So I Need You

Joe was leaving, tomorrow.

That was the only thing racing through my mind as I ran, the strong wind fighting against me. I hadn't taken a second to think things over, to doubt myself. I needed him, to be with him, and nothing in the world would stop me at that moment.

Nothing else mattered.

Not the fact that I was a wreck, that my hair was disheveled, or that my makeup was running. As long as I had him, and he knew that he had me. There was nothing else.

My heart raced as I approached his front door, my body trembling slightly. I was sobbing, I was a mess, and it was completely out of my control. I needed him to make it better, he was the only one who knew how.

I knocked on the door, the anticipation building up inside of me. "Come on," I muttered impatiently.

Moments later the door swung open, revealing Joe. I took in every inch of him, every little detail, every little thing I needed to remember. There was nothing I would ever miss more. He was so beautiful, so breathtakingly beautiful.

"Beth?" he said softly, but quizzically.

I nodded, the tears never ceasing. They continued to fall freely, rolling off my cheeks, "Joe," I whispered shakily.

"Come here," he breathed, pulling my body into his.

My face fell into his chest, as I shivered from his touch. "I couldn't take it," I sobbed, "I j-just couldn't."

"Come on," he said lightly, closing the door behind us.

He took my hand, leading me upstairs to his room. I looked around, the tears only coming quicker now. All around the room were clothes, and a suitcase packed and ready to go. He was leaving me, and I could barely stand it.

I turned away from the sight, falling into his arms again. "I w-was so scared," I confessed, "they were screaming s-so loud, and I-I-"

"Hey, it's OK," he cooed, "I've got you."

I breathed heavily, pulling away to meet his gaze. "What am I going to do when you're gone?" I asked helplessly.

His expression was almost pained as he took my face gently, tracing my jawline with his thumb. "You'll be fine without me Beth, you always said you didn't need me."

I shook my head stubbornly, "I lied."

He set his eyes downcast, not meeting my gaze. "Joe," I whispered, my voice finally easing, "Joe I was stupid, I was scared to admit it and now I just, I can't believe you're leaving."

He pulled away, sighing heavily, as he took a seat on the bed. I watched him tentatively as his head fell into his hands, his expression completely unreadable. "Joe?" I asked cautiously.

He didn't respond, he merely sat there, deep in thought.

I approached him slowly, sitting down beside him. "Joe, please, talk to me," I pleaded, "you're leaving tomorrow, and I just needed to see you. Things got so crazy at home, like they always do, but you...you make it all seem like nothing."

He looked up, confusion written across his features.

"God, it makes no sense, I know," I replied aggravated. "I wish I could explain this Joe, but I can't. You just need to trust me on this one, you need to believe me. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, no matter what happens."

His eyes widened slightly, as I poured my soul out to him. "Nothing was worth fighting for, before you found me. Nothing mattered, but you do. I just want you to know that Joe, I need you to know it...you're all I have."

"Beth-" he sighed.

"No," I interjected, "please just hear me out, OK? Just listen to what I have to say, as ridiculous as it may sound, it's all I am sure of. You're the only thing in my life that makes sense. And I just...I can't really...Joe there's nothing-Joe?"

My words got caught in my throat, as Joe's hand found it's way to the nape of my neck, holding me firmly, his other hand laying on my thigh. He was so incredibly close, his breath grazed across my cheek as he brought his face closer to mine.

My mind was racing furiously, though it felt like the world around me was coming to a halt. All the heat in my body was rushing the exact places where his fingers lay, sending shocks through me. It was electrifying, and frightening and yet it was all that I wanted.

There in that moment, being with him, felt so right. It was supposed to be that way.

My eyes fluttered as it seemed to take forever for his lips to meet mine. Everything around us, and outside the walls we'd put up together, was so incredibly incoherent. There was nothing that mattered, nothing but me and him.

"Joe..." I breathed, my voice trailing.

His lips found mine slowly, burning with desire, lust and passion. It was everything we'd held back, all the angst, all the temptation, pouring out into one single kiss.

I ran my hands through his hair, keeping him close at all measures. His lips continually burning against mine, sending the most exhilarating feeling through my body. There was nothing I would ever want or understand more than how perfectly the two of us collided.

His hands found my shoulders, pushing me down lightly. My head fell back onto his pillow as the weight of his body weighed in on mine. His hands trailed along my sides, resting on my hips.

In one swift movement, his hands found their way to the buckle of my pants, undoing them hastily. I arched my back, easing the process as he slid them off my body. I took the hem of his shirt, pulling it hungrily over his head.

His lips burned my skin, trailing kisses along every bared surface of my body. It felt so right, yet so incredibly wrong. I knew of the promises he'd made. "Joe," I gasped lightly. It was truly painful to have to stop him, when there was nothing I wanted more at that moment.

But that was just it, I loved him too much to let it happen.

"Joe, don't," I whispered breathlessly, taking his hands firmly in mine.

His dark eyes met mine, looking half concerned. "Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head, pressing my lips against the tip of his fingers. "No you didn't," I whispered, "but if we continue, you'll be hurting yourself."

He looked around for a moment, realization dawning on him. "I would be, wouldn't I?" he replied regretfully.

I nodded, sitting up slowly. He crawled over, his lips meeting mine just once more. "Thank you," he said softly, his forehead leaning against mine.

My heart was beating wildly, I could never get enough of the rush he gave me.

He sighed heavily, placing himself directly beside me. I laid my head against his shoulder, basking in the silence. Our feelings had gone unspoken. They hadn't been put into words, but instead demonstrated through our actions. All of our desires.

I glanced over at him, my heart welling with adoration. His head was tilted back against the headboard, his eyes shut peacefully. Every inch of him was so indescribably beautiful, and he mine.

"Beth, Beth wake up!"

I opened my eyes to the harsh sunlight pouring through Joe's bedroom windows. I sat up instantly, panic rising in me. "We fell asleep," Joe whispered, trying to suppress a laugh.

My eyes widened, "What!"

I jumped from the bed, pulling my clothes over my body quickly. If Joe's parents knew, he would be in so much trouble. "What am I going to say for myself?" I asked hysterically.

He smiled, coming around the bed to face me. "Don't worry, Nick invited Emmy over. She wanted to be here when we left, we'll just say you both came together."

My heart sank, it seemed to have all slipped my mind...he was leaving.

He noticed my expression, and his face fell, mirroring mine. "I know things are going to be hard Beth, but I promise I'll call you all the time and nothing is going to change. It's never going to change."

I nodded, hugging his body closely. There were so many things I wanted to do, cry, kiss him, beg him to stay. But for now, just having him near would suffice, I would embrace it.

There was a rap on the door, and moments later Nick walked through.

"Joe," he sighed, "it's time to go man."

He looked over at his brother, nodding solemnly. "I'll be down in a second."

He shut the door, allowing us to another moment alone. "Come on," I smiled bitterly, "I'll help you with your bags."

Six of us stood outside the Jonas household, a black bus parked outside and ready to go. "Well, this is it," Mr. Jonas smiled. "Beth, always a pleasure. I hope to see you soon."

I smiled, shaking hands with Mr. and Mrs. Jonas, as they boarded onto the bus, all the luggage already stowed inside. One by one they mounted it, each second closer to the moment when Joe would disappear through the revolving doors with them.

Emmy stood a few feet away, hugging Nick tightly. The both of them were crying, as Nick stroked her back gently. "I'll call you every night," he smiled, placing his finger under her chin delicately.

She nodded, both of her hands finding the back of head as she pressed her lips against his. "I love you," she said lightly, "good luck."

He smiled, but his eyes truly looked saddened as he too mounted the bus.

And then, there was one...

I turned to Joe, my hands wrapped protectively around my body. "So this is it," I shrugged, "I'll miss you Joe, but I know you'll do amazing."

With one hand tangled in my hair, and the other holding my face gently, his lips met mine just one last time. It was quick, and it hurt to pull away, but it sent my heart racing nonetheless.

"Goodbye Joe," I smiled meekly.

"Bye," he sighed, and he turned away trudging slowly towards the bus.

My heart was tearing to pieces as I watched him walk away.

"Beth, wait," he said suddenly, cutting into my thoughts.

I looked over at him in confusion as he rushed back to me. "There's something I want to give you."

I remained silent, as he lifted my hand, sliding a silver ring onto my ring finger. "You have me," he whispered dangerously low, "you have all of me."