Beautiful Soul

-Alex-

I woke up later that night around five thirty. Ander was again supposed to call at seven. That meant I had an hour and a half before is call. Just then, I realized I was in my dorm. Holden’s dorm. How had I gotten here? I didn’t remember a thing. Everything was a blur. The last thing I remembered was talking to Lee Am. Lee Am must have been the one that brought me here. How long had I been sleeping? I sat up, looking over to Holden’s side of the room. He was at his desk, where he always seemed to be.

I got up from the bed, grabbed my stuff, and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” Holden asked. This seemed like déjà vu. I had been in this situation the previous day with him.

“I’m leaving.” I said, bluntly.

“Why? It’s your dorm, too.” he said, not only shocking me, but surprising me, too. He was being oddly calm and relaxed.

“What?” I asked. It’s not that I didn’t hear him, or that I didn’t understand, it just didn’t seem right.

“I said it’s your dorm, too. You can stay here.” I looked back at him, furrowing my eyebrows out of confusion. He didn’t look up from his music.

“Look, just take the offer before I change my mind.” he said, this time looking at me. I looked back at him.

“Thanks.” was all I could say. I was seriously flabbergasted. I took my things back to my bed, placing my backpack at the foot. I decided on it not being a good time for me to unpack considering the bra and feminine products.

“I do have one circumstance.” Oh, god. Not another one of these. “Just stay away from my things, stupid.” he stated. Stupid. Really? Was that a new nickname as well as Alexandrier?

“Fine.” I sat on my bed, watching as Holden went back to his work. I smiled as soon as he stopped looking at me. Things finally were looking up for me.

---

-One Week Later-

Things had been going good for the most part, besides the Juliet thing. Come to find out, I was in a group with Lee Am, Holden, and –the worst- Oliver. Oliver had kept his distance, not asking for anything besides small favors. He added his number into my phone without asking my permission, which I didn’t like, but I had to deal with it for the sake of Ander’s career.

Holden had eased off of me, too, thankfully. He didn’t really acknowledge me much unless it was during our group project. We had to work on a song featuring all of our talents. It was hard for me. We hadn’t fully come up with the song, or the instrument parts yet, but we were working on it.

Lee Am and I had gotten closer. We hung out over the weekend, going out to eat for lunch. It was nice. He was being oddly kind to me, but was kind of suspicious, but I didn’t look that much into it.

Ander was still calling every night, which was hard for me, but I pulled through. I had to sneak out every night at the same time in order to talk comfortably to him.

“Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.” I read aloud from the book I held. This was my all time favorite part of the play.

“Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?” Holden read directly after I. He had been chosen to read the part of Romeo.

“Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.” I felt my cheek grow slightly warm. It was definitely awkward reading aloud, especially when Romeo was your roommate.

“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.” he read aloud, reading carefully over most words.

“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.” I finished the sentence perfectly right before the bell rung. The end of the hour. I was grateful of the bell.

Lee Am and I made our way to Music Education, arriving with seven minutes to spare.

“Are you excited to see your father the weekend, Alexandrier?” Lee Am asked abruptly as we sat in our usual spots on stage. I’d completely forgotten about my father coming to visit. If Lee Am hadn’t reminded me, I would have totally let it slip my mind entirely.

“A little bit, yeah.” I said, half-smiling. It would be nice to see him, but I felt like we’d have nothing to talk about. Yeah, there was talk about the school, but that would be totally made up, considering I didn’t actually go to the school he thought. We never had much to talk about anyways, so I guess it would be normal. The hard part about this weekend would be finding a place to change into my female clothes, and sneak out in them. I’d already planned on bringing my backpack with extra clothes, but my dad was planning on picking me up only a block from the academy, so I’d definitely have to leave in the girl clothes.

“Oh, come on, you have to be more excited than just a little. It’s been like two weeks since you have seen him.” he said, nudging me a little. He leaned back on his forearms.

I played with the bottom on the top portion of the uniform, “I am excited, it’s just-” I was cut off by a deep voice saying my name.

“Hey, Alex! Come here for a second.” It was Oliver who said this. Oh, great.

He sat across the auditorium from where Lee Am and I were sitting. His friends, who all seemed pretty childish, were sitting around him, watching me. Did he tell them about me?

“Alex, come on already!” Oliver yelled, motioning for me to come over to him. There were not-so-subtle looks on every single one of their faces.

“Just a second.” I told Lee Am, “I’ll be right back.” I finished, taking a slow look at him. I got up, making my way slowly toward the three boys.

“What do you want, Oliver?” I asked, trying to keep myself as calm as I could.

“Hey now, girly, don’t get snappy with me!” he said, giving a smirk. Go, he had told his friends.

“Oliver, telling them was not a part of our deal. The deal was that you wouldn’t say anything as long as I would do what you say. You said something.” I said, glaring at him. He had gone against our agreement by telling his two friends about me being a girl.
“Oh, these guys won’t say anything.” he said. “Unless I tell them to, which may happen if you don’t listen.” He finished.

I shook my head, “That still doesn’t make it right.” I said, biting my lip to prevent myself from saying something that I would possibly regret. There was no guarantee that they wouldn’t say anything.

“I don’t care what’s right or not.” he said, giving me a vulgar look.

“Just tell me what you want.” I said. I sighed softly.

“We want coffee, and you’re going to get it for us. We want it black.” Oliver said, placing his order. I glared once again. He was giving me such a pointless, stupid task.

“You are…fine.” I gave in, stopping myself from saying what I was thinking. I had to give in. I had no choice but to follow what he said.

I turned to leave, bumping right into Holden. “Sorry.” I said as I brushed past him, ignoring him if he said anything.

I walked to the nearest coffee machine which was, thankfully, right outside the auditorium. I grabbed a cup for each of the three, sliding then under the spout one by one. It reminded me of my first night at the academy. The night that I brought Holden a coffee after Ander called. The night I was kicked out of the dorm. I had gained a first-degree burn that night. The burn had healed a majority of the way since then, leaving only a scar from where the blisters had popped. I no longer had to use a bandage, nor did I have to use antibiotics. I had learned my lesson with the pain medicine, considering the incident that happened. Never again would I take them unless the pain was beyond severe. I knew better. It was also a very strong pain reliever, which the doctor somehow forgot to tell me. I didn’t have to take the medicine anymore, but I had only stopped recently. I took them up until Sunday. It was now Tuesday.

I carefully walked back with the coffee after I had finished making them. I had the urge to spit in the coffee, but I wasn’t that rude. Class still hadn’t started, but nearly all of the students were on stage. There were a few who still hadn’t made it to class.
I delivered the coffee to the boys, glaring at each as I gave them their cups. “Anything else?” I asked, fake smiling.

Oliver chuckled, his friends doing the same shortly after. They were like little minions who were controlled by Oliver. Kind of like what I was becoming.

“No, you’re dismissed.” he said, acting like I was some sort of slave. I breathed in deeply, biting my tongue. Oliver gave another smirk, waving his hand as if to tell me to go. I rolled my eyes, trying to keep my cool.

Walking back over to Lee Am, I smoothed my uniform out beforesitting down in my spot with a huff.

“Why’d you do that?” he asked, still positioned the way he was before.

“I lost a bet to him.” I lied. I ran my right hand through my hair. My hair instantly fell back into place. It hadn’t gotten any longer yet, but it would. I just knew it’d be way longer probably before the end of the month. I’d have to cut it again.

“What was the bet?” he asked, looking at me. I didn’t look back. Instead, I stared straight ahead.

“It doesn’t really matter, I just didn’t win it.” I replied. He left it alone after that, realizing that I didn’t want to talk about it. That’s what I liked about Lee Am. He was so understanding, and he knew when to shut up. He was sweet, too, which was a plus.

---

The week seemed to fly by, and before I knew it, it was Saturday. The day I was supposed to meet my father for lunch. I had came up with a better plan, deciding that I would change in the department store that was close to where my father had said he was going to pick me up.

I left the academy, making my way toward the department store, being careful of cars and other pedestrians. I crossed the street using the crosswalk, and landed in front of store. I walked in, making my way through the store, following the signs that were labeled ‘Restrooms’. I made my decision to go into the woman’s bathroom when no one was looking.

I made it in successfully, making my way toward a stall. I started by putting in the extensions, which I would obviously have to fix in the mirror later. I had packed a light blue dress that cut off right before the knees. The dress had short sleeves, not quite like a tank top, but close to it. It had a black belt that tied around the waist. I added a white, short-sleeved overcoat over the dress, and used Ander’s combat boots ash shoes, since I had forgotten to pack any. It didn’t look horrible with the dress, but it didn’t exactly match.

I walked out of the stall, looking at myself in the mirror. I looked almost exactly like I did before the transformation. I never really used much make-up before, so I decided on not using any. I did have to put my extensions in place, but that’s all the touch ups I had. I gave myself a smile in the mirror before I felt the bathroom.

Walking through the store toward the exit, I felt as though everyone was staring at me. I knew they weren’t, though. I exited the building, looking at my phone for the time. Twelve fifty-four. I had six minutes until my father was supposed to pick me up. We decided on going to a semi-fancy restaurant called Amor de Alimentos, which was a Mexican restaurant. I wasn’t too crazy about Mexican food, but my father adored it.

A car came around the corner, slowing to a stop when it reached me. The passenger seat window rolled down. Ander was there. My jaw dropped. Ander was here, but how? His legs shouldn’t even be close to healed yet.

“How?” was all I could say.

Ander laughed, “Really? You haven’t seen me in two weeks, and how is the first thing you say?” he shook his head. “Gee, and here I thought you’d be happy to see me. Boy, was I wrong.” He said, smiling.

“I am so happy!” I said, smiling back at him. “God, I really wish I could hug you.” I said. “But seriously, how are you here?” I asked again, hoping he’d answer this time.

“It wasn’t easy.” he started, “We had to ask for special permission to leave the hospital. Knowing that flying here was out of the picture, we drove. They sent me with a wheelchair to get around.” he finished, shrugging.

My father looked around Ander to see me, “Hey, honey.” He said, giving me a smile.

I smiled at him, “Hey, Dad.” I replied, waving a little.
Ander cleared his throat, “Well, get in already, slowpoke. We don’t need to be holding up traffic.” he said, not even realizing how stupid he sounded. They were parked in a parking spot.
“Oh, Ander.” I said, entering the back of the car behind him.
We drove in silence to the restaurant. It wasn’t totally awkward, only because the radio had been playing. Ander and I both sang along to the song, while our father just drove.

We turned the corner, turning onto the street that the restaurant was in. The restaurant came into view a few seconds later. It was small and elegant looking from the outside.

“Mind getting my wheelchair, sis?” Ander asked me as we were parked in front of the restaurant.

“Sure, I will.” I said as my father popped the trunk open. I got out of the car, smoothing my dress before making my way toward the trunk. I opened it the rest of the way and was surprised by what I saw. My mother’s wedding ring was connected to a chain. It sat directly on top of the wheelchair. I grabbed a hold of the necklace, holding it in my left Tears welled in my eyes, making my vision slightly blurry. I missed her so much. Why was the wedding ring here? It made me think of almost every memory that I had with her whether it be a small memory, or big. She’d be proud of me for what I was doing for Ander.

I grabbed Ander’s wheelchair out of the trunk, unfolding it as I did so. I wheeled it to the passenger side of the car, opening the door immediately.

“Surprise!” the both of them said. Ander showed me the necklace hanging around his neck. It had our father’s wedding ring on it. We now had matching necklaces.

“I…uh…I…thank you both. I love it.” I said, playing with the necklace between my fingers. Ander made his way into his wheelchair all by himself. I was surprised with how skilled he was at doing it. He was pretty much perfect at it. He probably had done it before, or practiced more than I thought.

Dad wheeled Ander into the restaurant. I would have done it, but Dad insisted on doing it himself. I didn’t argue.

“Reservations, please.” The waiter at the front podium said. He had a slight Mexican accent to his voice.

“Oakland.” My father said. This was the type of restaurant where you had to have reservations for lunch, too, which seemed totally bizarre to me.

“Yes, here you are. Right this way, sir.” The waiter said, giving us a polite smile. He grabbed three menus from under his podium, leading us to a table set fo three. The waiter took the chair that was set out for Ander away since he was in a wheelchair. Dad pushed Ander up close enough to the table, before taking my seat out for me. He was being oddly generous. I sat down, thanking him with a small smile and a nod. He sat down shortly after.

The waiter, who never said his name, handed us our menus. They were decorated finely with things that matched the theme of the restaurant. I opened the menu, scanning it for a food that either looked, or sounded good. The only thing that seemed remotely good to me was the Chicken Tostadas. I honestly had no clue what they were, or how they tasted. I was never too fond of Mexican food.

“Alexandria, what happened to your hand?” Dad asked, referring to my scars for the coffee.

“Just a little coffee spill. I had it looked at by a doctor, and he took care of it.” I said, hiding my hand under the table.

“Need to be a little more careful there, Lex.” Ander said, playfully nudging me with is hand. I smiled at him.

“I’ll try, And.” I responded, but my father didn’t seem too amused by it. I ignored the look he gave me.

The waiter came back to the table to take our order, and then left after receiving it. He brought us our drinks, carefully setting them down. We thanked him, and he simply left.

I looked around the restaurant, noticing the couples having lunch together, families sharing a lunch, and even some were eating alone. Most of them looked happy, while some looked otherwise. I glanced to my left seeing the blonde I had ran into at the airport. She was with a guy.

‘Holden.’ I immediately thought.

Dad excused himself from the table to use the restroom. The god awful men’s restroom.

“Ander!” I whispered. “Someone from the academy is here.” I finished, looking over to where Holden wasn’t facing us, but he could easily get up at any moment.

“Don’t worry so much. He’ll never notice. If he does, I’ll just act like myself. Now, what’s his name?” he asked, looking at me. He was being extremely calm.

“Ander, that isn’t going to work. What about Dad? Dad thinks I am going somewhere completely different than where I actually am. If he comes over here an says something to you, Dad’s going to figure out our little plan. Plus, I don’t know if you know this, but you’re in a wheelchair. The Alexander he knows is fully capable of walking.” I whispered, trying to hide the panic in my voice. I was sure that the panic was at least showing on my face at the moment.

“Well, I highly doubt he’ll come over here anyways. Does he even really know you?” Ander asked.

“Considering Holden is my roommate, I’m pretty sure he really knows me.” I said, glancing at Holden.

“Okay, in that case, er ae screwed.” He said leaning back in his wheelchair, He sighed. His dream could be crushed in a matter of seconds.

Holden rose, turning our way. I looked away from him, praying that he wouldn’t see either of us. I looked out of the corner of my eye to see him looking at Ander. Ander over-obviously avoided the look. Holden looked at me, which I accidently glanced over while he did so. Wait, Ander has brown eyes and I have green eyes. The Ander he knew had green eyes, not brown like he did now. Oh no.

At this point, Holden was staring. He was in the middle of the restaurant, staring at me.

“He’s staring at your hand.” Ander whispered, watching Holden subtly. Dammit. I had forgottn about my hand. Now he was definitely going to figure out my secret.

“Damn. Is he still staring?” I asked, watching Ander for a response. He nodded.

“He knows.” I said shortly after, not taking my eyes away from Ander.

“You don’t know that. He may just be psyched out about how similar we look, like most people.” He whispered, trying to lighten the mood.

“Ander, our eye color is different, you are in a wheelchair, and I have a burn on my hand that Holden is aware of. He knows!” I whispered back, as our father came back from his restroom break.

“Hey, Dad.” I said, avoiding Holden’s stare. He was still indeed staring. I could see my dad watching him cautiously.

“Who is that boy and why is he staring at you?” I took a sip of water while my father was asking this. “Is he your boyfriend?” he finished asking, and I choked instantly. Ander chuckled a bit, but stopped once I glared at him.

“No, Dad. I don’t know who he is, or what he wants.” I said. By the time the sentence had gotten out of my mouth, Holden was gone.

“Well he seemed to be staring for an awful long time.” He said taking a sip of coke.

Our food eventually came after a little while of waiting. Ander had ordered some weird Fish Taco thing, which utterly disgusted me. He was always up for trying weird dishes, unlike me. I can remember a countless number of times when he wanted m to try something, and I refused. Dad ate some sort of Chicken Quesadilla thing, which I didn’t really care too much for. My food, on the other hand, wasn’t half bad. It was pretty good, which came to a surprise for me. I couldn’t enjoy it, though. Holden had just possibly figured out my secret and I had no clue what he was doing. He left the restaurant earlier, the girl following shortly behind. He could be talking to the head of the academy, telling him that I am a girl. I didn’t know.

After paying the fee for our lunch, we left the restaurant. I was entirely nervous on what would happen when I got back. If Holden hadn’t told, then what was he planning?