Don't Let Go

The group had insisted we drive to the closest beach we could find, and so we all piled into the van, Kellin sitting in my lap again. My arms were around his waist, his back pressed to my chest. His was head tipped back and resting on my shoulder, exposing his pale neck. He had put on a high-collared hoodie to hide the little bites I had littered along his throat, the fabric just barely covering them.
Nether of us had realized it had fallen a bit, revealing a few, dark purple marks.
“What the hell is that?” Justin asked and reached over to pull Kellin's collar out of the way. We both stiffened, and the Kellin jerked sideways on top of me. You could see one the hickies on his neck, a slightly lighter shade than some of the lower ones. “I burned myself with my straightener,” Kellin said and covered the mark with his hand.
Justin didn’t look like he believed him, and he was glaring at me. “Did you cheat on me with him?” he asked incredulously. “First of all Justin, we’re not together. Second, I already told you that I burned myself. And third, If I had, it would be none of your business,” Justin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. I know what a hickey looks like Kellin,”
The rest of the van had gone eerily quiet, all of them watching the three of us. “Well so have I, and believe me Justin, that’s no lovebite,” Oli said, breaking the silence. “Why don’t you just mind your own business?” Kellin said to Justin and crossed his arms over his chest. He put his arms around my neck, effectively covering his neck and hid his face in the crook between my neck and shoulder. I looked out the window, pretending that I couldn’t feel everyone’s eyes on me—it was a very tense drive. ~

I got out of the van as soon as Kellin got up and tried to avoid everyone else. Oli rolled his eyes at me and then motioned for me to follow him.
I walked behind him for a while until we were on the far side of the beach. Oli sat down in the sand behind a little lift that lead into the boardwalk and then some beach houses.
“What are we doing?” I asked and looked over at him. “Talking. Well, you’ll mostly be listening, but you get my point.” I nodded and crossed my legs, waiting for whatever he had to say. “Be honest with me Vic, okay?” he asked and continued when I nodded my head again.
“Kellin didn’t burn himself. We both know that, and I can promise you, so does Justin.” I had figured as much. Only an idiot would believe Kellin had actually burned himself. He would have had to intentionally heal the iron against his skin to make a mark like that, and it would’ve been a straight line across his skin instead of the angry purple blotches.
“Is that what you wanted to tell me? That Justin knows I made out with his boyfriend? Because I could have figured that out myself,” I said, kind of sassily. Oli gave me a less than pleased look. “Don’t get cheeky with me Vic, I’m trying to warn you,” he said and glared at me. “Okay, then, sorry. What are you trying to warn me about?”
Honestly, I wasn’t afraid of Justin. “I love Kellin. Not the way the rest of them do, if they do. I mean—Kellin is one of my closest friends and I genuinely care about him. So I don’t want him to get hurt again. Justin broke his heart and he definitely still isn’t over it. I think…if Justin really anted him, then he would have him. Do you understand?” he asked and looked over at me again. He looked like he couldn’t quite explain what he was trying to say.
And it did make sense. “Justin has Kellin wrapped around his fingers. I get it. Why? What makes him so appealing?” I had never understood why people always wanted the one they couldn’t have. It was just plain stupid.
“Kellin likes attention. You’ve probably already noticed it, but his family is shit and they honestly just don’t care. So he never had that growing up. He wants someone to live him, and for some stupid reason, he wanted Justin. Jesse introduced the two of them about a year ago, and they sort of dated for a while. I don’t know what happened, but they broke up. Of course, Kellin was devastated, and Justin couldn’t give two shits, but he still kept him around. So they’ve spent the past year making each other jealous and then dating for a while, and then breaking up, and starting the whole thing over again.”
Oli gave me a minute to process everything he had said before talking again.
“I—if you really want to go after Kellin, then, be careful, yeah? He’s kinda fucked up, and if he had to choose, I think he would go back to Justin every time. But then again, Justin isn’t Kellin's only flaw,” he said and walked away from me.
I watched after him, thinking about everything he had said and wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. I had been here for two days and I was already getting myself into trouble. But I could handle a little trouble...right?

“Hey you,” Kellin said and fell down into the sand. I smiled wryly and looked back out at the water. “Hi,” I could feel him looking at me. “What’s wrong?” he asked and touched my arm. His fingers were cold on my skin, and looking over at him, his hair was wet. “You went swimming?” I asked to avoid his question and fake smiled at him.
“Yeah, but I saw you over here sulking and thought I would come talk to you. What’s wrong?” I sighed, figuring he wouldn’t give up until I told him. “Wait—did Oli talk about me?” he asked incredulously, a slightly angered tone to his voice.
“Oh my god, he did. Ugh, fuck him. What did he say to you?” he asked, glaring.
“Just that you and Justin still fuck with each other, and that you would probably dump me for him if you got the chance,” Kellin's mouth fell open in a little ‘o’, still glaring unhappily.
“No I wouldn’t. Oli doesn’t know shit about my relationship with Justin, and he should learn to keep his stupid British mouth shut. Besides, I already told you that I don’t want Justin anymore,” he ranted and crossed his arms.
“Hey, I never said anything about that. I just told you what Oli said to me. And I don’t think you should be mad at him. He’s only trying to protect the both of us, which is really surprising, considering your ‘friends’ have barely said a word to me,”
Kellin fumed next to me, glowering at the water in front of us. “Get used to it,” he muttered, only proving my point that he had shitty friends. “Why do you even hang out with them if they don’t care about you? And why are you mad at the only one of them who seems to give a damn if you get hurt, huh? So far, Oli is the only one who seems to actually treat you like a friend,”
He pressed his lips together and ignored my questions for what felt like hours. “Because they will. I hang out with them because they at least include me,” he said quietly, his eyes watering a little. Shit. “Please don’t cry Kellin. I didn’t mean to upset you,” I said quickly and scooted closer to him, wrapping my arms around his little frame.
“But everything you said is true. Oli has been my best friend since I we were little kids and I only know the rest of them because they were his friends first,” His voice quivered when he spoke, and I could tell he was close to tears. “But they’re still your friends now, Kellin, and they should treat you more like it,” he shrugged a tiny bit and leaned his head on my chest. “I don’t want Justin anymore. I’m sick of him acting like he owns me,” he whispered.
“So go out with me,” Kellin looked up at me questioningly and then pulled me down to kiss him.
It was a lot like our first kiss—or kisses—slow and gentle, just tasting each other.
We pulled away at the same time, our eyes meeting. “Not once has Justin ever kissed me like that,” he said and pressed his lips to mine again. His plush lips parted, his tongue flicking out to lick mine and deepen the kiss, but I pulled away slightly. “We’ve already gotten caught twice Kells, maybe we should save this for when we’re not in public.”
Kellin laughed this sweet little sound and nodded, moving out of my arms. “Later,” he said, smiling at me, and stood up, holding his hand out. “C’mon, let’s go get lunch,” ~

We walked to a little, beach-front restaurant and got a table in the back corner of the building, Kellin sitting across from me in a booth. “Have you been here before?” I asked and flipped the small, red menu open. “No, I think this is new. I don’t remember it being here the last time we were here,” he said, looking around the place. “It’s nice,” he said after a while and then looked down at his menu.
I flipped the page, deciding to just get a club sandwich and glanced at Kellin. He was nibbling on his lip, his black hair falling over his eyes. “Do you know what you want?” I asked him, and smiled when he looked up, a little pink blush coloring his cheeks. “Hm…I think I’ll get a chicken salad. What about you?” Kellin asked and sat back against the upholstered chair. The waitress walked up to our table before I got a chance to answer him, smiling happily at each of us and chewing gum.
“What can I get for the two for you boys?” she asked and pulled a little notepad out of the pocket of her apron. “Shall we just start with drinks, or are you ready to order?” I looked at Kellin, and then back up at her. “We’re ready. I’ll have a coke and the club sandwich,” I said, watching her scribble it down quickly. “And you cutie?” she asked Kellin, and popped the bubble gum she was chewing. “Um…I’ll have the chicken salad and a coke too please,” he said, ignoring the cute comment.
“Sure thing honey, is that all?” He nodded and turned back to me, an uncomfortable look on his face as she walked away. “She likes you,” I said teasingly and earning a glare from him. The waitress—whose name we had forgotten to ask for—was probably about thirty and it was hilarious to think she was hot for Kellin. “No she doesn’t,” he protested and pressed his lips together.
“Yes she does. She was checking you out the whole time she was taking our order,” Kellin was glaring at me. “Maybe she’s a cougar; going after cute little green-eyed boys,” I continued. “Ew, Vic!” he whined and threw his napkin at me.
“That’s really gross. I don’t want to date some woman my mom’s age,” I laughed, Kellin glaring at me until the woman returned with our drinks.
“Here you go,” she said, when she set Kellin’s drink down. “Your meals will be done soon,”
I smirked at Kellin until she left, holding in laughter. “You suck,” he said, pouting adorably and crossing his arms over his chest. “Yeah I do, but not in public Kell, it’s inappropriate.”
He flushed pink as I leaned forward to take a sip of my drink, my eyes meeting his, and my cheeks hollowing around the straw. “Stop that,” he muttered, squirming in his seat a little.
“Why? Am I turning you on?” I purred seductively and bit my lip. “No,” He made me laugh, taking an irritated sip of his coke. “I think our food is done,” I stated, watching the waitress strut towards us, supporting a large, black tray on her shoulder. She set my sandwich and fries down in front of me, nodding a bit when I thanked her, and then winked at Kellin as she sat his down.
He shot me a look, warning me not to say anything. “Enjoy your meals,” the woman said and walked off to another table. “Don’t say anything,” Kellin scolded me, picking up his fork and spearing a piece of chicken. “I wasn’t going to say anything,”
I poured some ketchup onto my plate and then dipped a fry into it before popping it into my mouth. “Hey Vic?” Kellin asked around a bite of his salad. I met his eyes, waiting for him to ask me something. “You never told me why you had to move here,” he stated. “That’s not a question,”
He rolled his eyes and took another sip of coke. “Why did you have to move here?” he asked. “Um…my mom got sick of my shit. I would stay out till like 3 am, and come home drunk, if I even came home, and she thinks that I smoke because Jenna does…” I said, trailing off and taking a bite of my sandwich. “Is Jenna your girlfriend?” I nodded and swallowed.
“If you want to call her that. My mom wants me to behave better, but of course, she had no idea that the good little boy she wanted me learn from is just as bad as I am,”
Kellin giggled and nodded. “We’re a pair,” he said, eating some more of his salad. Maybe didn’t have an eating disorder…. “How old are you?” I asked, realizing that I didn’t know. “Sixteen. What about you? Oh, and what’s your last name?” I had expected him to be younger than me, the rest of his family obviously was. “Seventeen, and Fuentes,” I said, smiling at him and eating my french fries. “What about your siblings? You’re the oldest right?” He nodded, an annoyed look crossing his face. “Yeah, I’m the oldest. Chris is fourteen, and the twins are eleven. But by the way, they’re not really my siblings. Mark is my stepfather,” Kellin said bitterly.
“You lost me,” I admitted, confused as to how he was still Bostwick. “My mom married him when she was still pregnant with me, so they put his name on my birth certificate. My mom was kind of a slut, so she had no idea who my real father was. And after Chris was born, she started bleaching her hair. She wanted to look like the rest of her family,” he said, a sour tone to his voice. “I’m sorry. That really sucks,”
I would probably resent my mom too if she specifically tried not to look like me. “It’s whatever. But I do prefer Quinn. I don’t know why though. It only points out the fact that I’m illegitimate.”
We ate in silence for a little before the waitress walked up to us, smiling at Kellin again. “Do you want anything else, or can I get the check for you?” she asked sweetly. “Um…Kell, are you finished?” He nodded and pushed the little bit of his salad away. “Then, yeah, the check please,”
She nodded and turned away quickly, headed to the little register on the bar.
I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket, getting a little glare from Kellin. “Who said that you’re paying?” he asked. “Why wouldn’t I pay?” I retorted, smirking at him. “Because I asked you to have lunch with me; so, I should pay for it,” Kellin explained and reached to pull my wallet away.
“That does make sense, but no. You still can’t pay,” I told him sassily and grinned as the waitress handed me the little black notebook. I slipped a twenty into the pocket, and handed it back to her, chuckling at the glare Kellin was sending me. I had given her about a three dollar tip, not wanting to give her the one of the last two tens in my wallet. I’m poor, sue me. “Ready to go?” I teased him and let him follow me out of the restaurant. “You suck,” he whined, pouting at me. “I already told you that I do,” ~