You're My Way Home, You're My Backbone.

It was getting dark outside the window but Brendon could still make out blurry shapes of tree tops, just poking up over the window seel. At least that’s what Brendon thought he was seeing. The operation was that morning but he was still groggy from all the meds, spending most of the afternoon more asleep than awake.

The lights in the room were dull, adding to the heaviness on his eyelids. It felt like it should be easy to shut his eyes and fall asleep, but every time he did someone would walk past, the nurse would pop in, the kitchen ladies would come in or Brendon thought someone else was about to walk into his room.

The noise echoing down the hallway didn’t help much either, even with the door closed. A TV five rooms down could be heard clear as a bell, same as the complaints about it too.

Brendon groaned and wrapped the pillow around his head. He started humming the first song he could think of, just loud enough for himself to hear. For being in hospital it was kind of scary being alone. And boring.

Brendon managed to hum three songs, start to finish, when loud footsteps stopped in front of his room. Going silent he watched the door, letting the pillow fall away from his ears. There were a couple of blurry shadows reflecting on the glass as the handle rattled. Brendon expected it to be a nurse but quickly realised that none of the nurses he has seen so far were that tall.

Zack and Dallon stepped into the dull lightening and a huge smiled spread across Brendon’s face.

“Hey, Bren,” Zach greeted approaching the bed. “How are you doing?”

Dallon smiled and walked around the side of the bed, leaning down for a hug, carefully avoiding touching anything he shouldn’t. Brendon hugged back a little weakly.

“I’m doing good, just tired.”

“You look tired.” Dallon softly pointed out, sitting in one of the bedside chairs.

It was Zach’s turn for a hug. As he pulled away he tried to discreetly scan Brendon over. Brendon smiled and nudged his shoulder snapping him out of his bodyguard you-don’t-look-fine-until-I-say –so scan. It’s always humbling that even when they are not to tour Zach always looked out for them, making sure they were safe. The bands very own superman, in a way.

“How did the op go?” Zach asked curious pulling up a chair.

Brendon took a breath hesitating as he lean back into the mattress when two pair of eyes all but drilled into him. He showed a small smile and started to repeat everything the doctor had said. He was halfway through when Dallon suddenly sat up straighter in his seat and grabbed the bag that was down by his feet, and put it on the bed.

“We got this for you. To keep you entertained when no one’s visiting.” He smiled proudly.

Brendon raised an eyebrow in question and slowly opened the bag. Fishing inside he started pulling out book of his favourite puzzles, his favourite novel he had lost four tours ago, a Disney colouring-in book with mini pencils that made Brendon laugh and a huge bag of gummy bears.

“Thanks guys.” Brendon grinned, going straight for the colouring-in book and flicking through it.

“You’re welcome,” Zach smiled. “I expect a fully coloured picture by the end of the week to hang on my fridge.”

Brendon laughed and spotted a princess picture that would look awesome on Zach’s fridge. It was the little things that always reminded him how awesome his friends are.

*

“You two are both cheating, admit it.” Brendon grumbled as he shoved a spoon full of jelly into his mouth.

A bit of jelly almost fell onto his chin as Spencer grunted without looking up from the playing cards in his hands. Ryan said nothing, waiting for Brendon to make his move with sharp eyes. Brendon sighed and picked up a card from the pickup pile.

Ryan smirked and slapped down an ace on the playing pile before Brendon even had the chance to see what his new card was.

“Diamonds.”

Brendon almost threw his cards down onto the hospital table when he saw that he didn’t have any in that suit. They have been playing ‘Pickup Two’ for a long time now and this match alone has been going for three reshuffles. Brendon was yet to get anywhere in this round, just hanging on by the tips of his fingers and has picked up three times as many cards then what he started with. It was starting to annoy him, as much as what was on TV to cause this game of cards to begin in the first place.

Spencer simply placed down a diamond card trying not to smile at Brendon’s reaction. He tried to look at Jon for help but all he got was a light snore and fluttering eyelids in response.

“This is stupid.” Brendon scoffed, picking up another card.

“You’re stupid.” Ryan shot back automatically. “It was your idea to play cards.” He added.

“Yeah, as in Go Fish.”

“This is better.” Spencer shrugged. “You didn’t shuffle the cards properly, that’s why you’re getting all the crap ones.”

Ryan placed down a two and grinned wickedly at Brendon, without missing a beat Spencer threw down another two. When Brendon noticed he had no twos but everything but, he threw all the cards down he had in his lap.

“You’re fucking pulling aces and twos out of your arse!” Brendon whispered shouted so he wouldn’t disturb Jon, flailing his arms around.

Spencer snickered and quickly went back to silently picking at his cards when Brendon turned to glare at him. Ryan’s eyes shone brightly in amusement.

“That was the last ace and two. There is none left so just finish the round. We’ll play Snap when Jon wakes up.” Spencer offered.

“Fine, as long as we play snap properly this time. The nurse won’t like it if she comes back and there are cards everywhere again because of yours.”

Ryan and Spencer snickered quietly ad Brendon picked up his handful, plus four new cards off the pile. He could hardly hold them all in one hand and be able to see what every card was. His hand was more hearts and spades than anything else. Brendon frowned realising that maybe he really didn’t shuffle the care well after all.

It took another ten minutes before someone –Ryan- called Last Card. Looking smug he watched Brendon place a card down and Spencer pick on up, to place his last card down, throwing his arms up in the air in silent victory. Brendon dropped his cards on the table and crossed his arms over his chest dramatically.

“I still think you were pulling cards out of your ass.”

“I don’t see how,” Spencer said leaning away from Ryan.” His ass isn’t big enough to hold a pack of cards-“

Ryan slapped him upside the head from his corner of the bed and half heartily glared. Brendon laughed and quickly slapped a hand over his mouth to keep quiet, eyes darting to Jon. Jon hardly stirred making a small snoring noise.

“That was close.” Spencer said gathering up all the cards sitting on the hospital table.

Brendon let his hand drop from his face, he felt bad that he was the one sitting in a bed when Jon was napping in a rock hard chair with his head tilting in a way that really should not be good for his neck. He did offer, but Jon said no, curled up in the seat and closed his eyes. The bed was pretty full with him, Ryan and Spencer sitting on it to be able to reach the table hovering over Brendon’s legs but he was sure they could get Jon to fit if they tried.

Spencer started shuffling through the pack as Ryan took a not so sneaky bite of the jelly sitting on the edge of the table. Brendon watched amuse as Ryan figured out why he hadn’t finished it yet; it was like eating rubber. Ryan placed the spoon back on the table screwing up his face.

Shifting closer to the table Spencer dealt out the cards, seven per person and placed a starting card on the middle of the table before dumping the rest of the pack next to it. All three of them picked up their hands and was sorting them out as the door creaked open.

“Knock, knock.” Dr Carol called poking her head around the doorframe.

She smiled at everyone –but Jon- as she looked around and entered the room. She noticed Jon asleep in the chair when she got to the end of the bed, so she headed around the opposite side.

“Good morning.” She greeted cheerfully.

“Morning,” Brendon replied as Spencer and Ryan said something similar.

“How are you feeling today? How’s the pain been?”

“When I woke up this morning it was pretty painful, but after some painkillers it’s been fine as long as I don’t move much.”

Dr Carol nodded as she reached over and picked up Brendon’s medical file from its holder, flipping it open.

“Your leg may be like that for a few days. It’s normal. There might be some pain when you start fully using it again but as it heals that will dissipate.” She said glancing at the nurse’s last entry. “One of the physios will see you tomorrow about getting your leg back to normal, doing exercises and so forth. They’ll be able to explain all that a lot more than what I could. The aim will be to get you back on your feet without supports as soon as possible.”

Brendon nodded placing his hand of cards face down on the table. Before there had been many questions he wanted to ask, most of them small things, but now that the doctor was in the room he couldn’t think of them.

“I’m going to take a look at your leg, if that’s alright.”

“Sure.”

Ryan moved away from the bed and Spencer pushed the table out of the way to where Jon was sitting, before moving off the bed himself. Gently Dr Carol lifted up the light blanket away from Brendon’s leg, and pulled up the loose fitting trackies he’s wearing to his thigh.

This was the first time Brendon has seen his leg since the operation twenty four hours ago. In a way it was exciting to see, the lump gone, but at the same time it was a little scary. How does his leg look? How big was the cut? How many stitches does he have? The amount of stitches had been something he was curious about, though not enough to ask.

A bandage covered most of his knee and half way down his shin. He watches as it was being unravelled holding his leg up high enough to make it easier for Dr Carol. When the bandage was finally pulled away, a long strip of gauze was coving the whole area below his knee held on by medical tape.

Dr Carol carefully pulled one side of the tape off causing Brendon to wince a few times. He looked away as she lifted it and saw Ryan and Spencer looking on fascinated. Taking a breath he slowly lowered his eyes back down.

It didn’t look...too bad.

It was a longer cut then Brendon expected, but being that the tumour was bigger than first thought it wasn’t surprising. The area looked like it was already starting to heal slightly with around twenty or so stiches. Dr Carol took a close, long look before carefully putting the gauze back.

“It look good, no sign of infection and the stitches are still in place.” She smiled folding up the bandage roughly. “One of the nurses will be by soon to replace the gauze and to check the stitches again. She might get you standing as well to get more circulation going.”

She started wrapping up Brendon’s leg again taking her time to be gentle. He thought it would have hurt more than it did with her touching the area, the pain was mostly a dull ache on the edge of uncomfortable, it wasn’t bad enough to complain.

“Well, good morning sleeping beauty.” Spencer drawled gaining everyone’s attention.

Jon grunted at Spencer with eyes half open. He reached up to rub his eyes and stretch his back out, neck cracking loudly as he did causing everyone in the room to wince at the sound. Ryan was sure half of the ward could hear it, it was that loud.

“Ah, that hurt.” Jon groaned cupping his neck like he was holding his head in place. “Never, ever sleep in hospital chairs. Ever.”

“Could’ve told you that,” Ryan shrugged walking around the bed to him.

“We could have made room on the bed.” Brendon offered.

Jon shot Brendon a small smile but didn’t say anything while Ryan placed his hands over the back of his neck and moved his head side to side slowly, making it crack again. Brendon hissed as Dr Carol pressed down on his leg a bit to place the pin on the bandage.

“Sorry.” She said fixing his pants leg back into place.

She pulled the blanket back over his leg and smiled at the room.

“I’ll pop back in later this afternoon to check on you again. Do you need anything for the pain right now?”

“I think I’ll be ok for a while, thanks.” Brendon smiled.

Dr Carol picked up Brendon’s medical notes from where she left them and put them back in the holder at the end of the bed. Walking away from the bed she looked at Jon, who was trying to pull away from Ryan’s hands. Spencer rolled his eyes and grabbed Ryan’s arm pulling him out of the way and stood behind Jon. He put his hand on Jon’s shoulder and gently digs his thumbs into the sore areas.

“I’ll see you guys later.” Dr Carol chuckled amused walking out of the door.

There was a chorus of mumbled and cheerful goodbyes that followed her out of the room. A small groan followed after from Jon. Brendon laughed at Ryan’s dramatically flop onto the edge of the bed, arms folded like a kid that just got told off. Ryan was never good at neck messages and everyone in the room knew that well.

Brendon reaches over and pulls the table back closer to the bedside. He picked up the cards from the abandoned game stacking them back into a pile.

“So what did the doc say?” Jon asked when Spencer got into a good rhythm.

“They have to cut my leg off.” Brendon said serious as he could and Jon snapped his head up, eyes wide.

Ryan ruined it by snorting holding back a laugh.

“Joking, she said it looks good, starting to heal well.”

“You’re going to have an awesome war scar,” Spencer grinned. “Another thing for all those teeny boppers to drool about.”

Brendon beamed happily and winked at Spencer.

“War scars and a great ass, what else could a guy want?”

Spencer bit his lip to hide and smile. Ryan and Jon started laughing. Brendon grinned sorting the stack of cards out for a game of Snap.

*

“Hey, are you going to see Zack anytime soon?” Brendon asked before Spencer left the room.
Spencer poked his head back around the door.

“I’ve got to stop around his place tomorrow morning to drop some DVDs off, why?”

Brendon reached over to the bag Dallon had given him and pulled out a couple folded of pieces of paper. He held it out for Spencer to take.

“Can you give these to him for me?”

Spencer took the coloured in drawing with a raised eyebrow. Brendon grinned and watched as Spencer unfolded the pages, looking over them carefully before bursting out laughing.

“Oh, he better display this on his fridge!” Spencer gasped between laughing fits.

Brendon snickered through an all knowing smile.