Learning to Live

At 6:30 that night, after dinner with my parents, I found myself in my room trying to decide which outfit to wear. It was then that I remembered that I hadn't talked to Kyla since we moved. The occasional text was received, but for some reason I didn't find mysel punching the reply button on my phone. I had reached for my phone and was dialing numbers before I could do otherwise.

"Rachel!" Kyla picked up her phone happily.

"Hey, Ky," I responded.

I was happy she wasn't angry, but I was even more happy just to hear her voice. It was comforting. Plus, it seemed to calm the butterflies that had started to form in my stomach.

"How are you? How's the new house? Have you made any friends? Are your parents doing okay?"

I laughed at the amount of questions she was slinging at me, but I answered them all and explained my predicament. I was crushing on the boy next door that I hardly knew, and now I was stuck not knowing what outfit to wear so that I could attempt impressing him.

"Don't worry, you know I'm amazing at this stuff," She said with a small laugh, but I knew she was only slightly kidding, "I want you to wear those American Eagle jeans that make your butt look so great."

I was already in front of my closet following her orders, pulling the articles of clothing from their hangers and out of my drawers.

"The red and white striped shirt with the scoop neck and cute little sleeves, and your black Converse."

"Here, let me put you on speakerphone while I change. Tell me about what's new there," I told her and pressed a button on my new phone so her voice projected loudly from the small speaker.

I listened closely as she rambled on about who had started dating, who "completely ruined their social status", and who had made Varsity in volleyball.

"Kyla, how did you know this outfit would look so good?" I asked once I had pulled the clothes on and had evaluated myself in the mirror.

"I'm not sure. I think I have a career in it though," She contemplated.

I laughed and walked to my vanity to brush on some light makeup, bringing my phone with me while I sat in front of the mirror.

"Hey Rach?" Kyla asked.

"Hmmm?" I mumbled, spreading eyeliner along my top water line.

"Do you think we could ever come visit you out there? My mom and I? I really do miss you..." She trailed off.

I set the eyeliner down and picked my phone up, turning it off speakerphone and bringing it up to my ear, "Of course, Kyla. Just tell me when a good time would be for you guys and I'll talk it over with my parents. I miss you tons!"

I blinked away any tears that had begun to form in my eyes so that I wouldn't ruin the eye makeup that I had just applied.

"I'll let you get back to getting ready though. Make sure you text me when you get home. I want to hear ALL about it!"

"Of course I will. You'll be the first to know all the details," I smiled.

"Honey, I'm the only person you have to tell all the details to!"

"You're right," I laughed.

Kyla had always been blunt, but it was a trait I had grown to love.

"Oh, and one more thing," She told me quickly, "Don't go right at 7. Go at, like, 7:05 or 7:10."

"Will do," I promised.

She knew all too well that I was extremely punctual and hated being late. Kyla was very into being "fashionably late".

"Well, I love you, Rach. I hope you have an amazing time."

"I love you, too, Ky. I'll call you as soon as I leave."

We finished our goodbye's and I hung up my phone and pushed it into the pocket of the jeans that made my "butt look good". I hoped that the night would be more than amazing. I turned on Say Anything and let "Baby Girl, I'm a Blur" drown out any thoughts that it would turn out differently.

I watched out my window as a car pulled up and a few boys my age climbed out after parked. It was 7:10 when the second car pulled up, dropping another couple teenagers off before pulling away. I decided it would be a good time to walk over, despite all my nerves trying to convince me to stay in my room for the night. I grabbed my black American Apparel hoodie before walking down the stairs.

"Alright, Rachel, here's the deal," My father stopped me before I could make it out of the house, "You have to be home before 2. There will be no drinking, no drugs, and no flirting with boys."

"I'll have to agree with the first two, and disagree with the third one," My mother put in her opinion.

I didn't argue with the suddenly leniant curfew my father had decided to bestow upon me, because back in Washington, midnight had been stretching it.

"Well, fine. I just don't want to hear about it if it happens," He waved the thought away and kissed me on the top of the head.

"Have fun, honey," My mom hugged me and watched me walk out of the house.

My feet disobeyed my mind and made the short walk to Shawn's house. His porch and front door were similar to ours, something that suburbia ruled over. I rang the doorbell and waited with my hands in my back pockets until I heard laughter from inside and the door was opened.

"Hey, Rachel," Shawn smiled when he saw it was me, "Come on in."

I stepped into the airconditioned house as he closed the door behind me and motioned for me to follow him into what I assumed was the living room. He had a Coke in his hand and his black pants hung loosely from his hips. His torso was clad in a red zipup hoodie and a plain white t-shirt. I followed him to where everyone else was lounging around and joking with each other.

I felt awkward when all their eyes fell on me, the outsider, but Shawn quickly made the feeling go away when he introduced me to his friends, "This is Rachel."

I got various waves, nods, and hey's.

Shawn pointed to each person and said names, while I tried to keep up.

Derek was a red haired kid wearing a Yankees baseball cap backwards, whose arm was slung loosely around a girl I came to know as Brandie. She had glasses, shoulder length black hair, and smiled warmly when Shawn introduced her.

Next was Cameron who had blaringly blue eyes, blonde hair, and braces. Garrett had brown hair and a nice smile, and he was wearing a black polo shirt with jeans. Bryan, Tyler, and Joey were completely immersed in a game of Grand Theft Auto on the wide screen TV and only raised their hands quickly in acknowledgement when Shawn said their names. Bryan had medium length, tousled black hair and a plain dark green t-shirt on. Tyler's hair was shaggy blonde and he was wearing a basketball hoodie on that had his last name, "Baker", written above the number. Joey's brown hair was the same length as Bryan's, and his skin was darkly tanned. Last was Hayden, who was clearly a stereotypical skateboarder with his DC shirt, tight jeans, and shaggy brown hair.

"Do you want something to drink?" Shawn offered.

"Sure," I smiled.

"Follow me, then," He turned around and walked a short distance into the kitchen, "We have Coke, Sprite, and bottled water."

"I'll have a Coke, I guess," I responded and looked around the spacious kitchen.

"A girl who knows her way to my heart," He smiled, setting down his Coke can before opening the fridge and pulling out one for me.

"My family strongly believes that Coke wins the soda battle, hands down."

"Mine, too. I think it would be sinful if anyone ever brought Pepsi in here."

We laughed and locked eyes after he had handed me the cold Coca-Cola. The doorbell rang and one of Shawn's friends announced that he'd get it.

"So do you all do this often?" I asked.

"Well, as often as we can," He shrugged, taking a drink of the soda, "We've all been friends since kindergarten, but we're all into a bunch of different things now, but I'm really determined to keep us all together."

"I know how that is," I nodded, "I drifted apart from some friends when I started high school."

My mind wandered to Ben and Ricky, but I refused to let either of them ruin my night, and I pushed their faces to the back of my thoughts.

"It must be pretty hard moving away from your friends. I bet that's caused it even more."

"Yeah, it has... But I'm going to try to keep in touch with my best friend, Kyla. We've been through a lot together, so I don't think even all the distance can tear us apart."

"That's one strong friendship," He commented.

"We're gonna try to keep it that way," I chuckled.

"Are you adjusting okay to-"

Shawn's question was cut off by a girl my height walking loudly into the kitchen.

"Shawwwwwn," She called.

"Hey, Karen," He seemed to force a smile when she entered the room.

"Sorry I'm late, I just had a bunch of stuff I was doing," She flung her arms around his neck in a tight hug.

Shawn pulled out of the hug almost as soon as he was in it and turned to me.

"Karen, this is Rachel. Rachel, this is Karen," Shawn looked back and forth.

Karen was dressed in a v-neck shirt that showed just enough cleavage, a short denim miniskirt, and black flip flops. Her almond eyes were brown, and her black hair was pulled back into a perfectly messy ponytail.

She greeted me flatly and without much enthusiasm before turning back to Shawn.

"Let's start the movie, Shawn," She grabbed his hand and pulled him back toward the living room.

Shawn turned back to me while being led to the living room and told me, "I'll save you a spot."

I smiled weakly and nodded, not really knowing how to interpret the fact that it seemed like he had a girlfriend.

"Don't worry, they're not dating," Brandie walked into the kitchen with an empty glass and answered the questions in my head.

"Oh, well..." I didn't exactly know what to say.

"It's okay," She laughed lightly, "Karen's pretty harmless. She's always had a thing for Shawn, but he's never really given into her games except for briefly for, like, a month last year."

Brandie grabbed a Sprite from the fridge and got ice from the machine on the front of the freezer.

"I know she seems pretty threatening," She continued, pouring the soda into the glass over the ice cubes, "but she really isn't."

"That's reassuring," I told her, "Thanks."

"Of course," She nodded with a smile, "Shawn's never brought someone we haven't known for forever to a movie night. He's pretty steadfast about how these nights should be about all of us staying together, so other people usually aren't welcome. It seems like you're special."

"Special?" I raised my eyebrows, honestly intrigued.

"I don't want to get myself in trouble by saying too much," She laughed, but went on, "He's usually really focused on sports, because his Dad played college ball until he got injured or something. And his mom always pushes him really hard in school, so he's on honor roll and all this stuff. Girls are just usually his last priority."

"So... You think he likes me?"

I didn't even bother dipping my toe into the water to see what temperature the water was, I just decided to blindly dive in.

Brandie laughed, "All my signs point to yes."

I blushed and we walked into the living room together. Karen was snuggled up next to Shawn on the couch, but both of his hands were in his lap and not around her shoulders or holding her hands. I thought that was a good sign. Plus, there was an empty spot on the couch next to him.

"Rachel," He nodded to the empty spot on the couch next to him and I smiled as I walked over and sat down.

"Dude, I don't understand your DVD player at all," Bryan held a DVD in one hand and was trying to figure out which button to push with the other.

Shawn rolled his eyes, but pushed himself up from the couch with a laugh.

"Where did you say you were from?" Karen asked, looking me over again.

"Uh, I didn't say..." I trailed off.

I knew that I would be asked this at some point. I knew I would have to discuss it at some time. I had just hoped it wouldn't be so soon.

"So where are you from?" She asked, not hiding the slight edge in her voice.

"I'm from, um, Washington," I nodded and turned to Brandie.

"What grade are you going into?" Brandie asked so I didn't have to deal with Karen's questions.

"I'll be a sophomore, actually," I smiled.

"Awesome, we're all going to be sophomores, too."

Shawn had gotten the movie to work and had turned off the lights. He sat back on the couch between Karen and I with the remote to the DVD player in his hand. I tried not to think too much about the fact that he sat closer to me this time than when he had gotten up. Karen glared in our direction.

"I thought we agreed last time that we wouldn't watch this movie," Brandie whined, glaring at Derek and the rest of the guys.

The menu for "The Hills Have Eyes" had popped up on the TV.

"Oh, you'll be fine. Your boyfriend is right there," Joey attempted to silence Brandie's complaints.

Shawn turned to me, "Have you ever seen this movie before?"

Brandie and Joey continued their bickering with Derek laughing in the background.

"Actually, I haven't. My friends tried to get me to watch it in theaters, but I somehow got out of it every time," I chuckled.

"Press play," Tyler ordered.

Shawn obliged, but tossed the remote at him after doing so. I laughed and Shawn glanced over at me with a smile.

We were halfway through the movie and even the smallest things were making me jump. Shawn smiled and laughed every time I did so, but not in a mean way. Karen had been clinging to his bicep ever since the opening credits had started, and I had supressed the urge to roll my eyes.

When the movie actually started getting scary, I found myself subconsciously moving closer to Shawn. He smelled like cologne, deodorant, and lightly of laundry detergent. I have no idea how it ended up happening, but Shawn's hand found mine and our fingers laced together. I glanced over to see his face, but his eyes were fixed on the screen and a slight smile was playing on his lips. My stomach was filled with butterflies like it never had been before.

I didn't notice at the time, but Brandie told me that for the rest of the movie Karen was sending hard glares my way. I couldn't focus on the movie anymore, only on the fact that holding hands with Shawn felt incredibly comfortable. The last boyfriend I had was at the beginning of freshman year, but he had been a sloppy kisser and his hands were always clammy.

Once the movie finally ended, we all found our way into their family game room. There was a foosball table, a pool table, and various musical instruments.

"Are those all yours?" I looked at the instruments and then looked up at Shawn.

"Just the acoustic guitar. The drums and the electric guitars are all my older brother's."

Joey and Derek were setting up the pool table to "battle" it out. Apparently this was an ongoing war between the two of them.

"I really don't see why you keep trying to beat me, Derek. You lose every single time," Joey talked a big game.

"Do you know how to play?" Shawn walked over to the acoustic and picked it up.

"Just a little bit," I shrugged.

"Want to learn some?" He offered.

"Sure," I smiled.

"We can go to my room," He told me, "It's quieter in there."

I accepted and followed him into the room right next to the game room. It was pretty clean for a teenage boy, and the walls were plastered with various sports and band posters. His bed was king sized and we each sat on one side cross legged.

"Alright, so show me what you know," He passed me the guitar and I rested it on my knees.

I played the chorus of one of my favorite songs, Remembering Sunday, and then looked up to see what his expression was.

"All Time Low, right?"

"I'm impressed that you know that," I laughed and handed the guitar back to him.

"Hey, don't underestimate me!" He joked, "Besides, I didn't know that kicking my ass at guitar counted as knowing 'just a little bit'."

"I'm not that good," I laughed.

"You're pretty good," He smiled, strumming a few chords quietly.

"Thanks," I said before I sat silently listening to him play.

He stopped playing and pushed his hair from his face, looking up at me.

"Are you having a good time?" He asked sincerely.

"I'm having an awesome time," I nodded.

"Good. That's good," He smiled.

"Thanks for inviting me."

"Of course," He nodded and played with the yellow pick in his hand.

There was a light knock on the door frame and we looked up to see Tyler standing at the open door.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt," He said.

"Nah, it's all good, man," Shawn told him.

"I just had to tell you that I have to go. Coach Sanders is completely hammering us with practice and I'm wiped out. I'll text you tomorrow or something," He told Shawn.

"Alright, dude, sounds good," Shawn nodded.

"It was nice to meet you, Rachel," Tyler turned his attention to me.

"Yeah, you, too," I smiled.

"Alright, peace," He raised his hand in a wave and left.

I heard the front door shut and I turned my attention to Shawn.

"You know what I just realized?"

"What?" I asked.

"I definitely don't have your number," He placed the guitar on the bed and dug his hand into his pocket to retrieve his cell phone.

He handed me his Sidekick LX. It only took me a few seconds to get completely confused.

"I have no idea how to work this thing," I laughed.

"Here, I'll help you," He smiled and moved so he was sitting next to me on the bed.

He quickly programmed my number into his address book, and I pulled mine out so he could put his number into mine.

"Mine is a bit less confusing," I teased him.

"Oh really? Well I'm glad," He laughed.

He handed the phone back to me once his number was saved.

"You're a cool chick, Rach," He smiled and flipped the hair out of his eyes.

"Well, you're a really cool guy, Shawn," I blushed deeply and turned to look at him.

He turned his head to look at me and I looked into his eyes. For some reason whenever I did that, it was hard to look away.

"Hey, Brandie and I are leaving, Shawn," Derek called.

"We better go say bye," Shawn got up reluctantly.

I followed him and found everyone near the front door. Brandie and I exchanged phone numbers and she told me that she'd give me a call to hang out sometime in the next couple of days. The rest of us quickly exchanged numbers before everyone had exited the house except for Karen. I had almost forgotten that she had been there.

"I'll see you later, Shawn," She told him.

But what Karen did next made me uncomfortable to no end. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed Shawn. I looked away, embarassed, but Shawn was quick to push her away.

"Karen, what the hell?" Shawn didn't censor himself.

"What!?" She asked, annoyed.

"What do you mean, 'what'? We're not dating!"

I felt itchy and ready to run, but Shawn's reaction nailed me to where I was. Karen got angry quickly and stormed out of the house. I stood there silently before he turned to me.

"Look, I'm really sorry about that..."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I don't even know," He laughed.

"You seriously have nothing to apologize about," I smiled.

"Do you have to leave right away? It's only eleven. Do you want to stick around for a little while?" He asked.

"Yeah, I think that would be fun," I nodded.