The Echo in My Head

The car began to swerve. I began to panic. My hands flew over my eyes as my dad yelled my name.

"Kitty, grab hold of the wheel! Kitty!"

"Daddy I'm scared." I yelled back the tears flowing down my cheeks. My dad grab the wheel and yelled for me to step on the brakes, instead my foot hit the gas. We flew down the street into another car head first.

I could hear the sirens as the cars sped to the scene. I could see my dad lying motionless about three feet away from me. I tried to scream his name but couldn't get a sound out. Moments later everything went black.

I woke up in a sweat. My entire body was drenched. I could feel an arm wrapped around my waist. It was Annie, I mean Caramel. Slowly I remember everyone had slept over my house, but that didn't stop the panic that had began to creep into my bones.

I jumped out of bed upset that i couldn't do it here in the safety of my room. I grabbed the razor blade from the inside of my pillowcase and ran down the hall. I could hear my mom in there throwing up. I groaned as the panic began to grow rapidly.

I ran down the stairs barely able to breathe. The panic was beginning to get worst. Finally giving up I headed for the closet and locked myself in. I let the razor kiss my side tenderly as I exhaled finally able to breathe. Again the razor kissed my smooth skin on my side eagerly. My blood oozed out and ran down like tears glad to be freed.

The tears started and the pain grew. I didn't get it. Why wasn't this working? For so many months it had worked. Why not now? It was getting harder to see as the tears welled up and spilled over. My throat closed up as my chest heaved. It felt like I couldn't breathe once again.

I dropped to knees my hand clutching my throat trying hard to get some air into my lungs. I didn't know what was happening. Suddenly the door flew opened and a pair of arms were pulling me into them.

"Calm down and breathe."said the voice." Just breathe. It's nothing but a panic attack."

I did as told as the tears continued to come down. After about fifteen minutes I was finally calm enough to realize who it was who found me. I was surprised to see Echo being the one stroking my hair to calm me down.

"How did you find me?" I asked him.

"I was on my way to the bathroom when I heard you trying to breathe. Honestly I was surprised to find you in a closet. Can i ask you a question?" He said sincerely.

"Um...sure."

"Why you in the closet?" He asked. I sighed as I raised up my shirt to reveal the two lines on my side. He said nothing as he pulled my shirt back down.

"You're not going to ask about it?" I asked sniffling a little as I wiped at my eyes.

"I already know you're going to tell me when your ready." I said nothing else as he wrapped his arms around me, careful not to hurt my side, and pulled us over to the couch. I laid wrapped in his arms as we slowly drifted off to sleep.

When you find a reason to be yourself, nothing painful can break you ever again. All you have to do is hold on to it and be happy.

I wonder if Echo was my reason. Only problem I wasn't sure who I was anymore. In my eyes I was nothing more than a murderer.