Samson
1/1.
_
I bet you miss your hair nowadays. You spent five years growing it out, as you would remind me as we laid on the grass. It looks like I've ruined that now.
It seems like I ruined everything of yours. You’ve painted me out to be everything that you’ve never wanted. I used to be your dream girl. I don’t know what happened. But now I’m told that everything that reminds you of me is something that you turn away from.
You were always a quiet sort of angry. A bit childish and unclear in your ways. Maybe you didn’t have the courage, or the heart, to say it to my face. You knew I would start crying and I wouldn’t be able to stop. My heart was already broken before I met you. I know you were aware of that when we kissed in the middle of that train station. Maybe you figured it out then, that you couldn’t break me anymore than the guy before had. Everybody was flooding by, moving so quickly. But we were so still. We were so fucking still. And I liked it that way.
But you were always so far ahead of me in everything, especially life. You just kept moving forward. Maybe I was the only one caught standing still. I still question it, everything, you. Especially you. I don’t know why you believed me or why I ever believed you. All you did was lie. And all I ever did was cover up your lies by lying to myself.
I still remember that morning, I hadn’t gotten any sleep after I figured out the truth. Every single one of your lies was unraveling. And all you could do was lie some more.
I wish I could have been there in person to tell you off. I wish I could have thrown a plate or a shard of glass, and you would have dodged it. Like a scene in one of those 90’s movies. And I could have screamed and you would have screamed back. Or, knowing you, you wouldn’t know what to do, you would probably stay silent. A scary kind of silent. A silent that would have riled me up even more. And I could have accused you of sleeping with that whore that you’re with now.
But, instead, I just didn’t pick up when you called.
I bet you miss your hair nowadays. You spent five years growing it out, as you would remind me as we laid on the grass. It looks like I've ruined that now.
It seems like I ruined everything of yours. You’ve painted me out to be everything that you’ve never wanted. I used to be your dream girl. I don’t know what happened. But now I’m told that everything that reminds you of me is something that you turn away from.
You were always a quiet sort of angry. A bit childish and unclear in your ways. Maybe you didn’t have the courage, or the heart, to say it to my face. You knew I would start crying and I wouldn’t be able to stop. My heart was already broken before I met you. I know you were aware of that when we kissed in the middle of that train station. Maybe you figured it out then, that you couldn’t break me anymore than the guy before had. Everybody was flooding by, moving so quickly. But we were so still. We were so fucking still. And I liked it that way.
But you were always so far ahead of me in everything, especially life. You just kept moving forward. Maybe I was the only one caught standing still. I still question it, everything, you. Especially you. I don’t know why you believed me or why I ever believed you. All you did was lie. And all I ever did was cover up your lies by lying to myself.
I still remember that morning, I hadn’t gotten any sleep after I figured out the truth. Every single one of your lies was unraveling. And all you could do was lie some more.
I wish I could have been there in person to tell you off. I wish I could have thrown a plate or a shard of glass, and you would have dodged it. Like a scene in one of those 90’s movies. And I could have screamed and you would have screamed back. Or, knowing you, you wouldn’t know what to do, you would probably stay silent. A scary kind of silent. A silent that would have riled me up even more. And I could have accused you of sleeping with that whore that you’re with now.
But, instead, I just didn’t pick up when you called.