Sleep Seems Overrated
Barely worth it.
Just one night...
Just one last night, come on...relax...
Just one FUCKING night! Just let me sleep, dammit!
The Benadryl isn't working. Isn't that supposed to help you sleep somehow? It said 25 milligrams would help, so 50 should work too...and that was an hour ago. Still, no relief. Just another example of how drugs aren't the answer. Or, a great example why stronger drugs are better. Maybe it's time to see somebody...
What's on the phone....nothing. Still. Blank tinder, fade still sucks, facebook's full of other people's joyous pictures, and yik yak has nothing but lonely depressed people. Why can't those people get their shit together? Surely there aren't that many people that are that depressed. It's like somebody took every person that's had a problem, had them spill their guts, then put it on an anonymous knockoff of Twitter.
Something about this Spotify just seems to hit the spot. Finally, no more Cee Lo Green in my Ricky Nelson. Apparently, you've gotta pick their Ricky playlist if you want good Ricky.
"Keep away from a-Runaround-Sue ah huh yeah!"
Good to see that there's more like Ricky. Worst part of this is that when a song gets stuck in my head, it's there until it gets replaced. While this makes for a great internal MP3 player, it makes everything else miserable.
This knot in my stomach isn't going away, either.
"Treatment of the tachycardia is focused on treating the underlying cause."
Okay, so WHY does my stomach feel like it's got a brick in it? It all came around that time I got the email from Starfish, the campus 'early alert' system.
"Please schedule a meeting with your academic advisor to discuss dropping anatomy."
What the hell, I know my grade's not the best, but it can't be that bad, can it? Apparently, a 35% on a practical isn't good. Fuck, and I thought I had a good handle on that information. Goes to show what I know, I guess.
"It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini!"
Why didn't I spend more time being happy when I knew I had the time? Hell, I had the pickup to myself in the middle of nowhere, and enough blankets to keep me warm outside. There aren't bugs, so what gives? I could have spent it outside under the stars.
Could have...
Nothing's gonna get to a guy like thinking about the 'could haves'.
Maybe it's her fault? Maybe it's my mind that makes it her fault? Shit, I was happy with my first girlfriend. Then, one day, bam. I woke up after a great night with her and I couldn't get that damn song out of my head.
"I gooooo out on a party, and look for a little fun...but I find a darkened corner, cuz I still miss someone."
Johnny Cash, why you gotta do this to me... I woke up and literally fell right out of damn near any feelings I had for my first girlfriend. Instead, you got me hooked back on her.
Flashback to last year, second semester, after breaking it off with my first boo, rooming with classmates from high school after dropping my last roommate. I started snapping her right around then, and it seemed to go well. Her roommate took an odd liking to me, in retrospect. A few days later, after I start feeling genuinely happy again. Things are looking up!
Just a handful of days after that, I get a snap from my roommate, and he's with her. This is odd...I get a snap from her, and she's with him. Expected, but still odd. The caption on the pic hit home, though.
"Bdubs date with this guy!"
Well fuck. There goes that. But that's not the first time this has happened to me, is it? Hell, it's the identical scenario, just a year later and college-oriented. Same girl, same timeframe, same almost-relationship. The only change is the friend that's dating her. Wow, what am I doing that I can't get this to work?
"Just tell her that you love her; make sure that you're thinking of her in everything you say and do!"
Depressingly good timing, Bobby Vee.
I guess it's a good thing that I don't have a relationship now. I don't have time to study, or sleep, and I barely remember to feed myself, not that I'm ever half hungry. I told my first girlfriend that I wouldn't have time for a relationship, especially with the distance I'd have to go. I guess that's true, isn't it?
It's 0400 and I've got class at 1400. I guess that's ten hours of sleep. Hell, is it even worth it at this point? I've already got to drop anatomy. I've got an A in policing, and chemistry is holding its own I guess. I really couldn't care less at this point.
Maybe a relationship is what I need. Somebody to talk to. Somebody to hold in the night and feel like I'm protecting. Well, N is clearly into me, but I just can't seem to fall for her. I friendzoned her and I can't get her out of it. We're both trying, but it just ain't flying. I could always go after E, but seeing as how she's great friends with N, that's asking for trouble. E seems to be the one I want, seeing as how I can't have somebody that's in a relationship with my classmates.
Out of all the things I've got to do, THIS shit shouldn't be all of it.
"Stood up, broken-hearted, again..."
I've got the ability to drop IVs like it's my job, I can chemically and electrically restart hearts when I see fit. But, for some reason, I can't manage my own stress?
Just one last night, come on...relax...
Just one FUCKING night! Just let me sleep, dammit!
The Benadryl isn't working. Isn't that supposed to help you sleep somehow? It said 25 milligrams would help, so 50 should work too...and that was an hour ago. Still, no relief. Just another example of how drugs aren't the answer. Or, a great example why stronger drugs are better. Maybe it's time to see somebody...
What's on the phone....nothing. Still. Blank tinder, fade still sucks, facebook's full of other people's joyous pictures, and yik yak has nothing but lonely depressed people. Why can't those people get their shit together? Surely there aren't that many people that are that depressed. It's like somebody took every person that's had a problem, had them spill their guts, then put it on an anonymous knockoff of Twitter.
Something about this Spotify just seems to hit the spot. Finally, no more Cee Lo Green in my Ricky Nelson. Apparently, you've gotta pick their Ricky playlist if you want good Ricky.
"Keep away from a-Runaround-Sue ah huh yeah!"
Good to see that there's more like Ricky. Worst part of this is that when a song gets stuck in my head, it's there until it gets replaced. While this makes for a great internal MP3 player, it makes everything else miserable.
This knot in my stomach isn't going away, either.
"Treatment of the tachycardia is focused on treating the underlying cause."
Okay, so WHY does my stomach feel like it's got a brick in it? It all came around that time I got the email from Starfish, the campus 'early alert' system.
"Please schedule a meeting with your academic advisor to discuss dropping anatomy."
What the hell, I know my grade's not the best, but it can't be that bad, can it? Apparently, a 35% on a practical isn't good. Fuck, and I thought I had a good handle on that information. Goes to show what I know, I guess.
"It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini!"
Why didn't I spend more time being happy when I knew I had the time? Hell, I had the pickup to myself in the middle of nowhere, and enough blankets to keep me warm outside. There aren't bugs, so what gives? I could have spent it outside under the stars.
Could have...
Nothing's gonna get to a guy like thinking about the 'could haves'.
Maybe it's her fault? Maybe it's my mind that makes it her fault? Shit, I was happy with my first girlfriend. Then, one day, bam. I woke up after a great night with her and I couldn't get that damn song out of my head.
"I gooooo out on a party, and look for a little fun...but I find a darkened corner, cuz I still miss someone."
Johnny Cash, why you gotta do this to me... I woke up and literally fell right out of damn near any feelings I had for my first girlfriend. Instead, you got me hooked back on her.
Flashback to last year, second semester, after breaking it off with my first boo, rooming with classmates from high school after dropping my last roommate. I started snapping her right around then, and it seemed to go well. Her roommate took an odd liking to me, in retrospect. A few days later, after I start feeling genuinely happy again. Things are looking up!
Just a handful of days after that, I get a snap from my roommate, and he's with her. This is odd...I get a snap from her, and she's with him. Expected, but still odd. The caption on the pic hit home, though.
"Bdubs date with this guy!"
Well fuck. There goes that. But that's not the first time this has happened to me, is it? Hell, it's the identical scenario, just a year later and college-oriented. Same girl, same timeframe, same almost-relationship. The only change is the friend that's dating her. Wow, what am I doing that I can't get this to work?
"Just tell her that you love her; make sure that you're thinking of her in everything you say and do!"
Depressingly good timing, Bobby Vee.
I guess it's a good thing that I don't have a relationship now. I don't have time to study, or sleep, and I barely remember to feed myself, not that I'm ever half hungry. I told my first girlfriend that I wouldn't have time for a relationship, especially with the distance I'd have to go. I guess that's true, isn't it?
It's 0400 and I've got class at 1400. I guess that's ten hours of sleep. Hell, is it even worth it at this point? I've already got to drop anatomy. I've got an A in policing, and chemistry is holding its own I guess. I really couldn't care less at this point.
Maybe a relationship is what I need. Somebody to talk to. Somebody to hold in the night and feel like I'm protecting. Well, N is clearly into me, but I just can't seem to fall for her. I friendzoned her and I can't get her out of it. We're both trying, but it just ain't flying. I could always go after E, but seeing as how she's great friends with N, that's asking for trouble. E seems to be the one I want, seeing as how I can't have somebody that's in a relationship with my classmates.
Out of all the things I've got to do, THIS shit shouldn't be all of it.
"Stood up, broken-hearted, again..."
I've got the ability to drop IVs like it's my job, I can chemically and electrically restart hearts when I see fit. But, for some reason, I can't manage my own stress?