Halloween

So this is what it feels like to be alone in a crowded room, She thought to herself.

Ever since she was born she had been the center of attention. She just had that quality about her that drew someone in. Maybe it was her big, periwinkle colored eyes. Maybe it was her charming smile. However, she was quite convinced it may have had something to do with the fact that she was the mayor's daughter, and people felt like they needed to know her. Whatever it was, she was certainly born with a silver spoon in her mouth.

Throughout her life she had been the perfect, protected golden child of Cincinnati. Ohio's own American Sweetheart. Everyone knew who she was and everyone loved her. Her family was the portrait of perfection; a husband and wife that loved each other profoundly, and their beautiful daughter who could do no wrong.

She didn't want any of it, though; never had or would. Money meant nothing to her. Jewelry, fame, cars, designer clothes... She refused all of it. But boy, did she play the part when she was on camera. Anything to keep her father in office. If that meant that she had to be someone she hated, so be it.

It was her sixteenth birthday when she met him. After an extravagant Sweet 16 celebration that her mother had thrown for her, she took that brand new Jaguar she was given out for a spin in the busy, Cincinnati streets. All she wanted was to get away from everything; the blaring music, the fake friends. She had just gotten her license, and she planned to make full use of it; top down, wind blowing through her perfectly curled hair. She needed to get away.

It wasn't until she heard a loud pop, followed by thud thud thud, that her night time getaway turned sour.

"This is just great!" She yelled at no one as she found a place to pull over. It was obviously sarcasm, because she was on a deserted, dark street in the wrong part of town and had a flat tire. There was nothing great about this situation, at all. "You know, I wish someone would jump out of the shadows and murder me. That'd just top of the best sixteenth birthday ever!" There was that fake enthusiasm again.

She was actually quite scared. There was no way she would be able to protect herself. And while wearing a fluffy, purple party dress, she knew there was definitely a giant target on her back. Her phone was dead. It usually was on the account that she never charged it. There was no one she wanted to be talking to, anyways.

Except in this moment, of course. She'd love to be talking to a police officer or her father, or anyone that could help her, really. A loud groan escaped from her throat as she kicked the defected tire. "All I wanted to do was go for a little drive. That's it! Just a little time to myself so that I can think clearly for once!"

Her foot collided with the tire once more.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it easy there, Princess. If you're not careful, you'll ruin your shoes."

The voice startled her, causing her to jump to the boyish tone. She turned cautiously to the direction of the sound, only to meet the gaze of a long haired, blonde boy. He couldn't have been much older than her. She pegged him to be, at most, seventeen. He was tall, though. Much, much taller than she was; even in heels. I can take him, She thought to herself. If it came down to it, she would fight this kid. She might as well take her chances against him, seeing as her only other option was to run.

"You okay?" He asked her.

"Life's a peach! Can't ya tell?" Her arms fell to her sides as she leaned up against the side of her brand new car.

She silently wished this guy would forget the small talk and cut to the chase; either he was going to help her or kidnap her and hold her for ransom. Whatever the case, she wanted him to get to it. A gym bag hung over the boy's shoulder as he studied the flat tire. Her mind ran wild with the kinds of things that could be inside; guns, drugs, money from the bank he had probably just robbed.

"It's just a flat, ya know." He replied after a few moments. "I can fix it if you got a spare."

She had completely forgotten about a spare tire, and mentally kicked herself for doing so. Not that a spare tire would have been much help to her, not if she didn't know how to change it. The boy motioned for her to open her trunk, she obliged. Underneath the mat was the extra tire and all the tools he needed to switch it over. She was thankful that he was going to help her, but still kept an eye on that bag.

"What's your name?" She asked him.

"Jon." He replied in a grunt as he worked on her tire. "You?"

She was taken back for a moment. It was always surprising when she met someone who didn't already know who she was. "Uh-" She stuttered for a moment, thinking of a name. She looked at her surroundings; road, buildings, car, gym bag, tire, Jack's Diner up the street. "I'm Jackie." An obvious lie that Jon picked up on easily. He didn't say anything though, as he tightened the bolts on the rim.

"All done!"

He rolled the junk tire out of the road as she studied his work. "Are you sure it's on there properly? I don't want to be on the highway and the whole thing fly off."

"You're welcome." He replied, rolling his eyes. Jon picked his gym bag up from the damp ground and swung it back over his shoulder. "See ya, Jackie!" He called as he began walking back up the street.

It was hard for her to believe that it had been twelve years. She had been so young and stupid; scolding herself in the middle of a dark street, right out in the open. The memory almost made her laugh, thinking about how she thought the young boy's gym bag was filled with drugs and stolen cash. The urge to laugh was almost immediately snubbed out by the immense, deep-rooted, gut wrenching feeling of guilt. The feeling that had made a home in the pit of her stomach over the past month. No matter how hard she tried to get rid of it, it proved to be too much of a match for her. At the end of the day, she'd always come back to that feeling.

That's what today was for.

It was her family's annual Thanksgiving Day dinner. Her mother, who was always looking out for her daughter's best interest, felt like this would be good for her. "It'll take your mind off of things," she said. "It'll give you something to do." Was it ever really that easy, though? The answer to that was a definite 'no'. It didn't matter what she invested her time into; knitting, baking, scrap booking, pottery classes... Her mind never left those blue eyes and perfect smile.

Jonathan Good was the kid who never fit in. He liked to fight, he got into too much trouble, and she couldn't have fallen harder if she had tried. His arrogant, damaged personality should have never fit in with her proper and pristine life. The two were on opposite ends of the spectrum, it should have never worked. Yet somehow, it did.

She found him again after the night they first met. He was sitting in a booth in the corner of Jack's Diner. She had been secretly sneaking out there a few night's a week, hoping that she may see him. There wasn't a reason she could think of as to why she had wanted to run into him again, she just did. There was something about the kid that screamed excitement, but also loyalty, and danger; the three main ingredients that her life was missing.

She had been at Jack's almost every night, with the exception of Sundays and Wednesdays. Just when she was starting to give up hope that she might not ever see him again, she found him.

"Well, if it isn't the damsel in distress." He said upon seeing her enter the small restaurant. His voice was like honey to her ears.

She rolled her eyes, pretending to be annoyed. If there was anything she knew how to do, it was pretend. "I wasn't in distress."

"Ah, of course. The Mayor's daughter can hold her own, I forgot." He played.

Her spine stiffened. He knew who she was. Her plan to pretend to be some, middle class nobody had definitely just flown out the window. "You know?"

"It's kind of hard to miss when you're the front page of the Cincinnati Enquirer." He held up the newspaper in front of him. Sure enough, her sixteenth birthday bash had made front page news, and there she was dancing wildly in that poofy, purple dress. "Happy birthday, by the way."

She was shocked. "Y-you know?"

"Calm down, I could care less who you are." He gestured for her to sit down in the set across him. She obliged. "What I want to know is what Cincinnati's own Teen Dream is doing at Jack's diner of all places this late on a school night?"

From that night on, the two were inseparable. She would do her homework and then sneak out to meet Jon, staying out for hours under the city lights; they'd talk about everything. He took her to a Pizza Hut for their first date, which he paid for with coupons he got out of the Sunday paper. She introduced him to her family, who didn't even try to hide the fact that they didn't approve. Jon let her meet his friends, who absolutely adored her. After he decided to drop out of high school, she stayed by his side and watched him train; listening to all his dreams of becoming a professional wrestler.

When he got his first apartment, Jon asked her to move in with him. It wasn't much; a tiny, dingy one bedroom apartment that sat over a run-down Chinese food place. She said yes immediately, ignoring the wishes of her parents. She dyed her hair jet black, throwing away the perfect image of the Mayor's daughter for a more edgy look; hoping to blend in a little bit more and not have a camera following her around everywhere she went.

She was so proud of him and how quickly he was moving up in the independent wrestling scene. He was her champion, and whether or not he was holding a belt, that would always remain true. Between working and going to school, she tried to attend every match she could to cheer him on. But, on the nights she couldn't make it, when he would travel to different cities to compete, she would congratulate him in a different way when he got home.

After a few years, they traded their Cincinnati apartment for one in Philly. Jon was getting bigger and bigger with every match that he had competed in, and she knew that his dreams of reaching the big leagues weren't far from being achieved. When he got that call, she couldn't have been more excited for him. Even though she would miss Philadelphia, she was excited to move to Florida.

Despite being together for a near ten years, there was still no wedding ring around her finger. Jon promised her that once he was sure that wrestling was going to be for the rest of his life, there would be. It wasn't good enough for her, but she pretended it was. Everyone she knew was married with kids, and here she was almost twenty-six years old, still following around her superstar boyfriend while he achieved his dreams. She found herself longing for more during the nights he was away. Rumors about his time on the road began to spread like wildfire, and she did her best to ignore them, but there was no hiding that their relationship had hit a serious snag.

"Vegas?" She asked him over the phone.

"I'm not hearing any excitement in your voice." He replied.

"That's because there isn't any. Don't you think that maybe you should have asked me what I wanted?"

"I thought being with me was what you wanted?"

She sighed. That wasn't what she meant, but leave it to Jon to take it the wrong way. She didn't want to live in Vegas. She loved Florida. She had friends there and a great job. She didn't want to give those things up, but she loved Jon more than she loved anything, and she would do anything for him. If he wanted to live in Vegas, that's where she would go. After ten years, there was no going back now. Her life was set in stone.

At least, she thought it was.

She hated her parent's mansion. It was too big, too clean, and the view of the Sandusky Bay was so beautiful that it made her sick to her stomach. Moving back to Ohio was a mistake, she knew that, but her mother was just so worried about her and wanted her daughter closer. And by closer, she meant under the same roof.

The pastel, Nevada sky was calling her back home, though. She could hear it from a few thousand miles away. She missed the small, Spanish-style house she had become so attached to. She knew the reason was because it was the last piece of Jon she had, but even that wasn't enough to bring her back. It killed her knowing that a 'For Sale' sign sat in the front yard of the Vegas home they had settled down in, but being in that house was like ripping your own heart out. At any moment she just knew he was going to come walking through that front door, or crawl into bed next to her in the middle of the night, or be making her breakfast while she slept in on a Saturday morning.

Only, he wasn't going to be doing any of those things.

"Happy Halloween!" She called after the children who ran, screaming in excitement.

It was almost dark, her friend's Halloween party would be starting soon. She checked her watch, wondering where Jon was. He should have already been there, ready to go with her; his flight landed an hour ago. She pulled out her phone and sent him a quick text letting him know she was going to go on ahead, and to just meet her there. She glanced in the mirror, double-checking to make sure that her face paint was perfect.

As she walked out to her car, she noticed that her trashcans had been pulled up her driveway. She didn't think anything of it, guessing that her neighbor had moved it for her, which he had done before in the past. she eyed the garbage cans as she walked quickly by them.

She let out a loud scream when a man in a bloody clown mask jumped from behind the empty containers.

"BOOGAH BOOGAHAHAHAHA!" Jon pulled the mask from his face, unable to control his laughter. "You should have seen your face!" He did his best impersonation of her, but she wasn't impressed. He laughed more. "Did you decide to be a Sour Puss this year, because you're pulling it off effortlessly."

Her arms were across her chest, foot tapping irritably on the pavement. "You're an hour late." She stated. "Where were you?"

Jon nodded his head and rolled his eyes. He knew where this was going. Their arguments always ended up being about him cheating on her. "We're going to a Halloween party, I needed a costume."

She didn't buy it. She never did. Over the years, the rumors just got harder and harder to deny. It was difficult to trust someone she never saw anymore. Jon could feel the strain, too. And while he had the opportunity to do so many times, he never once laid a hand on another woman. He loved the one he had, and always has. It didn't matter what his answer was, she didn't believe him, and it killed him to know that after twelve years, her trust in him had vanished.

The party only added fuel to the already blazing fire. Free booze, countless girls in slutty costumes, and the fact that he was WWE Superstar Dean Ambrose! There was a flock of girls surrounding him the entire night. She watched on as he flirted with each one; whiskey in one hand and a Sharpie in the other signing their chests. It was pathetic.

When his groupies finally got bored, he found his way over to her. She was pouring herself another much needed drink. He placed his hand on her arm, but she avoided his touch.

"What'sa matter?" He slurred.

"How many girls are you going to flirt with in front of me tonight, Jon? Huh?" She asked. Her blood was boiling beneath her skin.

"I'm not fuckin' cheatin' on ya!" He yelled.

"I don't believe you."

Jon scoffed. "Fuckin' done with this shit, man! I don' need this shit, I'm gettin' the fuck outta here."

"Don't forget your keys." She spat, tossing his keys in his direction. "Or that whore in the living room."

She had left the Thanksgiving dinner and retreated to her bedroom. There were too many people were smiling in her face, too many apologies, too many people telling her that it'll get better. It would never get better. It had only been a month and everyone had moved on; her family, his family, her friends, and his friends. Their lives had picked up and carried on, but she was stuck; trapped in the quicksand that was guilt.

It was her fault, after all.

A soft knock came from the door. "Yes?" She asked.

Her mother gently pushed it open, stepping inside. "You disappeared."

She shrugged. "I decided I was done."

A hand rested on her shoulder, and she looked up to meet her mother's sympathetic gaze. "Honey," She spoke so softly. "It's time to move on."

The younger woman was offended, shrugging her mother's hand away. "Move on? I don't want to move on! I don't want to try again. Everybody says 'time will heal' and 'time will mend', well guess what? It's not healing and it's not mending. You don't understand, mom. You and dad, you'll never understand. Jon and I were like this!" She held up two crossed fingers. "We were like this since the moment we met. You'll never understand that because you didn't approve of him, you never took the chance to get to know him. He was the best part of my life. He made me so happy, and reminded me that it's okay to be myself or whoever I wanted to be. I never wanted to be the 'Mayor's daughter'. I was never that girl. I was only myself when I was with Jon, and now he's gone. He's never coming back!" She was crying now. "It's all my fault."

Her mother held her tightly as she sobbed. "It's not your fault, baby."

"I shouldn't have given him the keys." She cried. "I gave him the keys."

"You can't dwell on that, sweetie. Everyone makes mistakes, but if you dwell on those mistakes for the rest of your life, the guilt will eat you alive. I know that those casseroles and sympathy cards aren't what you want, but baby, it's a start. I'm not asking you to put on a dress and go find another man, because no one will ever replace Jon. I just want you to find your happiness again, even if it's just a tiny bit."

Her mother stood up, giving her daughter a kiss on the top of her head. "Come back downstairs, sweetie."

"I'll be there in a minute."

She watched as her mother left and shut the door quietly behind her. On the bedside table next to her was a small polaroid photo of Jon. She smiled, lightly touching her fingers to his face. She missed his stupid smile, and his laugh, and his dimples. She wanted nothing more than hear him say her name one more time. But, she settled for hearing it in her memories.

"I love you," she whispered. "I'll be with you someday."