Strings

High school is a big part of our lives, even if we don't want to admit that. I can honestly say that in two weeks - when it's all over - I will not miss a damn thing about this school. Not the people, except maybe the handful of friends I have. Not the teachers, work, pep rallies, losing football team, and that one teacher who always wants to be pals. High school to me was a prison for kids and teens so that for eight hours of the day we don't have to be seen by adults.

Still none of that is going to matter in two weeks. Even though they try to make us remember by selling yearbooks. Sixty dollars for a book filled with pictures of students. Half of them unknown by the other half of the people who aren't known by the unknown half. You're buying a book filled with pictures of strangers.

I'm sad to say I'm standing in line to pick up my yearbook. I wasn't going to buy one, but my mom insisted on me getting one. "You'll want to look back Aggie. You'll regret it if you don't get a yearbook of your senior year." How very wrong she was. This is the one year I wanted to forget.

This year I realized it was all going to be over and big changes in my life were coming at me too fast. This was the year I'd have to disappoint so many people in my life. This was the year I realized I wasn't prepared for the real world. This was the year I realized I didn't want to be with Alex anymore. This is the year I'm going to find myself alone for the first time in six years.

The scariest thing I've realized this year is . . . I don't know who I am.

For years I've been Alex's girlfriend or the daughter of the best doctor in the entire state. I've never been just Agatha Lansdale. Everyone who's ever met me has known me from my parents or through Alex. When I leave home, people are going to know me, Aggie. Too bad I didn't know who she was.

"Here you go," the girl from yearbook committee said as she handed me my yearbook. She smiled and some pink lip gloss was on one of her front teeth. I didn't tell her.

"Agatha," no one called me that except my parents or Alex. I looked up and there was a boy who had to be a Sophomore, maybe junior. I think I've noticed him once or twice. He was short - too short for a boy anyway. His blonde hair was in his eyes, and through the fringe I could tell they were murky brown.

"Yes?" I said. I didn't know his name and I didn't bother asking.

"Sign my yearbook?" He asked. Seriously? I don't even know you. I wasn't one for being rude - at least not all the time.

"Uh sure," he handed his yearbook over and without asking snatched mine from underneath my arm. I didn't have much to write so I went with super simple - Have a nice summer.

We traded books back. I smiled and walked away without saying goodbye. I opened the book to the back page - It was a great four years with you. I'll never forget the time I accidentally spilled chocolate milk on you. Hope you get everything you want out of life. - Lenny.

Four years? I didn't even know him. I don't even remember having chocolate milk spilled on me. Now I feel terrible for writing have a good summer in his yearbook. I flipped through the book until I found my picture. It was an alright picture. Not my favorite but it would do.

"Did you get it? Did you get it?" I felt Shelley rush into me and I slammed up against the wall. "Oops sorry," she said. I glared and pushed her away from. Shelley smiled timidly at me, her blonde curls shaping her face to give her a look of innocence. She was so not innocent. Matt Low, Collin Hastle, and Lincoln price could prove that.

"Here," I snapped and shoved the yearbook into her arms.

"I'm not signing this," she snapped and handed back to me.

"Why not?" Not that I cared.

"Because I'm not going to miss you," I goggled at her. "We're going UCLA together. Not to mention marry at the same age, get pregnant at the same time, live next to door to each other and have our children grow up being best friends. Then we'll retire in some old folks and raise some hell there."

"Okay," was all I could think to say. How could I tell her that I wanted all of those things now except for UCLA?

"Yeah anyway Alex is looking for you. He said if I found you first to call him." I sighed and pulled out my phone. The phone rang twice before Alex picked up.

"How is the most beautiful girl in the world today?" I smiled. He made it seem like I was the only light in his life. That light was going to blow a fuse soon.

"I'm fine. Where are you?"

"Mr. Sayers room. He's signing my yearbook." I shook my head knowing that he couldn't see it. Last thing I wanted was to remember the teachers.

"I'm outside the cafeteria with Shelley. I'll wait here for you." I hung up before he could say goodbye. He wouldn't mind.

"There's Collin. I'm gonna have him sign my yearbook," like he didn't leave enough of an impression on her. Junior year you couldn't walk through the halls without someone whispering about Collin and Shelley.

I sat down at one of the circular tables. Three people walked by and asked me to sign their yearbooks. I didn't know them, so I used the have a nice summer quote again. Alex finally showed up. His short black hair and dark blue eyes shocked me the first time I'd ever met him. My very first thought of him was he was too good looking. Now it was all too familiar. Nothing about Alex shocked me anymore.

"Hey you," he kissed me and I pulled away before he did.

"Hey," he frowned for a moment before smiling.

"Look," he opened his yearbook and laid it in front of me. "We made cutest couple."

Sure enough there was a picture of Alex and me kissing on page eighty two. Someone had drawn a heart in purple ink around us. It must have been Alex. My stomach flip-flopped. How could break his heart when he loves me so much?

"Wow," was all I could find myself saying. What I really wanted to do was the page out and tear into tiny little pieces.

"Yeah I thought we could frame this and have it in every house we live in when we travel." I turned my head so he wouldn't see the expression of shock on my face. "Speaking of traveling. I thought we could go and have our passports done tomorrow. We really should start thinking of the future."

"Um yeah sure," I said. Why did I say that? My future doesn't involve him and Spain or wherever else he wants to go.

"Good. I love you," he grabbed my hand and held it tight. I couldn't pull away even though I tried.

"Love you too," I lie way too much.