So I Need You

"Elizabeth Courtney Jensen, date of birth: November 6th, 1989. Daughter of Jeffrey and Marina Jensen, it says here she has a deceased brother, as well as a long line of hereditary cardiovascular malfunctions. That could explain the immediate reaction to the-"

"Beth! Her eyes are opening, she's- look at her you stupid fool! Help her! She's trying to say something, Beth can you hear me?"

"Miss, we'll have to ask you to leave if you do not settle down! Miss Jensen needs her rest, and you shouldn't even be here in the first place, you aren't a family member."

"Does it look like she has any family that cares? I might not be family, but I'm as good as, now tell me why she's not awake! She needs to wake up, you don't understand!"

"Eva, get her out of here, she might shock the patient."

"No! No, I'll stop you just...please-" her voice stopped as sobs sounded through, "she hasn't opened her eyes yet, I'm so scared."

"She's going to be fine sweetie, lucky for you. We can't identify exactly what caused this, but we have a general idea, and luckily enough it wasn't fatal for your friend. We were able to get the drug out of her. Because of how you dealt with it in the first place, we were able to pump her stomach in time. You just need to relax, alright? She doesn't need any more trauma when she finally wakes."

She emitted a small sob, trying with great effort to silence herself.

"Now," the male voice continued, "if you don't mind, I need you to answer a few questions."

"Sure," Emmy sniffed, "whatever I can do."

"Were you with the patient upon entering the house?"

"No," she replied meekly. "She wasn't supposed to be there. She has a drinking problem, but it had been getting better! I-I don't know why she did this, she's never drank so much-"

"Alcohol didn't do this to her," the doctor cut in, "we believe some type of drug facilitated for sexual assault was used, in this case it seems there was no attempt or perhaps the attacker just wasn't successful."

"What?"

"A date rape pill," he replied, matter of factly. "We believe your friend's beverage was spiked, and so she could have consumed but a cup, if the pill got into her system the effect occurs."

"That bastard!" she seethed, setting off into another round of sobs. "I swear the next time I see him, I'll kill him-"

"Miss Crowther, please!" he snapped, "I understand you're distressed, but adding your paranoia to the patient's will only worsen the situation!"

All went quiet again, as I stirred uncomfortably. My eyes fluttered open, squinting at the harshness of the light. The room was impeccably clean, like most hospitals were. "Em?" I asked in confusion.

"Beth," she breathed in relief, jumping up from her chair. "Oh Beth, are you OK? You gave us such a scare! I-I couldn't believe it, I thought we'd lost you, I'm just so glad you're OK."

"What happened?"

"Miss Jensen, hello," an aged man greeted warmly, "I'm Dr. Johnson. This is my assistant Eva, she's been helping you make a full recovery. Now Elizabeth, it is very crucial that you rest."

"I'm well rested," I replied, sitting up slightly.

"Really, I think Miss Crowther should, perhaps step out for a while-"

"How long have I been out?" I asked, cutting in.

"Eighteen hours."

My eyes widened in disbelief. On one hand, twelve hours seemed like a great deal of time. On the other hand, the events of the prior night felt like they had taken place weeks ago, in another time of my life. "I recommend that you take it easy for a while, there is no permanent damage, but I could imagine you're feeling physically unstable right now."

I shrugged, "I'd really just like to talk to my friend if that's possible, and have my things returned. Is it necessary to be here? I feel fine, can't I go home?"

"You can go home later on tonight if you wish, however I suggest staying overnight. We're monitoring your heart's behavior-"

"I'm ready to go home," I insisted.

He didn't understand, he couldn't possibly. I wasn't just another one of those teenagers who drank for please, who had no limits. Not anymore. I had vowed to change, and even though I had a set back, I wasn't about to let that ruin anything. I had tried so hard, I'd opened up and I'd found the only thing that ever mattered to me.

I couldn't lose him, I was determined never to let him down again.

"Very well Miss Jensen, Eva will gather your belongings. We'll have to run a few more tests, but we can have a cab pick you up when we're done."

I nodded lightly, waiting for them to exit the room.

The door shut behind them and all was silent in the hospital room. I shifted uncomfortably in my robe, my eyes burning with tears. "I'm sorry," I said quietly.

Emmy sat in a chair at my bedside, her eyes looking red and tired. Her usual perfect, dark curls were disheveled. She reminded me so much of Amber, and all the times I'd woken up to her fearful eyes peering down on me.

"Y-You know, I'd be really angry if I hadn't been so scared," she breathe shakily.

I looked down, a silence enveloping us awkwardly. "I mean why would you- what possessed you? You were doing so good and you just, you broke Joe's heart Beth."

I shut my eyes tightly, tears rolling down my cheeks excessively. "I didn't mean to," I sobbed lightly, "I promise I'll stop, I promise just don't tell Joe about this, please Em. I swear I didn't mean for this to happen, and I'll change, I'll never do it again. Joe stood by me through everything, and if he knew, he'd hate me, and I don't know what I'd do if that happened."

I mulled things over in my mind, trying to picture a world where Joe hadn't come and saved me. If it wasn't for him, I might not have had all the chances to get back on my feet again. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be in this position, having to worry about my actions.

He made me want to live, he made me want to change. He made me understand love, and what it was worth.

Her eyes looked pained as she glanced up to meet my gaze.

Nothing good could possibly come out of that look. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach, as I awaited my terrible fate. Something was wrong, something was terribly wrong. I looked down at my fumbling hands, the heart wrenching guilt eating at me.

"Oh my God!" I screamed, lifting the blankets frantically. The heart rate monitor set off, beeping loudly, the pace growing quicker as I panicked.

The ring was gone.

Emmy put her head in her hands, her shoulders hitching up and down as she sobbed.

"Emmy, where did it go?" I begged, tears falling as I tried to tear the IV's out of my skin. I was restless and aggravated. "I can't believe I lost it, Joe trusted me! How could I be so stupid, what's wrong with me?"

I buried my head in the pillow, my body literally convulsing with sobs. It had gone beyond one of my stupid mistakes this time. This time, I knew I'd caused damage to my life, and to those I loved. Everything felt so unreal. I wanted to start over, no matter what the cost. I wanted to go back to the moment when I promised Joe that I'd changed, this time I wanted it to be true.

I couldn't understand how things had gone so wrong. Three and a half weeks I had endured, and it was enough for me to lose myself. I was a mistake, a burden to everyone in my life. My own parents wanted nothing to do with me, and there was nothing I could do to blame them.

"You didn't lose it," Emmy said suddenly, her lip trembling threateningly.

I waited for her to continue, to make sense of this. Couldn't she understand what this meant? Joe's ring was gone. It had symbolized so much more than his promise to God, but his promise to me. Our promise to never let our bond falter, to do all we could to make things work.

I knew he loved me too, nothing else could explain it, and I ruined that.

"Joe was here," she stated solemnly, "but you wouldn't wake."

"What?" I gasped, my heart racing furiously.

"You didn't lose the ring Beth!" she cried, no longer able to keep from breaking down. "He took it, Joe took his ring. I'm so sorry Beth, I tried to get through to him, but he was so angry!"

My body went limp, I was too shocked to cry, to hurt yet. But it would hit me, and I knew that when it did, I would fall apart.

"He called me, asking for you. He s-said he was in town, and that he n-needed to see you! I didn't want to lie, so I told him Beth and he j-just, he rushed over here! When the doctor explained to him what happened, he asked me why you were drinking a-and-"

I didn't need to hear the rest, none of it mattered. Joe was gone, I'd let him go. The one thing in my life worth fighting for, had been taken away. How was I supposed to live?

"I told him the truth, and he didn't say a word! I was s-so scared, and then Nick he just told me to leave him alone with you. Beth I've never seen him that way, never in my life. He looked so destroyed, so defeated. He walked out of the room and that's when I noticed the ring, I tried to get through to him but he wouldn't hear it!"

I nodded, my whole body completely numb.

"Why was he back?" I asked dully.

At this her whole demeanor fell. She couldn't pretend to be OK anymore, not when there was something so obviously wrong. "They c-came back to say goodbye," she managed to gasp, her head falling into her hands, "the tour was extended Beth, they'll be gone for six months."

I shut my eyes tight, listening to her pained voice.

"He's gone," I said dangerously low, "I lost him."

Emmy let out a small sob, "I'm so sorry Beth, I know how much you love him...I-I know he loves you too, but he couldn't watch this anymore. It was killing him."

"He's gone," I repeated numbly, a harsh laugh escaping my lips.

And that was it, he was out of my life. The only that had ever mattered to me was gone. I couldn't breathe or speak or think. Nothing could ever surmount to the pain I was feeling in that moment. Not the mind blowing headache or the sharp pains running through my body.
In that moment, there was no room for any other pain, but that of my heart being torn right out of me. As much as I tried to be angry at him for leaving me, I couldn't find the strength.

All I knew, was the Joe was gone for good.

And he'd taken my heart with him.