Dear xxx

I've been told that being nice is an option. This coming from someone who has given her life to others, who doesn't know the meaning of the word 'selfish'. She gives and gives with barely anything in return. She chooses to be nice.

I always put you first and I always think about how you would feel. Was it wrong for me to think you would do the same for me? Because you didn't and I realised then that no one did. No one does.

However, I am aware now of what is happening, of how I'm investing too much, of how I'm being used to such an extent with no reciprocation whatsoever. I realise the result of my actions and can now say with confidence and absolute certainty that I will never stop helping you. Ever.

I just can't do that to you and I don't know why. Maybe it's because, being on the other end, I know that sinking feeling all too well and I could never do that to you. I could never make you feel that way because I will always put your emotions over mine, your happiness over mine, your health over mine. I will give you whatever sanity I have left so you can recover. Let me hurt for you so you can heal.

Even though I'm just giving into an endless void, I will continue doing so. Don't worry.

I've been told that being nice is an option.

Maybe it's because I've built myself around you that I have no choice.