Status: Finished, check out the sequel
How Many Times Can You Race Around the Tree Before You Catch Me?
Selfless
The line went dead and I let my head fall back against the pillar.
The next few days were going to be hell for me but I didn’t have a choice. I was going to end up singing for a band that I honestly didn’t feel comfortable doing. My mind spent the next few minutes working out all the details. I would end up singing and everything would stay the same Bryce on guitars and sound, James on drums, Mark for Merch, and all the guys doing what they do. then I realized that someone had to stay behind. It couldn’t be a member of the crew because anything they didn’t do would fall to me. I couldn’t handle that when I had to be working on the band now. Unfortunately, out of all the guys it was going to have to be Mikey or Andrew.
With the plan in mind, I went back to the room. The guys didn’t love the plan, but they knew it was what was best. The only issue was deciding who would stay.
“If Mikey stays then you won’t have to do the acoustic sets. If Andrew stays, you’ll be in charge of the twitter and Instagram.” Nikki looked at me for the answer.
“I’m staying out of this. You guys decide. Someone call the bus.” I laid my head back. Today’s events had finally gotten to me.
“I’ll stay. It’s going to be easier for you to play bass over guitar. You’ll have more room to focus on vocals.” Andrew spoke up.
“Then it’s settled. Andrew will stay and fly with Jake back to Arizona and put him in Rehab. Jax will take over vocals and bass until they come back. Bryce will take over TM and Jax will work on damage control and working with the fans. After Warped we will decide what to do from there. Sound good?” Everyone gave a sad yes to Nikki, including myself.
“Then it’s time to leave,” I looked up at Mikey,”The bus is in the parking lot.” I took a deep breath and look at Jake’s lifeless body.
They each took their turn saying goodbye to Jake while Andrew went ahead and packed a bag. Bryce had gotten him a hotel room next door. Finally it came down to me and I just sighed before standing.
“We fucked up kid.” Was all I said before leaving the room. It was all I could say.
The guys stared at me but chose not to say anything as we all left. There was nothing but silence as we all walked to the bus. I let the guys handle the video business when we got there. Nikki and Mikey would handle it. They were the most liked behind Jake and the fans would probably accept it more that way. I went immediately to the bunk that had been mine. I saw that it had been un changed. My head hit the pillow and immediately I was out.
The next morning I was groggy when I woke up. Sleep didn’t really come to me since I was tossing and turning all night. I rolled out of bed with a groan and made my way to the front. The bus was still moving but the guys were all up front with their instruments. Bryce had the computer in front of them and they didn’t look happy.
“Did something else happen?” I opened the fridge to get a water bottle, forgetting that this wasn’t my bus. When I saw there wasn’t one I sighed and sat down at the booth.
“Well the fan response was less than what we wanted…” Mikey brought both his hands up to push back his hair while he laid back against the couch.
No one spoke after that. Bryce was clearly doing damage control the best he could on his computer. The others had probably been trying to practice before they had the bad news.
“How long until we’re at the practice space?”
“We’re about ten minutes from the venue.” Bryce replied.
“The venue?” I sat up looking at Bryce.
“Yeah we decided to forgo the practice space in order to get to the venue early. We can practice here.”
My anxiety spiked immediately at his words. I was about to go into something with no practice.I wanted to smack all of them. I settled for slamming my hands down on the table, making a few of them jump.
“Turn around. We’re going to the practice studio.” Bryce gave me an eye roll and went back to his computer.
“You guys can be pissed at me or whatever you want to be but I swear to god that if I am not involved in all decisions I will leave. I will not come back. This is ridiculous of you to even try and get by me with this.” I took a moment to look at each of them. All of them had their heads hung except Bryce who stared me down intensely with a snarky face.
“Turn the fuck around and go to the practice studio or I’ll get back on Motionless’ bus tonight and that’s the last time you’ll see me…” Nobody moved. I gave it a few minutes before I stood.
“Where we stop is your decision, but my ultimatum still stands.” I walked to the back lounge and immediately went back to sleep.
The next time I woke up, it was Nikki telling me we were at the practice space. I stood and followed him inside where they had already set up the gear. Bryce, James, and Mark with his video camera out were sitting against the wall while Mikey, Nikki, and Christian were all talking.
“Alright let’s do this.” They all stopped and looked at me.
“You’re not gonna warm up?” Bryce asked. I rolled my eyes at him.
“Look, I’m not gonna sugar coat this,” i threw my hands up and shrugged,”I don’t like this situation and I’m not saying any of you do, but I am not used to being on this side of things with as big as you guys are now. This isn’t show at the underground anymore. I’m not in front of less than a hundred people. If you want me to do this I need to be thrown into it. Give me the bass and run through the setlist. We’re gonna do that until we get it right. Then we’ll make any changes required.” I stared right at Mike knowing he would make the call of when to start. And he did after he took a deep breath.
We spent nearly four hours perfecting the set. Bryce sat there giving tips that were always aimed towards me. I knew I was the fill in here, but he was trying to make me mad. After we perfected the set we made a few adjustments on songs and I asked the guys to do one cover song. They weren’t too thrilled on it, but understood why I wanted to do that song. I had them practice it a couple of times with me.
“You are just like Ahren on stage….” James commented. Him and Mark had been working together to take some video of the first practice to make into a video they were going to post tonight. I rolled my eyes towards both of them.
“I look nothing like him.” Mark looked back down at his camera, going through some pictures before turning the viewer towards me.
Sure enough, I even saw the resemblance. It was somewhat of a reassurance for me to see that I had a natural stage presence even though it mimicked someone else.
“We need to take a break. You didn’t warm up and you’re gonna hurt yourself if you don’t from now on” Bryce stood and took his computer to leave. I stayed and started replying to emails.
“Jax” i looked up at Mikey.
“The guys and I had an idea and we would like to know if it would be ok with you.” He continued. I sat up to listen.
“We want to do a you now chat with the fans tonight. Possibly an acoustic set.” I gave them a blank stare while I tried to figure out what they wanted me to do exactly. Are they expecting me to just let the fans get to know me? Am I supposed to explain the situation?
“We understand if you’re not comfortable with it, but with how the fan base reacted in the beginning it may be the best way to fix things. If not, we can schedule an interview in a couple of days and give you time to adjust to playing shows of this scale. But we need to know now.” I sighed and looked back at my phone. I still needed to call Kevin and tell him the situation. I missed his call earlier and he’s sent me several emails. I also have been ignoring anyone that knew I left so unexpectedly. But this had to be fixed or else tomorrow was going to be a living nightmare. I had to address them now.
“I’ll do it,” They all looked relieved,”but I’m gonna do it by myself. Just a chat between me and the fans to explain what’s going on.” He sighed before looking at Nikki. He just shrugged.
“Then that’s what we’ll do. Do you want us here while you do it?” I shrugged.
“Let’s do it tonight, after we’re done with practice. I can do it in the back lounge.” He gave me a small smile and nodded.
“Alright then that’s it. Let’s go get some food and we’ll come back and work on some extra songs before we call it a night. Bryce is going to call Kevin to work on the situation. You can do what you need to do and we should be out of here by 8. I’ll post about it on the Social Media sites.” Everyone stood except for me.
“Are you not coming for food?” Christian asked. I shook my head.
“I have to make some calls and I’m going to work on some more songs.” They left silently and sadly.
I sighed and laid back against couch again. Did I want to work on stuff more or call the people I had to, well I didn’t want to do either right now but I had to.
“Hello?”
“Vocal warmups?” He chuckled.
Jeremy spent nearly half an hour with me teaching me proper warmups and giving me pointers. I probably couldn’t have done this without him.
“You sound amazing, there’s nothing for you to be worried about.” I took a deep breath and drank some water.
“That’s unfortunately not making me feel better.” He sighed.
“I know it’s not, but you need to remember that you’re doing this for a lot of people. You’re being so selfless right now. It’s inspirational what you’re doing.” I had a small, sad smile on my face at his words.
“Thanks Jeremy, look I’m gonna go and work on some more of this. Really though I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“Anytime Jax, have a goodnight.”
The guys came back soon after and we ran through extra songs like we discussed. I helped them pack up before taking some time to make a few calls.
“Hey.” He answered quietly.
“I’m so sorry I’ve been away…” He sighed
“It’s fine, there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m just excited to see you tomorrow.” I smiled, but it was gone when I realized that I would be leaving.
“Vinny, I’m moving back onto the other bus tomorrow…”
The next few days were going to be hell for me but I didn’t have a choice. I was going to end up singing for a band that I honestly didn’t feel comfortable doing. My mind spent the next few minutes working out all the details. I would end up singing and everything would stay the same Bryce on guitars and sound, James on drums, Mark for Merch, and all the guys doing what they do. then I realized that someone had to stay behind. It couldn’t be a member of the crew because anything they didn’t do would fall to me. I couldn’t handle that when I had to be working on the band now. Unfortunately, out of all the guys it was going to have to be Mikey or Andrew.
With the plan in mind, I went back to the room. The guys didn’t love the plan, but they knew it was what was best. The only issue was deciding who would stay.
“If Mikey stays then you won’t have to do the acoustic sets. If Andrew stays, you’ll be in charge of the twitter and Instagram.” Nikki looked at me for the answer.
“I’m staying out of this. You guys decide. Someone call the bus.” I laid my head back. Today’s events had finally gotten to me.
“I’ll stay. It’s going to be easier for you to play bass over guitar. You’ll have more room to focus on vocals.” Andrew spoke up.
“Then it’s settled. Andrew will stay and fly with Jake back to Arizona and put him in Rehab. Jax will take over vocals and bass until they come back. Bryce will take over TM and Jax will work on damage control and working with the fans. After Warped we will decide what to do from there. Sound good?” Everyone gave a sad yes to Nikki, including myself.
“Then it’s time to leave,” I looked up at Mikey,”The bus is in the parking lot.” I took a deep breath and look at Jake’s lifeless body.
They each took their turn saying goodbye to Jake while Andrew went ahead and packed a bag. Bryce had gotten him a hotel room next door. Finally it came down to me and I just sighed before standing.
“We fucked up kid.” Was all I said before leaving the room. It was all I could say.
The guys stared at me but chose not to say anything as we all left. There was nothing but silence as we all walked to the bus. I let the guys handle the video business when we got there. Nikki and Mikey would handle it. They were the most liked behind Jake and the fans would probably accept it more that way. I went immediately to the bunk that had been mine. I saw that it had been un changed. My head hit the pillow and immediately I was out.
The next morning I was groggy when I woke up. Sleep didn’t really come to me since I was tossing and turning all night. I rolled out of bed with a groan and made my way to the front. The bus was still moving but the guys were all up front with their instruments. Bryce had the computer in front of them and they didn’t look happy.
“Did something else happen?” I opened the fridge to get a water bottle, forgetting that this wasn’t my bus. When I saw there wasn’t one I sighed and sat down at the booth.
“Well the fan response was less than what we wanted…” Mikey brought both his hands up to push back his hair while he laid back against the couch.
No one spoke after that. Bryce was clearly doing damage control the best he could on his computer. The others had probably been trying to practice before they had the bad news.
“How long until we’re at the practice space?”
“We’re about ten minutes from the venue.” Bryce replied.
“The venue?” I sat up looking at Bryce.
“Yeah we decided to forgo the practice space in order to get to the venue early. We can practice here.”
My anxiety spiked immediately at his words. I was about to go into something with no practice.I wanted to smack all of them. I settled for slamming my hands down on the table, making a few of them jump.
“Turn around. We’re going to the practice studio.” Bryce gave me an eye roll and went back to his computer.
“You guys can be pissed at me or whatever you want to be but I swear to god that if I am not involved in all decisions I will leave. I will not come back. This is ridiculous of you to even try and get by me with this.” I took a moment to look at each of them. All of them had their heads hung except Bryce who stared me down intensely with a snarky face.
“Turn the fuck around and go to the practice studio or I’ll get back on Motionless’ bus tonight and that’s the last time you’ll see me…” Nobody moved. I gave it a few minutes before I stood.
“Where we stop is your decision, but my ultimatum still stands.” I walked to the back lounge and immediately went back to sleep.
The next time I woke up, it was Nikki telling me we were at the practice space. I stood and followed him inside where they had already set up the gear. Bryce, James, and Mark with his video camera out were sitting against the wall while Mikey, Nikki, and Christian were all talking.
“Alright let’s do this.” They all stopped and looked at me.
“You’re not gonna warm up?” Bryce asked. I rolled my eyes at him.
“Look, I’m not gonna sugar coat this,” i threw my hands up and shrugged,”I don’t like this situation and I’m not saying any of you do, but I am not used to being on this side of things with as big as you guys are now. This isn’t show at the underground anymore. I’m not in front of less than a hundred people. If you want me to do this I need to be thrown into it. Give me the bass and run through the setlist. We’re gonna do that until we get it right. Then we’ll make any changes required.” I stared right at Mike knowing he would make the call of when to start. And he did after he took a deep breath.
We spent nearly four hours perfecting the set. Bryce sat there giving tips that were always aimed towards me. I knew I was the fill in here, but he was trying to make me mad. After we perfected the set we made a few adjustments on songs and I asked the guys to do one cover song. They weren’t too thrilled on it, but understood why I wanted to do that song. I had them practice it a couple of times with me.
“You are just like Ahren on stage….” James commented. Him and Mark had been working together to take some video of the first practice to make into a video they were going to post tonight. I rolled my eyes towards both of them.
“I look nothing like him.” Mark looked back down at his camera, going through some pictures before turning the viewer towards me.
Sure enough, I even saw the resemblance. It was somewhat of a reassurance for me to see that I had a natural stage presence even though it mimicked someone else.
“We need to take a break. You didn’t warm up and you’re gonna hurt yourself if you don’t from now on” Bryce stood and took his computer to leave. I stayed and started replying to emails.
“Jax” i looked up at Mikey.
“The guys and I had an idea and we would like to know if it would be ok with you.” He continued. I sat up to listen.
“We want to do a you now chat with the fans tonight. Possibly an acoustic set.” I gave them a blank stare while I tried to figure out what they wanted me to do exactly. Are they expecting me to just let the fans get to know me? Am I supposed to explain the situation?
“We understand if you’re not comfortable with it, but with how the fan base reacted in the beginning it may be the best way to fix things. If not, we can schedule an interview in a couple of days and give you time to adjust to playing shows of this scale. But we need to know now.” I sighed and looked back at my phone. I still needed to call Kevin and tell him the situation. I missed his call earlier and he’s sent me several emails. I also have been ignoring anyone that knew I left so unexpectedly. But this had to be fixed or else tomorrow was going to be a living nightmare. I had to address them now.
“I’ll do it,” They all looked relieved,”but I’m gonna do it by myself. Just a chat between me and the fans to explain what’s going on.” He sighed before looking at Nikki. He just shrugged.
“Then that’s what we’ll do. Do you want us here while you do it?” I shrugged.
“Let’s do it tonight, after we’re done with practice. I can do it in the back lounge.” He gave me a small smile and nodded.
“Alright then that’s it. Let’s go get some food and we’ll come back and work on some extra songs before we call it a night. Bryce is going to call Kevin to work on the situation. You can do what you need to do and we should be out of here by 8. I’ll post about it on the Social Media sites.” Everyone stood except for me.
“Are you not coming for food?” Christian asked. I shook my head.
“I have to make some calls and I’m going to work on some more songs.” They left silently and sadly.
I sighed and laid back against couch again. Did I want to work on stuff more or call the people I had to, well I didn’t want to do either right now but I had to.
“Hello?”
“Vocal warmups?” He chuckled.
Jeremy spent nearly half an hour with me teaching me proper warmups and giving me pointers. I probably couldn’t have done this without him.
“You sound amazing, there’s nothing for you to be worried about.” I took a deep breath and drank some water.
“That’s unfortunately not making me feel better.” He sighed.
“I know it’s not, but you need to remember that you’re doing this for a lot of people. You’re being so selfless right now. It’s inspirational what you’re doing.” I had a small, sad smile on my face at his words.
“Thanks Jeremy, look I’m gonna go and work on some more of this. Really though I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“Anytime Jax, have a goodnight.”
The guys came back soon after and we ran through extra songs like we discussed. I helped them pack up before taking some time to make a few calls.
“Hey.” He answered quietly.
“I’m so sorry I’ve been away…” He sighed
“It’s fine, there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m just excited to see you tomorrow.” I smiled, but it was gone when I realized that I would be leaving.
“Vinny, I’m moving back onto the other bus tomorrow…”