Status: Finished
Flying
01
The wind rushes through your hair you never knew wind could pass by this fast.... it's only for a moment but it feels like forever, then before you know it, it's all over.
Most people when looking over the edge of a tall building, or down into a canyon feel a wave of panic at being so high. I feel giddy, but not the same type of giddy when you're excited, I guess nervous.
If only you could understand my thoughts, I've never been good at vocalizing my thoughts or really good at anything.
I smile everyday put on my makeup in the mirror and make sure I look picture perfect. I get good grades. Still I am insignificant, I'm sure no one notices. Maybe I'm just to caught up in my own world.
I've been alone even when I'm surrounded by my crowd of "friends". Oh if only they knew the real me, the disgust on their faces and cruel words would beat me down.... I don't need them to beat me down I do that enough myself.
So I after years of trying to find something to kill the monster inside me. Pills, razors, alcohol, nothing works, for a while sure it shuts up the beast, but then when I come back to reality it's always there. I feel like I'm taking up too much space my life is worthless, but I'm so far gone there is no turning back.
So going back to my original thought. When looking over the edge of a building I feel giddy, nervousness, what would it be like to fly? It makes you free. I want to die free, I want to feel free, instead of caged up, in this body I hate so much, this mind that never turns off.
So today I learned to fly, I sat on the edge contemplating before I decided I would try for once in my life.
The wind rushed through my hair so fast, filling my lungs so much that I could barely breath, and in the moments that felt like forever it was over too soon.
Most people when looking over the edge of a tall building, or down into a canyon feel a wave of panic at being so high. I feel giddy, but not the same type of giddy when you're excited, I guess nervous.
If only you could understand my thoughts, I've never been good at vocalizing my thoughts or really good at anything.
I smile everyday put on my makeup in the mirror and make sure I look picture perfect. I get good grades. Still I am insignificant, I'm sure no one notices. Maybe I'm just to caught up in my own world.
I've been alone even when I'm surrounded by my crowd of "friends". Oh if only they knew the real me, the disgust on their faces and cruel words would beat me down.... I don't need them to beat me down I do that enough myself.
So I after years of trying to find something to kill the monster inside me. Pills, razors, alcohol, nothing works, for a while sure it shuts up the beast, but then when I come back to reality it's always there. I feel like I'm taking up too much space my life is worthless, but I'm so far gone there is no turning back.
So going back to my original thought. When looking over the edge of a building I feel giddy, nervousness, what would it be like to fly? It makes you free. I want to die free, I want to feel free, instead of caged up, in this body I hate so much, this mind that never turns off.
So today I learned to fly, I sat on the edge contemplating before I decided I would try for once in my life.
The wind rushed through my hair so fast, filling my lungs so much that I could barely breath, and in the moments that felt like forever it was over too soon.
♠ ♠ ♠
Was listening to a song and felt like writing this.