When I Looked at Her, I Thought of Only You.

Vic's POV**

I've spent the past week playing my part for Taylor and sticking to Mikey's plan, it was hard of course but I had to do it, if I wanted to see everyone I cared about in the clear.

"Tell me, why I'm doing this again Tay? I could just dump your ass. No-one would believe anything you said anyway." I asked, sounding seriously pissed.

"I've told you before, silly. I can literally ruin your life and everyone you love. If you don't keep this.." She moved her arms about my bedroom in a sweeping motion. "Up, then you, your brother and your father will pay. As I've said before I can destroy everything you care about. I'll tell everyone that you and your brother are both batting for the same team and I'll lie and tell everyone that your father forced himself onto me. Everyone would believe it, you know it's true. Plus this, us its for the best. Believe me when I say I've got your best interests at heart, baby." She said, as if she had explained this a million times before.

I sighed again, nodding and then I kissed her. It was a passionate kiss, the kind of kiss you would tell your children and grand children about.

Once Taylor had left I headed straight for Mike's room, he would know what to do.

After all, we have Taylor pretty much confessing her plans, hopefully soon things would be back to normal.

I sighed a happy sigh of relief, knowing all of this was finally over.

~~

Kellin's POV**

Victor, Michael and Tony have been avoiding me for the past two weeks, the only person that's spoke to me in that time is Taylor, as much as I hate her I can see she loves Vic a lot, and that's a hard thing to get my head around, maybe I should just let them be happy and move on with my own life.

I was feeling pretty down and I even considered going to see Mr Fuentes, but then I decided it would be a terrible idea and carried on with my day, as normally as I could. I hated feeling so empty.

It was time for class, just before lunch on a Monday which meant I had to and see my therapist, I was excused from my class and I suddenly felt so relieved.

"Hello, Kellin. How are you feeling today?" Mr Greene asked.

"Yeah, I'm good." I lied, I know I was supposed to tell him everything , but some things just weren't easy to explain.

We sat for the remaining hour discussing my progress and apparently he thinks I'm well on my way to recovery. He had also asked if I had relapsed, I hadn't of course. The thought of hurting myself again just made me feel sick. I never wanted to go through that again.

My session was over and before I knew it, it was lunch time. I wasn't feeling hungry and I still hasn't stepped foot inside the cafeteria since my very first day here. Hm, funny how some things don't change.

So I decided to play it safe and headed for the music corridor.

I wanted to add some music to my song I had wrote a few days ago.

"Could you check my pulse for me to see if I'm alive.
Cause every time that I am near you, is the only time I feel alright.
If there were any way I could think to turn back time, I'd stay here with you.
Sometimes I sit and wonder, sometimes I feel like letting go.
All I know is, no-one should have to be alone.

I don't want to be alone.
I don't want to die alone.
I could fall apart here and now.
I don't want to die alone.

I want to be with you, you, you.
I only want to be with you, you, you."

My voice cracked as I came to the end, I really didn't want to be alone and as cliché as it sounds being around Vic did make me feel alive and loved. I needed him, I really did.

As I turned around to leave I thought I'd seen someone watching me, I checked and double checked and there was undoubtedly no-one in sight.

It's official I'm starting to lose my mind.

I endured the next two hours of classes and then I went straight home to hide up in my room, this was my usual routine. It always has been. The only thing that's changed now is my dad is so much nicer to me and I'm honestly so grateful for that, I don't think I could handle it if things where the way they used to be.

I was just lying on bed, face down, scribbling words into my notebook when I heard the front door go, I groaned.

I'm the only person in the house tonight and getting up seemed like such an effort, nevertheless I lazily got up off my bed and headed down the stairs and answered the door.

As soon as I had opened it, I closed it again.

I wasn't in the right frame of mind to be dealing with this just now.

I didn't bother opening the door again and headed back upstairs to the comfort of my room, there's no way in hell I could face Vic right now. He was the one that told me to stay away from him, yet here he was at my door.

Part of me wanted to run down the stairs and kiss him over and over again but the other part of me wanted to punch him in the face and scream at him.

Instead I opted for ignoring him for as long as possible, I didn't have the strength to even see him right now, so talking to him was definitely not going to happen.

~~~

My phone buzzed at around nine o'clock, I sighed knowing just who it would be. I decided I'd ignored him long enough and answered.

"Hello?" I asked in a bored tone.
"Hey.. Kellin can we talk?" Vic's lovely, calming voice came through the other end of the phone.
"I have nothing to say, but you can talk." I said, rather stubbornly.
"okay, I know I acted like a total dick the other week and I know you know I've been avoiding you but I don't want to anymore, you mean more to me than anyone.. Kellin, i-i..." He trailed off, not finishing the sentence.
"Yeah, you acted like a total dick. You might not want too, but have you even for a minute thought about what I fucking want? I bet you haven't" I sighed, getting angry.

"Kellin, I'm sorry. I didn't have a fucking choice. I really am sorry though." Vic said, sounding sad.

I brushed his tone off though, he has no right to make me feel like crap and then phone me and basically put the blame onto something else, he was the one that chose not to talk to me and push me away, it was all his fault. He just didn't want to take the blame.

"Look, I might be good enough for your ego, but if I'm not good enough for your reputation then forget it." I spoke confidently, unsure of where my new found confidence had come from.

"Kells, its not like that. It's just really complicated ..." Vic sighed again, sounding completely defeated.

"Whatever Vic." I spat back at him and hung up. I wanted to be with him more than anything in the world, but I would never be his dirty little secret.

Fuck that.