You're My Way Home, You're My Backbone.

The guys made Brendon close his eyes after about twenty minutes of driving. Naturally he tried to sneak peeks out the side window since asking questions got him nowhere clue wise, but Ryan caught on to what Brendon was doing quickly and moved from where he was sitting behind the driver’s seat to behind the passengers, and covered Brendon’s face with his hands.

Brendon huffed and crossed his arms going for dramatic. Both Spencer and Ryan laughed.

“Totally not fair. I’m going to find out anyway so why cover my eyes?” Brendon asked flailing his hands around. “There’s no point.”

Brendon tried ducking out of Ryan’s reach. It didn’t work.

“Because it will be more of a surprise this way,” Spencer explained cheerfully. “Don’t worry you’ll like it.”

Brendon sighed loudly, and then smirked.

“Are we there yet?”

“Fuck, please don’t start that.” Ryan groaned.

“How about now?”

Ryan pinched his nose making Brendon squawk and swat at Ryan’s hands as he tried to get away. From there it turned into the weirdest fight he’s ever had and really, that was saying something because the number one on the list was cake wrestling with Jon. To this day Pete still threatens to put the photo on that on the internet from time to time.

Brendon had finally resorted to trying to bite Ryan’s hand when the car stopped suddenly. Ryan ripped his hands away and Brendon turned around in his seat grinning triumphantly.

“Ha!” Brendon crowded. “I win!”

“You tried to bite me!” Ryan exclaimed.

“You were trying to stab me in the eyes with your nails.”

“Was not.”

“Were t-“

“We are here.” Spencer yelled loud enough to make the two of them flinch. “This is meant to be a relaxing day. If you two want to act like five year olds I have no problem starting the car and driving back home. Don’t think I won’t.”

Ryan muttered a ‘yes, dad’ under his breath that Spencer decided to ignore. Brendon looked at Spencer apologetically and turned back around, pausing that the view through the windscreen.

They were at the beach, not just anyone along the coast but Brendon’s favourite stretch, the one he found by accident when he first moved out of Nevada and spent the next three months trying to find again. It is also his favourite surfing spot.

Brendon hasn’t been there in months, since before the last tour.

“Surprise.” Spencer smiled before getting out of the car.

Brendon blinked and threw the door open. He was too busy looking down at the water to notice Ryan and Spencer grabbing the food bag and a picnic blanket from the boot.

“You were right, I like this surprise.” Brendon spoke lightly as Spencer walked up to his side. “Thank you.”

“No problem. To show you gratitude I’ll let you bury Ryan and turned him into a mermaid.” Spencer patted Brendon on the shoulder chuckling before he started down the windy path through the grass that led to the sand.

“Merman.” Ryan corrected, following. “I wouldn’t look good with seashell bras.”

Spencer almost missed a step. Brendon laughed.

*

As far as surprises went since being diagnosed the trip to the beach would have to be in Brendon’s top five. For something so simple and easy, just driving to the beach and hanging out with friends, it was extremely relaxing and a great distraction from all the stress and anxiety.

Brendon knew himself he desperately needed a day out, if not to de-stress then for his sanity. He wasn’t talking the wait for the test results well, though a lot better than a lot of things during the treatment. He was terrified out the outcome, as has been for months now, maybe even from the beginning.

He wondered if he got the all clear, then would he finally not be scared? Would the hollow feeling at the bottom of his stomach finally go away?

Brendon shook his head trying to shake off the thoughts; Spencer said this is a day to relax. So that is what he’s going to do, well, at least try to do. He focused on the sight in front of him.

The view of the beach hadn’t changed in all the months that have passed. The sand was still soft to the touch, that long path was the same with that annoying large hidden rock that Brendon almost tripped over every time he passed it, and the water still changed colours between blue and green everything few minutes. Even the high tide line revealed the beautiful shells Brendon was forever collecting, adding to the display in his bathroom that had been slowly taking up the window space.

It was like nothing has changed here while so many things have away from it. Brendon found it nice that something was familiar, constant. There weren’t many things in Brendon’s life that was like that, so every time he found one he kept it close.

Like right now, watching Spencer and Ryan playing beach soccer and squabbling like a couple of old chooks when one got a goal and the other disagreed. It was just so them, something they do all the time but Brendon always watched with amusement, never getting bored of it. Most of the time he would be more involved, egging it on, but playing soccer was a bit too much for him fitness wise.
Just burying Ryan earlier wore him out hence why he was lounging on the picnic blanket spectating.

If that was one thing Brendon couldn’t wait to have back, was his strength and energy. But for now he was content with what he has to work with. He had to be.

*

The soccer match continued after lunch and only got rougher. It went from light pushing, to hard shoves, to deliberately trying to trip each other over. At one point Brendon started filming and sent videos to Jon, who sent back a video of himself laughing and then sent Brendon a map to the closest hospital. Brendon didn’t think it would come to that but when Ryan landed face first into the sand, he figured it was good information to have just in case.

Ryan pushed himself onto his knees and carefully wiped his face as he spat out sand from his mouth. Brendon picked up the empty sandwich container that was besides him and tossed it to Spencer. Spencer quickly ran down to the water, took a scoop and ran back to Ryan.

Spencer dumped the water on Ryan’s face without any warning. Ryan spluttered but managed to use the water to wash what sand he could off his face, and then got the rest off when Spencer got more water. Brendon threw over the tea towel that had been wrapped around the drinks.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer apologised as he attempted to brush the sand out of Ryan’s hair. “You alright?”

Ryan peered over the tea towel, pausing for a moment before he finished drying his face and threw the towel back at Brendon, who caught it.

“I will be in a minute.” Ryan said flatly.

Spencer looked confused and Ryan took that moment to pounce. Spencer landed flat on his back with Ryan covering him, pinning him to the ground. Brendon cheered, clapping and laughing as he started recording on his phone.

Spencer shoved Ryan to the side and used the momentum to flip Ryan over. The struggle turned into a full on wrestling match with a lot of yelling and laughing from everyone. Brendon set his phone down so he could wave the towel around like a flag. He kinda hoped there was no one else around to see that because Spencer and Ryan were fighting pretty dirty now and it looked a lot more serious than it really was.

Eventually Spencer managed to pin Ryan down underneath him.

“Brendon! Bren, I need a referee!” Spencer yelled struggling to keep Ryan’s arm down and grab his leg for a count.

Brendon leaped up from the picnic blanket, sand flying everywhere and threw himself down on the sand by Ryan’s shoulders. Ryan flashed him a half smile, then bucked up trying to throw Spencer off. That was the wrong move though and Spencer was able to get his arm under Ryan’s leg.

“One!” Brendon called slapping his hand down on the sand, spraying it everywhere. “Two! T-“

With a yell Ryan kicked out, arched his back and tipped Spencer backwards. He rolled with it and folded Spencer up into a ball with his shoulders on the ground, using his own weight and Spencer’s awkward position against him to keep Spencer pinned.

“One! Two! Three! Ding, ding!” Brendon cheered. “Ryan wins by three count.”

Ryan let go of Spencer and rolled away before jumping to his feet and victory punched the sky. Brendon laughed at Spencer’s pout as he stretched himself back out.

“That’s the first wresting match you’ve won in years.” Spencer said sounding impressed.

“Bullshit, I won that one last week.” Ryan beamed.

“You elbowed me in the balls, illegal move so that one doesn’t count.” Spencer pointed out, sitting up and shaking sand out of his hair.

“We had no ref, therefore those moves are allowed. Plus it was an accident, I did say sorry.”
Spencer shrugged and gave up on his hair, instead trying to clean off what he could from his shirt. Brendon scoffed.

“Neither of you have beaten me without illegal moves. According to Jon’s record book I’m on top of the leader board.” Brendon grinned. “You two are equal last.”

Both Spencer and Ryan started at him for a moment.

“Jon has a record book? Seriously?” Ryan asked blinking slowly.

“Yeah, that blue book he used to take with him everywhere.” Brendon explained, surprised that they didn’t know that. “Thought you knew.”

“I thought he gave up writing it down after a week.” Spencer said thoughtfully. “Though that would explain why he always took it on tour then when he visited.”

“I thought he used it for things like music notes.” Ryan admitted, then, “Are we really last?”

“Yep, and I’m totally beating your asses.” Brendon smirked.

Spencer and Ryan shared a look and Brendon glanced between the two. His eyes widened when he suddenly caught on to what was happening and made a run for it, but Spencer caught his ankle keeping him where he was. Ryan grabbed his arms as Brendon flailed around to keep his balance and Spencer picked him up by the legs. Brendon yelled struggling.

“No! No!”

“Winner deserves a victory bath. Don’t you think, Ry?” Spencer smiled evilly.

Brendon kept struggling but didn’t have quite enough energy to keep it up for long enough to get a limb free. Ryan laughed mischievously and smirked. Together they carried Brendon over to the water’s edge. A small wave splashed against their legs hard enough to flick water onto Brendon’s back.

“No, don’t! It’s cold!”

Ryan and Spencer counted to three and threw Brendon in before jumping in themselves. Brendon broke the surface and spat out a mouthful of water.

There were no winners in the water flight that followed.

*

The three of them stayed until the sun had completely set and the light breeze became too cold. There was no light source on the beach, the path or in the car park, so the walk back was slow going. Just like in the daytime Brendon as usual stumbled over the rock he hated with a passion.

“Next time I come back here I’m bringing a shovel and moving that fucking thing.” He grumbled, carefully edging around it.

“I’ll help,” Ryan agreed as he attempted to inspect his foot in the dark. “I think I cut my toe on it.”

“Need me to call an ambulance?” Brendon didn’t need to see to know Spencer was smirking as he asked.

Ryan gave Spencer a light push that almost made Spencer loose his balance in the deep sand. A sharp gust of wind blew by and Brendon shuddered. He unravelled the picnic blanket he was carrying and wrapped it over his shoulders.

When they finally reached the car, they threw everything in the back seat. Brendon quickly climbed in with the blanket still wrapped around him, now pulled up around his face.

“And a jacket. Next time I’m bringing warm clothes too.” Brendon added to the earlier conversation.

Spencer turned the heater on and let it warm up before putting the car in drive. Tired, Brendon leaned his head against the window. Today was the longest, most active day he’s had in a while and was starting to feel it. That and the lack of sleep over the last few nights from the anxiety, made him exhausted. The blanket wrapped around him wasn’t helping in staying awake until he got home, or whoever’s house he ends up staying at tonight, but he was too cold to let go of it.

“So I vote for fish and chips for dinner, to go with the theme of our day,” Ryan suggested. “Anyone else?”

“Me. Where from?” Spencer asked.

“Same here.”

Brendon sat back and listened to the two of the discuss where the best place to go for food and who’s house they were going back to. Really, Brendon didn’t mean to but after ten minutes his eyes slipped shut.

“That place by the hospital was pretty good last time, what do you think?” Spencer asked directing the question at Brendon and got no answer.

“Bren?” Ryan asked turning around in his seat.

Ryan smiled seeing Brendon sleeping peacefully and turned back around. Spencer shot him a questioning look.

“Let’s go to that one, it’s close to his house.” Ryan decided. “Bren’s asleep.”

“Really?”

Spencer took a quick glance in the rear-view mirror and smiled.

“Huh, we wore him out,” Spencer chuckled. “We’ll get the food first. Let him sleep a little longer before we have to wake him up.”