The Echo in My Head

I sat down on the bed and was immediately thrown on my back. My head was spinning. The feeling of the drugs and the alcohol ran through my veins. I looked up at the ceiling and smiled at the face staring at me with a shameful look.

"Are you disappointed in me daddy? Have I brought shame to you yet? This what you get for leaving me here. You died and left me. You promised it would always be us together. You lied. I hate you."

I dropped to my knees and sobbed. I didn't hate my dad, I hated that he was gone. This feeling was something I couldn't handle. I searched around my room as strangers continued to loiter in my house.

Immediately, or almost immediately a small razor caught my eyes. I sat in my desk chair before allowing the sharp metal object to slice through my skin. I was instantly overwhelmed with the smell of blood. I loved it. I threw my head back and let the blood continue to run down my arm.

Soon I passed out. I woke the next morning with a major hangover and dried blood on my face,neck and arm. At least I was able to forget everything for a while. Only downside, everything was coming at me with a force now. It was true. My dad was gone.My best-friend, the only person in the entire world that understood me was died. Had died in a car crash, and it was all my fault.

I took my eyes off the rode. I had been drinking even though I knew I shouldn't have. I had been texting my asshole of an ex,yelling at him cause he cheated. I had made everything a priority, but our safety. I had survived, but my dad hadn't. I killed my father. All because of a stupid text and a stupid drink that could've waited until I got home.

The guilt and the pain was becoming to much. Again I grabbed the razor, this time letting it make thin lines that leaked blood as the stroke continued. I threw my head back and bathed in the pain that wasn't related to the death of my father and best-friend.