him, contemplating going after him and deciding to when Justin glared at me. Fuck him.
I weaved through a little line of trees, seeing Kellin sitting in the sand and letting handfuls of it slip through his fingers. I walked up to him, pausing to make sure he knew I was there. “Do you want to be alone?” I asked quietly, understanding if he did. For a minute I thought he wouldn’t answer, but eventually he whispered a little ‘no’. I sat down beside him, crossing my legs under myself.
Kellin reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. I tried not to grimace as he lit it, brining the stupid thing to his lips and breathed in deeply. “Do you smoke often?” I asked, secretly hoping that he wasn’t a chain smoker.
“Not really. I never used to…. I kind of picked it up when I started seeing Justin and just never stopped….” I nodded a little and tried not to show my relief.
“It’s okay Vic, I know how much you hate smoking,” he said and laughed a tiny bit. “What? How?” I hadn’t said a thing to him about it, so how could he possibly know?
“I saw your face when I took Justin’s earlier. You really do hate it, don’t you?” Kellin asked and smiled when I nodded.
Surprisingly, he pressed it against the pack, extinguishing it, and then slid it back inside. “You don’t have to stop because of me,” I said. I wasn’t going to keep him from something he enjoyed.
“It’s okay. I don’t really like them. It’s just something I do.” I watched as he lay back, staring up at the stars. “Why? If you don’t like it, then why do it?” I asked confusedly, and got a little shrug from him. He looked at me, smirking a little.
“I don’t know. I just do. I guess…I wanted Justin to like me, and when he offered, I just said yes to impress him. He’s older than me and I had a huge crush on him, so I wanted to what he was doing, I guess. It’s stupid, I know, and I only smoke when he’s around. Or when he upsets me…,” he trailed off, still looking at me. “You’re right. That is stupid.”
Kellin laughed at that; a genuine laugh. “I told you it was. Especially since he doesn’t want me,” I frowned, slowly disliking Justin more and more. “Justin is more like an off and on…thing. He never wanted to be my boyfriend, and I never wanted to sleep with him.” So they hadn’t had sex…?
Kellin sighed sadly, sending a wave of guilt over me. “You expected me to have fucked him, right?” he asked bitterly, sitting up again. “It’s not that—I just, you said you hooked up?” I said gingerly and hoping I hadn’t offended him.
“It’s okay. Everyone just assumes a huge slut and that I fuck every guy I’m with. It’s actually kind of fun to watch their reactions when I tell them I’m a virgin.”
I blinked, kind of surprised too. “You thought I wouldn’t be,” he stated and smiled a little. “Honestly, I’ve only ever done anything with Justin. But I wasn’t ready to have sex, and so he didn’t want to be serious with me. But of course I was good enough to casually hook up with and being me I let him,” Kellin wasn’t looking at me anymore, instead biting his lip and glaring out at the trees. “I just wish I could stop,” he whispered, so quietly I almost missed it. I didn’t think I was supposed to hear.
I had a thought suddenly…. “So am I just a distraction from him?” I asked, kind of hurt by the realization. Kellin looked at me, shaking his head. “No no no no. Vic, I really do like you. I just…I’m just complaining. Justin knows how to get to me and I hate it. I don’t want to want him,” Kellin said determinedly.
I smirked at him and then scooted closer to him. “So don’t,” I said, wanting to make him forget all about Justin as I kissed him.
Kellin responded immediately, slotting his lips with mine and sliding his delicate hand into my hair to keep me there. Our mouths moved together effortlessly as we kissed and then Kellin parted his lips, asking me to deepen it. My tongue invaded his mouth, mingling with his and tasting his warm tongue. He moaned into my mouth, sending little shivers down my spine. I snaked my arm over him and gripped his hip gingerly as he broke the kiss, desperately gasping for air.
My lips moved to his neck, nipping and kissing and sucking the skin there, the little breathy moans he let out turning me on. Kellin shifted and then climbed onto my lap, his knees on either side of me, straddling me. “Vic,” he whimpered when I bit him, just above his collar bone, and probably resulting in a hickey.
I hummed and licked the spot, soothing it with my tongue and relishing the sound Kellin made. He tugged my hair a little, pulling my mouth back to his and then took over the kiss, his tongue licking into my mouth hungrily. I let him dominate, just kissing back passionately as we made out.
“Well,” Oli’s surprised voice said, startling the both of us. We ripped apart, the both of us looking back at Oli. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. As much as I love him, I’m sure Vic’s a much better choice for you than he is,” he said to Kellin, who blushed and looked down at his hands.
“Anyway, I we’re gonna go grab a few drinks. I thought I might tell you, but you’re clearly enjoying yourselves, so…” Oli awkwardly walked off without letting us answer and disappeared through the trees. I looked at Kellin, the both of us still breathing kind of heavily. “Do you want to go with them or…?” Kellin shook his head and then stood up, holding his hand out to me. “Nope. I would much rather make out with you some more,” he said, grinning.
I let him pull me up and then leaned in to kiss him once more before heading inside.
Kellin followed me up to the room and then initiated another make-out session, pushing me down on the bed and kissing me roughly. ~

Kellin and I had both showered before everyone got back. We were getting into bed, Kellin worrying over whether or not I would mind sharing with him. “Kellin, I swear, its okay. I have no problem sharing a bed with you,” I said honestly and climbed under the blankets.
“Are you sure? I mean—everyone always says I try to cuddle with people when I’m sleeping and I don’t want—“Kellin. Get in bed,” I ordered him and then yanked his body across the bed when he lay down, pulling him into me. “There,” I said and draped my arm across his waist, “now you can cuddle me all you want.”
Kellin blushed, turning his face away so that I wouldn’t see. “Are you sur—“Kellin,” I reprimanded him as my face hit the pillow. “Go to sleep,” My eyes closed and I felt Kellin lean across the bed to turn his light off before lying down again. His body settled against mine, his back against my side. I was lying mostly on my stomach, my arm resting over Kellin’s warm abdomen. “Goodnight Vic,” he whispered and laid his arm over top of mine. “Goodnight Kellin,” I said back and drifted to sleep. ~

I groaned and stretched, suddenly aware of the warm body on top of me. It took me a moment to realize that it was Kellin and we were at Jesse’s. I sleepily looked down; Kellin was asleep on my chest, his face snuggled into my t-shirt, an arm across my stomach, and his legs tangled up with mine.
He was right when he said he cuddled in his sleep, but it was cute. He looked younger and so innocent when he slept.

How did I go from being at home and partying with my friends, to lying in a bed with Kellin Bostwick; the rich, naughty white boy in Medford Oregon? My life had changed so drastically in the last twenty-four hours and yet, I didn’t hate it the way I had expected to and that kind of bothered me. I was supposed to loathe every second I was away, and instead, I was spending the night in bed with a cute boy, making out. What?
It was so ironic—this was my punishment.

Kellin squirmed around, rubbing his face on my chest, and then looked up at me. “Vic?” he asked tiredly and rubbed at his eyes. “Mhm, how did you sleep?” He shrugged nonchalantly, still not awake, and stretched, his skinny torso arching and popping. “What time s it?” he mumbled when he had settled, his eyes falling closed again. “Um…” I reached over to my table and clicked my phone on, taking note of a few texts before turning it off again. “8:38am,” I said and smiled faintly as he curled up in a ball on his side and pulled the blankets up to his neck.
“Going back to sleep?” I teased and poked his side. He flinched at my touch, squeaking quietly, and nodded. “Yes I am, so shush,” My eyes rolled, even though he couldn’t see. I picked up my phone again and unlocked it, looking at the texts. All but five of them were from Jaime.
Tony: aw, we’re gonna miss you. Call me when you’re free 1:12pm
Mike: hey, you have to tell me how awful they are 2:51pm
Jaime: you left?!?!? 1:15pm
Jaime: why? 1:16pm
Jaime: oh, Mike told me. You suck 1:45pm
Jaime: you didn’t say goodbye to me 2:37pm
Jaime: I’m gonna miss you 2:38pm
Jaime: text me back 2:39pm
Jaime: please. Or call me 6:00pm
Jaime: you don’t suck 7:50pm
Jaime: Viiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic 9:32pm
Jaime: im gonna cry Vic 12:18am
Jenna: you left? Why? 1:17pm
Jenna: wtf Vic, why didn’t you say bye? 1:20pm
Jenna: you’re a terrible bf 1:21pm
I smiled as I read Jaime’s texts and then frowned at Jenna’s.
To Tony: me too, ily guys and I will when I’m free
To Mike: they’re horrendous and all blonde. Except the one son who’s really fun and hot. Look up Kellin Bostwick
To Jaime: yes I was forced to leave and im sorry I didn’t say goodbye, ily and you already know I suck ;) I promise ill call you when im not busy and you’re too cute to cry, stop it.
To Jenna: 1 I didn’t have a choice of whether to leave or not. 2 I didn’t have time to say goodbye. 3 fuck you too

I set my phone down after that, a bit worried about the last one. Although, maybe she would take a hint…. I did feel bad though; I had only been here a day and I had already cheated on my ‘girlfriend’. The worst part was that I didn’t really care. I genuinely like Kellin and I wanted to date him. We would be sharing the same room all summer…. Maybe something good will come out of this summer. ~