Under the City Lights

I entered the class room, seeing my long-term boyfriend, Devin, smiling at me as I sat down at the desk.

"Hey, Chris!"

"Hi." I kissed him softly, laying my head on his shoulder, and began talking with everyone at the table, laughing at all of the stupid jokes and stories, our usual routine.

"So then, he comes barging into my room, drunker than hell, screaming about a goose in the fridge that ate all his pickles."

"Dude, your dad is a fucking nut case!" I shook my head, waiting as the final bell rang and we could leave. I followed Dev out to his car, smiling at him as we drove out of the school parking lot.

"I'll see you tonight, love." I kissed him and got out, walking up the steps of the porch and greeting my mom. I went up to my room, starting on the English assignment that was due Monday.

Couple more days... I got about halfway through it before I had to get ready for mine and Devin's date. I pulled out an outfit I hadn't worn in a while; a black skirt, a belt made up of a bunch of handcuffs, a shirt with a white, paint-looking graphic on it, black stockings, hold-ups, and a denim jacket and scarf. I cleaned up, got dressed, and walked out as he pulled up.

"You look good!" I smiled and sat in the car, his hand slipping into mine as we drove. It was a quiet evening, gone off to the movies to see a horror film we wouldn't remember tomorrow.

After all, there's a back row in every theatre for a reason...

"I love you." He smiled at me, grey-green eyes as wide as the sky.

"I love you, too." We ended up at a park after the film, sitting between the trees on a tall hill, looking out at the lights that painted the Bellvue skyline in little flecks of orange and white. He was sitting between my legs, my arms around his torso. I loved these little moments where the only thing needed was silently sitting like this, just holding one another.

"Promise you won't forget me, Dev?" He turned and looked at me, shock written on his face.

"What- what do you mean by that?"

"I just- If something happens to me, just don't forget me."

"I will never forget you, Christopher. You're my one and only; I couldn't forget you even if I wanted to."

"Please, please, just promise me, Dev..."

"I promise that if anything happens, I will never forget you." He held my face in his hands, his eyes looking into mine.

"Okay." He kissed me, soft and slow, his hands firm on my jaw.

"Promise me I'll see you tomorrow, love." I swallowed thickly, looking into those watery depths.

"You'll see me tomorrow, Devin. I promise." He nodded, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Just a few weeks more, Chris... A few weeks more, and we'll be out of here, on our way to Europe. Just a few weeks. We'll make it. You'll make it." I stayed silent, absently playing with a loose thread on his shirt.

~*~

I turned in my English report, walking back to my spot, feeling something hit my leg and making me trip. I hit the floor hard, getting up and dusting myself off before reaching my spot, ignoring their laughter.

Don't acknowledge them; they see it as victory.

~*~

I shook as they all surrounded me, wanting nothing more than to see Devin, Josh, and Matt walk out of the school doors, but they were held up in class. I wasn't a good fighter in one on one, let alone able to hold my own five to one.

"Looks like we've caught a little faggot, boys!"

"P-please, I-I have to get home." I needed to get out of this; I needed to get away.

"Why? We're all gonna have some fun today, sweetheart." I stepped back, but I was already against the wall, my heart pounding in my ears.

"Now, listen here; you be a good, compliant little whore, and this all goes over smoothly, no unneccessary damage, and we'll even give you something in return. If you don't behave and follow instructions, though, well, it's not going to be as fun for you."

"W-what do you want f-from me? I-I have to g-get home; my parents-"

"Would believe that you have tutorials. Now, you're going to come with us, or we'll take it out on your pretty little lover boy, and I don't think you want that, now do you?"

~*~

The things they did, it was... I tried to block them out, ignoring it. The most I had done was throw their 'gift' back at them, which they picked up again and then left.

I curled in on myself, the cold of the walls and floor sinking into my bare body. I didn't look up as the door opened, but I did hear the soft obscenity that left his lips.

Cold hands landed softly on my arms and I jerked away violently, whimpering as my head slammed against the wall.

"Hey, look at me, Chris. You're okay, you're safe now. Doll, you're safe now, I'm not gonna hurt you." He gently placed his hands back on me, quietly lifting me up and carrying me somewhere.

"I'm gonna clean you up, love." He sat me down in the stall at the end, since it was the only one that had a removable shower head. The water was cold, nearly freezing, but it was much better than the frost like bite of the floor.

"Here; it'll be pretty large on you, so you'll at least be covered while I get you home." He handed me his hoodie, which draped off my body like a dress, and then a pair of basket ball shorts from a bag. I pulled them on, seeing him pick up the clothes I'd been wearing and putting them in a different bag before taking my hand and leading me out.

~*~

We pulled up outside of my house and I slowly walked in, pulling on clothes that wouldn't agitate my sore, battered body, and laid down on my bed, feeling it dip down in front of me as Devin laid down.

"I'm going to kill them for this, Chris... This is too much for them to do. This is the final straw. The insults were bad enough, but I'm going to kill them now."

"No! Don't- don't tell anyone, and don't do anything!" It was bad enough he'd seen that; I didn't need anyone else knowing about it.

"Chris, I'm not letting those bastards get away with this; they've gotten off too easy in the past, but this... I'm going to make them pay for this." He looked extremely angry, and I was scared that he was mad at me.

"Please... D-don't be m-mad at me..." His eyes softened and he carefully pulled me close to him, holding on to me like I was breakable.

"I'm not mad at you for this, love; I'm mad because they think they can do this to you and get away with it." I rested my head on his shoulder, willing the dull pangs of agony pulsing through me to stop. He started singing quietly, gently pulling the blanket up over us.

"I love you, my little porcelain doll." He whispered, kissing my head. He stayed with me far past when he should have left, but a small lie to his father got him off the hook, and my mom didn't really know, seeing as she worked nights. He stayed with me, from that day to the midst of the next week, when he confronted the same group who'd done those things to me, demanding action against them from the school board.

"What if it was your child, Gragg? What would you do, then?" I stayed quiet, looking fearfully at the ground while he argued with the principal.

"If there's no security tape of it, we have the word of mouth from a sixteen year old boy that his boyfriend was sexually assaulted in the locker room, and nobody will believe that! I want to help you, but there's not much I can do until we find and look at the tapes!" I saw the defeat in the older man's eyes, like he was already giving up.

"Th-they r-recorded it... All of i-it... I-I don't k-know if they're dumb enough to leave t-the c-camera here, b-but it's worth a sh-shot..." They both looked at me, Gragg nodding slowly.

"If it's in any of their possession... Then we have our evidence." The five who had assaulted me were called down, their persons, backpacks, and lockers searched to see if the camera was with them. One of the security officers found the camera and five copies of the tape, all in their lockers. I stayed close to Devin as they stared at me, almost like they were trying to kill me.

"You know, you've got a very vocal little bitch boy, Michaels. He's a screamer." Devin shot up, almost pinning Lucas to the wall.

"Don't you dare fucking talk about him like that, you fucking bastard! Come near him again and I'll let you experience slow, sadistic death firsthand!" The cops pulled him off of him, steeping between the two, and reading the five their rights before charging, cuffing, and escorting them out.

~*~

"Charles Matthews, Jonathon Crane, Lucas Fray, Josiah Franks, and Michael Conklin, you are hereby sentenced to ten years in prison for the sexual assault and rape of Christopher Derrick, and possession of child pornography, with no parole. Court is adjourned." The relief that washed through me was unimaginable when I heard the judge sentence them; it was one of the best days of my life.

~*~

"Chris! Chris, babe, wake up! Wake up, it's okay!" My eyes shot open and I clung on to Devin, shaking violently as I sobbed. He held me tightly, rocking me back and forth as I curled up in his lap.

"It's alright baby, I'm here. I got you, it's gonna be alright." He ran his hand over my back, waiting until I was calmed down enough to talk.

"Th-they're getting w-worse!" I didn't want these dreams anymore; I couldn't take the memories replaying over and over again, robbing me of the little bit of sleep I could barely get.

"Babe, it'll be okay; I'm gonna help you get through them. I'm gonna find a way to stop them." He kissed the side of my head, still rocking me back and forth.

"I'm gonna go make some tea. I'll be right back." I nodded and curled up on the bed, clutching his pillow. Don't ask me, it smelled like him and made me a little more comfortable with being alone. The night terror replayed in my head, and so did everything I'd gone through; the pain, the fear, the humiliation, the hate and disgust. It all replayed over and over, and it was like I couldn't stop it.

"Don't do that to yourself, doll." Devin sat the mugs down on the bedside table and sat in front of me, tilting my head up so I was looking at him.

"Don't do what to myself?"

"Think so hard and pin it all on yourself. You're the victim, not the one who committed or caused the actions."

"I went with them, though! I went with them, so I did cause what happened to me!"

"They threatened you, Chris! They threatened you, and they're getting back what they did to you."

"They didn't threaten me, Devin... They threatened you... That's why I went with them; they were gonna hurt you... I wasn't going to let you get hurt." I looked at the bed sheets in fear, frightened of what I'd see if I looked at him.

He tilted my head, giving me nowhere else to look but his eyes as he spoke.

"Never, and I mean fucking never sacrifice yourself or your peace of mind to protect me again, Christopher Matthew Derrick. My physical well being is nowhere near as valuable as your mental and emotional stability. Next time, let me be the one to make the rash, idiotic choice, because I will not let you go through this ever again so long as I can call you mine. You are everything to me; I've gotten into fights for you before, I'll get into more for you, but never, ever, make this kind of choice again; I'm. Not. Worth. Your. Health." He was crying; I made him cry.

His tears hit my face, and I reached up and wiped them away with my thumb. He looked at me, I looked at him, and I couldn't help it. I pulled him down closer to me, kissing him with everything in me. I needed him, I needed his body on mine, his touch; I just needed him.

~*~

I curled against him, feeling him run his thumb in circles over my hip. I kissed his shoulder softly, almost truly happy for the first time since we'd moved into the apartment together, just days after the trial.

"I love you, so, so, so much, Chris; you know that, right?"

"Y-yes... Why do you sound so nervous?"

"I-I love you, I love you a lot, and it scares me to think I may never have you by me again, and I-I don't want that to ever happen... What I-I'm trying to s-say is, I want y-you in my l-life forever... Christopher Matthew Derrick, will you marry me?" I didn't even think twice about my answer, I just dived in.

"Yes. Yes, Devin Jonathon Michaels, I will marry you." He kissed me, smiling into it, his hands gently resting on my torso. He broke away and rested his forehead against mine, his breath fanning over my lips softly.

"I can't wait." He whispered, his eyes warm.

~*~

I stood quietly in the shadows, looking down the aisle to my soon to be husband; the black suit seemed melted into the fabric of the night, and he was standing at the altar, his best friend, Ricky, as his best man, and I had my best friend Darren as mine.

"You ready?"

"Yeah, Mom. I'm ready." She smiled at me and took my arm, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"I honestly can't think of a better man for you, Chris. I know that your dad would agree if he was here." We started walking down the stone walkway, pausing just before the altar.

"Who is giving this young man away?"

"I am." The Justice nodded, and my mom waited until Devin took my arm to let go.

"You take care of my son, Devin."

"I will, Mrs. Derrick." My mom nodded, stepped back, and took her seat as the ceremony began.

~*~

"You may exchange your vows."

"I've known, since I first met you freshman year, that you were someone I would have in my life for a long time. I didn't have the guts to ask you out until the sophmore winter formal, and even then I was still nervous as hell; but you said yes, and to think that if you hadn't said yes, I wouldn't be standing in front of the most amazing man I've ever known in my life. I know that marrying you today is going to be the best decision I'll ever make in my life, because I can say that I love you with everything in me, and if it wasn't me standing here with you, I'd still be happy for you because you'd be marrying someone that you care about and cared about you. You are the most important thing in my life, and I'm never going to leave you until you look me in the eye and tell me you hate me, want me to leave, and never want to see me again. I love you, and that will never change."

"I remember seeing you freshman year, that first day of school, and I wanted to know you. I never thought that talking to the new kid who despised talking to humans would lead to this, but I'm glad it did; our sophmore year was when I really took a liking to you, but the winter formal is when I knew it was returned. Even though we did get barred from the dance, that was still the best night of my high school experience. I love you, and that has not, will not, and is never going to change." The grip we had on each other was stronger with each word, until I feared that I may have left bruises in his bones that he may have duplicated.

"The rings, please." My neice, in a crimson dress with a layered skirt, walked down the aisle, holding a little black pillow that had a pair of silver rings on it.

"Devin, repeat after me; I, Devin Michaels."

"I, Devin Michaels,"

"Take you as my lawfully wedded husband."

"Take you as my lawfully wedded husband,"

"To have and to hold,"

"To have and to hold,"

"In sickness and in health."

"In sickness and in health,"

"As long as we both shall live."

"As long as we both shall live," He slid the cold band onto my hand, watching as the Justice turned to me.

"Christopher, repeat after me; I, Chris Derrick."

"I, Chris Derrick,"

"Take you, Devin Michaels, as my lawfully wedded husband."

"Take you, Devin Michaels, as my lawfully wedded husband,"

"To have and to hold."

"To have and to hold,"

"In sickness and in health."

"In sickness and in health,"

"As long as we both shall live."

"As long as we both shall live." I placed the ring on his finger, my grip on his hand tightening for a second.

"You may now kiss." The words were barely out before Devin's lips were on mine, both of us smiling into it as the few people attending the ceremony cheered.

~*~

I laid out on the bed, eyes wandering over the room. We were in Finland, and even with the heat on high, it was still cold as fuck in the cabin. Pacific winter storms couldn't hold a lit cigarette to this. I got up and pulled on my hoodie and then my leather jacket, but the chill still bit into me like the fabric was nothing.

"I'm back! You would not believe how hard it was to get through the snow on the road!" I walked out to the main area of the cabin, seeing Devin sitting a large amount of shopping bags on the ground, snow decorating his hair. I nodded, busying myself by putting away some of the things like food, drinks, and such, looking outside as the snow piled up.

"I guess December wasn't a very smart time for the honeymoon..."

"You don't say!" My good-natured sarcasm got him to laugh, and I picked up the firewood he'd bought and made quick work of getting the fireplace lit up, the warm glow dancing over the dark room. After dinner was done, I banked the embers and followed my husband into the bedroom, laying down and holding him close to me.

"I love you, Devin."

"I love you, too, Chris." His lips were soft on mine, and I laid my head against his chest, feeling content and whole, like everything had fallen into place.

Five years down the road

The rain was pouring down as we left the airport, giving everything a wet glimmer as the lights of the city burned on. I held Ville close to me, the little bundle of blankets veiling him from the chill slightly damp. It'd taken the best of the past three years, but we had finally been able to adopt the little Finn and bring him home to the States with us. We climbed into the car once we found it, the three of us slightly wet and cold. I turned on the heater and handed Vile to Devin, watching as he smiled down at the nine-month old who had a grip on his tattooed fingers. Driving down the, surprisingly, quiet Seattle streets, I remembered that night in the park in Bellevue, when Devin and I had made those promises to each other, and thought about how far we'd came; from a suicidal teen and his bipolar boyfriend to being married and now starting a family, all because of a couple of promises made under the lights of our hometown.

~*~

I smiled as we walked down the street, fingers laced. My mom had Vile, to give us the night off, and it had been perfect so far.

"Stop for a second." I looked at Devin, a silent question in my eyes as he stepped closer to me. He wrapped his arms around me and stretched up a bit, standing on his toes as he kissed me.

"I love you."

There's so much beauty when your eyes lay lost in all the city lights...