Before the Storm

"Look right down the center of the barrel. Don't tense up, and don't lock your elbows. Keep good form, and right before you pull the trigger, hold your breath." Zack instructed softly into my ear.

I nodded my head, replaying his instructions in my head as I concentrated as hard as I could to hit my target; An old metal soup can that we found lying on the side of the road. I squinted my eyes slightly in an attempt to better see the target that was sitting on a large boulder about ten yards away. I heard the slight breeze whistling past my ears, and I held my breath when I was certain I had the target lined up. I pulled the trigger.

I heard the bullet whiz through the air and keep on going until it was out of ear shot, completely missing the can. I let my arms fall down to my side and I sighed with defeat, feeling the irritation and embarrassment of missing again well up in the pit of my stomach. I only had two of my six shots left, and I hadn't hit the target once.

Zack was over next to Madisen telling her basically the same thing he had told me, except he had a smile on his face because she was actually hitting her targets. She had missed a couple times at first, but quickly got the hang of it and hadn't missed a single one since.

She aimed the gun once again, steadying herself before pulling the trigger. The bullet shot out with a loud crack, and not even a second later, the plastic bottle she had been aiming at toppled down to the dirt.

"Fantastic job, Madisen." Zack congratulated. "You're a real natural."

She looked on at him with that stupid, goofy grin that she always had towards him and followed him with her eyes as he ran over to the bottle and placed it back up onto the boulder next to the can that I had yet to hit. I rolled my eyes and raised my gun back up after he had ran back over and tried aiming once more.

"C'mon, Jaycee. You can do it!" Madisen chirped. I knew she was just trying to be supportive and encouraging, but she was actually doing the opposite. She was beginning to piss me off, and all I wanted to do was leave.

I pulled the trigger again and watched as the can stayed perched entirely in it's spot, not a single scratch on it. I groaned out in frustration and threw my head back, beginning to walk around in tiny circles.

"You're not concentrating." Zack quirked.

"Yes I am!" I shot back, feeling on the verge of tears from the frustration.

"Apparently not! If you were, you woulda been hittin' that target every single time." He said, and began walking back over to me. "Now you got one shot left, let's make it count."

He grabbed my shoulders and turned me so that I was facing the target again. He stood behind me and raised my arms up straight so that I was pointing directly at the target. He bent my arms so there was a slight bend at my elbows, and straightened me out perfectly so that I could hit the target.

"Alright. Now, just breathe." He instructed.

I felt both his and Madisen's eyes on me, and I wished that they both would just disappear for the moment. Their stares were only making me more nervous, and that ultimately led into me pulling the trigger on my last and final shot, and missing.

"This is bullshit." I mumbled to myself.

"It's okay, Jay. There's always next time." Zack said sympathetically. I shook my head, clicking the safety on and shoving the gun back into his hand.

"Yeah right. It was a damn surprise that you even agreed to it this time!" I growled, turning on my heel and beginning to storm off back towards the road where the SUV was.

"Hey, Jaycee!" I heard him call, and begin to jog up behind me to catch up. I felt him place his hand on my shoulder and stop me in my tracks.

"What?!" I whirled around to face him, eyes ablaze.

"Ya can't just storm off like that." He said. His eyes were as wide as saucers and he had the look of fear and anger mixed together on his features.

"Why not?" I asked, my voice increasing in volume.

"Because, what if you storm off somewhere 'nd get lost? What if you wander into a herd of walkers? What if I can't find you?" He asked, voice sounding sincere. "I can't let anythin' happen to ya."

"Yeah, because you were so for me learnin' to shoot so that I could defend myself." I stated, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning all my weight onto one leg. He looked down at the ground momentarily, and I began again. "But ya know what, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm a shitty shot, 'nd we're wasting our time."

"You can always get better." He said, and tried to put his hand back on my shoulder, but I shrugged away from him.

"It's no use." I glanced behind him and I saw Madisen looking over at the two of us in concern, her right arm crossed over her abdomen and grasping onto her left elbow. "Why don't you just go back to your prized student."

Zack opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again as I turned and began walking away from him again, heading for the car. I didn't want to be around anybody or anything right now.

I just wanted to go home. And not back to the house we stayed in last night. I meant my house; My home.



We arrived back at the house and brought all our stuff back in. We had taken everything we had with us, just in case the place had gotten overrun while we were gone or raiders had moved in and tried taking what was ours. I was still in a pretty foul mood as I dropped the bags on the floor, not caring where they went and ran up the stairs.

I went into the first room that saw, which was the master bedroom, and slammed the door behind me. I paced around the room for a few minutes, running my fingers through my hair now and then. I wanted to pull my hair out. I wanted to scream, to yell, to cry. Anything. I threw myself onto the bed and pressed my face into one of the pillows, letting a very loud and angst filled scream bellow into the fabric.

I felt the all too familiar feeling of tears begin to sting at the backs of my eyes before they started falling freely, immediately absorbing into the pillow case. My chest was heaving and my body was shaking from the sobs, but I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to. It was coming full force.

I heard the bedroom door open up behind me and I looked back to see Zack step inside, a pained and sympathetic look on his face. He closed the door behind him, leaving it cracked open just a bit before walking slowly towards me and sitting on the edge of the bed.

I just buried my face back into the pillow, suddenly feeling embarrassed for crying in front of my older brother. He stayed silent for a few minutes, but then I heard him take a deep breath in before speaking.

"I'm sorry, Jay." He croaked out. I lifted my head up from the pillow once more and looked over at him.

"For what?"

He shrugged his shoulders and moved himself so that he was completely on the bed, leaning back against the head board. "Everything, I suppose. Mainly for treatin' ya how I have been. Madisen, too."

I sat myself up and turned so I was also leaning against the head board and pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging my arms around them. I stared on at him through watery eyes, waiting for him to continue.

"I just wanted to keep you safe. I'm supposed to be the oldest, and that means I have to look out for you. I can't afford to be gettin' lazy or careless. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you turned into one of them." I saw that his eyes were also beginning to get misty, but he quickly blinked away the approaching tears and straightened himself up. "Are you okay?"

Him asking me that question brought a whole new wave of tears to my eyes, and I shook my head no as I leaned my head down and rested my forehead against my knees. "No, Zack. Nothing is okay." I croaked.

I felt his arm snake around my back and he pulled me in close to him, and I just curled up as close as I could to his side and cried into his chest. "Tell me what's wrong, then."

"Everything is wrong. I hate it here; I hate this whole mess we've been put into. I don't want to have to learn to shoot just so I could protect myself from cannibals. I don't want to have to constantly be on the move because literally no place is safe. I want to go home, I want Mom and Dad back, and I just want everything to go back to normal." My words were coming out distorted and crackly, and I'm surprised he could even understand me.

"I know." He whispered. "Believe me, I know."

I heard another set of footsteps begin ascending the stairs, and I knew that it was Madisen, considering there was nobody left besides her in the house. She walked over and pushed the door open slightly and walked in.

"How are you feelin'?" She asked softly.

I shrugged my shoulders. "About as good as I look."

She walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down next to me, placing her hand on my knee and squeezing comfortingly. She leaned her head over onto my shoulder. "We're here for you."

I couldn't help but scoff at her words. I didn't mean for it to come out the way it did, but I was just so annoyed at everything right now that I couldn't help it. I shook my head, a hard frown on my face. "That's not enough."

Madisen raised her head and I saw her glance at me out of the corner of my eyes. She looked offended and hurt, as did Zack a little bit. But I couldn't really say that I blamed them for it. My words had come out pretty harsh.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked as calm as possible, the underlying tone of anger in her voice.

I looked over at her through misty eyes. "You can't honestly tell me that if you had the choice between me and Zack, and your parents, you wouldn't choose them over us?"

She looked down towards her feet and bit down on her lower lip. She breathed in deeply, my words sinking in and her coming to the realization that it wasn't that I was upset that I had her and Zack with me, it was quite the opposite, but what I really needed was my parents as well.

"Maybe they're still out there?" She offered. "Maybe we'll be able to find them."

"You can't honestly believe that. It's been two weeks now and there hasn't been a sign of them anywhere." I said bitterly.

"Well, maybe we could take a trip back into Atlanta. Maybe it's cleared up a bit and we could actually look around."

"That's not gonna happen." Zack interjected, shooting down her idea. "It was bad enough tryin' to get outta there the first time, I ain't doin' it again."

"Besides," I began. "If they're not far away from here, they're dead. There's no hope in finding them, we'd just be wasting our resources."

She laid her head back down onto my shoulder and Zack continued rubbing his hand up and down on my back soothingly. By now, the tears were just rolling down my cheeks and I was totally silent. I didn't even have it in me to make a sound anymore. I was at my breaking point, and I was beginning to wonder why I didn't just end it all, before things had the chance to get worse.