Fragile Wings
Alexander
Lily was huge now, we all knew that soon she would be giving birth. We were all scared. Lily because she had never done it before, she knew complications could arise so many things to consider, and us we were scared because of the newness of it. This baby would be something, a new life in this rotted, hollow world. But a new life who would need 24/7 looking out after, babies were noisy a whole new thing to consider. I also knew that I couldn't stand to see another desecrated child, yes I had seen children chewed on, tiny bodies on the ground and it hurt me, to know, to perhaps even watch it happen to a child I have looked after, held in my arms, knew that that very child saw me as comfort and protection and then for something so horroiffic to happen to it.... I couldn't, it would kill me.
"Thanks guys, all this is amazing."
Lily said to us, tears in her eyes as she looked around at the haphazard baby shower we had thrown for her. There was a portable basinet, some bottles and formula, mostly precautionary and more of a just in case, diapers, cloths, blankets and as many clothes as we could find. Just getting all that stuff was hard, it took months, we had been compliling it ever since we found out she was expecting, things picked up on our runs. The bassinet and most of the clothes was luck, we found it in a car whose occupants were in no shape to use it. The people inside had not been gotten to by the zombs either. I shook my head at the thought, it was horrible enough dealing with those things, then you add in people who are alive, sentient who do those things. I took a deep breath and smiled at Lily. My stomach gave a slight protest, which was weird since I knew it had gotten smaller, had gotten used to the scraps I found it. But then again all of us had been giving a little extra to Lily. Millie was snuggled up next to Lily, she put her hand on her belly.
"I'll help take care of the baby when it's born."
Lily smiled affectionately down at Millie, who in essence had become like a daughter to her. We continued talking and sharing stories as the day wound down.
~*~
"We need to think about moving from here, or doing something else."
Leo and I stared at an agiated Ben. We were outside the cave, bathed in moonlight as he continued.
"This place can't keep us forever. We think we're fortified, but honestly if another group really wanted to come over all they would have to do is get something to get them across. Besides with the baby who will make noise and most defintely attract walkers, the trench will fill up, and then what?"
Leo stared hard at Ben before speaking.
"We're safe here, we've been safe for quite some time. If another group did try we'd have to get away. If the walkers get to be too many we can burn them, why do you want to risk going out there?"
"But we're just hiding in this hole! Eventually someone will find us, and if we're lucky it will be civil, like minded people, worst case people who have let thier inner sadist out now that they can be free to rape and murder!"
Ben half yelled, passion in his voice as he waved his arms. Leo went closer and put a hand on his shoulder to calm him, comfort him.
"I understand what you're saying, but this isn't a decision we make on our own. After Lily has the baby we will revisit this, but as a group."
Ben turned his blue eyes towards me and I nodded.
"Lily is due anytime now, and her best best and the best chance for that baby is right here. Until then let's keep going as we always have."
Ben nodded his head and swiped at his nose but went back towards the cave, Leo and I gave each other a look of understanding and went back inside, the moon's rays casting a strong silver light across the trees.
~*~
We didn't have to wait long, about a week after the discussion Lily started whimpering. It alerted us all, and with the exception of Ben and Leo we all went to her side.
"What's wrong honey?"
Sarah asked, placing a cooling hand to Lily's furrowed brow, from the look on her face I could tell she was in serious pain.
"The baby is coming."
She managed to breathe, more of a whispered moan.
"Okay, okay we've got this."
I told her as I asked the kids to go with Ben and Leonus, which they did with unsatisfied faces.
"Okay Sarah, I'll hold her hand if you want to-"
"No, no. I want Sarah here."
My mouth was open as I looked at Sarah who kind of shurgged at me.
"But I don't know what to do, a more expericened person should be here."
Yeah I'd been witness to a couple of births, but never assited in them, and I certainly wasn't taking notes. Lily was really sweating, and panting and Sarah did seem to be giving her some modicum of comfort. I inhaled sharply. Okay, we can do this. I called to Ben to heat up water quickly and then I grabbed some torn up towels we had reserved for this day. I moved the fabric of the skirt she wore up over her knees. Lily was heaving breathing now, Sarah was dripping some water on her forehead.
"Are you comfortable?"
Both women looked at me like I was crazy. I blushed.
"I mean it didn't seem as comfortable pushing on your back as it would be say squatting."
Lily kind of nodded her head and with our help we moved her onto a flat stone, Sarah and the cave wall at her back for support. I adjusted the fabric again and blanced as I saw something appearing. Lily all but screamed, her breathing hard, labored. Sarah was instructing her on taking deep breaths and pushing when she felt like it. I felt dizzy and did my best to stay conscious.
~*~
I couldn't really say how long it took. I did know that the sun was going down as the boy, Alexander after his father, came blue into this world. I worked so hard, rubbing his little body, waiting for his first cry. Lily was semi unconscious, fatigued and had really not been in peak condition to give birth. He was so small, I started crying, gently squeezing his hands, toes, keeping his warm. Then a hoarse sob broke from his mouth and I choked back another sob with a smile. I bundled him as color sprang into his face,
"Is..my."
Lily could barely speak, but it was enough I grinned hugely down at her, placing the baby in her arms. She cried as she looked down.
"It's a boy."
I whispered.
"Lily try nursing him, he needs that comfort, and the protection your first milk brings."
With help from Sarah Lily had him at her breast, and both looked content, if not haggard.
"Jun we need to make sure we deliver the placenta."
I nodded.
"What do we do about the cord?
"Well I don't want to risk cutting it with a blunt and or dirty tool. We'll just let it fall off on it's own. Many cultures do this, it's referred to as a lotus birth."
I nodded my head as I watched mother and baby. Seeing soemthing, finally, that was beautiful and that made me happy, made my heart lighter. I turned my head a bit towards Sarah, who was smilng herself as she watched the duo.
"You seem very knowledgeable about this stuff."
"In my twenties I had been apprenticing for a midwife."
That made sense, I had figured she must've had some medical/healing background consider her help in the past and now. I saw figures out of the corner of my eye and turned my attentuion to it.
"Is the baby here?"
"Yes Millie. Wanna look?"
She nodded her blond head and slowly, cautiously came closer. Lily smiled at her. Sarah and I waited until Alexander had fallen asleep and Lily delivered her placenta, then we helped move them to a more comfortable location.
"Thanks guys, all this is amazing."
Lily said to us, tears in her eyes as she looked around at the haphazard baby shower we had thrown for her. There was a portable basinet, some bottles and formula, mostly precautionary and more of a just in case, diapers, cloths, blankets and as many clothes as we could find. Just getting all that stuff was hard, it took months, we had been compliling it ever since we found out she was expecting, things picked up on our runs. The bassinet and most of the clothes was luck, we found it in a car whose occupants were in no shape to use it. The people inside had not been gotten to by the zombs either. I shook my head at the thought, it was horrible enough dealing with those things, then you add in people who are alive, sentient who do those things. I took a deep breath and smiled at Lily. My stomach gave a slight protest, which was weird since I knew it had gotten smaller, had gotten used to the scraps I found it. But then again all of us had been giving a little extra to Lily. Millie was snuggled up next to Lily, she put her hand on her belly.
"I'll help take care of the baby when it's born."
Lily smiled affectionately down at Millie, who in essence had become like a daughter to her. We continued talking and sharing stories as the day wound down.
~*~
"We need to think about moving from here, or doing something else."
Leo and I stared at an agiated Ben. We were outside the cave, bathed in moonlight as he continued.
"This place can't keep us forever. We think we're fortified, but honestly if another group really wanted to come over all they would have to do is get something to get them across. Besides with the baby who will make noise and most defintely attract walkers, the trench will fill up, and then what?"
Leo stared hard at Ben before speaking.
"We're safe here, we've been safe for quite some time. If another group did try we'd have to get away. If the walkers get to be too many we can burn them, why do you want to risk going out there?"
"But we're just hiding in this hole! Eventually someone will find us, and if we're lucky it will be civil, like minded people, worst case people who have let thier inner sadist out now that they can be free to rape and murder!"
Ben half yelled, passion in his voice as he waved his arms. Leo went closer and put a hand on his shoulder to calm him, comfort him.
"I understand what you're saying, but this isn't a decision we make on our own. After Lily has the baby we will revisit this, but as a group."
Ben turned his blue eyes towards me and I nodded.
"Lily is due anytime now, and her best best and the best chance for that baby is right here. Until then let's keep going as we always have."
Ben nodded his head and swiped at his nose but went back towards the cave, Leo and I gave each other a look of understanding and went back inside, the moon's rays casting a strong silver light across the trees.
~*~
We didn't have to wait long, about a week after the discussion Lily started whimpering. It alerted us all, and with the exception of Ben and Leo we all went to her side.
"What's wrong honey?"
Sarah asked, placing a cooling hand to Lily's furrowed brow, from the look on her face I could tell she was in serious pain.
"The baby is coming."
She managed to breathe, more of a whispered moan.
"Okay, okay we've got this."
I told her as I asked the kids to go with Ben and Leonus, which they did with unsatisfied faces.
"Okay Sarah, I'll hold her hand if you want to-"
"No, no. I want Sarah here."
My mouth was open as I looked at Sarah who kind of shurgged at me.
"But I don't know what to do, a more expericened person should be here."
Yeah I'd been witness to a couple of births, but never assited in them, and I certainly wasn't taking notes. Lily was really sweating, and panting and Sarah did seem to be giving her some modicum of comfort. I inhaled sharply. Okay, we can do this. I called to Ben to heat up water quickly and then I grabbed some torn up towels we had reserved for this day. I moved the fabric of the skirt she wore up over her knees. Lily was heaving breathing now, Sarah was dripping some water on her forehead.
"Are you comfortable?"
Both women looked at me like I was crazy. I blushed.
"I mean it didn't seem as comfortable pushing on your back as it would be say squatting."
Lily kind of nodded her head and with our help we moved her onto a flat stone, Sarah and the cave wall at her back for support. I adjusted the fabric again and blanced as I saw something appearing. Lily all but screamed, her breathing hard, labored. Sarah was instructing her on taking deep breaths and pushing when she felt like it. I felt dizzy and did my best to stay conscious.
~*~
I couldn't really say how long it took. I did know that the sun was going down as the boy, Alexander after his father, came blue into this world. I worked so hard, rubbing his little body, waiting for his first cry. Lily was semi unconscious, fatigued and had really not been in peak condition to give birth. He was so small, I started crying, gently squeezing his hands, toes, keeping his warm. Then a hoarse sob broke from his mouth and I choked back another sob with a smile. I bundled him as color sprang into his face,
"Is..my."
Lily could barely speak, but it was enough I grinned hugely down at her, placing the baby in her arms. She cried as she looked down.
"It's a boy."
I whispered.
"Lily try nursing him, he needs that comfort, and the protection your first milk brings."
With help from Sarah Lily had him at her breast, and both looked content, if not haggard.
"Jun we need to make sure we deliver the placenta."
I nodded.
"What do we do about the cord?
"Well I don't want to risk cutting it with a blunt and or dirty tool. We'll just let it fall off on it's own. Many cultures do this, it's referred to as a lotus birth."
I nodded my head as I watched mother and baby. Seeing soemthing, finally, that was beautiful and that made me happy, made my heart lighter. I turned my head a bit towards Sarah, who was smilng herself as she watched the duo.
"You seem very knowledgeable about this stuff."
"In my twenties I had been apprenticing for a midwife."
That made sense, I had figured she must've had some medical/healing background consider her help in the past and now. I saw figures out of the corner of my eye and turned my attentuion to it.
"Is the baby here?"
"Yes Millie. Wanna look?"
She nodded her blond head and slowly, cautiously came closer. Lily smiled at her. Sarah and I waited until Alexander had fallen asleep and Lily delivered her placenta, then we helped move them to a more comfortable location.