Beautiful Soul

Oliver opened the door. His face was all bruised up. He honestly looked like crap. He glared as he noticed me, and I stepped back. Lee Am was behind him, fidgeting with something in his hands. He looked over, noticing me. Giving me a smile, he waved his hand to say hello. I waved back, giving a soft smile. He held up a finger signaling me to wait a minute. I nodded, understanding.

Oliver stood at the door, not saying a word. He only glared, which made me slightly uncomfortable. I looked toward the ground, also not saying anything. I could feel the hate that was travelling off of him. It was travelling toward me.

Lee Am scooted past Oliver giving him an odd look. He saw me, frowning instantly.

“Now what happened to your face?” he asked, studying the bruise and cut. “You couldn’t have been the guy who Oliver fought.” he said, looking at Oliver, then back to me.

I shook my head, “No, I fell down a set of stairs.” I lied, putting my best face on. I glanced at Oliver, who still hadn’t said a word.

“Well, you’re a clumsy little thing, now aren’t you?” he laughed, but it didn’t seem as though he believed me.

“Yeah, I guess so.” I looked at Oliver.

“Let’s get going!” Lee Am said, pushing Oliver back a little bit. He closed the door, and walked toward the exit. I followed behind him shortly.

---

After spending the day with Lee Am, I returned to my dorm. It was around seven when I got back. Holden was writing lyrics to some new song for his record deal, and I had Trigonometry homework that I hadn’t finished the previous night.

I sighed out of frustration as I got to a problem that I didn’t understand at all. How the hell was I supposed to figure it out? How can Ander actually do this? I took out a paper that explained how to do it, but it was no help at all. I slammed my book shut, and tossed it to the other side of my bed.

“How am I supposed to know this?” I said, lying back against my bed.

“Well, you should since, you know, you were put it the class.” I heard Holden say, chuckling shortly after.

“I wasn’t put in the class. Ander was. He’s way smarter than me in math.” I replied, turning my head to face him. He continued on with his music, glancing at me as he talked.

“I could help, if you’d like.” he offered, which surprised me.

I sat up instantly, “Really? Because I understand absolutely none of this.” I accepted, smiling.

“I could, under one condition.” he smiled.

“Oh, geez, what’s the condition?” I asked, crinkling my nose up.

“I want coffee.” he replied, looking at me. He rested his head on his fist.

“Why is it always coffee with you guys?” I asked rhetorically as I got to my feet. “Fine. Anything special in it? Cream, milk, spit?” I asked.

He laughed, “No, nothing. Just a black coffee.” he ordered. I walked out the door, shaking my head as I did so.

I took the short walk to the coffee machine which was only a minute or two from Holden and my dorm. I grabbed a cup and filled it with coffee the way he wanted it. Why did so many people here like coffee? I shrugged my thought off, placing a lid on the coffee cup to prevent any accidents.

I walked back to my dorm with the coffee in hand. I entered the dorm to see a cake. Why was there a cake?

“I heard it was your birthday tomorrow.” Holden said, “So, I decided to get you a cake. It’s no big deal, really.” he finished. The cake looked perfect. It had my name in perfect script along with the usual birthday saying.

“Thank you, Holden, but how did you know?” I asked. It was so thoughtful of him.

“Lee Am told me.” he said. Dammit, Lee Am. I had told him to keep it a secret.

“Of course he did.” I said. I didn’t really mind that he told, it’s just I didn’t want anyone to make such a big deal about it.

“Well, give me my coffee.” he said, reaching for it.

“Now, see, I think this should be mine, since tomorrow is my birthday.” I said, holding the coffee away from him. It wasn’t as hot as it had been the first night. He walked towards me, trying to grab the coffee, but I ran the other way.

I took a sip, “See, now it’s mine.” I said, smirking at him. He glared playfully, chasing after me. He was still determined to get it, and I wouldn’t let him. I laughed as he chased me. We ran round the room, until he disappeared from my site. I looked around, confused on where he went. I felt arms wrap around my waist, spinning me around.

My eyes widened as he put me on the ground, but he didn’t let go of my waist. We stood there in the same position. I froze, not knowing what to do or say.

The door opened. His girlfriend. He let go of me, but she still noticed. Thank God I was supposed to be a guy.

“Serenity, what are you doing here?” Holden asked, stepping away from me. She was beyond pretty. She had hazel eyes, and perfect blonde locks. I was nothing compared to her. There was a twinge of jealousy in the pit of my stomach. I licked my lips, handing the coffee to him. He took it.

“You know you aren’t supposed to be here.” Holden said. Serenity glared at me.

“Oh, I know, honey. I just came here to meet your roommate. I’ve heard so much about him, just thought I would get to know him.” she said, smiling. Holden drank a sip of his coffee, setting it on his dresser.

“Oh, okay.” he said, raising an eyebrow as if he were still confused.

“Mind if I talk to you if the hallway a second?” she asked me, nodding her head toward the door.

“Yeah, uh, sure. Why not?” I laughed nervously. I had a feeling deep inside of me that she didn’t just want to talk.

I nodded, exiting the room before her. She smiled at Holden, “Just a second, babe. It shouldn’t take too long.” she said, closing the door behind her.

“Listen here you little bitch, you better not try anything. Oliver told me all about your little sneak in, alright. I know who you are, and what you are. Don’t try anything with Holden, or else. You are lucky I’m not telling the school about this already.” she finished. I knew she was serious. She had this gleam in here eye that told me so.

I nodded in agreement.

“Do you understand?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. I nodded, but that wasn’t enough for her, “Say it. Actually promise me that you won’t try anything and that you’ll keep your distance.” she commanded as quietly as she could.

“I promise.” I said, breathing deeply.

“Good! Oh, and by the way, that little stunt in there will cost you.” she said, “You just wait.” she finished. She left after that, leaving me in shock. Oliver had told her. I couldn’t say anything to Holden. I had to keep this a secret for Ander’s sake.

I walked back in the dorm, ignoring Holden as he asked what she had said. I sat on my bed, deciding to work on my Trigonometry.

“Do you want help?” he asked, walking over to my bed.

“No, no, I think I got it.” I lied. I would just take another fifty on this paper.

---

-Two weeks later-

I had been going to Hartman Music Academy for a month. I had a total of two months left as my brother. Only two months. Two months and Ander would be healed. It was a very happy thought. I’d have to live the next two months as a boy, and then I would be done, although there was a small piece of me who didn’t want to leave.

I had been avoiding Holden was much as I possibly could, trying not to get in the way of Serenity and him. She had been very clear with what she’d said. Holden had been trying to spend some time with me, but I would always come up with some excuse. I’m pretty sure he knew they were excuses too, because he would just keep trying.

Lee Am and I had gotten way closer over the past two weeks. We’d pretty much do everything together. We’d spent most of the weekends together. He was so mice to me, and incredibly sweet. It’s like he knew I was a girl. That wasn’t possible though. Only a few people knew about that, and so far, none of them told Lee Am, which I was thankful for.

Ander and I hadn’t had time to call each other for a few days either due to tests he had with his legs, or tests I had in Trigonometry that I needed to study for. There really wasn’t use for studying for them, considering I literally couldn’t get any better than a C-minus. Every other class I had, I was doing perfect in, just not Trig. It was nearly impossible for me to understand.

“Take your seats, class. We will be finishing the play today. Alexander, whenever you are ready, you may begin where we left off.” Mr. Rosenberg said, sitting at his desk.

“What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end: O churl! Drunk all, and left no friendly drop to help me after? I will kiss thy lips; Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to make die with a restorative.” I said, reading what happened shortly after. She kissed him to try to kill herself. It was truly romantic, yet morbid at the same time. “Thy lips are warm.” I finished Juliet’s line, feeling her emotions myself.

“Lead, boy: which way?” One of the boys in the back said, saying his role as the First Watchman.

“Yea, noise? Then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!” She grabbed Romeo’s dagger at this point. “This is thy sheath;” She stabbed herself in order to be with her love. “There rust, and let me die.” And she was dead.

The book continued on slowly, lasting until the end of the hour. We ended in silence. Nobody spoke.

“Would anyone care to-“ Mr. Rosenberg started, but he was cut off by the bell ringing. “Alright, then, we will continue tomorrow. Have a nice day.” He finished.

I grabbed my backpack and slung it over my shoulder as I exited the English room. Lee Am was waiting for me outside, but Mr. Rosenberg called me back.

“Mr. Oakland, may I have a word with you?” he asked politely.

I froze, looking at Lee Am. “Oh, sure.” I said, signaling for Lee Am to continue walking without me.

“Well, I just wanted to talk to you about how you have been acting here lately. You seem rather odd. Are you alright?” he asked me. I didn’t think it was that noticeable. Was I really acting odd enough to be confronted by a teacher? My stomach started to hurt. Weird.

“I’m fine, sir.” I told him, “Just a little homesick, I guess.” Which what I said was somewhat true. I was rather homesick, and did miss my family, but that wasn’t the real reason I had been acting the way I was. The real reason was because of Serenity. She’d been pestering me about not getting in her way, which I wasn’t. Holden had seemed rather distant from her, which I hoped wasn’t because of me. She’d definitely say something if it was.

“Well, alright then. I assume I can trust you on this.” he said, nodding. “You may leave.” He said, looking down at a paper. I stood up, and my stomach started hurting even worse. Was this really happening now? It was the beginning of a new month, which is why it didn’t really surprise me. It was my time of the month. Great.

It was the first time this had happened since I got here, since I had it before I came last time, which I was thankful for. I was glad I had remembered to pack pads, but it would probably look weird if Holden every searched through my things.

I ran back to my room, knowing I would be late for Music Education. I didn’t care though. Holden wasn’t there when I had gotten there, which I was thankful for.

After I finished what I needed to do, I made my way to Music Education. My stomach still hurt, but I tried to ignore it. I hurried through the auditorium doors, and everyone stared. I smiled shyly, walking up the rows of seats to the stage. They were all in their groups Lee Am smiled at me, Holden stared, and Oliver didn’t even acknowledge me. I didn’t mind though. Our teacher just smiled at me, not even caring that I was late. I sat beside Lee Am, trying to stay as far away from Holden as I could.

“Hey, Alexandrier! Why so late?” he asked, playfully hitting me with his hand.

“Just, you know, had a few things to grab from my dorm.” I lied, shrugging.

I glanced at Holden, who was looking at me. I quickly looked away, feeling slightly embarrassed to have even made eye contact.

“So our song is finished, we just need to learn the parts.” Lee Am said, passing out the correct parts to us. The drum sheet looked incredibly difficult for me to do. I would have to have a little of Ander’s help.

“We could have a get together some time, if you guys wouldn’t mind.” Lee Am suggested. I did mind, but I wouldn’t say anything.

None of us said a word to Lee Am’s suggestion. I could tell we all thought it was a bad idea. We were all silent, waiting for one of the other two to speak up. Neither Holden, nor Oliver did, so I decided to.

“I’m fine with meeting up sometime to work on it.” I said, looking at the three of them.

Holden spoke up after I did. “Why not?” he said, which he didn’t seem too thrilled about. He stared at the ground, finishing what he had to say, “As long as it isn’t Sunday. Serenity and I have plans.”

Oliver still chose not to speak. Lee Am shrugged, continuing on planning our session. He took Oliver’s silence as an approval from him.

“Okay, so how about Saturday since Holden cannot do Sunday?” Lee Am asked us.

Saturday. I couldn’t think of anything I had planned for Saturday, so I agreed. “Sure. Saturday is a good day for me.” I said, smiling toward Lee Am. He smiled back at me.

“Holden? Oliver? How about you? Are you guys okay with Saturday?” I could tell he was mostly looking for an answer out of Holden, considering Oliver didn’t even answer the first question he asked. Holden nodded shortly after Lee Am asked. Oliver, yet again, said nothing, which didn’t really come as a surprise to anyone.

“Aright! Then it is settled. We’ll meet in here on Saturday to practice.” Lee Am confirmed.

The class ended about thirty minutes after we had finished discussing out plan. I had P.E. next. Cramping, plus physically working? Not a good mixture to have. That is the reason I decided on ditching the class. The cramps were bad enough to where working out wouldn’t be good. It would most likely just make them worse.

I refused to ask the campus doctor for Tylenol because if I did, he would have to know the reasoning behind it. I’d have to lie, which I wasn’t that good at, especially with him. He knew about me lying the first time I went to him, what would make it different this time? I felt as though he knew every lie I ever told by the way he looked at me. Even the fact that I was a girl pretending to be a girl.

I laid down on my bed as soon as I got to my dorm. I curled up, trying to stop my stomach from cramping. They didn’t seem to go away with everything I tried. And because of that, I decided on skipping the rest of my classes as well.

Holden came in after the end of his last class, not even trying to question why I had skipped out on classes. It made me feel a little sad that he hadn’t cared to even ask, but I shrugged it off. It didn’t matter, anyways.

I curled myself further into a ball.

“What’s wrong with you?” Holden finally asked, and it kind of startled me when he did.

“Nothing is wrong. It isn’t that important.” I said as I got up to use the bathroom.

“God dammit, Alex!” I heard Holden yell as he slammed his fist down on the table. I jumped, not expecting it. “Why have you been acting this way for the past few weeks? It’s like you aren’t even the same person.” He stood up, making his way toward me. “You’ve been distant ever since your birthday, which is different from the way you acted before. It been like this ever since Seren talked to you…” he paused for a minute, “She didn’t say anything to you, did she?” he asked, putting his hands on my shoulder. I froze, “Tell me if she did.” He said, looking into my eyes.

I didn’t answer him, knowing that if I did, I would have to tell him the truth about what happened.

“She did, didn’t she? What did she say?” he asked, raising an eyebrow while asking.

“Holden, it doesn’t matter even if she did. Yeah, she did say something, but what does it matter? It’s not like it affects you.” I said, turning my head to avoid his stare.

“It does affect me. It affects the relationship we have, stupid.” he said, yet again, using that nickname. It was such a horrible nickname.

“What relationship? We don’t have a relationship, Holden! I’m just a normal girl who doesn’t even matter. I’m not pretty like Serenity, nor am I smart. I mess things up, and I’m completely clumsy. There isn’t anything about me that you should even remotely like.” I said, looking back toward him. I shoved his hand off my shoulders.

“That is exactly the reason why I like you, Alex. I don’t like you for your looks, or your intelligence level. I like you because you are someone who didn’t just use me for my fame like everyone else. You are nice to me, caring, and everything.” he said. Did he actually just admit that he liked me? My heart fluttered as I thought this.

“How do you know that I didn’t use your for your fame?” I asked.

He looked at me, “I can see it in your eyes that you didn’t. You have the total opposite look that Serenity does when she looks at me. Her eyes show desperation and greed. Your eyes show compassion and care. Alex, I like you. I really do like you.” he confessed to me.