How Many Times Can You Race Around the Tree Before You Catch Me?

I looked at Mark.

“I am a female and Jake is a male. It wouldn’t sound very good.” I let go of Andrew and sat back down in my chair.

“Says who? It’s for three weeks, The kids are going to miss out on something no matter what and you know it.” Nikki pitched in to fight for me to not take over.

I would agree with Mark if I knew that the fans weren’t already going to take it negatively. Making a huge change with no notice wasn’t going to sit well with them. My eyes drifted to Jake’s sleeping form. Something we had forgotten through this is that we couldn’t leave Jake alone.

“Someone has to stay here with Jake….” The discussion ended and they all looked at Jake.

“We can’t lose another team member…” I shook my head.

“You can,” I pointed at James,” He’ll stay and Bryce can stick to TM and sound.”

“You mean to us that you aren’t going to help us?” I gave Bryce a blank stare.

“I’m not going to come back now that I’ve made my self available to another job. I can’t abandon them.”

What I said was only the truth. Jake may have been the one I had the issue with, but I wasn’t about to just slip back into my role with the guys.

“Jax,” Nikki’s voice made my chest hurt and I knew what was coming,”We cannot do this without you. I know you don’t want to let other people down, but we will literally cease to exist if you don’t help us. Please….Don’t do this…”

Standing, I grabbed my phone and swiftly exited the room. The plea he made to me made my head hurt and I had to remove myself from the situation, even if for a few minutes. I ended up in the parking lot of the hospital walking around. With the current situation, I had no idea what to do. What the guys wanted me to do was obvious. They wanted me to just take over for him, If I wasn’t afraid that it would turn into something permanent then I would do it. With Jake’s current health status I knew that there was no guarantee on anything.

My saving grace was a late night call from Jeremy about the fall tour. He was telling me how happy everyone was with the videos and he couldn’t wait to see the lights and stage with everything all together. My minimal response to the things he was saying is what alerted him to the situation.

“What’s wrong?” I sighed knowing he wasn’t an idiot.

“Jake’s in the hospital…” He was silent. I heard him say something to someone and some shuffling and finally a door closing.

“What happened?” I sat down against a pillar in the parking garage.

“He Od’ed,” I took in a breathe,”Heroin.” Jeremy’s quiet expletive was the next thing I heard.

“As much as I want to worry about Jake, he’s stable and he is already set up at a rehab center back home. The current issue is that the guys were told that if they drop off this tour they are being cut from the label…”

“Are you going to do what they’re asking?” I dropped my head between my knees. Again my eyes started to tear up.

“I can’t just go back Jeremy… I’m not a performance person and they know that.” He started humming.

“Are you asking for my opinion or do you just want me to listen?”

Did I want his opinion? I honestly didn’t know what to do. Unlike my usual ‘I know how to handle this’ mentality, I was at a loss for words.

“I don’t know what to do. I can’t not help them, but fuck Jeremy. I’m not a front person. I’m not a stage kid. I never was…”

Spots start to appear on my pants where the tears were hitting them. This was one of the worst situations I had ever been in. My best friend is in the hospital for a fucking heroin over dose. The band that I helped build from the ground up might go to shit. I had to help them, but I didn’t know what to do.

“Look, We both know that you’re going to help them. The question is how and what are you going to do?” I took a deep breath.

“Tell me what to do…” His quiet ‘fuck’ told me that he didn’t know what to do either. Then I heard a small bang from the other end of the phone that made me jump.

“Do you really want me to tell you what to do?” I nodded, even though he couldn’t see it.

“Here’s what you’re gonna do. Tomorrow, there’s a practice studio down the street from the venue. You’re going to take the guys and go there. Run through a full set list with all the possibilities that you can use for the live show and then decide what sounds best. Before you do all that, you have to notify the fans. Get the guys to the bus, get going to the venue, and record a video stating the current situation without going into a great amount of detail. Do not tell them he’s in the hospital, just say he won’t be able to continue on the tour. Then at the next show you’ll continue with what ever they were doing. You’ll do that until Jake is back or there’s a different replacement. Reassure them that it won’t be an issue and that you’ll be there to make the show great. That’s it. Don’t stretch yourselves too thin and don’t change the routine.” I carefully listened to his directions.

“Ok, that’s it. I’ll do that.” I sighed again.

“Go do that. Call me in the morning after you wake up and I’ll give you some vocal tips and some warm ups.” My jaw slacked a bit.

“Why do I need vocal tips?” He chuckled.

“I’ve known you and the guys for five years. You’re the only one that can sing. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” The line went dead and I let my head fall back against the pillar.

The next few days were going to be hell for me but I didn’t have a choice. I was going to end up singing for a band that I honestly didn’t feel comfortable doing. My mind spent the next few minutes working out all the details. I would end up singing and everything would stay the same Bryce on guitars and sound, James on drums, Mark for Merch, and all the guys doing what they do. then I realized that someone had to stay behind. It couldn’t be a member of the crew because anything they didn’t do would fall to me. I couldn’t handle that when I had to be working on the band now. Unfortunately, out of all the guys it was going to have to be Mikey or Andrew.

With the plan in mind, I went back to the room. The guys didn’t love the plan, but they knew it was what was best. The only issue was deciding who would stay.

“If Mikey stays then you won’t have to do the acoustic sets. If Andrew stays, you’ll be in charge of the twitter and Instagram.” Nikki looked at me for the answer.

“I’m staying out of this. You guys decide. Someone call the bus.” I laid my head back. Today’s events had finally gotten to me.

“I’ll stay. It’s going to be easier for you to play bass over guitar. You’ll have more room to focus on vocals.” Andrew spoke up.

“Then it’s settled. Andrew will stay and fly with Jake back to Arizona and put him in Rehab. Jax will take over vocals and bass until they come back. Bryce will take over TM and Jax will work on damage control and working with the fans. After Warped we will decide what to do from there. Sound good?” Everyone gave a sad yes to Nikki, including myself.

“Then it’s time to leave,” I looked up at Mikey,”The bus is in the parking lot.” I took a deep breath and look at Jake’s lifeless body.

They each took their turn saying goodbye to Jake while Andrew went ahead and packed a bag. Bryce had gotten him a hotel room next door. Finally it came down to me and I just sighed before standing.

“We fucked up kid.” Was all I said before leaving the room. It was all I could say.