Strings

Shelly sat on my bed and rambled on and on. I was kind of listening to her, but usually I could get away with a few noncommittal words like "Hmm's" and "Yeah's". She doesn't notice once she gets into a good ramble. I "Hmm'd" for about the sixth time, and she kept talking like she had my full attention.

She didn't though. My attention was far away at the moment. I sat across the room staring at the college application I was holding. I'd gotten my first acceptance letter. Columbia University. It isn't my go to college, but it was still really huge. My parents are going to be so excited, even though they want me to go to a better school. My dad is pushing for Harvard and my mom is rooting for Berkeley. It sucked having two successful parents who went to two amazing colleges. It makes everyone expect the same from you.

"Aggie," someone screamed my name. "AGGIE!" I jumped and looked over at Shelley. "Hello have you been listening to me? Because I think it's a little rude for you to ignore me when my life is hanging in the balance here?"

Rule number one of being Shelley's friend: The world is always coming to an end, even if it's over the stylist using French Roast instead of Espresso even though they are the exact same hair color.

"Sorry Shell you have my full attention," she rolled her eyes but smiled and started rambling again. This time is I had no choice but to pay attention.

"Okay so I'm valedictorian and I don't know how that happened, but it did - so that's great, but like I have no clue what to right for my stupid speech. We graduate in two weeks and all I have written so far is My fellow classmates. How lame is that?"

"Shelley I'm sure you will come up with something great," hopefully Jane Eyre's ghost will possess her body and write the speech for her. I don't think every other word being "like" or "seriously" sounds speech worthy.

"Thanks Aggie but that so doesn't help me right now. Anyway there are more pressing matters to deal with. Such as UCLA! We haven't heard back from them yet and we like need to know. We need to get on the housing list for a dorm. No way am I living off campus for the first semester. My real goal is to move into a sorority house, but freshman don't get to until they official members."

"Either way they need to stop dicking around and get our acceptance letters here. Aren't you like super excited? We're going to be college students this Fall."

"Yeah . . . I'm uh real excited." I avoided her eyes. I knew she would tell that I was actually less than thrilled about UCLA if she looked into my eyes. I didn't want to go to that college, I didn't want to go to any college.

"Another thing we need to focus on is this summer. So I was thinking New York or maybe Europe. I'm sure your parents would pay for you to go. Although once they find out you're not going to Harvard or Yale or whatever they're most likely to disown you." She laughed. I didn't. Shelley laughed because she thought she was making a joke, truth is though it's a possibility they might disown me if I don't go to one of their correct colleges.

"Um actually Shell I was thinking of staying home this summer," she made a high pitched noise that made me cringe.

"Stay home? Why Aggie. This is our last summer before college, living on our own, doing our own thing without parental supervision. We have to go away and celebrate!" She made that same high pitched noise.

"Shelley I want to spend it here in LA. I want go to the beach, spend time with other friends, party, dance, and I need to spend time with Alex. It's our last summer before we make the biggest decisions of our lives. I have to stay home." She glared but something told me she was going to cave. Whenever Shelley is going to give in she frowns and picks at her cuticles.

"Fine," ha I was right, "we'll stay home."

"How about we spend a month at my parents beach house. I know it's only an hour away, but at least we can be away from home for a little while."

"That sounds . . . so boring, but whatever." I rolled my eyes. "So you haven't told Alex about not traveling?"

"Uh no. I don't know how to yet." Alex and I have spent the past six years together. I love him, but over the last six years that love has turned into friendship more than love. I love him like I love Shelley. I don't want to hurt him, but I'm going to. I have to tell him the truth. I owe him that much, but that doesn't mean I have to run out and tell him right now. Selfish, I know.

"Well you better tell him before buys the plane tickets," Shelley said.

"I will," I snapped. I hated people telling me what to do and when to do it.

"No need to get bitchy," she sneered.

"It's not called bitchy." I snapped again.

"You're right it's super bitchy," I rolled my eyes and stopped before we started saying horrible things to each other. That's how our fights always turn out. Even though we get over whatever said in less than an hour.

"AGGIE?" Someone yelled up the stairs. It was my mom Helen.

Three things to know about my mom.

One: She's never not dressed to impress. Suits, dresses, designer clothes, polished manicured nails, and not a gray hair in sight.

My mom can be considered the most beautiful woman in the world. At forty-five she has a perfect figure, no wrinkles, beautiful chestnut hair, and smile that lit up the room. I inherited most of her looks except my hair was blond like my fathers.

Two: She's a doctor and very proud of it. Hanging in the living room wall next to our family picture is a copy of her license to practice medicine.

It's there so she can bring up at parties to boast about it. She might be prideful, but being a doctor is something to be proud of.

Three: She is perfect.

You might think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. She really is perfect. Everyone that comes in contact with her, loves her instantly. Sometimes I watch my dad when he's staring at her and it's like watching a man whose been blind his entire life get his eyesight back. I want a man to look at me that way.

"COMING MOM," I shouted back. I tossed the acceptance letter on my bed after Shelley stood up, and I left the room.

Shelley followed after me.

"I'm going to take off. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Okay bye," she called goodbye to my mom and took off out the front door.

"Hey mom," I said when I went into the kitchen. She was putting away groceries. "Guess what?"

"What?" No one ever bothered to guess.

"I got into Columbia," she gasped and turned around.

"Oh honey that's marvelous. I mean it's no Berkeley but still," she rushed over and hugged me. "But I'm sure you'll get into Berkeley and then you need look no further."

"Tell that to dad," I mumbled.

"Your father thinks Harvard is the best school in the world, and sure it's great school but it's still no Berkeley."

"Mom?"

"What?" She sounded suspicious.

"Would you be mad if I chose to go somewhere other than Berkeley?"

"Well I'd be disappointed but I'd get over it. It is your life Agatha and no one is in control of it except you. Do what you want, but please think about your decisions thoroughly before you make them." She kissed my forehead and started pulling out pots and pans to cook dinner.

"Is dad going to be home for dinner?" I asked. About three times a week he didn't make it for dinner. He worked long hours at his law firm. Most nights mom wasn't hear either. I ate alone a lot. It's never bothered me.

"Last I talked to him," she said.

"Mom what if I don't want to be a lawyer?"

"Then be a doctor," her answer was automatic.

"What if I don't want to be a doctor?" I asked.

She sighed loudly and slammed the skillet she was holding down on the oven. She turned me and shook her long brown hair covered head.

"Why are you asking me Aggie? Didn't I just say that it's your life and you can do whatever you want with it? You can become whatever you want. Yes your father and I want what's best for you and becoming a lawyer or a doctor is what we think is best. That doesn't mean you have to do."

"You're right. Sorry for upsetting you." She sighed again and turned back to the stove.

"Aggie you're a smart girl. That's one thing I'll always be able to depend upon. I know you will make the right decision . . . for you." I wonder why she put that pause in? I didn't ask though for fear of upsetting her again.

I left the kitchen and went back upstairs to my room. The acceptance letter to Columbia was still on my bed. I picked it up and sighed. I crumbled the letter up in my hand and threw it into the trash bin I had put in the corner. At least I knew one thing for sure. I wasn't going to Columbia University.