Whatsername

"No, I want to wear the princess crown!"

"It's my turn!"

"No, it isn't!"

"Yes, it is!"

"I'm wearing it, and you can't stop me!" I groaned as the annoying voices of Tre and someone else I didn't recognize argued from somewhere downstairs.

After coming to the conclusion that I wasn't going to be getting back to sleep anytime soon, I opened my eyes, finding my face smashed against Billie's bare chest. I just about shrieked in surprise but quickly chose not to; I didn't want to wake him up. I bit my lip as I carefully slid out of his arms and scooted to the opposite side of the bed, sighing in relief after seeing he was still asleep.

"But I want to wear it, Dad!" Tre and whoever was calling him "Dad" were getting closer. I could hear their footsteps coming up the stairs. "You are so mean!"

"What? Who the hell is that?" Billie mumbled, rubbing his face with his hand as he sat up. He glanced over and gave me a tired, and slightly confused smile. He looked exhausted, and I was to blame for him not getting any sleep. Me and my stupid screaming.

"I don't know, but whoever it is, they're calling him 'Dad'." I sighed as I heard Tre knocking on Billie's --or at least what I assumed to be Billie's-- door. Lucky Billie. Tre actually knocked on his door....

"Daddy, please let me wear the princess crown. It's my turn! You got to wear it in the car!"

"Frankito," Billie groaned.

"Hm?" I raised an eyebrow, confused.

"Fra--" Billie started to explain but was interrupted by Tre's girlish scream.

"Billie?! Where are you?!"

"Uh-oh...," Billie muttered, wide-eyed. He fell off the edge of the bed and landed on the floor with a loud thud, quickly rolling under it as Tre wrenched open the door.

"Where's Billie?!" Tre cried, a panicked expression etched on his face as he jumped onto the bed and landed on top of me. He grasped my shoulders and violently shook them as he babbled incoherently about Billie being abducted by aliens.

"D-dd-did you ch-check the ba-aa-ck y-yard?" I asked as he continued to shake me. After what I said registered in his brain, he stopped and ran out of the room, grabbing the little boy, who was staring wide-eyed from the doorway the entire time, and dragged him to the backyard.

"That was close," Billie sighed in relief, standing up and brushing his boxers off as he headed toward the door.

"Wait... why did that little boy have a pink crown on?"

"Do the words Tre's kid mean anything to you?"

"Oh, yeah, never mind...," I mumbled. Billie smiled and left the room, shaking his head as he closed the door. I sighed, throwing back my covers and standing up to get dressed.

"Oh, Billie! There you are! I thought we'd lost you!" I heard Tre screech from the hallway. "Why didn't you say you were in the bathroom?!"

I laughed, pulling my shirt over my head as I heard Billie trying to explain to Tre that he was trapped in the bathroom with a killer hair dryer. Tre would have to be insane to believe that. Good thing he was. "...yeah, and then I finally got it unplugged. It's a miracle I still have all my hair."

"Thank fuck it wasn't aliens!" replied a relieved Tre. I rolled my eyes and joined them in the hall. Tre grinned. "Hi, Kate! I found Billie! Sorry for almost killing you earlier."

"Oh, no problem. I actually enjoy being strangled first thing in the morning." I smiled sarcastically, and the little boy standing next to Tre winked at me. I raised my eyebrows and pointed to the pest. "By the way, who's that?"

"Frankito!" Tre grinned, pulling him into a hug and rubbing the top of his head. "Frankito Taquito, meet Kate. Kate, meet Frankito Taquito!"

I stared at Tre as he continued to grin and rolled my eyes. "Taquito?"

"He came up with it in the car this morning," Frankito explained, sporting a very Tre-like grin. "You're pretty...."

"Excuse me?" I asked, blinking in surprise.

"Like father, like son...," Billie muttered, shaking his head and rolling his eyes as he walked past us, heading towards the staircase.

"Oh, Billie! I almost forgot! I need you to watch Little Frank so I can pick Ramona up from the airport," Tre yelped, chasing Billie downstairs.

"And why can't you take him with you?" asked a curious Billie. Frankito and I followed them into the living room.

"You know I can't have both of them in the car at the same time," Tre gasped. "Their evil minds always end up tricking me into getting ice cream!" I glanced over at Frankito, who was currently smiling innocently at Billie, and shook my head.

"Oh, yeah... and I doubt that your obsession with the girl who works at Dairy Queen has anything to do with it," Billie said sarcastically. I giggled as Tre blushed.

"It's not an obsession. It's more along the lines of a-- friendly admiration. It takes a lot of self-control to work at an ice cream place and have an absolutely fabulous body like that," he mumbled, opening the front door. "Now, good-bye."

Thirty minutes later, Billie and I sat on the couch, watching Frankito run laps around the living room. Billie had tried stopping him, but it was no use. We had made the mistake of letting him out of our sight for the two minutes or so it took him to get into pantry and eat a couple handfuls of powdered energy drink mix. That kid had so much sugar in him, he would have been halfway to New York if Billie hadn't made him stay in the house.

"Ahhhh!" Frankito shrilled as he flailed his arms above his head.

Note to self: never leave unattended children near pantries.

Billie let out a frustrated sigh, sliding his arm around the back of the couch, resting it on my shoulder as he leaned in to kiss my cheek. I rolled my eyes, shrugging his arm off and gesturing with my head to the little boy, who was currently doing 30mph around the coffee table.

"Aw, come on. He won't tell anyone. He's too busy acting like a fucking roadrunner to notice anyway," he whined. I sighed and shook my head as he pouted.

"Roadrunner?" We turned our heads to look at Frankito. He had finally stopped running and was now scratching his head and looking at us, confused. "What's a roadrunner?"

"See, told you he was watching," I whispered, sticking my tongue out at Billie.

He quickly returned the gesture before turning back to Frankito and answering his question. "It's a... bird-thing that runs really fast and goes 'beep beep'. Haven't you ever watched Looney Tunes?" he asked, and Frankito shook his head. "Well, you're missing out on some really good cartoons, then." I snorted at the thought of Billie watching cartoons, and he scowled at me.

"Beep beep!"

"Oh no. Now look what you've done. He's going to be doing that the entire day. It was bad enough with him running, and now he's going to be adding sound effects.... Wow, this reminds me of Tre at Taco Bell, the other night..." I trailed off, watching a miniature version of Tre running about.

"Oops...." Billie shrugged helplessly, and I glared at him.

Frankito continued his laps around the coffee table for a couple more minutes, until he suddenly stopped and yelped, "Strawberry Shortcake!" He ran to the foyer, grabbing a backpack and rummaging through it. He returned a few seconds later, smiling as he carried a pink DVD case over to us. I raised my eyebrows, and he handed me the case, batting his eyelashes. "Can I watch this, please?"

"Isn't this for girls?" I asked, glancing at Billie with raised eyebrows after examining the movie. Billie nodded slowly and rolled his eyes. "Okay...."

Billie sighed. "If it'll shut you up and keep you still for a few minutes, then fine, go ahead," he groaned.

"Yay! Beep beep! I'll go put it in!" Frankito shouted, grabbing the case and scurrying over to the television.

As soon as the incredibly annoying theme song started to play, I knew I was going to hate that little redheaded, squeaky-voiced, strawberry-obsessed whore, Strawberry Shortcake. After a few minutes of trying to stuff the couch cushions in my ears and wanting to gouge my eyes out, I felt Billie tap my shoulder and turned my head to face him; he looked like he was contemplating suicide also. I pouted, and he smirked, leaning in once more.

"You know, you still haven't thanked me for protecting you last night," he whispered in my ear. I stifled a giggle, which turned into a very unattractive snort, as his lips brushed past my cheek.

"I didn't need protecting," I whispered back, mimicking his taunting tone of voice as I rolled my eyes.

"Sure," he teased, nothing but doubt in his voice. I grinned and pulled his face closer, closing the gap between our lips, but, of course, that didn't last long....

"No, Dad, no more knock knock jokes! Now, stop, please. I'm on the phone!" I heard the doorknob turn and quickly shoved Billie off of me.

"Oooh! Strawberry Shortcake! My favorite!" Tre squealed, bursting through the front door, an ice cream cone in his hand.

Sometimes, I really hate Tre Cool....