So I Need You

"Hey," I said softly, getting down on my knees. "I'm sorry I haven't come in a while, things have gotten a little, busy. I met this guy, but no, we're nothing more than friends. He's probably the most loyal friend I've had, beside Amber of course. He's the only guy I've met who actually listens when I talk, which I have to say, is particularly refreshing. I met him about three weeks ago, and I have to say, that since then he's easily become my best friend. I know you think I'm crazy, and that I'm acting out of the ordinary, but that's just the thing...it's him that does this to me. He makes me feel crazy, and I like it."

I sighed, moving closer to the stone. "Daddy's only gotten worse," I said solemnly, "and I can tell Mom is really scared. She wants to leave Justin, I know it, but she tries to convince herself otherwise. She still thinks Dad is just grieving, but I know he's not turning back now. You drove him so crazy when you were alive, I guess some things never change."

I laughed lightly, tracing my hand alone the words engraved on the tombstone. "I really miss you," I sighed, "sometimes I miss you so much, it hurts to think about you. I don't want to be like that though, because we did have good times, and I don't want to forget them." I checked my surroundings, as panic began to rise in me, I was crying.

"Oh God, I wish you'd never left," I whimpered, "how could you just go like that? You promised you'd come home, we were supposed to pick out mom's birthday gift together that day. I remember being so mad at you, for being home late. Then we got the call..." I shuddered to think of the memory, as I wiped away the few tears I'd unwillingly let fall.

"I need to go," I sighed disappointedly, "I really wish I could stay. I mean, I don't know why people think cemeteries are so scary, I always feel at peace when I'm here. But that could have to do with the fact that I'm closer to you. I hope you're still watching, I know I've disappointed you. I love you Justin, and I'll see you soon. Maybe with someone new in the future."

I smiled warmly, pulling a flower from the ground, and laying it tenderly across his grave. I stole one last glance before turning on my heel, and walking away.

I pulled my phone from my pocket, letting my thumb roll over the numbers. It was a Saturday night and I was in no mood to go home, especially not to what was awaiting me. I searched through my phone book, contemplating between Joe and Amber's company.

On one hand, Amber could use a break from me, and just spend some time alone with Jake. But, on the other hand, I hadn't really 'hung out' with her in two weeks.

I nodded my head, hitting the talk button. "Hey."

"Hey," I greeted, "can you pick me up near the Victoria church? I wandered off, and I really don't want to go home."

►►►►

"How about the time when Emmy told Joe this his goldfish drown?" Nicholas exclaimed, slapping his knee from laughter.

"That wasn't funny!" Joe protested, "The image of him flopping in my hand scarred me for life!"

"It was too funny," Emmy laughed, "I mean Joe, I was only six and I knew fish couldn't drown! You were too easy to fool."

"Yeah, I was," Joe smirked, "but now I'm the prank master, and you know it."

"Yes Joe, there's no denying it," the beautiful teenage girl said, turning to face me. 'No he isn't,' she mouthed.

I covered my mouth, trying to suppress a laugh. "Wow, it's so late," Kevin, the oldest Jonas, announced suddenly, "I'm going to bed," he yawned, one hand laying on his stomach, the other running through his hair, "night guys."

"Night," the group of us said in unison.

"It is getting late," Nick yawned.

"It's only half past 12," Joe shrugged.

"I should probably get you home though," Nick interjected, taking Emmy's hand.

They made their way to the end of the staircase until Emmy stopped walking, "That's OK," she nodded, "I can walk myself Nick."

"No way," he replied matter-of-factly, "I'm walking you. Do you actually think I'd let my girl walk alone this late at night?"

She shrugged, blushing momentarily.

"Well, I wouldn't," he smiled, pulling her into him.

She wrapped her arms around his torso, letting her head rest against his chest. "I love you," she said so softly, it was barely audible.

He rested his hands on her hips, his face hidden as he planted kisses along her cheek. "I love you too baby."

I watched in awe, as the two of them seemed suddenly unaware of their surroundings, completely lost in each other. "Beth," Joe said, waving a hand in front of my face.

I turned to face his arrogant smirk. "What?" I asked defensively.

He cocked his eyebrow, glancing towards Nick and Emmy. "Aren't they cute?" he mocked.

I punched him playfully in the stomach, "Oh shut up!"

We sat there alone, the silence ringing loudly around us. "I should get you home," Joe decided, "I doubt your parents will appreciate me bringing you back so late."

I nodded, ignoring the aching pain he'd just set off inside of me. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Are you OK?" he asked, touching my arm lightly.

"Y-yeah," I stammered, but this time the feeling erupting inside of me was far from sadness.

"Are you sure?" he went on, "You don't seem it."

"No, I'm fine," I lied, trying to ignore the sudden goosebumps erupting over my body, "really, stop worrying."

He smiledbeautifully, glancing at his watch. "Yeah, your dad might just kill me, let's go."

I nodded, allowing him to take my hand. He could take me anywhere.

►►►►

"No," I protested, putting my hand to his chest.

"Why not?" he asked, confusion written across his perfect features.

"Uh- my dad, he'll probably be interrogating me, it would be best if he didn't see you."

He smirked knowingly, "Well, let me at least get the door for you," he argued.

"No really," I said sternly, "I have to go. Thanks for the ride, and everything Joe."

"Of course," he breathed. "I'll see you Monday, alright."

"Yeah," I smiled, "goodnight."

"Hey," he said softly, as I started climbing out of the car. He pulled me towards him, so my faces was only inches away. "Good night," he smiled, his lips brushing my cheek softly.

I nodded, no words coming to me as I climbed out of the car, trying desperately to catch my breath.